Smokey

by Sam Crescent

  Smokey paid, refusing to let her.

  He walked her back to the bakery. She held Harlow’s food. It was awkward as she waited.

  She looked at Smokey, and he leaned in close only to take a step back. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  She didn’t say anything, instead, watching him go.

  ****

  “How’s Ava?” Raven asked.

  Smokey turned to her, but he didn’t want to talk. “Fine.”

  “Look, I know you hate me.”

  “No, Raven. You’re wrong. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you.”

  “After what I did?”

  Smokey checked to see the loading dock before he gave her his full attention. “You can try to take the blame for what went down, but it’s not on you. It’s on me. I’m the one who told you to do what you did. You can’t blame yourself. I’m sorry Ava won’t talk to you.”

  Raven quickly looked away, but he saw the pain in her eyes. She thought she wasn’t easy to read, but he knew.

  “I miss her,” Raven said. “I haven’t been good at making friends. Since it all happened, Abriana won’t have me around either. I lost the two friends I thought I had.”

  He didn’t say anything as it was once again, all his fault.

  “How is the pregnancy?”

  “Good. The baby appears healthy.”

  “Will you both be getting back together?”

  “Raven, I really don’t want to talk about it.” The last of product was unloaded and Smokey stepped forward, shaking the mafia man’s hand. A brown envelope was given to him, and he took it, turning on his heel and leaving.

  His men were already on their bikes, and Raven was to the left, straddling hers. She refused to stay at home.

  Now he understood why. If Abriana wasn’t seeing her, nor Ava, Raven didn’t have anyone else. She didn’t have anything outside of the club.

  Once they were out from the drop-off, they took to the open road. Forty minutes later, they arrived at an abandoned warehouse.

  He, Raven, and Hunter, walked inside.

  Carlos Santigo was waiting for them, a large bag by his side. He hung up his cell phone as they entered. “In record time.”

  “If you plan to stitch us up, you better know I’ll take you down with me. I’ve played this dance before.”

  “Drago said you’d be a pain and completely untrustworthy.”

  “You people broke my trust.”

  “You people.” Carlos glanced over them, lingering on Raven. “You have a woman here. Is she some kind of gift?”

  “Fuck you, asshole,” Raven said.

  Smokey chuckled. “A gift. I don’t owe you shit.”

  Carlos continued to look at Raven.

  “What’s the matter? Can’t stand a woman being here?”

  “I can. It’s just … unusual.”

  Raven snorted. “Why don’t you try to pretend your women have brains for themselves? You’ll be pleasantly surprised. What the fuck are we doing dealing with this asshole?”

  “You were there at the drop?” Carlos asked.

  Raven rounded Smokey and took a step toward Carlos. “My ass sat on my bike, riding your product across the city, hotshot. Believe me, I can do a hell of a lot more than that.”

  One of Carlos’s guards reached out as if to touch her, and Raven reacted. She slammed her elbow against the man’s face, dropping him.

  Within seconds, guns were raised and Smokey had enough entertainment. Any other time in his life, he would’ve allowed Raven to have her fun, but he had a woman waiting for him back home.

  She’s not waiting for you.

  Fuck.

  Just another reminder of what he’d lost.

  Ava wasn’t waiting for him, but he wanted her.

  Pulling Raven behind him, he pointed his gun at Carlos. “We didn’t cause this.”

  Carlos smiled and signaled for his men to lower their weapons. “Here is your payment. It’s a pleasure doing business with you.” He turned on his heel and walked away.

  Smokey checked over the money, seeing it was all there.

  He was going to have to get Ugly Beast to call Drago. He was growing tired of the whiplash Carlos was causing.

  “I’m sorry,” Raven said.

  “Don’t apologize. The guy is a fucking asshole.” Smokey divided the cash between them all. They’d bring it back together at the clubhouse, equal it out, and then they’d be on their way.

  They left the warehouse, climbed onto their bikes, and took to the road, riding well into the deep of night, only arriving back at the clubhouse when the sun had started to come up.

  The guys were waiting at church. The money was distributed, and with nothing else to discuss, they all went their separate ways.

  Straddling his bike, he only had to wait a few seconds before Ugly Beast came out, putting a hand on his bike.

  Smokey stared at his friend, shocked he would even dare to touch his bike.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea you going out,” Ugly Beast said.

  “Get your fucking hands off my bike. I’m going to go and see my woman.”

  “Smokey, you’ve been without sleep for nearly forty-eight hours. You’re not going to be any good to us nearly dead.”

  “I’ll rest when I want to. You’re riding to Abriana. Why can I go to Ava?”

  Ugly Beast winced. “Because my wife is going to let me into my house and snuggle up close to her. Ava’s not going to let you through the front door.”

  Smokey snorted. “I can’t believe you just said snuggle. All the guys are going to hear about it. You’re not living it down.”

  “Damn it, Smokey, I’m not kidding.”

  “And you think I am? I’m going to my woman. I haven’t seen her and I want to. Get the fuck off me. I mean it.” He glared at Ugly Beast, ready to beat the shit out of the guy if he continued to get in his way.

  “I’m following behind you.”

  Smokey rolled his eyes, but he didn’t give Ugly Beast a chance to catch up with him.

  He rode all the way to her house, breaking every single speed limit. By the time he arrived, it was close to eight o’clock, and he was so fucking tired.

  Rather than linger on his bike, he parked in her driveway.

  Ugly Beast had caught up, and he wasn’t too far behind.

  Ignoring him, he walked right up to Ava’s door and knocked.

  She didn’t have to take him in.

  He wouldn’t blame her for pushing his ass out.

  Ava opened the door.

  Her blonde locks were down. The shortness of them hit him in the gut.

  “Smokey?” She looked, pale and he noticed perspiration on her brow.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “I … I had to see you. I’ve just come back from a run. Ugly Beast is following my ass, and I really want to beat the living crap out of him. Can I … crash here?”

  “You want to sleep in my house?” she asked.

  This was a big mistake. He should apologize for interrupting, but instead, he nodded. He should turn away.

  “Sure. Of course.” Ava stepped back and she surprised him by letting him inside her house.

  She’d changed the locks, and he had no choice but to destroy the key he’d taken weeks ago, or was it months ago now? No, it was months ago.

  The time with Ava blended all together.

  Ava closed and locked the door. He was tempted to give Ugly Beast the finger, but it wasn’t appropriate.

  She rubbed at her temple. “Er, do you want to … I don’t know, go for a shower? Change?”

  “I could use a shower.”

  His stomach chose that moment to growl.

  “If you go and shower. I’ll make you some food.”

  “Ava, are you okay?” He noticed she swayed a bit, and then her hand went to her mouth.

  She dashed past him and he followed her. She bent over the kitchen sink and threw up.

  He wrapped her hair in his fist
and he missed the length.

  Your fault.

  All of this is your fault.

  Smokey held her hair out of the way as she continued to vomit.

  “I’m so sorry about this,” she said, seconds later. She cleaned up the mess and he kept her hair pinned back. She washed her mouth out standing up, and he had no choice but to let her go.

  “How long have you had to deal with that?” he asked.

  “I’ve been enjoying the sickness for a few weeks now.” She shrugged. “The curse of being pregnant. I’ll do myself some dry toast and all will be fine. You go and shower. I’ll make you some breakfast.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Go, Smokey. I got this. I’ve been throwing up, feeding myself, and working at the bakery without any help. I can keep on doing it.”

  “Just because you’ve been doing it doesn’t make it right.”

  She folded her arms. “I’m happy to keep on doing it. Please, go and shower.”

  He hesitated but her stance spoke volumes, and he had no choice but to do as she asked.

  Smokey remembered where the shower was. He also found some of his clothes still in the drawer where he’d left them last time. Why hadn’t she thrown them out?

  He took the fastest shower, rinsing off the days of grime and sweat from being out on the road. He was so fucking tired, but being in Ava’s house, he’d become wired.

  She was in the kitchen making him some food.

  Clean and refreshed, he changed into some clothes and made his way downstairs. He hung his jacket up beside her coat and held the smelly clothes in his fist.

  Ava was frying him some breakfast as he entered. She finished putting the eggs into the pan and turned toward him. “I’ll take them.”

  She grabbed the clothes and stepped back, disappearing to her laundry room. He’d forgotten how much he missed this place.

  Ava came back. “Have a seat.”

  She was no longer in her pajamas, having changed into a pair of sweatpants and a shirt with lots of holes in it. Her hair was tied up at the back of her neck.

  To him, she still looked like the sexiest woman in the world. He wanted to tell her so but kept it to himself.

  “I hope you enjoy breakfast.” She put out a plate full of tomatoes, sausage, bacon, eggs, and lots of toast.

  He glanced over at her plate. She had a single slice of dried toast. She hadn’t even spread it with butter.

  “I don’t like this,” he said.

  “I’m fine. It’s why I can enjoy a really good lunch.” She nibbled at her toast and he saw she drank a glass of water.

  “You’re really content to eat just that?”

  “It settles my stomach.” She patted her abdomen. “I’m hoping one day he or she will let me eat something more substantial. I like to start my day with a good meal.”

  “This is really good.” He felt guilty for being able to eat, but he shoveled the food in, thankful for something good. On the road, he’d eaten his fair share of greasy diner food, and not all of it was good.

  Ava finished her toast and water. “I’ve got to head out to the bakery. I’ll be back later tonight.” She reached into her pocket. “If you’d lock up and hand me back the key.”

  “Ava, you’re going to trust me with this?”

  “I don’t have a choice. I could kick you out, but that seems mean. Besides, you’re my baby’s daddy. I’m not going to be mean.” She forced a smile. “I hope you feel better.”

  Smokey wanted to say something to get her to stay, to talk to him, but once again, he drew a blank. He had nothing good to say and Ava, she needed her space.

  The moment he heard the door close, her entire house felt so empty, and he hated it. He finished his breakfast. Cleaned the dishes and wiped down her kitchen. He walked upstairs, and rather than use the spare bedroom, he didn’t even look at it. He went straight to her room. Lying down on her bed, he breathed her in, and for a few short hours, he could pretend she was right there with him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I don’t need anything too big,” Ava said, several days later.

  She stood in the baby store with Smokey. They had yet to settle on a single crib. She’d already started to decorate the spare bedroom in her spare time. When her baby arrived, she wanted to be ready. Being a busy businesswoman, she knew how little time she’d have when it finally arrived.

  “It’s not that big. What if we have a large baby? You’re going to want room for them to grow.”

  “How big do you think this baby is going to be?” she asked, laughing.

  “I don’t know.” He reached out as if to touch her stomach and held himself back.

  They stood in a store with all kinds of couples around them.

  “Do you … do you want to touch it?” she asked.

  He looked into her eyes and shrugged.

  She chuckled. Ava didn’t give herself time to regret her decision. Reaching for his hand, she placed it on her stomach. The last few days, the weather had been changing between cold and hot. Today was one of the last days of the warm weather and by the end of the week, a snowstorm had been forecast.

  Ava tensed up as Smokey’s hand curled around her protruding stomach.

  “See. It’s not so big right now.”

  Smokey stared into her eyes.

  The world faded away.

  “Can I help you pick something out?” the sales assistant asked.

  “Fuck off.” Smokey growled at the man to make him leave.

  She gasped and found it amusing as the man quickly rushed off as if he was being chased by some kind of monster.

  The world came back in full focus and Smokey cursed.

  “You didn’t need to do that.”

  “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to touch you?”

  His words brought the image of him touching her all over. She wasn’t disgusted or hurt. Her body came to life.

  “If you want to, all you need to do is ask.”

  “I fucked up, Ava, big time.”

  She stepped away.

  “I don’t want to have to ask to touch you.” He came toward her, resting his palm on her shoulder. “There are days all I can think about is touching you. Holding you in my arms.”

  Most nights, she woke up feeling the same way. She didn’t tell him that though. “We need to make a decision on the crib and everything, Smokey.”

  He sighed.

  They made their way around the store and finally, Ava saw the perfect one. It was an oak crib. Cushions lined the sides and it looked perfect.

  Smokey organized everything. The furniture, unfortunately, didn’t come pre-made. Boxes would arrive, which acquired assembly.

  They sat down at a café, ordered some lunch, and Smokey smiled at her.

  “What?”

  “I’ll build everything. You don’t have a problem. We’ll pick a room and get everything set up.”

  “I already have a room designed.”

  “You do?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She told him about the spare bedroom. “Didn’t you see it when you slept there?”

  “I used your sofa. It didn’t seem right going upstairs.”

  “Oh, okay.” Their food arrived. She’d settled on a salad bagel while Smokey went with cheese fries.

  She took a bite of her food, feeling the hunger hit her hard.

  They didn’t talk, enjoying their food, and then Smokey paid the bill.

  Once outside, Smokey held her hand as they walked toward the car. He opened the door and he settled her inside. Smokey surprised her when he took the seatbelt out of her hand and slid it into place.

  “I can do that.”

  “I know. I don’t want you to.”

  She smiled. She loved how attentive he’d become.

  Ava truly believed she could become addicted to his touches.

  He drove them back to her house, the radio filling the silence between them. It didn’t feel awkward though. A
va relaxed, staring out of the window. Her bakery was closed for the first time in weeks. Ever since she hired Harlow, she’d been opening it more and more. The young woman fascinated her.

  The way she talked all the time and shared her views on recipes. They talked nonstop about cooking. She loved her.

  For the first time, she’d found a similar like-minded soul.

  Back at her home, she glanced at Smokey. “Do you want to come in?” she asked. “I can show you what I’ve done with the bedroom.”

  Smokey was already unbuckling his seatbelt.

  After climbing out of the car, she followed him into the house. He didn’t have a key. He’d mailed it back through her letterbox after he let himself out and locked the house.

  He was like an entirely different person. Sometimes, she wasn’t entirely sure which part of him was real or not.

  Smokey closed the door behind him. She slipped off her shoes, put her jacket and bag on the hook by the door, and went to the stairs.

  He’d done the same and started to follow her up.

  Opening the bedroom door, she stepped inside.

  She’d stopped painting several days ago and there was no lingering smell because she’d kept the window open the entire time. Even as the weather had gotten cold, she’d simply donned a sweater.

  “What do you think?” she asked.

  She’d gone for neutral colors. A sunshine yellow that made her think of lemons. She’d found some little heart glow-in-the-dark stars that she’d put on the ceiling. The walls were plain as she couldn’t draw at all.

  “I’d love to have some pictures on the wall, you know. I thought about a tree, but I think plain works for now.” She had a small chest of drawers that she’d struggled to assemble but she’d got it working. Abriana had asked Ugly Beast to come, and he’d tightened up the screws and attached it to the wall so it didn’t move.

  She could bake and cook, but decorating or assembling wasn’t in her repertoire.

  Clasping her hands together, she turned to look at Smokey and waited.

  He touched the walls, saying nothing.

  Did he hate it?

  It was her house. She could decorate however she wanted to, but it was really important to her that he like it.

  “You hate it?”

  “No.”