by Leigh Allen
“You know, I get it, though. My dad has seen me lose my temper a few times and he thinks I am this huge screw-up. I love baseball and he thinks it is just a hobby.”
“Well, I don’t think you are a screw-up. In fact, I sort of am crazy about you,” I admitted.”But, I do have to ask. What was he talking about back there? An incident?” I asked.
Talon’s hands gripped the steering wheel and his jaw clenched tightly. I had hit a soft spot with him, but I needed to know.
Exhaling a deep breath, Talon began. “Last year, I got into some trouble. There was this asshole that used to mess with me. He loved to see me get upset. Anyway, we got into a fight one day and I guess I went a little too far,” Talon said, his eyes never leaving the road.
“How far?” I asked, gulping down my fear. My stomach was in knots and I dreaded to hear the rest.
“I hurt the guy pretty bad. He had to go to the hospital. The school offered to not expel me if we agreed to transfer me to a new school. I’m not a bad guy, Mallory,” Talon stated, his words careful and filled with sorrow.
“I know you aren’t,” I said, leaning over and patting his leg. “But, you do need to work on your anger. You are better than that,” I finished.
And, I truly believed that.
Watching Talon with his dad, made me see him in a different light. At school and around me, he was cocky and carefree. In front of his dad, he was a scolded little boy just looking for attention and affection. It broke my heart to see him stand there and know that they didn’t get along.
Diverting his eyes to me, Talon smiled before turning back to the road. “Mallory, I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I swear, I won’t make you regret dating me,” he said, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips. Kissing my palm, Talon drove, never letting go of me.
We made out during the entire showing of Jaws. Neither of us really cared about what movie was playing. We had parked and as soon as the lights around us dimmed, we were all over one another. Our hands explored one another and our lips were red and puffy by the time the movie ended.
It was hard not to give in to the temptations and allow Talon to have sex with me. I wanted him and I knew he wanted me too. I had given him pieces of me that no one else had ever had, but there was still a part of me that I was holding on to. Sure Marcus had touched me and we had experienced things, but nothing quite compared to this. It would only be a matter of time before Talon and I couldn’t fight our lust anymore.
CHAPTER 8
Three weeks.
That was how long it took for me to realize that what was happening between Talon and myself was more than just a high school crush.
The feelings that were brewing inside of me pushed past the limits of everything I had ever known.
I was beginning to love him.
Adore him.
Need him.
And, it was beyond exhilarating to take just one look at someone and have your heart filled with such love and admiration, that you felt like you just might cry.
When I was around Talon, my world seemed to be perfect.
When my soccer season ended, I was thankful for the extra time that I could have to spend with Talon.
It was also three weeks later that I realized my love for Talon might be blinding me from something else…
“I totally get why baseball is such a fun sport to watch,” Hollis said, moving her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose so she could see better.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Look at those guys in their tight pants. And don’t get me started on the muscles,” she said, licking her lips.
Mike, who sat behind us, made a fake gagging noise and rolled his eyes. “You girls are insane,” he teased.
Allison turned and slapped Mike on the leg. “You are just jealous we aren’t checking you out,” she flirted.
I had noticed lately Allison and Mike had a sort of love and hate relationship. I wondered if they would ever hook up.
I watched and laughed as Hollis winked at Thomas, the catcher for the team. He smiled back and I already knew that by the end of the game, he would have her number.
“Will you stop,” I laughed, playfully smacking her arm. “Talon was really nervous about this game. He says this team plays dirty,” I added.
Talon had given me the rundown of our school's rival team, East Vine High. They apparently liked to play dirty and didn’t care how dangerous they were.
“Your boyfriend needs to lighten up,” she mumbled, but now low enough. I heard her and like lightning turned to face her.
“What the hell does that mean?” I asked.
“Oh come on, Mallory,” she said, rolling her eyes and laughing off my anger. “Talon is always so uptight. It’s like he is constantly making sure no other guy looks at you or talks to you. Maybe you need to give him a little extra loving,” she giggled.
Ugh, I could go from wanting to smack Hollis to loving her again in a heartbeat.
“Whatever,” I said, clearly not wanting to fight right now.
“Speaking of the devil,” Hollis says, pointing behind me.
Just then, I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind. I know that perfect scent of spice as his body rests against mine.
“Hey, babe,” Talon breathes.
I turn in his arms and kiss him hard on the lips. “Good luck on your game.”
“You're my good luck charm,” he says, kissing me one last time.
Mike, Allison, and Hollis all make fake gagging noises at me and Talon.
He looks so adorable in his blue and black jersey and tight, black pants. I’m so caught up in Talon, I pay our friends no attention as they make fun of us. His hat is on backward and if we weren’t in the middle of a crowd, I would totally jump him right now.
“Hey, save a seat for my dad. He said he was going to try and make it after he got off work,” Talon said.
“Already done,” I stated, pointing beside me where I left my purse sitting.
“I love you,” Talon says, as he goes to start walking toward the field.
He hadn’t made it two steps away from me before all hell breaks loose…
“Hey man, maybe your girlfriend will let me take her out after we win this game,” a guy from the other team calls out to Talon.
I can feel Talon tense next to me and I reach down and grab his hand. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s just trying to psych you out before the game,” I argue, hoping he will just let this go.
“Fuck off,” Talon yells over to the guy. Turning to me, he still looks angry, but calms just a bit. “This asshole is going to piss me off. Just go sit on the bleachers and cheer me on,” Talon says, leaning down and kissing me.
“Calm down, man,” Mike states. I can see he is getting nervous and that makes me worried.
“Talon get over here and warm up with the team,” Coach yells to Talon.
“Yeah, Talon. Listen to your coach,” the guy yells again. I am not sure if he has a death wish or not, but he is too stupid to notice the danger of what he is doing. Turning to me, he winks and smirks. “You want to come play with a real baller?” he asks, licking his lips in a suggestive manner.
His teammates laugh and carry on as they see their teammate hitting on me and clearly pissing off Talon. I jump from the bleachers and try to stop him. But of course, he is only seeing red right now, just like a raging bull.
Without warning, Talon throws his bat down and pushes past me as he races onto the field. His coach is screaming at him to stop and members from his team begin to chase after him. But, Talon doesn’t hear any of it. He lunges toward the guy and punches him in the nose, knocking him to the grass below. Blood begins to pour out of the guy's nose and he yells out in pain. I see Mike leap off the bleachers behind us and head straight to Talon. No doubt, he is trying to get Talon out of a mess, but I think we all know it is too late.
Players from both teams storm the fight and I can no longer see Talon anymore. Holli
s grabs me and pulls me back, just as a player from the other team stumbles toward me after being shoved by one of our players. Allison is fumbling for her keys as she helps Hollis pull me away.
Everything is chaotic and in the distance, I can now hear police sirens. I am sure someone called the cops after the fight broke out.
“We need to get out of here,” Hollis screamed over the cheers and yelling of the fight.
“No, I can’t leave Talon,” I cried.
“Mallory, you are going to get hurt,” she argued, pulling me back. “Besides, Mike is here. He will help get Talon out of there.”
“Please, Mallory,” Allison yells.
If this night couldn’t get any worse, the one person who I wished wouldn’t show up-- just did.
My eyes locked with Talon’s dad and instantly, I saw the look of shame cross his features.
He hadn’t made it to one of Talon’s games this season, but here he was now.
I didn’t know what to do or say. He just looked at me, nodded, and then turned and left.
My heart broke for Talon, but honestly, it was probably for the best.
“What are you looking at? Come on, we are leaving. You can find out what happens with Talon later,” Hollis practically screamed.
I was so torn, but I also knew she was right. There was nothing I could do for Talon at this moment and if I stayed, I would more than likely get hurt.
I allowed Hollis to lead me away. I only prayed Talon would understand.
***
It was after nine when I finally heard from Talon. I had rushed home and waited with my cell phone glued to my hand.
I screamed, cried, and cursed him for being so reactive. This was twice now that he had allowed his anger to get the best of him. I couldn’t help but think back to what George had said about Talon’s incident at his last school and the warning Marcus had given me. We would have to talk about this.
When my phone finally rang, I almost dropped the device as I slid my finger across the screen.
“Hello,” I sniffled, wiping my tear stained eyes.
“Why the hell did you leave?” Talon yelled into the phone. “Mike said that you just took off.”
I had to remove the phone from my ear. I was beyond shocked. Was he seriously yelling at me?
“Are you serious?” I asked, my own voice rising in anger. “I have been sitting here for hours worried about you. Crying for you.”
“You just left. I had no idea where you went. The school called my dad. I am suspended from the team. My baseball career is over. I need to see you,” his words rushed out, like he hadn’t even taken a breath.
So many thoughts were rushing through my head, but all I managed to say was ok.
“I am on my way to your house,” Talon stated.
He wasn’t asking. He was telling me.
“I will meet you outside. My mom is already asleep. I had to tell her Hollis and I got into an argument so she wouldn’t question me about my crying,” I said.
“I’m outside,” he said, then hung up. It was clear he wasn’t concerned with how I felt or the lie I had to tell my mom.
Before getting off my bed, I stared down at my now blank screen. What in the hell is going on? The loving and sweet Talon I had become obsessed with, was changing. I felt a small piece of my heart break at that thought.
Stepping out into the night air, I wrapped my arms around myself. It was now September and the nights were growing colder as Fall rushed into our small town.
Talon jumped out of his truck and stomped over to me.
“I expect my girlfriend to support me. To not just run away,” he said, stopping just inches away from me.
Aghast, I stopped him. “You have some nerve to talk to me like that. I just watched you beat the shit out of some stupid guy and for what? Because he talked to me. News flash, he was trying to piss you off. He got exactly what he wanted-- you angry and off the team. I didn’t want to leave you, go ahead and call Mike, Allison, and Hollis. They will all tell you, I fought to stay there, but it was too dangerous. Did you even think of me?” I cried out. Tears were pouring down my face as my voice echoed in the night.
Recognition and understanding seemed to cross his features. “Babe, I’m sorry. You are right; I shouldn’t talk to you like that. I didn’t think, I just reacted. When it comes to you, it’s like I’m helpless. I can’t seem to control myself when it comes to you, or anyone else around you,” he said.
His eyes were pleading for me to forgive him, to allow him to get away with his atrocious behavior.
No, not this time.
“You can’t use me as an excuse,” I shouted, shoving him away from me.
Hurt flashed across his face as he allowed me to move his body. We both knew he was solid as a rock and nothing could jolt him, but he had let me.
“I’m not using you as an excuse,” he bellowed back at me. “When some guy taunts me and talks about you, I am going to react. Any guy would do it,” he argued.
Throwing my hands up in the air, I was beyond frustrated. Sure, most guys would want to protect their girlfriends, but Talon took everything to a whole new level.
“Reacting is fine. Even yelling is fine, but punching some guy in the face until he can barely see is not ok,” I stated firmly. “You think that you can just lash out and say sorry and that makes it all better,” I cried. “It wasn’t even that big of a deal!”
I could feel my resolve melting. I was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of his excuses. Just tired. Whenever he became angry, it was because of his feelings for me. It wasn’t right.
I hadn’t realized it before, but now I did. I was losing a piece of myself each day. No longer was I the determined and put together girl. Now, I was reckless and I could feel the changes within myself each day.
“I would do anything for you, why can’t you see that? I would kill for you. I would walk through the fiery depths of hell, just to see your face. You have to know how I feel,” he raged.
“Talon, I do know how you feel. I feel it too, but I don’t lose my temper,” I cried back.
Taking me in his arms, Talon held me tightly to his chest. I tried to fight against him, but I was too weak and he was too strong.
“Babe, I love you so damn much. This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you. This isn’t how you should hear those three words from me, but right now, I’m afraid I might lose you. You have to know that I love you more than anything,” Talon said, his words shaking, almost as though he were crying.
“I’ve been wronged by almost everyone in my life. My heart and brain constantly screams at me to just keep my walls up and not let anyone in. But with you-- your heart and soul called to me with just one smile. I can’t walk away from you, ever.”
Allowing Talon to hold me, I confessed something so deep and honest-- I was afraid of how he might think of me. “You remind me of who I used to be. The girl who knew what she wanted and who went after her dreams. My story changed, though, when I met Marcus. My life seemed to revolve around him until it didn’t anymore. The moment he broke up with me, it was like I didn’t know who I was anymore. In anger, I swore I never loved him, but it was all a lie. I did love him, but now, I know that wasn’t true love. Being with you is a soul stealing love,” I said, my voice low as I almost whispered the words. It was the first time I had been this honest with anyone else.
Slowly releasing me, Talon held me at arms length. “Mallory, you are it for me now. I swear to you, if you forgive me, I will work on my anger. I will make you trust me and believe in me,” he stated, staring deeply into my soul.
There was no fighting it any longer. My heart longed for Talon, regardless of what he did. I was his and he was mine.
CHAPTER 9
Loving Talon was like riding a Ferris Wheel. There were moments where you felt so high that you could touch the sky, but then, as the wheel would continue its circular journey, you would feel the disappointment of the descent, knowing the feeling of pure joy was almost
over. That was how our relationship functioned. Almost like we were living in our own personal twisted version of a carnival. One minute we were perfect and in love-- sitting at the top of the Ferris Wheel, and untouched by the rest of the world. But then, when Talon found his anger taking over, it was our spiraling downfall that made me feel like what we had was about to be over.
It was exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. I wasn’t sure if me staying with Talon was the best decision, but I couldn’t find a way to leave him either. My love for him just ran too deep.
I had spent the better part of Sunday night working on homework and trying to catch my breath. Talon had become more possessive lately and I couldn’t find a moment for myself. Hollis and Allison had wanted me to go see a movie with them, but I told them I wasn’t feeling well. I knew they knew something was wrong, but I was thankful that they didn’t pry.
On Monday morning, I found myself walking faster than usual as I rushed to my locker. I wanted to grab my books and head to my first hour. Thankfully, several of our classes were separated between upstairs and downstairs, so if I timed it just right, I could make it before Talon had time to sneak upstairs.
Just as I grabbed my things and closed my locker, I was startled when Talon placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Hey babe. I called you last night, but you didn’t answer,” he said, giving me an annoyed frown.
I tried to muster a smile. There was no way I could be honest and tell him that I just needed some space. He would take it as something negative and I really didn’t want to fight with him.
“I’m sorry. I had a horrible headache and turned off my phone,” I said.
“I drove by your house, too, and was going to stop by, but you didn’t answer,” he stated again, like he was poking for a hole in my story.
“You should've come over,” I said.
That seemed to calm some of the tension flowing from Talon, but still, I could tell he was agitated that I hadn’t answered his calls.