by Erin Trejo
Carnie tries to scoot closer, but this is as good as it’s going to get.
“You promise you won’t hate me when this is all over?” she asks me softly.
My heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest. As much as I want to blame her and make this all her fault, it isn’t. It’s all on me. How the hell could I ever hate something that I love?
That word rolls around in my head. Love. I’ve never loved a goddamn thing aside from my parents and Ruby. Never even thought about it. Is that what this is that I feel? Do I love Carnie?
“I will never hate you baby. Ever.”
Just as the words leave my mouth the van comes to a stop. Carnie tenses next to me. She pulls her head from my shoulder. I lean over and kiss her cheek while I whisper, “Please Carnie. Don’t make him hurt you okay?” She looks up at me just as the back doors open and gives me a slight nod.
“Let’s get you two settled shall we?” Eric smirks when I look back over at him.
Fucking bastard. I don’t fucking see whatever it was that Carnie ever saw in him. Sure he’s a pretty boy, but that’s about as much as he has going for him. He’s not very well built, but with the help of six of other friends they were able to take me. Fuck I need to work out more after this little mishap.
“What the fuck are you wantin’ here Eric? We didn’t supply your ass with enough guns?” I ask not at all amused with this shit.
It’s aggravating to say the least, but I have more pressing things to deal with than some little shit that thinks he’s a real man now.
“Oh the guns came in perfectly. Just look at how good they shot you,” Eric says pointing to my shoulder.
“You shot him? What the hell is wrong with you Eric?” Carnie screams next to me. She’s scooting around to see my arm. Her mouth falls open and I can see the anger dancing in those pretty eyes of hers. I’m a little glad she feels the same way about me as I do for her.
“He jumped in front of the goddamn bullet. How is that my fault?” Eric asks like we’re going to actually answer him.
Well, I hadn’t planned on it, but apparently Carnie’s new willpower has a hold over her.
“Because you tried to shoot me you fucker. Why the hell did you do that anyway?” she screams. I’m not sure what’s happening right now. I can’t stop looking between the two of them though.
“I wasn’t going to kill you. I was just going to shut you up,” Eric says shrugging like it’s no big deal.
“So you shot him instead? What kind of dumbass are you?” she roars even louder.
Eric’s faces tenses as he looks at her and says through gritted teeth, “I told you to stop talking to me like that.” Apparently calling him dumb is his trigger point.
“If you didn’t act like one I wouldn’t have to.”
Eric lunges at her, grabs her by her hair, and slaps her across the face.
“Fuckin’ stop. You wanted us here and you got it. Let’s just do whatever the fuck it is we’re doin’,” I growl.
A few of Eric’s guys drag us out of the van. I look around and take in everything I can of my surroundings. I roll my eyes and almost call him a dumbass myself when I see where he has us.
“You’re kiddin’ me right?” I ask as I cock my head to the side and look at him.
“Shut the fuck up,” one of the guys snaps at me.
“You seriously brought us to your old apartment?” I ask casually.
What kind of idiot is he?
“Just walk,” Eric snaps giving me a push.
I chuckle under my breath as we walk toward the building. As we’re climbing the stairs I can hear Carnie calling him an idiot inside of my head. I’m starting to understand why she does it. The man is a complete fucking fool. Eric moves around us, unlocks the door, and shoves us inside. I strut over to the couch and drop down as he shoves Carnie down next to me. I stretch my legs out and cross them at the ankles. Sure, this crazy fuck might be dangerous, but as of right now he’s just stupid. I’ll take stupid any day.
“What now pretty boy?” I ask him and await his answer.
22
Carnie
Part of me is nervous as hell, but the other part is bored out of my mind. I’ve been sitting on our old couch with Viking for the last two hours. It’s like torture. I can’t touch him and I want to choke Eric. Half of his goons have left, so we have somewhat of an advantage if we could just get out of these zip ties somehow. Eric paces the floor in front of us clearly unsure of what to do next.
“This is stupid Eric. Let us go before the other guys find us and kill you,” I sneer at him.
I want to snap. That’s when he’s the most unsteady. Viking clears his throat next to me, but he doesn’t understand Eric like I do.
“Shut up Carnie. This is all your fault. I wouldn’t have had to do this if you hadn’t left me.” I instantly roll my eyes.
“You kept me a hostage in my own home Eric. What the hell did you think was going to happen?” I ask him.
“I kept you here for me. You’re mine.”
“I was yours. I’m not anymore,” I remind him.
Viking shifts uncomfortably next to me. I know he told me not to egg him on, but this is what we need to do to get him to make a move.
“You’re still mine Carnie. You always have been. As soon as the boys round up the money you’ll be mine again. We’re getting out of here and lover boy there won’t be able to find you,” he says proudly.
Fuck. Way to throw a game changer in there. Viking growls low in his throat, but I speak up before he gets the chance.
“Where are we going?” I ask making sure to put emphasis on the we.
“I’m not telling you. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Eric says glaring at me.
“This is stupid Eric. If you wanted me to go with you why didn’t you just ask me?”
He laughs a dark, menacing laugh.
“I sent my boy to get you didn’t I? I’d say that didn’t go over too well for him,” he says with a sigh.
“You sent someone. You should have come yourself,” my scream becomes louder and the more I scream the more I want to punch him in the face.
“Like that would have worked,” he mumbles under his breath.
“It would have. It would have showed me that you really loved me.”
I’m trying my best to keep my tone calm and as real sounding as possible, but this is just hard as hell. Thank fuck I never wanted to be an actress. Viking shifts a little, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation, but I know what I’m doing.
“Really? Because I didn’t show you enough? I did everything for you. I got into this bullshit, for you,” he roars.
“Stop lying. You did this for yourself. You never did anything but isolate me Eric. I couldn’t go to school, couldn’t have friends, hell I couldn’t even go out for a walk. Don’t turn this around on me,” I tell him in a harsh tone.
Eric walks around, but suddenly stops. His eyes come up to meet mine.
“Do you love me Carnie?”
That simple question only requires a yes or no answer but I sit here in stunned silence. I’ve never been a person to say I love someone without truly meaning it, but I’m about to lie to him and probably hurt Viking in the process.
“Yes.”
I say it with all of the strength I can muster. I can see Viking swallow hard with his throat bobbing. My heart clenches with the lie I just told. Eric watches me. He’s not saying a word. It’s intense. Way too intense. The room is thick with tension and the air is heavy.
“Can I go to the bathroom Eric?” I ask needing an exit.
I need away from the heat that’s rolling off Viking in waves. I need away from Eric who is still looking at me.
Slowly Eric nods his head and motions for me to stand. I shove myself up and walk toward him. He grabs me in his arms and kisses me roughly. I fight the urge to throw up and swallow it back down. When he breaks the kiss he pulls my head to his chest.
“We’ll ma
ke this work,” he whispers against me.
I can hear the rapid beat of his heart against my ribs. He reaches into his pocket as he pushes me back and pulls out a knife. He cuts the zip tie and shoves me in the direction of the bathroom. I hurry and close the door behind me. I turn on the water and open a drawer to grab one of his razor blades. My heart is thudding in my ears. I really hope I’m doing the right thing here. I slip the razor into my back pocket, flush the toilet, and open the door. I’m startled to see Eric standing there smirking at me. My heart is beating overtime. I’m fearful he knows I took a razor or that he just knows I did something. What if he checks? What if he finds it on me?
“Arms behind your back,” he says with a smile.
“I thought we were okay Eric?” I ask softly as I bat my eyelashes at him. He chuckles in return.
“We are. I still don’t trust you or him though,” he says nodding over his shoulder to Viking.
“It’s okay. I understand. So, what’s next?” I ask sweetly as he zips a tie pulling my hands back together.
In my head I’m praying to god that he doesn’t find the razor in my pocket. Eric leads me back to the couch and shoves me down while I stare up at him.
“We’re waiting. I told you that my guys are out picking up a little ransom and then they’ll be back,” he says as surely as he can.
Viking chuckles and says, “Ransom? Tell me you didn’t ask my club for money to get me back?”
I almost laugh at that thought, but I can see by the look in Eric’s eyes that is exactly what he did.
“They’ll pay for you Viking. You’re the fucking president.”
Viking chuckles, but it quickly turns into full blown laughter. Eric moves closer to us and slams the butt of his gun against Viking’s eye.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Eric can’t you just call them and tell them to hurry?” I interrupt their little bitch fight. It’s almost funny that Viking told me not to mess with him, but he’s doing exactly that.
“It’s not that easy Carnie. We have a system.”
He takes a step back and runs his hand through his hair. He turns to the two idiots that stayed with him and whispers something to them. I take that as my chance and scoot closer to Viking. I lean forward and Viking’s eyes stay on me the whole time. I keep watching Eric as I maneuver my fingers into the back pocket of my jeans. Very slowly I slip the blade free. I nick my finger as I pull it out. I wince, but keep my eyes on Eric. I shift and move my ass closer to Viking.
“Now isn’t the time for that darlin’,” he whispers under his breath.
I throw my head around to look at him before I jerk my head toward my back. He nods as if he understands me. I look back toward Eric and I’m happy to see that he’s still talking to his friends. Viking’s finger skims across mine. Heat races through my body just from that small connection. He grabs the blade and shifts himself back into his spot. I watch him as he shifts forward. He’s no doubt trying to manipulate the blade so that he can free himself. Eric’s lackey buddies leave the apartment and I sigh in relief.
“Eric can we please talk this over?” I plead with him.
He shakes his head, pulls out his phone, and steps out the front door. He keeps it propped open slightly so that he can hear us. I wish this shit was over with already.
23
Viking
She’s a sneaky little thing. I thought she was just a little horny with all the excitement at first, but once I saw that blade glistening in her fingers I knew I was dead wrong. I also felt the warmth of blood on it when I took it and that made me wonder how bad her cut was. I slice through the zip tie, free my hands, and keep them behind my back until I know Eric’s on his phone. When I can hear his hushes talking I move.
“Is there a back way out of here?” I whisper catching Carnie’s attention.
“There’s a fire escape outside the bedroom window.”
“I want you to back up slowly until you’re against me. I’m gonna cut you loose. I’m sure he’s got his boys out front somewhere. Here’s the plan,” I begin to tell her while I’m checking to make sure Eric isn’t peeking in on us.
Carnie shifts and I cut the zip tie free. I hold her hands in the same position. She gasps and I give her a quiet chuckle.
“I’ll have to remember to tie you up later. For now though we need to move as quietly as possible. We can’t slam the door or he’ll hear us, yeah? I want you to go to the fire escape. When you get to the bottom you run. When you get to the third complex down, go in through the back door. Go up to the third floor. There’s a maintenance room there. Shut the door and get behind whatever you can. You wait for me. If I’m not there in thirty minutes then you run down the hallway screamin’ for help. Someone will call the police. You got me?”
Carnie shakes her head rapidly turning her head to face me. “I don’t want to leave you. Please don’t make me.”
I release her hands and pull her face to mine. I kiss her quickly. Then I push her back.
“We have no other options. My shoulder’s fucked. I can’t fight more than one or two of them. I need you to go. I’ll be right behind you Carnie,” I try to assure her.
“No,” she says firmly as anger courses through my veins.
“Carnie I fuckin’ love you, but I can’t fight you on this. I need you to be safe okay? With my shoulder fucked I can’t hang on like you can. You’ll move quicker without me. I promise you I’m comin’. Get over there and wait for me,” I say holding her face inches from mine and watching her eyes.
“You love me?”
Fuck me. Of everything I just told her that’s what she hears?
“Yeah I do. Now get the fuck outta here. For me,” I tell her quickly.
She nods her head and I press one last kiss to her lips before I shove her off the couch. My eyes stay on Eric as she slowly moves through the room. I could kill the fucker with this blade. The idea sends a chill up my spine. I hold the blade in my hand and move to stand behind the door. I’ve always liked having the element of surprise on my side. I can hear him say to hurry the fuck up before his footsteps come back toward the door. The door shifts and he walks in.
“Shit,” he roars.
I know we don’t need the extra distraction of his boys coming in. I reach for him with my bad arm before he moves anymore. I’m holding him around his throat. I pull him back to my chest and bring the blade around to the front of it.
“I’d say I had a good time, but I really didn’t. Hope you realize just what you’ve sent your boys into,” I whisper in his ear.
His body trembles a little which only serves to excite me more as he asks, “What the fuck do you mean?”
“Did you really think you could just demand money from a group of bastards like us? Did you not do your research Eric? We’re called Soulless Bastards for a reason man.”
Before he can respond I slide the blade across his throat. I cut deep enough to kill, but just shallow enough for him to endure the pain for a while. He chokes on his blood. The muffled sounds make my dick hard. What a fucking waste of a life. I slowly lower his body to the floor being as quiet as possible. I close the door and lock the deadbolt before I look down at the motherfucker that almost ruined my girl.
“She was never yours to have Eric. She always had a mind of her own and a set of wings. You kept them clipped so that she couldn’t fly. Now I’m gonna love watchin’ her spread those fuckers and soar.”
He gasps for air as I step past him and rush to the bathroom. I cringe as I look at the bed he used to share with her. He lied to her there. He made her hate herself. Bastard.
I climb onto the fire escape and make my way down slowly. This fucked up shoulder is giving me hell. I’m still pretty pissed about it, but as soon as my feet hit the pavement I run. I jog close to the edge of the building and keep peeking around to make sure none of his assholes are there. When I don’t see any I start to move again, but then I hear it.
“Eric?”
Well shit. They found him quicker than I would have hoped. I pick up my pace and head inside the third complex just like I told Carnie to do. I take the stairs to my left and jog up to the third floor. I’m sucking in air when I find the room I sent her to and am praying that she actually went into it. I turn the handle, step into the dark room, and let my eyes adjust as I look for her.
“Carn?” She doesn’t answer. Fuck. “Baby girl you in here?”
That’s when I hear it. A muffled cry. My eyes jerk to the corner to find her curled into herself. I walk toward her when her head pops up. She stirs up so many emotions within me that I can barely keep them all straight. When my eyes meet hers there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I love this girl.
“You’re bleeding,” she says as she looks at my hand.
“It’s not mine. I know you have a past with him Carnie, and maybe you still loved him, but…” I let my sentence trail off not knowing how she might react to the fact that I just killed the man that she spent years of her life loving. The man she thought the world of is dead by my hands. Carnie slowly shoves herself off of the floor to walk toward me.
“I never realized what love was until I was with you. I know what I thought it was, but it wasn’t real. You’re real Viking. Whatever I feel when I’m with you is real,” she says which makes my heart clench. “I’m sorry that I messed up your life. It’s my fault he did that to your house. Your home.”
When she begins to cry uncontrollably I lose it. I grab her, pull her into my arms, and hold her as tightly as I can with my shoulder.
“You didn’t do shit but love me. No one has ever given me that Carnie. Not since my parents anyway. I don’t think you realize just how much that means to me.”
“What do we do now?”
“We gotta hang back in here for a while. They’ll have their boys scoutin’ the area in no time. After that we get to a phone and get someone to come pick us up,” I tell her breathing her in.