by Erin Trejo
“What are we going to do until then?” she purrs as she sniffles back her tears.
I chuckle and pull away from her long enough to look into her eyes and ask, “What did you have in mind?”
“We’re in a dark room. There’s no one around. Hmmm. I can think of a few possibilities.”
“Don’t forget I’m injured here. You’re gonna have to do all the work baby girl,” I tell her nodding toward my shoulder.
She smiles up at me and the soft light coming in through the window cascades around her.
“I think I can handle that.”
“Well in that case let me just check the door to make sure it’s locked up tight.”
I step back from her and turn to the door. After checking the lock and shoving an older dresser in front of it I turn back to see Carnie standing there in nothing. My eyes travel over her body and I admire the way she’s put on some weight lately. It fills her out nicely. Makes her more womanly and soft. Fuck my cock is straining to get out of my jeans and get at her. I take a few slow, deliberate steps toward her. She smiles at me.
“Can I get to work now?”
24
Carnie
“I’m really worried about that bone Viking. An x-ray can rule it out,” the doctor tells him as we sit in the clubhouse. His good hand is wrapped tightly around mine.
“No fuckin’ x-ray. Just patch me up doc. I’ll live,” he says looking at me with a grin.
The guys are all huddled around us watching and listening as Viking fills them in on what happened. They’re all pissed as hell, but someone is missing. Fin. Mason said he called him and his only response was voicemail. It kills me inside that I’ve hurt him this bad.
“Can we get some drinks?” Viking roars which makes everyone laugh.
The girls scurry off to get the drinks. The guys sit around waiting for the doctor to leave. I just sit silently next to Viking rethinking everything that’s happened. I was scared to death Eric would really follow through with his plan. I really thought I might never see Fin or Viking again. I didn’t question his motives. Eric was a different breed of man. He wasn’t like Viking. He couldn’t take no for an answer, but Viking was okay with a no.
Once the doctor finishes up Viking releases his grip on me. He heads toward the bar to grab a bottle of Jack before the door opens. Everyone freezes as we’re all still on edge. Fin walks in with Molly right behind him. I let out a sigh and stand up from my chair. His eyes catch on mine and there’s nothing to be said. Tears fill my eyes as I run to him. He moves toward me at the same time. He catches me when I leap into his arms. Hugging me tightly he keeps me pressed against him as I cry.
“Thank god you’re okay baby girl,” he whispers in my ear. I hang onto him as tightly as I possibly can. I never want to let him go.
“We need to talk Carnie.”
I nod my head when he goes to pull away. He grabs my hand in his. We both look over at Viking and he gives a slight nod before Fin pulls me down the hallway. He stops in front of one the rooms and opens the door, ushering me inside. I find my way to the bed and sit down on it as he runs his hand through his hair.
“I was scared to death when they called me Carnie. They told me Viking’s place blew up, and fuck I thought I had lost you,” he says which makes me sob even harder.
“They took us from there,” I tell him.
“Do you really care about him? He’s so much older than you. You know I’m not one to make a big deal about age, but fuck Carnie.”
“I know Fin. I know this isn’t what you wanted for me. It isn’t what I was looking for either. It just happened. I swear to you I was only trying to do what was best, but Viking’s different. He lets me see parts of him that I’m not sure many others ever get to. He understands me and knows what I want in life. He pushes me to do it. I love him Fin.”
Fin closes his eyes and sucks in a big breath. He’s silent for a long time before he opens his eyes to look at me.
“I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. I’ve tried all of my life to give you that. Somewhere along the line you grew up and I lost that connection to you,” he says.
“No. We have a connection Fin. You didn’t lose me. I lost myself. I found me again though. Viking reminded me of who I was. He pushes me to be what I want to be. He’s told me I should enroll in college.”
His eyes widen as he looks at me. “He did?” I nod my head and Fin walks closer to me and drops down on the bed next to me. “I’ve been so wrapped up in dealin’ with Molly that I didn’t see what Eric was doin’ to you. I missed it all until it was almost too late Carn. I’ll never do that to you again. I’m sorry that it happened to begin with. You’ve always been the most important person in the world to me, and I won’t let anyone come between us again.” He grabs me and pulls me into a hug.
“I want you to move on Fin. I’ll be okay. I promise. Molly needs you and I’m going to find my way again. Just like Viking said I needed to. I deserve that much don’t I?”
He pulls back and grins at me.
“You deserve a hell of a lot more than you’ve ever had baby girl. You deserve the world at your fingertips, and if Viking is the one to give that to you, then I’m all in. I don’t like our lifestyle with you in it, but I have no doubt that man will protect you from everything.”
“Well, he did take a bullet for me,” I tease him.
Fin shakes his head.
“Eric was shootin’ at you?”
“Yeah. Seems I’ve gotten too mouthy,” I say shrugging.
“Yes, you have. I just thank fuck that the bullet didn’t hit you.”
“Yeah, but I think it really fucked up his shoulder.”
That part makes me feel guilty as hell.
“He’s been shot before. He’ll live.”
Fin stands up and holds his hand out to me. I take it and let him pull me up. He then leads me to the door.
“What are we doing now?” I ask looking up at my big brother.
“We’re gonna have a little chat with the man my sister loves. Only seems fittin’ that I set out some ground rules.”
I can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out of me.
“What kinds of rules exactly?”
“I dunno. Takin’ a bullet for you seems like a good start though. If that bullet would have hit you instead I think we would have had a very different talk on our hands,” Fin says with a playful smile.
“I probably shouldn’t tell you what happened after that then.”
“What the fuck happened after that?” Fin snarls.
“We fucked in the janitor’s closet.”
Fins huffs but doesn’t stop walking. It’s funny watching his face when I talk about fucking Viking.
“You’re just tryin’ to get me to fuck up a cripple aren’t you?” laughter erupts out of both of us as we step into the main room.
I find Viking’s eyes on me from across the room.
“Jesus Christ I can see the fuckin’ look in his eyes from here,” Fin mumbles which makes me smile.
“What look?”
“The look that says he loves you. Go to your man Carnie.”
I walk away from Fin and head to Viking. I closely watch his face, his eyes, for any sign that I might be mistaking what he feels. I know what he told me, but it still feels off. When I’m within arm’s length he grabs me and pulls me against him.
“Does this mean the club knows?” I ask looking up at him to see his eyes dancing with laughter.
“They knew as soon as you stepped foot in that door all those years ago. I just made it official while you were talkin’ to Fin. You got a problem with that?” he asks and his alpha side is shining through.
I giggle, snuggle into his side, and reply, “Not at all.”
“Good. I need to talk to your brother.”
He kisses the top of my head, untangles from me, and moves swiftly toward Fin. Mason tosses his arm over my shoulders and stands tall next to me.
“They’ll work it o
ut darlin’. You’re probably too good for him, but I like the way he lights up when he’s around you.”
I sigh and lean into Mason wondering what the hell all of this means for us.
25
Viking
We pass the joint back and forth. There’s an uneasy silence dancing between us. I know he’s uncomfortable, so I break the ice.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen Fin. We started out with just playful flirtin’. The more I was with her the more I fell,” I admit to him.
Fin nods while looking off into the distance.
“She’s my family brother. She’ll all I got left and I cherish her. I know she’s an adult now and growin’ up and all that shit, but it’s hard for me to let go of the past.”
I understand what he’s saying. I really do, but that isn’t stopping me from loving my girl.
“She doesn’t belong in this life Viking. She’s better than we are. I made sure to raise her to be better than we were. She wants to teach. Fuckin’ teach kids man.”
“And she will. I’m not that little pretty boy Fin. I’m not gonna hold her back from what she wants. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna push her ass towards it. She needs to be who she was meant to be. I’m not standin’ in her way,” I tell him.
He turns to face me with a strange look on his face.
“Don’t you get it Viking? You can’t push her. She’s stronger than that. If she thinks there’s a chance of not bein’ with you then she won’t go. That’s just how she is.”
My chest tightens as I think that over. I wouldn’t let her do that. It’s not who I am either.
“If you’re askin’ me to break things off with her it’s not gonna happen. I can’t do that.”
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m askin’ here. I want her to go out and enjoy her life. I don’t want her to be stuck in the middle of this shit. I don’t want her gettin’ hurt,” Fin snaps.
He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it up. Blowing out a ring of smoke he says, “I know you wouldn’t hurt her on purpose, but fuck Viking. We’re men. We’re human and we’re in a goddamn MC. Shit happens. It always does and some of it is beyond our control. Just look at Molly. I can’t live with it if that shit was to happen to my sister.”
Fuck. I understand his point. I haven’t done the best job of protecting her lately. There’s a lot of fault on me in this situation. I should have been the one to walk away.
“I get it brother. I really do. I don’t want her hurt any more than you do, but this is our life. I’m a goddamn Soulless Bastard until the day I die and you put me under, brother. I’m never gonna be that corporate rich guy in a suit, man. I know what she deserves and I know I’m not it. I just can’t let her go like that. I can give her space. I can let her have her freedom. But completely let her go? It’s not gonna happen.”
Fin nods and blows out a ring of smoke.
“You said you wanted her to go to school. You okay with lettin’ her go off on her own to do that?”
Fuck me. I didn’t think of that. I want what’s best for her.
“Yeah, but I’m not stayin’ away completely. She’ll have her freedom Fin.”
“And if she meets someone else while she’s at school?” he asks.
Why the fuck is he busting my ass on this? Does he really not want to see me with Carnie? Is that what’s going on here?
“I’ve thought about that too. If she does then I’ll let her go. I will respect her choices. I’m not forcin’ her into anything she doesn’t want with me. But, just so we’re clear here, I want her, but I’m not forcin’ her to stay,” I tell him honestly.
“That’s all I can ask for. I just want her to strive to be somethin’. She doesn’t deserve to be a nothin’ like me,” Fin admits.
“You aren’t nothin’ Fin. She might be growin’ up, but she still needs you. Like you said, she’s your family.”
He nods his head and looks around before he flicks the cigarette through the air.
“You’re right. Let’s go check on our girl,” he says slapping a hand on my shoulder. I grin and turn to leave when he stops me with a look over his shoulder. “I don’t wanna hear about you fuckin’ her in closets either man.”
I can’t stop the laughter that erupts out of me. Fin holds the door open and we both walk back in. You can hear a party revving up as soon as you walk in door. Fin grins at me over his shoulder. As soon as we step into the main room all hell breaks loose. The girls are dancing and singing. The guys are all hanging out drinking and talking. This is the perfect example of us as a family. Brothers. Fin and I lean against the wall to take it all in.
“Heard your house went down in flames?” he asks leaning closer so I can hear him over the music.
“Burnt to the ground from what Mason said.”
“We’ll rebuild it Viking. All of us.”
I tilt my head to the side to look at him. His eyes are serious.
“I appreciate that Fin. There’s a lot we need to talk about. I don’t even know if I wanna rebuild it. It’s my past and maybe that’s where it needs to stay,” I tell him honestly.
I turn my head and watch the girls. When I see Carnie everyone else just fades away. Her body sways to the music and her hands are in the air. She’s so carefree and it reminds me just how young she really is. She spins around, but when she looks my way she stops. Her smile could brighten up the darkest night, but right now she’s the brightness in my world. She moves from the crowd and comes to a stop in front of me. She glares up at me with wide eyes.
“What’s the look?” I ask her over the music.
“We have nowhere to go,” she hollers back.
I shrug, grab her around the waist, pull her into me, and say, “Doesn’t matter. I got all I need right here.” I lean down and kiss her. Her hands snake around my neck and her nails graze over my skin. Shivers race down my spine. The need to hold her and keep her all for myself is overwhelming. Saying I could let her go if she ever found someone else was probably a mistake. I can’t imagine what the hell I’d even do without her.
“Take me to your room,” she whispers in my ear.
I nod my head and grab her hand in mine. We head down the hallway a little quicker than I need to, but after the day we’ve had I want to get her undressed, naked, and fucked before we fall asleep.
“You in a hurry?” she teases when I kick the door closed and reach for her clothes.
I strip her naked and make short work of my own clothes before I walk her to the bed. I drop onto my back and the bed bounces beneath me. Carnie turns around as her eyes pierce me to the bone. I casually jerk my head to let her know I’m ready for her. She smiles even bigger as she walks toward me and climbs on the end of the bed. I watch her as her tits sway. Carnie straddles me and slowly slips down my length. I growl and bring my hands up to her hips.
“You’re gonna kill me one of these days,” I grunt as she takes me deeper. My body is tense and ready for release even though she just mounted up.
“Oh come on old man. You can handle little ole me. Can’t you?” she teases with that light in her eyes.
With one quick motion I have her around the waist and rolled over onto her back. She squeals before she looks up at me.
“You want me to show you what this old man can do?” I ask as I thrust inside of her.
Carnie arches her back and her lips part on a moan. I rotate my hips and pump into her frantically. Each new thrust sends me deeper into her. Carnie cries out my name and her nails dig into my skin. I fucking love every drop of it, of her. For as long as I’ve been alive I didn’t think I’d find my match in a woman. Yet here she is surprising me at every turn. I look down at her with her closed eyes and parted lips and I know I’ve found my match. It’s only going to make it that much harder to let her go when I have to. For now though? She’s mine. I’m going to show her just how much she belongs to me. She looks so fucking perfect like this. Happy even.
26
Carnie
“This is stupid,” I mumble under my breath. I don’t know why he’s making me do this shit.
“The fuck it is. Shut up and look through them,” he snaps at me.
I lift the pile of papers in my hand and carelessly flip through them. Viking notices my lack of attention.
“Look at them like you mean it Carn. Jesus Christ. You want me to spank your ass right here in front of everyone?”
That perks me right up. I smirk over at him which makes him chuckle. The smile on his face is so goddamn perfect that I hate to ruin it.
“Maybe I don’t want to go anymore Viking. Did you ever think of that?” I ask as I drop the papers back onto the table and cross my arms defiantly.
Yep. I’ll act like a brat. Viking grabs the pile and holds them out in front of me.
“Yes you do. Stop with the bullshit and just look.”
I grab the stack of papers and glance down at them again. They’re all for colleges. He has me looking at colleges. I can’t believe that I’m even considering this after everything that’s happened. He and I are so close now even though it’s only been a few months. I don’t want to ruin that, but for some reason Viking keeps pushing me to go. It makes me worry that he isn’t as into me as I thought he was. He tells me he loves me. He tells me that we’re going to make things work with us, but I find that really hard to believe since he has so much going on at the club and I’ll be away at school.
“The University of Miami is the closest,” I tell him setting the stack back on the table again.
Viking sighs, runs his hand through his hair, and replies, “I didn’t ask you what was the closest. I asked you to pick the one that fits what you need.” His eyes are tired. He’s had me up all day looking at colleges. Even some that were out of state, which I flat out refused.
“They all offer the classes I need. This one is the closest,” I smart off.
In the matter of seconds Viking has my wrists in a death grip as he’s yanking me from the chair. He drags me down the hall so quickly it all blurs. He spins me and pins me against the wall. His breathing is rapid and his eyes are on fire. I love pushing him to this point. I love seeing that spark of life inside of him.