ACCIDENTAL UNICORN, THE

by Cassidy, Dakota

  He had a feeling this wasn’t a good sign.

  Chapter 12

  The instant he felt the hands around his neck—male hands, he discovered, by the grip of them—was the instant he came out swinging, but it was like hitting a rock when his fist met the guy’s jaw. He reached up and tried to pry the man’s fingers from around his neck, but it was like trying to break the grip of a steel band.

  As Oliver’s eyes bulged, he fought to remember what he knew about getting free from someone stronger. As the oxygen to his brain decreased, and his feet lifted off the ground, Oliver struggled, but he managed to lift his arms up enough to use his thumbs in an attempt to gouge the guy’s eyes out.

  The wind tore at his bare chest, his feet hung like icy stumps from his legs, but just as he pressed his fingers against the man’s eyes, there was a blur of sound and noise.

  “Staaahp!” he heard Vinnie cry out. Somehow, as small as she was, she jumped on the man’s back and got her hands around his neck, which deterred the maniac for no more than a few seconds before he was squeezing Oliver’s neck again. “Let go!” she screamed, latching onto his hair and yanking so hard, his head jerked back.

  Oliver saw her knuckles, white and straining as she latched onto his hair, but that didn’t make him stop. However, it did make him roar his discontent and squeeze harder, but this time with one hand as he reached up behind him and grabbed Vinnie’s hair.

  She screamed so loud, it reverberated in Oliver’s ears, infuriating him so much that, even though his hands and arms were becoming numb, he managed to grab at the madmen’s shoulder and sink his fingers into his flesh.

  Yet, that did nothing but make the man laugh, leaving Oliver helpless in his grip. He was no small man by any stretch of the imagination, and he could certainly hold his own, but whoever this was, he was insanely strong.

  Though, note to self: not as strong as Nina and Marty, because here came the Calvary—and that’s when everything went sideways.

  He was still conscious enough to see Nina, her dark hair like a silky cape around her head, flying behind her, as she launched herself at the man who held him captive while Marty, in her silky nightgown, virtually plucked Vinnie from harm’s way in one simultaneous act of harmonious rescue.

  Oliver dropped to the ground, gasping and choking for air as Vinnie and Marty rushed to him. His throat ached and his heart pounded in his chest as he watched Nina drag whomever she had in her clutches into the garage as though she were dragging an empty plastic bag.

  Marty threw her hand out and yanked him upward. “Come on, Oliver. Let’s get you inside. It’s freezing. Can you walk?”

  He coughed and sputtered, but managed a nod. Then he looked to Vinnie, her hair flying around her face in the gusts of icy wind, her eyes wide with fear as she tucked her hands into her checked flannel pajama bottoms and shivered.

  Oliver extended a hand to her, and she took it, her fingers like ice. “Are you okay, Vinnie?”

  Her eyes, the terror slowly turning to concern, looked into his. “Don’t worry about me; are you okay? He really had a hold of you. I couldn’t get him to stop.”

  “C’mon, you two, let’s get you inside,” Marty directed, attempting to usher them into the house, but Oliver wanted a piece of whoever this was.

  He shook his head and stalked toward the garage, but Marty tapped his arm. “Oliver, not a good idea. Let us handle whoever that is.”

  “With all due respect, Marty,” he seethed, fighting to keep his temper in check, “whoever the hell that is, he had me in a death grip. Swear, I thought it was over. I want to know who the hell that is and have him prosecuted to the fullest extent!”

  He didn’t bother to listen to her rebuttal. Instead, he let go of Vinnie’s hand and stomped toward the garage with the two women in tow. He didn’t care how cold he was, he didn’t care how ridiculous he probably looked. He wanted blood.

  Not only had the man almost killed Oliver, he’d tried to hurt Vinnie.

  That enraged him. It might be irrational, but she was nothing more than the size of a curvy minute, and with the kind of strength this shit had, he could have done some serious damage to someone who was half his size.

  “Oliver!” Marty shouted, but he kept right on ignoring her, his feet clapping against the garage floor.

  When he entered the garage, his eyes flew to the man Nina had in her grip. “Who the fuck are you?” he roared as he reached around Nina and tried to grab for the guy.

  But Nina stopped him by grabbing his shoulders and literally setting him behind her before turning around, her eyes slits of coal in her face.

  “Oliver! Calm your fucking shit, man. Let me handle this,” she hissed, and then she grabbed the guy by his shirt.

  The man, pale and shaking, his dark hair cropped short, looked no older than fifteen. He certainly wasn’t a very big guy, but the way Oliver’s throat felt after that iron grip, he could attest he had the strength of ten men.

  “Shut the goddamn garage door, Marty, and come meet Ezekiel. A risk-taking motherfucker who likes to get his ass kicked by a chick. Isn’t that right, Ezekiel?” Nina cooed, leaning down to leer in his face as he cringed and shrank in her grip.

  “What?” Oliver said, stunned at how small he truly was. “I don’t understand.”

  Nina gave the guy a violent shake and dropped him on top of an old cooler Oliver used to take fishing. She pointed down at him. “Sit. Stay. Move, I rip off your balls, grind them up, make pâté and have them for lunch on some crackers. You got that?”

  “Who is he?” Vinnie asked, her voice trembling as she shivered.

  Marty looked down at him, his lanky legs splayed out before him, and shook her head. “He’s just an overgrown kid, Nina.”

  “Nah. He’s no kid. He might look like one, the crusty motherfucker, but he’s older than me, aren’t you, Ezekiel?”

  “I’ll kill you!” he hissed, flashing his fangs the same way Nina had yesterday to prove she was a vampire.

  Nina leaned way into him, her voice husky and filled with dark menace. “The fuck you say, Dink?” She jabbed a lean finger in his face. “You’ll do what now? Kill me? Me? How’re you gonna do that when you’re dead? Because trust and believe, I will light your ass on fire with a rope of garlic around your neck so fucking thick, it’ll make your eyeballs pop right the fuck out of your wee head, and not a single soul in the clan will protest your fucking death. Now, talk, or I get the gasoline and a match. What the fuck are you doing here and how did you find out about this?”

  Oliver’s eyes flew wide open in surprise. He even made an effort to stop Nina from hurting the kid, but Marty intervened.

  “No,” she said sternly. “This is vampire business, Oliver. He’s gone against the strict code all vampires have. No violence against humans. He has to be punished.”

  Suddenly, all the wind in Oliver’s sails evaporated, and as Vinnie threw the blanket he used when he went camping around his shoulders, he gulped when he looked to Marty. “Vampire business?”

  “Vampire business,” she said firmly with a nod. “They have laws and rules the same as everyone else, Oliver, and he can be punished the same as any other lawbreaker.”

  “But…” He didn’t know what to say. Ezekiel looked like a kid in high school.

  But Vinnie sidled up to him and grabbed his hand. “Don’t let his youthful appearance fool you, Oliver. Nina’s well into her forties now, but she looks like she’s twenty, right? Same with Marty. She doesn’t look a day over thirty, but she’s actually—”

  “Thirty?” Marty squawked with feigned horror, planting her hands on her hips and glaring at Vinnie. “Why does Nina look twenty and I look thirty? I’m younger than she is by like a year, I think.” Then she shook her head and wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know. I stopped counting years a long time ago, after I was turned.”

  Vinnie gave her a sheepish glance and an apology. “Sorry. You both look great is the point. They don’t age the way humans do. Since they wer
e turned, they stopped aging. They’ll never look any older than they do right now. Which means, this guy could be a hundred, for all we know.”

  Oliver blinked down at her and frowned. He had so much to learn. “Will that happen to me, too?”

  But Vinnie didn’t have time to answer, because Nina tipped Ezekiel over backward and put her foot on his throat. “Where the fuck did you find out about Oliver, fucknuts? Say it, or I’m going to wipe your ass all up and down this garage floor.”

  “Fuuuck you!” he screamed at her, his pale face contorted with rage.

  Ooooh. This guy really was crazy. He might be a vampire, too, but Oliver got the feeling that between them, Nina was the badder ass and she meant what she said—which made him wonder.

  Should he hide the garlic, because he was pretty sure he had some in the fridge. That would make him an accessory to murder. He wanted to know what was going on as much as the next guy, but he didn’t want to kill anyone over it.

  Nina ground the heel of her work boot into the flesh of Ezekiel’s neck without thinking twice. “Marty? Call Greg. Call your man, too, before I eat this fuckwad’s face off and he has to live eternally with a goddamn chewed-off face!”

  Almost as if Nina had asked Marty to call Satan, his face changed and he held up a hand. “Wait! Greg? Like, Greg Statleon? You’re gonna fucking call Greg Statleon?”

  Nina gave him a coy pout, but she didn’t seem at all concerned he knew who Greg was. “Whassamatter, Ezekiel. You afraid? Tell me what you fucking know and where you found out about it and maybe I won’t call him.”

  He glared at her with hatred so real, Oliver felt it. “How the fuck do you know Greg Statleon?”

  “He’s my life mate, you little asshole.”

  Ezekiel’s face fell, but unfortunately, he decided to double down. “Call him—and fuck you!”

  Nina flicked her fingers at his head and spat, “Then hold on to your skateboard, wank. He’ll be here in five. If I were you, I’d start praying now.”

  Marty gabbed both Vinnie and Oliver by the arms and said, “We’d better get inside. You don’t want to see this.”

  But Oliver wouldn’t budge as he gave another glance over his shoulder at Ezekiel. “She’s not going to… I mean, listen, yes, he almost killed me, and probably would have hurt Vinnie pretty bad, too. But I don’t want to see him die, Marty,” he hissed.

  Marty gripped his arm with fingers that sank into his flesh, her eyes, once so warm, now hard chips of blue. “And I’m going to say this one more time, Oliver. You will come inside the house and let the vampires deal with the vampire. They don’t make a choice like that rashly, but I can’t promise this will err on the side of Ezekiel, either. We don’t know anything about him or his past behavior. We do know he was willing to kill you—probably for that horn. All of this is in an effort to keep you safe. Now, I won’t say it again, but I’m not opposed to using force if I have to. Go inside. Now.”

  Vinnie took his hand and gripped it, pulling him toward the door leading to the kitchen, and this time, upon hearing Marty’s tone, he didn’t protest.

  As they stepped inside, Oliver heard Ezekiel’s hoarse cry, “You can’t do anything to me, you stupid bitch! He’s not even fucking human!”

  And that statement sent a swish of chills down his spine.

  Arch and Darnell looked at him from across the table as they sipped their coffee with sleepy, sympathetic eyes. The garage had suddenly become very quiet, and it was all Oliver could do not to go see what was happening.

  Greg, and Marty’s husband, Keegan, had arrived two minutes after Nina had threatened they would, and then everything had gone hushed.

  A little too hushed for his comfort. Surely if garlic and fire were involved it would be noisier…

  Arch had stirred when he heard the commotion, and Darnell had awakened to keep watch in case anyone else showed up tonight, wanting a piece of Oliver. Carl had been in tow, book in his duct-taped hand and Baloney in his pajama-top pocket.

  When he could no longer stand the waiting, Oliver pushed his chair back from the table, but he found a gentle pale green hand on his shoulder. “No…stay. Please, Ol—Ol—”

  “Ol-iv-er,” Darnell interjected with a broad smile at Carl. “Say it with me, buddy. Ready?”

  Carl nodded with a smile, opening his mouth to mimic Darnell and, in unison with the demon, he said, “Ol-iv-er.”

  Darnell held up a beefy hand and bounced his head in approval. “Niiiice! Up top, brother.”

  Carl leaned over and gave the demon a high-five before sitting down next to Oliver and patting his arm with his duct-taped hand. “It is…okay. Prom…promise.”

  Oliver couldn’t help but smile at this sweet boy who was so fiercely devoted to these people. He genuinely liked Carl, and how kind he was to everyone. He was nothing like one would expect. Nothing at all.

  Oliver patted his hand with a gentle thump. “It’s okay, Carl. I promise not to cause trouble.”

  “The boy is correct, Master Oliver,” Arch said, sipping his tea. “They are nothing if not fair, but this man came to harm you. They wouldn’t be doing their jobs if they didn’t handle this accordingly. Please don’t fret, sir. All will be well.”

  Everyone was sitting around as though they weren’t contemplating setting a guy on fire right out in his garage. “But…”

  Darnell rested his round, cheerful face in his hands. “Look, Oliver. You’re a good guy. Old Darnell can tell ya mean well, but this ain’t like the world you live in no more. Bad stuff happens here, too. Stuff you can’t even in your wildest dreams. Way worse than in the human world. If you don’t want someone hackin’ that thing off yer head, they have to protect you. That horn ain’t gettin’ any smaller. You gotta be looked after.”

  Oliver’s hand went instantly to his forehead to find the circumference of his alicorn did, indeed, feel bigger.

  Shit.

  Darnell grinned at him. “Get used to this kinda crazy, because you in now. There’s mostly no gettin’ out. Not that I’ve seen anyways. But right here, right now? These are all good people. I promise you. So let it ride, okay?”

  Oliver took a sip of his tea, but he was having trouble letting it ride. Still, he took Darnell’s advice and stayed in his seat until he heard Wanda’s voice come from the garage.

  “Arch?” she asked, trailing into the kitchen, her face flushed, her hand on her hip as she hobbled to the chair. “Would you be a love and pour me some tea? I don’t think I can stand up one more second. This child is truly sucking every last ounce of energy I have left like a straw in a cup of milk.”

  Oliver hopped up instantly and pulled the chair out for her, almost afraid to ask what was going on in his garage. But he was unable to help himself because every time he saw that kid’s face, he felt riddled with guilt.

  Clearing his throat, Oliver asked, “What’s happening out there, Wanda?”

  Wanda sighed, and then she yawned as Arch set a steaming cup of tea in front of her, clearly very unconcerned about Ezekiel’s well-being.

  “He’s not giving up the name of whoever told him about you. So it’s about to be very uncomfortable for him.”

  Oliver clenched his fists to keep from saying anything, but in reality, he reminded himself he was virtually helpless anyway. He couldn’t stop them from doing whatever their culture required. They not only outnumbered him, but even Nina was stronger than he’d ever be.

  Wanda leaned over and rubbed her shoulder against his. “I see those wheels turning, Oliver. They’re not out there murdering him. At least I don’t think so. Do you smell burning garlic?”

  His mouth fell open until Wanda burst out laughing. “I’m kidding, Oliver! Listen, Nina’s all threats and such, but she’d never really murder anyone unless her or one of us was in imminent danger. We’d all do that for each other, and I won’t lie—we have. But it was never without reason. As in, our lives or a client’s life was on the line. Stop behaving as though we’re a bunch of mindless hea
thens. Nina was just threatening him. She was doing what she does best. Behave horridly. You’ll get used to it.”

  His shoulders sagged and remorse hit him directly between the eyes. He was being rude with his assumptions. He had no right to judge a world he knew nothing about.

  “I’m sorry, Wanda. I didn’t mean to make it seem as though you all haven’t gone to bat for me…it’s just…”

  Wanda looked him directly in the eye. “It’s just that he looks twelve. Look, we were human once, too, Oliver. I get it. Some of the things in the vampire culture, or even things in a pack of werewolves, will upset you. No need to apologize. But we can’t have paranormals running around doing unsavory things to humans. Not only do we risk being caught by humans, but there has to be a strict code of ethics just by virtue of the powers we have.”

  Oliver blew out a long held breath.

  Wanda gave him a sympathetic look. “Ezekiel will be punished, no doubt, just like any other human would be punished for assaulting someone. But I highly doubt they’d kill him for what he did. However, none of that changes the fact that he’s not telling us who told him about you. That’s beyond dangerous for all of us. Vinnie included. You’re going to have to trust that we know what we’re doing, okay? Don’t feel sorry for a guy who’s two hundred years old and doesn’t know enough not to threaten a human.”

  His eyes went wide. “Two hundred? Is that a joke?”

  “Not a fucking joke, dude,” Nina said, entering the kitchen. “He’s old enough to fucking know better, that’s for sure.”

  “Any progress, Mistress Nina?“ Arch asked, fighting a yawn.

  “Nope. Greg and Keegan are hauling that shitbird back to the elders of the clan. Let them deal with his ass.”

  A thought occurred to Oliver then. “Hey, why don’t you do to him what you did to Mikey? Just erase his memory.”

  “Because he’s a damn vampire, Columbo, and he knows how to block that shit. Otherwise, we’d be a bunch of fucking vampires wandering around not knowing we were GD vampires.”