Paying for College - The Novel

by Kenneth Szulczyk

  Chapter 13

  Brothers, I hadn’t spoken to Phaedra in days but her dad, the awesome dean, had invited me to join the family. See, I knew I would win the Dean over. When I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I hate to say it, and I despise arrogant people, but I looked snazzy, ready to rub elbows with the university elite. I showered and shaved and wore a short-sleeve button shirt and left the shirttails untucked and draped over my Levi blue jeans.

  As I slapped on some hot cologne while staring at the mirror, I studied the face staring back me. Then I nodded a badass greeting to myself.

  I walked the forty-five minutes to the Dean’s house. How could I miss the party? Walking up the familiar staircase to the hillside park and approaching Phaedra’s house, I never seen so many cars parked in a small neighborhood, the guests parked cars on both sides and around the cul-de-sac at the end of the street.

  I sauntered up the steps and rang the doorbell.

  Dean Tremaine opened the door. At first, he looked surprised, and then he said, “Hello Jax. I had hoped you would have no troubles finding the house.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  The Dean moved to the side and made a sweeping motion with his arm, “Please, come in.”

  I walked into the luxurious living room, where numerous students and professors stood in hodgepodge groups debating and challenging each other, trying to show off their mental acumen.

  The Dean closed the door and led me to the kitchen, “Please help yourself to some refreshments.”

  “Thank you.” I looked around the kitchen and finally approached a large, center island tabletop covered with trays and plates of every delicious food imaginable.

  Brothers, so much saliva dripped from my mouth, I could put out a house fire. Spread out in front of my eyes was a smorgasbord of delectable grub with plates of crab and lobster stuff mushrooms, pot stickers, asparagus wrapped with crispy prosciutto, Indonesian satay, dates stuffed with cheese and wrapped with crunchy bacon, and stuff I didn’t even recognize. I honestly didn’t know where to start, so I grabbed a plastic plate and grabbed a portion of everything.

  The Dean patted me on the back, “Enjoy yourself.” Then he returned to the living room.

  An older student wearing a bow tie and wire-rimmed glasses and sprouting a thin, spotty beard, walked into the kitchen, “Hello. I see you found the food.”

  “Yeah, the foods great,” I said between bites as I shoved the esculent morsels into my mouth, “Sure beats the dog food the university serves in the cafeterias.”

  “When the Dean throws a party, he doesn’t waste any expense.”

  “Amen, brother.”

  The student approached and extended his hand for a handshake, “I apologize, but I haven’t seen you around before. You must be a new honor student.”

  I shook his hand, “Of course I am. I just started my first semester.”

  “My name’s Mark.”

  “Hello, just call me Jax.”

  “You must be a really good student for the Dean to take such an immense liking to you, so quickly.”

  “Of course, I am. I‘m one of the best students in the School of Business.”

  “You gotta be. It takes a long time for the Dean to like and accept anyone new.”

  “Well, one of the tricks I learned is a person must know how to talk to people. I used my words and charm to have the Dean purring like a pussy cat in my hands.”

  “Wow, you must’ve said some magical words. The Dean has spoken to me a couple of times, and I’ll graduate with top honors next semester.”

  “Well, you’ve just gotta penetrate his pompous exterior.” I leaned closer and whispered, “And you never know. He may even become my father in law.”

  Mark’s eyes widened, as he shook his head, “No way.”

  I grabbed a cup of ice tea and sipped it. Then I grabbed a dessert spoon and a wine glass filled with zabaglione mixed with raspberries and sliced strawberries. I shoveled one spoonful after another and let the exquisite dessert danced wildly on my taste buds.

  “That dessert must be really good, the way you scarfed it down.”

  After licking my spoon clean, “The custard’s so creamy, so silky, I’ll probably have another two or three.”

  I placed the empty wine glass onto the table and added, “Besides, life can lead to some interesting things.” I picked up a slice of Swiss cheese and started nibbling on it.

  “That may be true in some cases, but I don’t think so in this case.”

  I almost choked on the cheese, “Why not?”

  “I think Phaedra has her eye on someone else.”

  “No way. I know she likes me. She’s my girl.”

  “I don’t think so. I am sure she likes someone else. I saw her go out the back door with the hockey captain about ten minutes ago. They were holding hands.”

  “Come again?”

  “Yeah. I think I saw them together earlier.”

  “Oh come on. They’re just friends.”

  “Really. When do friends hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes with a dreamy look?”

  I felt molten lava pulsate through the veins of my face, “Look, friend, you need to watch what you say.”

  “Okay. Don’t get bent out of shape. Just go see for yourself.”

  “Okay, I shall humor you and check it out myself. Where’d you see them last?”

  “I think they were headed to the swimming pool in the back yard.”

  “I’ll prove to you that they’re just friends.”

  “Sure, they’re great friends. I think I even saw a little smeared lipstick on the hockey captain’s cheek.”

  I turned a dark crimson as the lava heated my face another thousand degrees.

  Mark swallowed his food hard and almost choked, “Sorry. Perhaps that was the wrong couple.”

  “You said you saw them near the swimming pool.” I pointed at the back door, “Right out there?”

  Marked nodded his head up and down.

  “Then I’ll go talk to her.”

  I placed my plate on the edge of the counter and went out the backdoor.

  Numerous lanterns illuminated the backyard while steam mists rose from the heated swimming pool.

  I spotted a shadow of the couple sitting at a dark spot near the patio table as they exchanged a passionate kiss.

  I refused to believe that Phaedra was over there in the arms of another man, so I stomped to the patio table.

  As I approached, my heart stopped for a second as I recognized Phaedra’s familiar shape.

  Brothers, what could I say? I clenched my hands into fists and stopped five feet away, “Hey Phaedra, I leave you alone for two minutes, and you’re already kissing another dude.”

  The two lovers jerked away from each other. Then Phaedra screamed, “Jax! What’re you doing here?”

  “You’re father invited to the party.”

  Steve said, “Who’s the dweeb?”

  I yelled, “Steve, shut up.”

  Steve jumped out of the chair and clenched his fists. Then Phaedra sprang from her chair and stood between us.

  “Steve, you need to sit your ass back down and think about how to win some hockey games. Stay away from other men’s girlfriends.”

  Steve screamed, “She’s not your girl.” He stepped closer while Phaedra tried to push him back. Steve added, “Phaedra, this guy needs to leave, so I’ll help you take out the trash.”

  “Well come on then. Just don’t hide behind a girl. You pussy!”

  Steve circled around Phaedra fast and ran at me.

  I stepped to the side while extending my left foot out.

  Brothers, you should have seen it. Steve tripped, went airborne, and splashed head first into the pool.

  I turned to look at Steve and said, “See, that’s why we don’t win any games. You have no hand-eye coordination.”

  Phaedra screamed, “Steve. Steve.”

  I turned and walked to the house and entered the kitchen
.

  Mark stood near the counter where I had left him. He turned when I entered the kitchen. He quickly looked down at the counter again.

  “Thanks for the information. I did find her.”

  He looked at me, “I hope everything is okay.”

  “Yup, everything’s fine. Like I told you, she’s just friends with the hockey captain. Nothing more, nothing less. Besides, I heard the hockey captain is gay.”

  Mark laughed, “That’s not the word around campus.”

  I grabbed a new plastic plate and added a mound of food to it, “What’s the word around campus?”

  “He has a long line of women waiting to jump into his Mercedes.”

  “That may be true, but that’s just for show. He doesn’t want the people to know his true sexual orientation.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Well, at least I solved one mystery tonight. I understand why we don’t win any hockey games.”

  Mark squinted his eyes, “Uh. I don’t understand.”

  “That’s inside information.” I carried my plate of food to the living room.

  Dean Tremaine looked in my direction, and then he approached me. “Have you spoken with my daughter?”

  I stopped and just glared at the dean.

  “As I have already told you, young man, you have a dim future ahead of you. Steve can provide a better life for my little girl.”

  I looked into the Dean’s eyes, “Thank you for the wonderful evening.“ I stomped to the front door while the Dean burst into laughter.

  Everyone in the room became quiet.

  I opened the door and walked out. Of course, brothers, I gently closed the door behind me. What could I do? He’s the Dean of the business school. If I had punched him in the face or screamed obscenities at him in front of the students and faculty, he could have me thrown out of the university. I want to deny him that pleasure of signing my expulsion form. Then I smiled. That’s right. Perhaps I should kill the prick.

  I wandered to the hillside park, and I sat on a bench and ate that plate of food. Come on brothers. I know pride dictates that I should throw the food away, but it may be a while before I sample food of this caliber again.

  After I had finished eating, I looked at the city sprawled out in front of me during twilight.

  Phaedra ran to me, panting, “Jax. Jax.”Then she sat next to me. I’m sorry Jax. I should’ve told you earlier.”

  I just sat there.

  Phaedra looked at me while I looked away. “Jax, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  I looked at her, “Well, you did an excellent job of ripping my heart out of my chest, stomping on it several times, and tossing it back in.”

  “Jax, I wanted to tell you that day at the mall, but you had to give me that expensive gift.”

  “You didn’t have to accept the gift. Or the free skirt from the store.”

  Phaedra sat there quietly.

  I continued, “You must like riding around in his nice Mercedes.”

  “Jax, it was never about the car.”

  “Then you must like watching him play hockey?”

  “Phew. I hate sports.”

  “Then what does he have that I can’t give you.”

  Phaedra swallowed and looked away.

  “See, you can’t even te-“

  “You’re boring Jax.”

  “What?”

  She looked at me again, “You don’t do anything exciting.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Well, Steve’s exciting.”

  “I see. I didn’t realize Steve was so terri-bad. What makes that so exciting?”

  Phaedra looked away.

  I continued, “That’s the way it goes. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Like one night, we waited in his car. And.”

  “Please tell.”

  “He ran inside the convenience store and stole two bottles of vodka.”

  “Gee, I guess that’s exciting. And I just thought he was the dumb jock type.”

  “He’s not dumb.”

  “You’re right. I guess that’s a little crazy. If he got caught, the university would kick him off the team. Maybe expel him from the university.”

  “Jax, you’re a nice guy. It’s just, you’re too nice. And it drives me crazy.”

  “Too nice. That sounds ominous, but I didn’t know I needed a criminal record to date you.”

  “I’m not asking you to be a criminal. Just be a little more crazy, a little more fun. Then many girls will fall for you.”

  “Thank you for the advice.”

  “Jax, I must go.”

  “Give my regards to your dad and Steve. Tell Steve I’m sorry about the incident.”

  Phaedra looked at me again, “Don’t be angry with me.”

  “I’m not.”

  Phaedra left, and I remained sitting on the bench overlooking the city.

  Brothers, women can be so crazy. She goes ape shit for a guy who steals a couple of bottles of booze from a store. I’ve done stuff these last few months that would place me three decades behind bars. Then the corners of my eyes became watery.

  I started to think about my dad. I babbled, “I’m sorry dad. I know you wanted me to do something with my life. I know you would be disappointed in me because I became a dirt bag thief.” I folded my hands and looked up to the heavens, “But dad, my generation has it much tougher than yours. Don’t worry dad. I’ll make something of myself one day. Then I’ll make amends for all my wrongs.”