Chloe said slowly, “Girl, that is deep. I didn’t think about it that way.”
“Girl, yeah, they want us to seem like the bad one. They want us to feel bad. So they try to blind us with their manipulations. We cannot fall for that shit. No way in hell we are going to get caught up. Hell, no,” I said, arching my eyebrows.
“Hell, nah, we are not getting caught up. Then they will be moving on, living their lives and we stuck with problems and a baby. Shoot, twins run on both sides of my family. Most definitely, I’ll pass. Thank you, Bree-Bree for listening, being here and knocking some sense into my head,” Chloe said.
I laughed, “It was knowledge knocking some sense in both of our heads. Shay’s situation knocked the wind out of both of us. When we think about having sex, we need to think about what Shay’s going through. And you are more than welcome! Girl, we have to keep each other grounded.”
“Yes, we do, and no problem. That’s what sisters are for! And, yeah, I wish the best for Shay. Well, I’ll see you at school later,” Chloe, said as she waved her hand.
I waved my hand too, “Yeah, I need to get out of bed and get myself together. I will see you in a couple of hours when I go to cheerleading practice. In the meantime, do not do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Chloe smirked, “Oh gosh, if that was the case I would have a really boring life. I have to have a little excitement. See you soon.”
Chloe blew a couple of kisses.
“Ciao, Bree-Bree.”
“See you soon.”
I stretched my entire body. It felt so good as I literally rolled out of bed and landed on top of everything that was piled on the floor.
I squinted my eyes to look at the calendar. Time goes by so fast. This past July my brother Luke moved out early for college. Wow, now it’s the last week in August. Goodness! My parents are putting the finishing touch on my room. I’m loving it so far! It is in the attic and I will have my own privacy. Since Summer will be moving up there after me when she starts high school, she and I had to compromise on the layout. I didn’t care, but she wanted a bay window. I must admit it’s kind of cute. I can’t wait because I will be moving in in a couple of weeks!
Ouch! I stepped on my lip gloss top. Dang it, I just got sticky dark red plum lip gloss all over my carpet. I have to try to get it up before my mom sees it.
Knock. Knock. “Breana,” Mom said.
As I was rubbing my foot I told her, “Come in.”
Smelling like a bed of flowers my mom said, “Good morning, sweetie.”
My mommy looks beautiful, like always. She’s dressed in a navy blue pants suit with a pretty pink blouse and looking like the boss. I love to see my mommy’s hair fall in her face when she talks and she looks so innocent when she brushes it back. Her skin is so dark-toned and moist she looks like she bathes in shea butter lotion.
Still rubbing my foot, I said, “Good morning, Mommy.”
My mom looked curious and asked, “What are you doing?”
As I was rubbing my foot with one hand and trying to get the lip gloss up with the other, I said, “I made a mistake and stepped on my lip gloss and it stained the carpet. I’m trying to get it up.”
As she looked down and dusted herself off she said, “Oh honey, don’t worry about that. Your dad and I are going to take up the carpet when you move out. We’re turning your room into a guest room with wood floors.”
“Oh, okay. Pretty cool,” I replied.
My phone started to ring. I’m Already Taken.
My mother rolled her eyes and asked, “Is that that boy Brian calling?”
I slightly smiled, “Yes, ma’am”
She took a deep breath and told me, “You know your daddy and I do not care for that boy. He is nothing but trouble. He is no good for you.”
“Mommy, I know,” I said, trying not to make eye contact.
When my daddy and mother met Brian for the first time it didn’t go so well. He looked decent and was well put together on the outside, but it was the words that came out of his mouth that didn’t sit well with my parents and my brother Luke. Long story short, Daddy asked Brian, since he was in high school, what were his future goals? Brian told my parents he takes it one day at a time and lets everything fall into place.
My daddy said, “Okay, I understand that. However, everyone must have a goal. Are you going to college, vocational school, heading straight to the workforce, or what? Brian looked at my daddy, “Honestly, sir, I haven’t thought about none of it. College isn’t for me. I am tired of school.” My mom looked at my daddy, then she looked at me. Lastly, she looked at Brian and asked, “Well, Brian. What do you like to do?” He replied, “Play basketball and football. My goal is to make it to the pros.”
My mom and daddy looked at each other again. My mother curled her lip. I knew exactly what she was saying to herself, another young boy without a plan, yet wants to get drafted into the NFL or NBA.
My daddy raised his eyebrows, “Okay, how long have you been playing sports?”
Brian smiled, “Well… I always loved basketball. I’ve been playing since middle school. As for football, I am just now learning the sport. It’s not my thing, but it keeps me busy.”
As I looked at my mother’s face I could tell she wasn’t too happy. She broke her silence and asked, “Are scouts out looking at you?”
Brian looked confused and repeated, “Scouts?”
“Yes, scouts. Recruiters from colleges. Do they have their eyes on you and are they discussing the possibility of a full ride or partial scholarship?” my mom asked.
Brian looked at her as he laughed lightly and said, “Oh no, I just play for fun. It would be nice to be drafted, but who knows.”
My parents looked at each other again with concern.
My mother knew Brian didn’t have a clue about what he wanted to do with his life. She then asked, “How are your parents doing?”
“My mother walked out on my pops and me. My pop is a self-taught mechanic. To answer your question, sir, I might follow in my pop’s footsteps.”
My daddy looked at me and I could only imagine what he was saying to himself.
He said, “You know Breana is going to off to college. Right?”
Brian answered, “Yes. Bree and I talked about this already. We are going to have a long-distance relationship.”
My brother Luke started laughing and asked, “Is that right? Do you to think that’s going to work?” Brian looked at Luke, “Yeah, man, I know it’s going to work. We have everything planned out. I am going to visit and that’s how it’s going to go.” Luke looked at Brian and said, “Don’t you think that’s wishful thinking?” Brian paused for a minute, “No.”
The conversation was about to get heated until my mother said, “Brian we are about to have dinner. You can stay and have dinner with us if you like.”
Brian said, “Thank you, but if you don’t mind, I would like to have a plate, and if it’s possible, can my pops have a plate too?”
My mother replied, “Sure.”
Daddy told him, “You are welcome to eat at the table with us. We are not a “to-go or takeout” restaurant.”
My mother cleared her throat, “Luke Senior, let me talk to you in the kitchen for a minute.”
I overheard my daddy say, “What the hell does he think this is? There is such a thing as hospitality and being ungrateful. He doesn’t want to sit with us but his ass wants two to-go plates. Hell, no.”
I knew then my family didn’t care for him.
Brian left without saying goodbye to my parents. I walked him to the door and that was that.
My daddy came back into the family room and asked, “Your friend left?”
I said, “Yes, because you made him feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. Not to mention, you embarrassed me”
He told me to get my act and tone together and to remember who I was talking to.
I ran up to my room and he told me to get my butt back down the stairs and eat dinner.
&
nbsp; We sat at the dinner table in complete silence.
Daddy broke the silence and said, “That boy is going to be hell on wheels.”
I said, “Daddy, you don’t even know him.”
He replied, “I don’t have to know him. I saw all I needed to see, and I most definitely heard all I needed to hear. He doesn’t have any goals or plans. If you get involved with that boy it is a disaster waiting to happen.”
I looked at my mom and said, “Mom.”
She looked at me. “I agree with your father. Baby, he is going to be a load to carry with so much baggage. Sweetie, you do not want that.”
I cried, “Mommy, when you met Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa didn’t like him, either, but they gave him a chance.”
Daddy said, “The difference is, Breana, I had goals. I had a plan. Whether your grandparents liked me or not I knew what I wanted to do in life. That boy’s walking blind and don’t give a damn about anything or anyone.”
I looked at Luke and said, “Help me.”
As Luke pierced his peas with the fork he said, “Bree, I don’t like him.”
He looked at me, “Momma and Dad are protecting you from getting hurt. That dude is going to put a hurting on you. You just don’t see it.”
I asked to be excused.
From that day forth I made it official with Brian.
The phone started to ring again. I’m Already Taken
My mom rolled her eyes again, but she didn’t say anything.
My phone was going off and a couple of text messages came through back-to-back. I didn’t look at it, but my mom rolled her eyes and said, “Good God, what does he want?”
My mom looked around as she turned up her nose, “Your room is a huge mess. All those boxes everywhere.” Then she smiled and said, “Can you believe it, next year you will be packing up again, heading off to college? I am so proud of you.”
I took a deep breath as I looked at the boxes, “I can’t believe it either. Thanks, Mommy. It hasn’t been easy.”
I started moving things out of the way as I walked into my bathroom.
“Well, I am going to get out the way and let you get ready. What time is your first class today?” she asked.
“I have Psychology at 11 a.m., then Anatomy at 1 p.m. Later, I have to go up to the high school to talk to my advisor. Then I have cheerleading practice.” I replied.
“I see you have a full schedule,” she said.
“Yes, I do. Every single day,” I replied.
“Well, my love, I am going to head off to a meeting. Have a wonderful and blessed day. Mommy loves you,” she said in a high voice.
“Have a blessed day too, Mommy. I love you too. I am going to meditate, shower and head out the door. Be safe.”
“Okay, you be safe too. Let me know when you make it,” she said.
“I will,” I replied.
***
My favorite meditation smooth relaxing CD is the Holiday Soundtrack. The tracks I love the most are Maestro, Kiss Goodbye, It’s Complicated, the “Cowch”, Three Musketeers, Iris and Jasper, Christmas Surprise, and If I wanted to Call You. I have them on repeat every morning and sometimes at night when I am reading and winding down.
As I walked out of the bathroom and gathering my thoughts for my meditation, my mother caught me off guard. “Oh. Breana. I forgot to tell you the affirmation for today is: “I deserve the best of the best!”
I smiled and told her, “Good one, Mommy! I love that!”
As my mom walked off, I paused and said, “Mommy?”
She turned around, “Yes.”
I said, “You deserve the best of the best too!”
She smiled, gave me a hug, swinging me side-to-side as she looked me in the eyes and said, “My sweet baby, you always deserve the best of the best!”
She tapped her index finger on my nose, “Make sure you remember that.”
I walked into my personal sanctuary. Over and over I said softly, I deserve the best of the best. Breana, you deserve the best of the best.
The sun is so bright and loving. My sanctuary looks naked since I took down my crystals for positive energy to prepare to move upstairs. I always wear my citrine stone around my neck, and I never leave the house without my chakra bracelets. I called on my Higher Self and the Great Divines (I considered the Great Divines to be God, my Higher Self, Angels, Mother Nature, High Vibration and Frequency) to join me. I sat down and closed my eyes to clear my chakras as I prepared my mind for today.
Thirty minutes passed.
I felt so calm, relaxed and energized.
Since it’s eighty-one degrees and the sun is beaming some extra love in late August, I decided to wear a yellow sundress, painted my toenails with cotton candy polish, put on some flip-flops, and pulled out my favorite blue jean jacket. I brushed my hair with a wide tooth comb to part it as I braided my hair into two goddess braids, put on my chakra bracelets and went downstairs to prepare a veggie/fruit smoothie, grab my keys and head out the door.
Wow, it is such a beautiful day! It is a wonderful thing to hear the birds singing. The sun is bright, and the breeze is perfect as the leaves gently move, playing a melody.
Today is going to be a great day because I deserve the best of the best!
2
Chapter two
My daddy called me as I gathered my things for my psychology class, “Good morning, sweet baby girl!”
“Good morning, Daddy!” I said with excitement.
“I had to leave early this morning to meet up with a couple of contractors, but I wanted to call before your first class to tell you to have a wonderful and blessed day!” he said.
“Daddy, thank you! Have a wonderful and blessed day too!”
“Love you, baby girl!” Daddy said.
I smiled, “Have a great day, Daddy, and I love you too!”
I walked into my psychology class thinking I was going to get a good seat. Boy, was I wrong! I looked at my watch and noticed that I was ten minutes early. It is always a hassle trying to find a seat since I am near-sighted and have to sit in the back. Sitting in middle does not bother me too much, but if I sit in the front I feel like everything is magnified, and my head starts to hurt. Dr. Wright’s class has stadium seats and it is a huge class. It reminds me of people who attend church once a year on Easter Sunday.
I looked around for a while before I was going to settle in the corner on the floor. A classmate of mine, T’eo, waved me down as he pointed to an empty seat. Thank God for T’eo. People were irritated because I had to cross over.
“Excuse me,” I said, trying to get by.
“Oh, my bad, excuse me,” I said as I tried to walk sideways, and not fall. I held on to their stuff so their books and papers wouldn’t fall.
One guy was waiting for me to pass him. I saw him watching, itching and waiting to say something before T’eo waved me down. “Dang, you about to knock over my papers, books, and my instrument. Watch where you are going!” he said in a voice when you know someone wants to complain and say something just because and for no reason.
He was such a jackass with a bad attitude. I was going to let his comment ride, but I had to say something, “You know I have to get by, and I said excuse me. Who brings an instrument to class anyway? You’re acting like you are at home with all this mess on your desk. You need to clean it up. I feel bad for the people beside you and for the ones who are in front of you too.”
He squinted his eyes as he looked at me. I looked back at him and sucked my teeth, letting him know he didn’t scare me.
Oh, I forget to mention that I’m very outspoken. I am a Sagittarius; and as they say, Saggies do not have a filter and we are bold; which we are. However, we are mindful when necessary; but most of the time, some people deserve to hear our blunt facts because they need to be put in their place. Other than that, I try to be humble.
“T’eo, thank you,” I said with relief.
“No problem, I saved the seat for you because I noticed you weren�
�t here.”
“That was very nice of you,” I said,
T’eo is a sophomore in college. He is very mature and handsome. He is not an athlete like Brian. His smile is cute, but his teeth are not pearly white. When I look at him, I try not to look at his uneven tooth in the front. You can’t hardly tell, but I notice it. His heritage is mixed. I do not know for sure, but he looks like he is mixed with white, black and Italian. I never asked. His hair is very curly. Sometimes he cuts it short, but it grows back quickly. He is really handsome when he wears a cap. His nose is a little pointy, his lips are thin and attractive. I love his eyes, they change color when the seasons change. I thought they were contacts, but nope, they are green during the fall, hazel brown during the summer, strangely blue in the winter and gray in the spring. Dressing or keeping up with the latest fashion isn’t on his agenda. He always wears shorts or pants, with a sweater or maybe a short-sleeved shirt (which, most of the time is faded) with flip-flops. Today, he has on tennis shoes. I am surprised. I wonder what the occasion is.
We are associates. I met him in the library last semester. We were sitting at the same table studying for our exams. I remember that day clearly. He was studying Statistics and I was studying Math 101. For some reason, he knew I was struggling and asked me if I needed help. Come to find out, he’s a math major: his major is Economics and his minor is Accounting.
As for me, I am still up in the air. I love Economics too, but I have an itch for something in the biology field. I’ve taken Biology 101, 102 and I decided to take Anatomy this semester.
Later that day, after studying all morning long, we took a break and ate at the Student Café. (I wouldn’t say we are close because there are a lot of things we don’t know about each other. I am the type of person who, if you don’t ask, I won’t tell.) Ever since then, we will chat here and there, but we never talked about our personal lives. Just school stuff.
Unapologetic for My Flaws and All Page 3