He smirked, “I try.”
(I had never seen him smirk before. It was kind of cute)
I smirked back, “What’s up with the tennis shoes today?”
He smiled and said, “Ah, you noticed.”
I arched my eyebrows and asked, “What do you mean… I noticed?”
As he continued to smile, he said, “I mean… you noticed something about me.”
I begin playing with my pencil, “I notice something about everybody. I’m an observer.”
T’eo cleared his throat, “But… I am not “everybody”.
I opened my folder and said, “Oooo… kay…”
Dr. Wright walked in the classroom saying, “Actions. Actions speak louder than words.”
Everyone nodded their heads.
Today, Dr. Wright is wearing light brown penny loafers with a shiny bronze penny in them. He has on a wool checked jacket with a black and gold Malcolm X t-shirt underneath and green jeans. This is the norm for Dr. Wright. Sometimes I wonder, does he get dressed in the dark? He yelled, “Does it? Or is that just a figure of speech?”
“Actions speak louder than words,” answered a girl with an amazing body and a lilac headband on her head.
“Why is that?” Dr. Wright asked.
“Words are just that, words. Actions show and tell,” she answered.
“You think so?” Dr. Wright asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
Another opinion please?” Dr. Wright suggested.
I raised my hand and said, “Words are powerful. They produce ideas, and what you believe in. Words are actions, because if you don’t speak or think it, how else will actions be applied? Most people’s actions come from what they see and what other people do. Most of the time their actions are an image of what I call “copycat” because people do what they see. Now, on the other hand, words are powerful because you have to think in order to achieve.”
Dr. Wright interrupted, “I’m loving it, you are getting somewhere here. Go on.”
“Well, as I stated, actions are seen and can be copied. Words can be heard, but only if you want them to be heard. Therefore, if you keep your thoughts to yourself people will not be able to copy you. They can “assume” it is something you will do… They only will know by your words. To answer your question. Actions do speak louder than words because words cannot be heard unless you are willing to listen. And if you are listening, then a person will take in sometimes what they want to hear. With that being said, we all have to be very careful with what and how we say things. The reason for that is, it might be taken out of proportion.”
Dr. Wright was engaged. He asked, “Taken the wrong way? How?”
I answered, looking serious, “It can be taken the wrong way by a person’s tone, facial expression, and body language. At times, it can be taken the wrong way because a person can assume the wrong things.”
I paused, and continued, “Let me get back to what I was saying about actions. Actions are just that—actions. The question is, Dr. Wright, are actions true? Loyal? Real? Or just figments of people’s imagination? People can show us anything. Most of the time, people only show you what want to see. And words are powerful because sometimes people never follow through with what they say. If you say it, you must put actions behind it. Therefore, words are the stamp of approval, and actions follow. That’s just my opinion.”
Silence in the room.
Dr. Wright looked at me and smiled, “Ms. Breana, do you have a boyfriend?”
I hesitated to answer that question. I wondered, why is he asking me about my personal life?
“Dr. Wright, you caught me off guard,” I replied.
“I asked because when or if he sends you flowers and roses, do his actions tell you he cares or is sorry?”
I felt uncomfortable answering that question. He could have given another example. Maybe I am overthinking the questions.
Inside I was feeling uncomfortable, but I didn’t show it and said, “Sending flowers is cute. The words on the card are just that: words on a card. I am the type of person who listens to what people say and I take it at face value. Flowers don’t faze me. They are sweet, but I am not a materialist kind of girl. I mean, it’s okay to be thoughtful. It’s wonderful to know that someone is thinking of me… but I prefer him to express his feeling and that we talk face to face. Speaking the words are more valuable to me. The symbol of words to me is communication. Communication is key. Listening follows, then action.”
“A hard to please lady,” Dr. Wright replied.
I said to myself, Ugh. He is one of those types of men. I said in a sharp tone with meaning, “No. I am not hard to please. I am a realist. With all due respect, Dr. Wright, if I was a man saying this, would you say that I am hard to please?”
He looked down on the floor then looked directly at me. “Men go with the flow. Women dissect everything,” he replied.
“Dr. Wright, that was a biased comment,” I added.
“I wouldn’t call it biased. It’s the way of the world. Just like you said, that’s the reality.” Dr. Wright replied.
I paused as I stood up, “Your comment was biased, and in my opinion, sexual discrimination. Just because I wouldn’t take flowers that were given for whatever reason, I am hard to please. If it was given to me out of love I’d appreciate it. If it was given to me after an argument, well it didn’t solve the issue. Either way, I prefer to express my feelings verbally and I expect the same from my partner. That doesn’t have anything to do with being hard to please.”
Before I sat down, I said, “If you believe women dissect things, maybe it’s because we think before we get ourselves in hot water. We, as women, are cautious and wise. With all due respect, it’s men like you who cause us to dissect everything before we take the leap. It’s called ‘been there and done that.’ Affirmation for today, when a woman is “dissecting” something or a man, maybe you all need to prepare yourself to be dismissed. Just a thought.”
“Ms. Breana, you are a smart and intelligent young lady. You will need to date an older man because a younger man wouldn’t be on your level,” Dr. Wright said, and he smiled.
He continued, “Breana, great conversation and participation.”
He looked at me, winked his eye, and smiled.
Weird. I felt so uncomfortable.
He continued, “Actions speak louder than words. Let Ms. Breana tell it, words are powerful without actions and actions are powerful without words. Write a five-page essay and tell me your thoughts. Class dismissed.”
I gathered my belongings.
“Wow. Woman of steel,” T’eo said as he laughed.
“No, I am a woman who won’t back down from what I believe in. I don’t care what anyone says, Dr. Wright was being biased in the worst way,” I said as I put my book in my backpack.
“Yeah… He was being biased, but you handled it well.” T’eo said.
“Yep. I know I did,” I replied quickly.
I started walking. I stopped in my tracks, “Wait. Did you just say you thought he was being biased too?”
T’eo moved his eyes from left to right, “Uh. Yeah.”
I put my hand on my hip and said, “If that’s what you were thinking, why didn’t you say anything?”
He bit his lip, “Well, I didn’t think it was my place to say anything. From the looks of it, you had it covered all on your own. I wasn’t the only one keeping quiet. You shut the classroom down. I know one thing, nobody is going to battle you,” he added. “You didn’t back down. I’m proud of you.”
I rolled my eyes, “Whatever, T’eo. I think that’s what’s wrong with the world today. Not enough people are standing up for what they believe in. They’d rather let one person stand alone. How is that fair?”
T’eo didn’t say anything.
I said, “Everyone is proud of me. People do not understand, it takes courage to be me.”
I was in a daze.
T’eo changed the subject, “You asked me w
hy am I wearing tennis shoes.”
I was still in a daze and asked, “What?”
T’eo clapped his hands, “Snap out of it, Breana. Are you there? Are you there? Earth to Breana.”
I blinked my eyes and asked, “What did you say?”
T’eo snapped his fingers, “Earth to Breana?”
I laughed, “I heard that part.”
T’eo looked at me, “I said, you asked me why I’m wearing tennis shoes?”
I said, “Oh, yeah.”
He answered, “It’s because I am going to do just that… play tennis.”
I laughed, “Oh... okay, that makes perfectly good sense.”
We walked outside and sat on the bench in a slightly shaded area for a short while. I took off my backpack, crossed my legs, closed my eyes and enjoyed the rays of the sun.
T’eo looked at me and asked, “Breana, what are you doing for the rest of today?”
“I have another class. Then I have to talk to my counselor; then cheerleading practice.” I replied.
He looked confused, “Cheerleading practice? I didn’t know you were on the cheerleading team?”
I looked at him and smiled, “Yeah. I am.”
He was still looking confused when he said, “Really? I never saw you at any of the games.”
I widened my eyes and said, “Oh, no. I am not on the cheerleading team here at Brubaker State University. I am captain on my cheerleading team at Jackson-Miles High school. I am a senior. Class of 2019.”
T’eo hopped up and said, “High school? Wait… How old are you?”
I told him, “I am seventeen years old. I will be eighteen on December 1st.”
He took a deep breath and laughed, “So… you are seventeen years old?”
I arched my eyebrows as I said, “Yes. Is it illegal for you to talk to me or something?” He held his hand out, “Let me see your driver’s license.”
I looked at him and said, “Hold up. Let me see your ID. Dang, you’re acting like we hooked up and you are going to jail or something.”
He pulled out his license.
I looked over and said, “You were born on July 1st.”
I took his license out of his hand and said, “Wait, you just turned eighteen this year. Did you graduate high school early?” As I pulled out my driver’s license from my purse, he answered my question, “Yes. I graduated high school a year early and started college nearly a year early too.”
I showed him my license.
He was speaking to himself out loud while reading my ID saying, “Breana Anderson, born December 1st.”
I snatched my ID and said, “Ugh. That’s all you need to know.”
He smiled, “Okay. Well… so, you are in high school and attending college.”
I smiled with pride and confidence, “That’s right!”
He bumped my shoulder with his and said, “I see you. You are a S.P.Y.T.”
My eyebrows arched as I asked, “Huh? What? What is S.P.Y.T?”
“Smart Pretty Young Thing,” he said.
I looked at him, “Ugh. No. I am a Smart Pretty Young Lady.”
T’eo laughed, “Yes, you are. Bold and so wise. I agree with Mr. Wright, if you date, you need an older man. Are you dating?”
My expression changed because he made me think about my issues with Brian, “Yes. I have a boyfriend. His name is Brian.”
T’eo said, “Really? Okay. Well, I guess we can be friends. Right?
I gave him a fist bump, “Of course. Why not? We are taking it up a notch from associates to being friends—I don’t see any harm in that.”
3
Chapter three
Today is such a beautiful day! It’s nearly fall but
it is hot in Atlanta. Thanksgiving is around the corner in a few months and it is still in the low- and mid-eighties. One thing’s for sure, traffic is beyond crazy. I cannot get to point A or to point B without being in traffic. I hate putting on the AC because it burns up my gas. I like to conserve my money, but it is too damn hot.
Incoming call from Brian. I asked Google to answer his call.
“Bree, are you on your way to school?” Brian asked without giving me time to say hello. As a matter of fact, he didn’t say hello.
I replied in a dry tone, “Brian, I will be there in about ten minutes.”
He said, “Cool, can you bring me a $5 pizza?”
I said to myself, What? I looked at the phone and said, “No, I cannot. I have an appointment with Mrs. Morgan at three.”
Brian slightly raised his voice, “Breana, it’s down the street.”
I told him, “Brian, if it’s only down the street, then you shouldn’t have a problem getting it yourself. Don’t you have practice today?”
He yelled, “Bree, I don’t need you to be my mother! You know what? I don’t have time for this. I am done with you. We are through!”
The phone hung up.
This relationship is stressful. He says he doesn’t want me to be his mother. Really? After all these years, I feel like I’ve been his mother. Every time I turn around, I am listening to his dysfunctional life and all of his trillion problems. I am always there to bail him out of shit, and he never ever appreciates it. This is an unhealthy relationship. Regardless of how good he looks, I have to let it go sooner or later. Maybe later than sooner, because he needs me.
As I drive into the parking lot, I see a couple of posters on the gate with my picture on them, saying, Vote for Brenna Anderson for Queen of Jackson-Miles High. The marching band was doing their thing, and the majorettes shaking their tails, getting down. As I sat in the car I started to dance to the beat. I got out of the car and joined the majorette line, shaking my behind and moving to the beat of the drum. The band was on fire! “Go, Bree, do your thing, girl!” a saxophone player yelled. I don’t know his name, but I know his face.
I broke it down and start doing the old-school electric slide. The band changed the beat and followed my lead. We were all breaking down the electric slide and we added in the Janet Jackson move, added the Bankhead bounce to put a little modern version to it, and finished it off with a smooth slow motion nae nae. As I was dancing, my hair fell in my face because the braid came apart. When I am whipping my hair as I dance, nobody can tell me anything! I laughed and said, “It was fun breaking it down with you ladies and gentlemen!”
I wanted to stay and dance. Instead, I got out of the line because I had to make my appointment on time. The band was still jamming. I smiled and said, “See ya’ll in a minute. Thank you for the fun!” I was looking at my phone and scrolled down to a rude-ass text from Brian, saying, “So you were in a rush to shake your ass. I thought you had an appointment. I’m done with you, Bree.” Once again, he’s done with me. How many times can a person break up with someone in one day? I didn’t reply because I knew if I did, I would be late. That’s the shit I’m talking about. If I have a nanosecond, Brian wants that too.
As I was walking up the steps, I heard a lot of people saying, “Hey Bree!” or “Hey Breana!”
I waved and said hey to everyone.
Someone yelled, “Bree, Girl, you know you got my vote!” “Thank you!” I replied as I looked up and waved.
“Hey, Breana. You got my vote too!” said a girl with red hair as she gave me a high-five. I gave her a high-five in return, “Thank you. I truly appreciate it!”
As I walked in the door a girl on the JV team said, “Hey, Girl! I love your nails!” I replied, “Really? Thanks! Girl, it took me all day.” She looked at them again, “I can’t tell you did the damn thing yourself!” I said, “Thank you, Girl!”
She walked with me down the hall and said, “Bree, I know you are a senior and captain on the Varsity team. I was wondering, could you put in a good word for me? I am going to try out for the Varsity team and I really been working my butt off to earn a spot.”
She kept up with me because I was in a rush. I said, “I apologize, but what is your name?” “Faith,” she replied. I stopped w
alking and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Faith.” As I reached to shake her hand I asked, “Faith, what grade are you in?” “Tenth,” she replied. I pulled out a piece of paper from my back pocket and said, “Okay, write your name and number down. I will call you before the week is out.” Faith was so excited as she wrote on the paper. She said, “Really? Thank you, Bree!” I gave her a hug, “Faith, you’re more than welcome!”
Someone else came up to me. “Hey, Bree. Girl, I like your shoes.” I smiled, “Thank you, I like yours too!” I didn’t even look at her shoes, but I do not like it when someone compliments me without me giving a compliment back. I wasn’t lying, but I’m sure there was something about her shoes that I would like.
As we were going in opposite directions, towards the end of the hallway she yelled, “Bree, by the way, you got my vote!” I laughed and yelled back, “Thank you, Girl!”
I ran up the steps to the third floor. When I opened the door the cheerleader squad were cheering in the hallway. I gave some of them a hug as I said, “Hey, y’all!” They were all happy as they said, “Hey, Bree! Bree! Bree!” “Hey y’all! Get ready and warm up. I’ll be there shortly. Nicole, take over until I get there,” I said.
Nicole is co-captain. She is always doing her thing! She’s in the eleventh grade and she is running for Ms. Eleventh Grade. She answered, “Okay, Girl. No problem.” “I appreciate it,” I replied. I added, “Nicole, you look so cute today! You are glowing.” She started laughing and said, “Bree, girl, how am I glowing?” I touched her hair and said, “Your skin looks so healthy. It looks like Werther’s caramel candy! It’s so shiny and healthy! Your hair’s full of volume and so bouncy.” “Okay, Bree,” she said, smiling from ear to ear. I smiled back, “I am glad you are smiling. See, I told you your braces look good on you!” “Yeah, I am getting used to them now. Thanks, Bree!” she replied.
Walking down to the basement, I run into Brian. Damn. I do not need this crap right now. He walked along with me at a fast pace, saying, “Bree, we need to talk.” I kept walking and said, “No, we don’t. You just broke up with me for the I-don’t-know-how-many times today, Brian.” He said softly as he touched my elbow, “Bree, you know I was just playing.” I kept walking and told him, “Whatever, Brian. I am so over all this bullshit you put me through.” He pleaded, “Slow down, Bree, damn. I’m just saying. I was mad.”
Unapologetic for My Flaws and All Page 4