***
After everyone pitched in and cleaned the dishes, kitchen, and dining room, we were stuffed as we all gathered in the family room to watch a movie. My mother asked Ms. Rosa and T’eo if they would like to stay to watch the movie with us. Summer, Luke and I gathered some blankets, while Mother and Ms. Rosa made hot cocoa for everyone. As for me, I preferred chamomile tea. My phone rang and it was Chloe. She said, “Open the door, we are getting out of the car.” Chloe and her mother always watch Christmas movies with us every Christmas after dinner. It’s been a tradition since we were in elementary school. Chloe had her pink blanket and matching pillow. Summer said, “Gosh, Confident Chloe! Are you moving in?” I laughed because she looked like she had more than a blanket and a pillow. My brother Luke asked, “Chloe, do you need help with your suitcase?” As she struggled, she said, “No I have it, thanks.” As Summer arched her eyebrows she said, “Are you sure, because you are knocking stuff over.” Luke got up off the couch and helped Chloe with her things. Chloe’s mother greeted everyone and walked into the kitchen to help my mother and Ms. Rosa get the hot cocoa together.
I walked with Chloe as she went upstairs to my room. After she threw all her stuff on my bed, I laughed and asked, “How many nights are you staying?” Chloe fell on my bed and said, “I have no idea.” I reached for my pillow and lay on the bed beside her. We both looked at the ceiling. I broke the silence and said, “What’s been going on with you?” She turned her head and said, “Nothing much. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about if I should have enrolled in the Early College Program. I didn’t want to do the extra work, but now I see that it would have been worth it.” I said, “Chloe, in tenth grade, I begged you to enroll with me so we could start together in eleventh grade.” Chloe said, “Yep, Bree, you sure did. You begged me and I said nope. Wish I would have listened.” I sat up and said, “It is not the end of the world. You have good grades and we will apply for some scholarships together.” Chloe said, “Bree, you are already busy, I can’t ask you to do that. You already have more than enough on your plate.” She laid her head on my shoulder. I said, “Chloe, we are Yin and Yang, we stick together and help each other out. There is no such thing as being too busy for my best friend.” Chloe gave me a hug and said, “Thank you, my Yin.” I hugged her back and said, “You’re welcome, my Yang.” Chloe said, “I see Mr. Charm is downstairs. He must have come over for the movie?” I started to blush. “Nope. T’eo and his mother joined us for dinner. They are staying to watch the movie.” Chloe jumped on the bed and said, “His mother’s here?” I was still blushing as I replied, “Yep.” Chloe said, “Damn, Bree. Are you-all a couple?” I smiled from ear to ear and said, “Yep!” Chloe screamed, “What! When were you going to tell me?” I said, “You didn’t give me time. We just became a couple today. He gave me a promise ring and necklace. I bought him an outfit and gift card.” Chloe said, “You got him the outfit you were telling me about that he couldn’t afford because he wanted to fly his mother here for Christmas?” I nodded my head. “Yep.” Chloe said, “Wow. Bree. That was nice of you. He knows you are a keeper!” My mother yelled and said, “Girls, come on down. We have to vote on which movie we are going to watch.”
Chloe and I gathered our blankets and pillows and walked down the stairs. Ms. Rosa, Chloe’s mother, and my mother passed out the hot cocoa. My mother handed me my tea as I walked into the family room. Before anyone could say anything, Summer said, “Can we watch The Polar Express? It’s a family movie and everybody will stay awake.” Ms. Rosa smiled and said, “How sweet. That’s fine with me.” My mother said, “Well, does everyone want to watch The Polar Express?” We all agreed. I sat in the middle between T’eo and Chloe. My mother and Daddy cuddled together as they sat on the couch. Summer lay on an air mattress. Luke was in his space, lying on the floor near Chloe. Ms. Rosa made herself comfortable, she sat in the recliner and made herself at home. Chloe’s mother sat on the loveseat as she cuddled up with a blanket. As the movie started, my daddy said, “Everyone better behave themselves.” I cried, “Daddy!” He said, “I am serious. Make sure you two keep your hands to yourselves.” T’eo said, “Most definitely, sir.” I said, “Daddy, I am a good girl.” He winked his eye at me and dimmed the lights.
***
Chloe and I slept in because we stayed up all night talking. T’eo and his mother left around midnight. When I walked down to the kitchen to make some tea, Summer was still sleeping in the family room. Luke was outside on the porch talking on the phone. My mother walked into the kitchen and said, “Good morning, baby.” I gave her a hug and said, “Good morning, Mommy. How did you sleep?” She said, “I slept good, thanks for asking. How about you?” I looked at my mother, saying to myself are you kidding me? I said, “I do not know why Chloe never wants to sleep in the guestroom. She always takes over my bed. Every time I volunteer to sleep in the guestroom she always says, “I’m coming too.” So, I just stay put. My mother smiled and said, “Well, it always been that way since you two were babies.” Summer walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and said, “Confident Chloe is afraid of the bogey man. That’s why she wants to sleep in your bed with you.” My mother and I laughed. Chloe crept up behind Summer, tickled her, and said, “I am not scared of the bogey man.” Summer said, “Well… prove it and sleep in the guestroom.” Chloe said, “Oh goodness, Summer.” Summer shrugged her shoulders and said, “See…Confident Chloe. Well... Scary Chloe is afraid of the bogey man.”
***
Chloe stayed for the entire weekend. I talked to T’eo a couple of times, but not for long because he wanted to spend as much time with his mother before she left. That gave me enough time to spend with Chloe. Chloe and I enjoyed each other’s company. We stayed in the house watched movies, baked, cooked, we went to a couple of her meetings she put together for the girls and applied for as many scholarships as possible.
***
Today is New Year’s Eve and I cannot believe the year is about to be over. It went by so fast! I had a lot of ups and downs, more downs than ups, but I look at each downfall as a stepping stone and a lesson learned. Luke was going to a New Year’s Eve party. My parents were hanging out with their friends, and tonight, Summer and I were staying home. I wanted T’eo to come over, but I know my daddy isn’t going to leave T’eo, Summer and me alone, so I didn’t bother to ask. He always says, “Ask, and you will either get a yes or a no.” I know for a fact I will get a no. I asked Chloe to come over, but she decided to go to a New Year’s Eve party with Luke. You know, they have really been acting strange around me when they are together. I wonder if… Nah… can’t be… but I wonder… do they have feelings for each other, or are they going out without telling me? I wandered around the house, trying to put two and two together. Luke never asked Chloe if she needed help but the other day, he asked her did she need help with her suitcase. Just last week, he sat with her at the dinner table and lay beside her as we watched the Christmas movie. I yelled Summer’s name, maybe I need to ask her because she knows all the gossip. Summer walked in my room saying, “Gosh, Bree, what is it? Is the house on fire? Did someone break in the house?” I looked at her, rolled my eyes and said, “You know my room isn’t on fire.” Summer put her hand on her hip and said, “Well, you’re yelling like the house is on fire and as if someone robbing the place.” I said, “Anyway… look… have you noticed Chloe and Luke acting strange?” Summer sat on my bed and said, “Yes! He opened the door for her the other day, and you know Luke never goes out his way for Chloe. He asked her during Thanksgiving dinner did she want a refill on sweet tea. He refilled her cup. I was looking at them like, what is really going on?” I put my hand on my chin and said, “Summer, that is a good question. What is really going on? You know Chloe and Luke are going out to a party tonight.” Summer yelled, “Together?” I looked at Summer, “Yes, Summer, together.” Summer said, “Bree, there is something going on, and you know what? I am going to find out!”
***
Thirty mor
e minutes before the New Year arrives. My phone rang, and it was Brian. I looked at it but I didn’t answer. He sent a text saying, “Breana. I wanted to say Happy New Year. Can we talk please?” I didn’t reply, I deleted it. I texted T’eo to see what he was doing. He called me. We talked until the New Year came in. We wished each other an abundant and prosperous 2019. We made a plan to make dinner at his house before his mother leaves to go back home. I was happy we made plans because the break is almost over and we have hardly spent time together. Summer was already sleep. After T’eo and I got off the phone I went to sleep as well.
17
Chapter seventeen
As I opened my eyes, I smiled because it’s a new year
and a new me. I have a pep in my step because in a couple months I am optimistic that I will be graduating from BSU and high school. I have a lot of work cut out for me—but I am up for the challenge like always.
I hopped out of bed, looked at myself in the mirror and said to myself, Breana Anderson, it is 2019, and this is your year! As I looked in the mirror, I asked myself, Breana are you happy? I smiled as I replied, yes, because Breana’s happiness starts from within. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and walked into my meditation room to meditate before I started my day.
***
T’eo picked me up today as we headed out to the store to pick up some groceries to cook dinner before his mother leaves to go back home. I noticed he was extremely quiet. I looked at him and his eyes were focused on the road—as it should be—but he didn’t say a word or make a sound. That is not like T’eo. “Are you okay?” I asked. He nodded his head yeah. I looked out the window and didn’t say anything. When we arrived at the store he said, “We are going to make an Italian dish called Orecchiette Cime di Rapa.” I said, “That sounds yummy! What’s in it?” Very quickly and dryly, he said, “It’s pasta. The best thing about these noodles is they are perfect for holding whatever sauce we wish to add. We mix it with broccoli florets, chili flakes, anchovies, spinach, cheese, garlic, and of course, olive oil, and Parmesan to give it a creamy texture and flavor. We are going to make pesto from fresh basil, toasted pine nuts, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and spread it on focaccia bread which we are going to make from scratch as well,” he said quickly, as if he didn’t really want to explain it all to me, and I was really turned off because I felt like he didn’t want to be bothered. I said, “Oh, okay.” We walked silently around the store as we gathered the ingredients. As we put the groceries in the car, I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to break the silence. I looked at T’eo and said, “What is wrong? Do not tell me that you are okay and everything is good, either. Do you not want to be bothered today? I am not going to walk around all day with you acting bitter and having a nasty attitude. At least tell me what is the problem. If you say everything is okay, then cool, take me home, because I am not feeling your “okay” energy. I did not sign up for this today.”
T’eo rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth as we drove off. I unbelted my seatbelt, put my purse on my shoulder and said, “Pull over and let me out. I am not up for this shit today.” T’eo said, “Bree. You are talking crazy.” I said, “Maybe, because you are not saying anything at all. Pull over and I will call my daddy or brother to pick me up.” He kept driving. I yelled and said, “T’eo, pull the car over!” T’eo pulled the car over. I unlocked the door and reached for the handle and opened the door. T’eo reached for the handle as he tried to close the door said, “Breana, chill out.” I looked at him and said, “I am not up for the silent treatment today, especially knowing I didn’t do anything to deserve this shit. I asked you a couple times what’s wrong, and you want to act like a complete ass.” T’eo cut me off and said, “Bree, my father called me today for the first time in fourteen years.” I was in shock as I put my hand over my mouth and said, slowly, “Are you serious? Oh, my gosh, are you okay?” T’eo gripped the steering wheel and squeezed it tightly and said, “He had the nerve to asked me how am I doing. I asked him, what does he want? He said, I want to know how you are doing, son. I heard that you are in college. I am proud of you. I asked him, who told you that? And what do you mean, you are proud of me? None of my achievements are thanks to you. You left my mother and me, remember? You should be asking how my mother’s doing? You left us without a pot to pee in. You left us with one piece of bread to share while my mother starved as she fed me. He tried to explain himself, Bree, but I told him. I don’t want to hear his senseless excuses. Bree, he had the nerve to say, I did not call to hear about your mother. I called to see how you are doing and to hear your voice. Bree, I was filled with rage. I told him he is fourteen years too late, and if he doesn’t care about my mother, how could he care about me? Before I hung up, I told him he should thank my mother and be honored that she raised a man alone. After that, I hung up and blocked his number.”
I didn’t know what to say. I could only say, “T’eo, I’m sorry. You deserve so much better, and your mother as well.” T’eo didn’t say anything, he just hugged me as he cried and said, “Bree, I always wondered why wasn’t I good enough for my father. I always wondered why he didn’t help my mother take care of me. Why... Bree? Why now…? Why does he want to come back into my life after the hard work is done? If I wasn’t in school, he probably wouldn’t have called me. I am not letting him back into my life. He is not wanted or welcome.”
I held T’eo in my arms as he lay on my chest. I wiped his tears and said softly, “It’s going to be okay. One thing’s for sure, you cannot run from this. You are entitled to feel pain, hurt, and you most definitely need to get it off your chest and tell your father how you feel. It is not for him, T’eo it is for you. That way, you can let go without a heavy heart. You will be able to live your life knowing your father knows exactly how you feel.” He cried and cried as he said, “Bree, I do not want to see him. He is dead to me.” I didn’t know what to say. He continued, “Bree, I am so sorry I took it out on you. I am sorry.” I rubbed his head and said, “No apology needed. It’s okay. I understand. Know you can always talk to me about anything.” T’eo asked me if I could drive back to his house while he got himself together because he didn’t want his mother to see him upset. As I took over the wheel, he said, “Bree, you are amazing.” I smiled and said, “Look who’s talking, you are beyond amazing, you are strong-willed, a good son to your mother, a good friend, and a man to me.” I reached over, touched his hand as he interlocked our fingers. He kissed my hand and said, “I am truly blessed.” I smiled as I kept my eyes on the road and said, “I am truly blessed too.”
***
Ms. Rosa hugged me as I set foot in the door. She said, “Hola! Breana! It is so nice to see you again.” I replied, “Thank you kindly! It’s so nice to see you too!” She kissed me on the cheek and said, “You are such a beautiful girl.” I smiled and said, “Thank you.” As T’eo walked in the door he said, “Well, I know for a fact I am getting a great workout, going up and down these steps with all these groceries.” I laughed and said, “Look on the bright side, at least it will count towards your 10,000 steps.” He looked at me as he put the bags on the counter and said, “Bree has an answer for everything.” I made a funny face and replied, “You better know it.” I continued and asked, “Do you need any help?” T’eo looked at me with a smirk and said, “Really? People are a trip, they watch you do all the work, and then want to ask do you need help when you are almost done so they can take the credit. People nowadays…” I walked over and hugged him and said, “Well, sweetie, you shouldn’t complain about doing the work if you don’t want assistance after someone offered to help you. It’s not about if you’re almost done with the task or not, it’s about allowing someone to help if you need an extra hand.” T’eo said, “Um, Bree, excuse me.” I laughed and said, “My pleasure. You cannot say I didn’t offer my assistance.”
Ms. Rosa started to sing as she took the food out of the bag. I closed my eyes and listened to the melody and asked her, “Ms. Rosa, what are you singing?” She humbl
y smiled as she said, “You are my Sunshine.” When I was carrying my T’eo I used to sing that to him. After he was born, I sang that to him as well. I also sing it to him as a grown man. It brings me great joy in my heart.” She started back singing, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” T’eo walked in and he heard his mother singing, he started to sing as he took her hand and danced with her, “Please don’t take my sunshine away.” That was a beautiful sight to see.
We prepped the food and started to cook. I looked at the pasta and said, “They look like ears.” Ms. Rosa started to laugh and said happily, “Si, they do! I love them because they store the sauce. Just wait and see! Your taste buds are going to be so grateful!” I smiled and said, “I can’t wait. My mouth is watering.” I took the garlic out the bag, washed them and cut them up so they would be ready when we make the pesto. T’eo washed off the broccoli and spinach, cut them up and put them the pan. As they started to steam, the aroma smelled so good! Ms. Rosa put some herbs in the pan as she stirred the vegetables. T’eo started to make the dough for the bread. I walked over and offered my assistance. He looked at me, smirked, and said, “You don’t know anything about making homemade bread.” I told him, “Nope. I don’t. I am here to learn.” Our fingers were playing together in the dough. I was getting all warm inside and goosebumps because he looked so sexy. As we seasoned the dough, Ms. Rosa flipped the dough, saying, “We have to show the dough some love.” She flipped the dough as if we were about to make some pizza. T’eo started to make the pesto. He asked me to get the food processor as he washed the fresh basil. It smelled so good. He said, “Bree, I am going to let you make the pesto.” I said in a panic, “No… No… I will burn it. No… I do not want to burn the food.” Ms. Rosa and T’eo laughed so hard as they said, “You cannot burn pesto in the food processor.” I looked relieved. T’eo stood behind me and said, “First things first, put in the basil.” He then slid his hands gently down my arms and said, “We are going to measure the pine nuts and pour them into the food processor.” I was blushing as I said, “T’eo, your mother is in here. We can’t be doing all of this.” He kissed my cheeks and said, “It’s better to show love than to show hate. Don’t you agree?” I continued to blush, “Yeah, but your mother is in here.” I looked over, and his mother wasn’t in the kitchen. T’eo said, “See, Ms. Anderson, you worry too much. Just go with the flow and relax.” He reached for the olive oil and garlic. I took hold of the olive oil and T’eo put his hand on top of mine as he said, “We can freely pour the oil in and add the garlic.” I was in a daze for a minute. He said loudly, “Bree! Wait! You are pouring too much oil.” I said, “Well... you said we can pour the oil freely.” T’eo replied, “Bree, you were being too generous.” As he put in the Parmesan, he put a little in his mouth and said, “This cheese is so fresh.” We started the food processor. Afterwards, T’eo took a spoon, scooped a little of the sauce and fed it to me. It was so delicious! I returned the favor and he said, “I am loving this!” I laughed, “You love everything I do!” He replied, “I sure do... I don’t see any harm in that.” Ms. Rosa ran back in the kitchen in a rush saying over and over again, “El pan. El pan.” T’eo told her, “Mother, it’s not burnt.” He pulled it out of the oven, kissed his mother on the cheek and said, “See. Es perfecto!” Ms. Rosa said, “Breana, I have a good chico. He is so loving and patient.” I smiled and agreed.
Unapologetic for My Flaws and All Page 20