Daughter of Rage and Beauty (Berserker Academy Book 1)

by Amy Pennza

  “I don’t feel any different. Maybe we didn’t add enough blood.”

  “No, that’s normal. I never feel anything, either. That comes after the kill.”

  Juice sloshed in my stomach. I handed him the empty glass. “At least I won’t get a cold now.” I couldn’t catch human illnesses, but I needed something to distract me from the devastating effects of his smile. Going without it all morning had made me realize just how much I’d come to rely on it.

  The awful tension between us had lifted, thanks in part to my squeamishness at drinking my own blood. So at least something good had come from me being a subpar berserker.

  Hauk took the glass to the kitchen. Then he went to his pack and swung it around his shoulders. He walked toward me as he tightened the straps. “You okay to go?”

  “Absolutely.” I pulled my gloves on.

  He looked me over, gaze critical. “Cut feel all right?”

  I lifted my hand and wiggled my fingers. “Fine.” I couldn’t ask him to heal it. The wound was part of the ritual. To spill blood, a berserker first had to be willing to spill his own.

  “Boots fit okay?”

  “Yep.”

  His eyes moved to my pack. “You sure you’re okay to carry that?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “The pack is as big as you are.”

  “It’s not that heavy.”

  “I could transfer some supplies to mine—”

  “Hauk.” I met his gaze. “I’m fine. Really. I’m still half-berserker, even if I suck at fighting.”

  His voice was gruff. “You don’t suck at fighting. You got in more than a few good hits on the Dragon Tower.”

  The memory of him playing Led Zeppelin rose in my mind, and I smiled. “I kind of assumed you took it easy on me.”

  One side of his mouth lifted. “Maybe a little.”

  We stood there, smiling at each other in front of his living room window, the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Morning sunlight crept over the balcony and stretched toward our feet.

  He reached out and raised my zipper to my chin. “I hope you’ll be warm enough.”

  “I’ll be all right.” Warmth spread over my chest, and it wasn’t from the North Face jacket he’d given me. “Thanks for all the stuff.”

  “You’re welcome.” He was back to staring at me, his eyes several shades darker than the sky outside.

  “Where did you get it all?”

  He swallowed. “I got it earlier in the week. I wasn’t sure you’d agree to come with me, but I hoped you would.”

  Because he’d needed a nymph, and I fit the description.

  But he’d also said he’d gotten to know me better. And if last night was any indication, he liked what he saw.

  Was I ready to take him at his word? To stop wondering and start feeling?

  Asher’s voice ran though my head. “Raw, wild energy—the kind that makes blood and passion pump through your veins.”

  He’d told me to embrace it.

  Hauk cleared his throat. “Well, um. We should get going.”

  “Right.”

  He continued staring, and for a second I thought he might finally address what had passed between us while he showered.

  But then he stepped back and lifted his hands. A portal grew between them, the edges glowing white. He caught my eye. “Ready?”

  “We can use a portal?”

  He quirked a brow. “Of course. Why not?”

  “Harald said . . .” I shook my head. “Just something Harald said.”

  Hauk’s expression softened. “You’re not a bad berserker, Elin. Forgive me, but your father can be a right dick when he wants to be.”

  That made me smile. “Well, he usually wants to be.”

  “Get over here, shieldmaiden. We’ve got a portal to catch.”

  I moved to his side and grasped his arm. Between the pack and my warm weather clothing, I felt a little like an expensively dressed snowman. “I’m ready.”

  “This one shouldn’t be as bad as yesterday.” He widened the portal more, then dropped his voice to a smooth cadence. “Please return all backpacks and bo staffs to their upright position and remember to fasten your seat belt whenever the fasten seat belt sign is on.”

  He moved us forward a step, and the portal took us.

  Wind rushed by my head, and my vision turned white. Cold air blasted my face.

  I clapped my hands over my ears—and that’s when I realized I’d lost my grip on Hauk.

  Panic rocked me. “Hauk!” I flung out my arms. What if I’d lost him? Or stumbled off plane? I might never find my way back.

  “Elin!” Something seized my shoulders. Then Hauk’s face appeared close to mine.

  Relief made my knees weak. I raised my voice over the wind. “How do we get out of this?”

  “We don’t! We’re here.”

  What? Maybe I hadn’t heard him right. I gripped his arms. “We’re here? This is it?”

  “We’re in the Northern Ural Mountains. I told you it was cold!” He looked around. At least he appeared to. With so much wind and white—which I now realized was snow—it was hard to tell.

  He turned back to me. “This way. Grab my jacket and follow me.”

  No problem there, because I had no intention of letting him out of my sight. I took a fistful of his jacket and gave it a tug. “Okay!”

  He walked forward, pulling me along. With almost zero visibility, I had no choice but to put one foot in front of the other. Wind screamed in my ears, and snow seemed to gather in every available place—my ears, my nose, even the corners of my eyes. Each breath burned a white-hot path from my sinuses to my chest.

  We seemed to go on like that for hours. The staff bumped against my leg—a subtle reminder of the warm air and summer skies Asher had produced. My teeth chattered . . . for a while. At some point, my jaw seemed to freeze in place, and my lips grew so numb I could only hope I was pressing them together instead of letting my mouth hang open.

  Hauk was my only point of reference in a sea of endless white. He’d worn all black, from his knitted cap to his sturdy hiking boots. Snow piled on his shoulders and around the back of his neck, making me wonder if it was melting against his nape and trickling down his back.

  So far, my hair had stopped the same from happening to me. I’d plaited it away from my face and let the rest flow free. Thankfully, Hauk had crammed a beanie over my head after breakfast.

  Still, he could have warned me our destination was a frozen hellscape. Although, nothing could have really prepared me for the swirling, raging torrent surrounding us.

  My world reduced to the black outline of his body, the frigid air flowing in and out of my lungs, and the crunch of my plodding footsteps in the snow. The terrain didn’t seem to vary at all. There were no hills or inclines. No rocks or landmarks. Not even an occasional tree root. It was just a flat expanse of violent white.

  My legs ached . . . then the aching faded, replaced with numbness. That’s what I was—altogether numb. I became the very definition of numb. In a way, the absence of feeling was a welcome development. The snow no longer burned. The air didn’t affect me. I couldn’t feel my feet, so walking was easy.

  And I grew warm. It was the comforting glow of a few shots of whiskey. The warmth started in my belly, then spread to my arms and legs. It carried me—and tempted me. Like a thick, fluffy blanket, it wanted to wrap me up and settle me on the ground.

  Because if I could just close my eyes, I could really get comfortable.

  Hauk kept walking, his boots punching through the snow. A spark of irritation fired inside me. How could I curl up and sleep when he kept slogging us forward?

  I loosened my grip on his jacket. Well, tried to. My fingers wouldn’t unclench.

  I tugged.

  He kept going.

  The warmth beckoned. I could just sleep for a couple minutes.

  Hauk continued moving forward.

  My irritation grew.

  I clenched my j
aw and, gathering the last of my energy, yanked my hand from his jacket.

  Success! I sank to my knees, my gaze on the white ground where I intended to make my bed.

  “Elin . . .” Someone was calling me. Hands moving over me. I brushed them away.

  “Too tired,” I mumbled. Or maybe I just thought it. My lips were too heavy to move.

  Then I was up and swinging through the air. I landed against something solid and warm.

  Ooh yes. A purr of contentment escaped my lips. Finally, I’d found the warmth I sought.

  My body rocked back and forth—a gentle swaying that promised sleep and a respite from the endless cold.

  I snuggled against the warmth. Black covered my vision.

  Maybe I’m already asleep.

  The swaying continued, and the rock at my back seemed to pulse with a steady, comforting rhythm.

  After a while, my heart matched its pace.

  Whatever the sound was, it couldn’t be bad.

  I sighed and let the beat carry me off to sleep.

  14

  My face was hot.

  I squinted. Wait, no, I didn’t.

  Because my eyes were closed. Opening them seemed like a lot of work, so I let them stay shut.

  Except my face was really hot. Not my whole face, just the left side.

  Which was kind of weird.

  And something smelled amazing. My stomach rumbled.

  Shit. I was probably going to have to open my eyes. How else was I going to find the source of the amazing smell?

  There was a faint shuffling sound, like a person walking across a stone floor. That’s what it sounded like when someone crossed the floor at Bjørneskalle.

  Oh no. Was I back at the castle? Because I was supposed to be somewhere else . . . In my mind, I reached for the place, but it remained just out of reach. Frustration swept me.

  The shuffling happened again, closer this time.

  No, not closer. Louder. Because my hearing was returning.

  Slowly, my senses cleared, my consciousness going from a dreamlike state to full awareness. I opened my eyes and gazed at a . . . stone ceiling?

  I sat up—

  —and the blanket covering me fell to my waist, exposing my breasts.

  I gasped and snatched it back up, pressing it to my throat. My heart pounded. After a second, I pulled the blanket away and peered down my body.

  Yep. I was bare-ass naked.

  “Elin?”

  I slammed the blanket back to my chest.

  Hauk stood on the other side of a roaring fire, a plate of food in his hands. Behind him, rough stone walls revealed we were in some kind of cave. He’d removed his coat and boots, wearing just his body-hugging long underwear. The material clung to his chest and thighs, revealing the muscle beneath. His hair was tied high on his head, the topknot damp and darker than usual.

  He started toward me. “You okay?”

  “Stop!”

  He stopped, alarm on his face.

  “What happened to my clothes?”

  His features relaxed. “Oh. They’re drying.” He jerked his head toward a spot past the fire. “It should only take another hour or so.”

  I followed his gesture. Sure enough, my gear was spread over a flat expanse of rock—everything from my jacket to my socks and the black thong I’d pulled from my duffel that morning. My cheeks heated, the right side of my face now just as hot as the left.

  Hauk rounded the fire, his expression one of someone approaching a wounded animal in the wild. His feet were bare—and, naturally, his toes were elegant and well-formed. Because he couldn’t have just one ugly feature. Of course not. That would have meant there was justice in the universe.

  He crouched at my side and lowered the plate to the ground. “You should eat. We burned a ton of calories today.”

  “What happened?”

  Understanding lit his gaze. “You got hypothermia. It’s my fault. I should have layered you up with more gear. I think your dryad blood might have had something to do with it. You crave light and warmth.”

  Annoyance buzzed in my mind. Since when was he an expert on dryads? “I grew up in Norway. It’s hardly known for its abundance of light and warmth.”

  He frowned. “I just meant the extreme cold might affect you more. And this is no ordinary cold. Didn’t you feel it?”

  “I felt really freaking cold, yeah.”

  “No, it was more than that. The storm out there is beyond anything natural. Radegast must have bespelled this whole area.”

  Great. I pressed a flat palm against my chest, holding the blanket there. “Why couldn’t we just portal straight to his fortress? We have the coordinates.”

  Hauk shook his head. “He’s set traps everywhere. That’s one of the things I learned when I researched him.” He looked around the cave. “I got us as close as I could without alerting him. We’ll have a bit of a walk in the morning, but it shouldn’t be anything like today.”

  “You plan to sleep here tonight?”

  He looked at me. “Well, yeah. Unless you want to try breaching his fortress in the dark. Besides, you need to rest.” He gulped. “You scared me, Elin. For a while there, I wasn’t sure I could feel your heart beating. Your skin was like ice when I brought you in here.”

  He would know, considering he’d stripped me naked. Had he looked at me? Done a little assessing of my chances of seducing Radegast?

  “I’d like something to wear,” I said.

  “You can’t put wet things back on right now.”

  “Then give me something of yours.”

  He looked startled. “You want me to take my shirt off?”

  “It’s better than wearing a blanket! I can’t believe you”—I lowered my voice as embarrassment crashed over me—“you took all my clothes off!”

  “I had to.” Two spots of color appeared high on his cheeks. He lowered his gaze to my chest, as if he couldn’t help it, then jerked his gaze off to my right. “I had to rub the circulation back into your limbs.”

  He’d rubbed me? Naked? I pointed across the fire. “I want you to go stand over there.”

  “You’re joking.”

  “Go!”

  He clenched his jaw, then stood and stalked to the other side of the fire. “You’re being ridiculous. I was trying to save your life. There wasn’t anything sexual about it.”

  “You could have left my underwear on.”

  “Don’t be a child, Elin.”

  Outrage surged in my throat, nearly choking me. I scrambled to my feet. “You have a lot of nerve calling me a child!”

  “Oh yeah? Then don’t act like one.”

  I took a few steps around the fire. “Like you’re some beacon of maturity.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You know what it means.”

  He rested his fingertips on his hips. He should have looked ridiculous, standing there in skin-tight long underwear.

  But he didn’t. Which just made my anger burn higher.

  “No, I really don’t,” he said, sarcasm heavy in his voice. “Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  My cheeks blazed, but I didn’t care. I lifted my chin. “You masturbated in front of me last night. You call that mature?”

  A humorless smile touched his lips. “You can call it whatever you want. All I know is you loved it.”

  My gasp was loud in the cave. “I did not.”

  “You did.” He raked his eyes down my body in a deliberate slide. “And you were so wet I could practically smell it.”

  The air shifted. It seemed to grow thicker, as if it had a pulse. The atmosphere seemed to buzz with an electrical charge.

  It was primal. Unruly and wild.

  It had consequences. As if Hauk and I were on the edge of something inevitable.

  And the air itself knew it.

  My heart pounded against my fist holding the blanket. The air danced over my skin, faint flashes of power licking at my arms, my legs, my chest.
/>   I drew an unsteady breath as I met Hauk’s stare. “You flatter yourself. I didn’t want it, and I don’t want you.”

  He stepped toward me, and a dangerous light entered his eyes. “Oh, you fucking did. And you fucking do.”

  I clutched the blanket tighter over my breasts. “Do not.” Even as I said it, images from the shower flashed in my mind. Heat blossomed low in my belly.

  “You do.” He took another step, his lips curved in a wicked smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You little liar.”

  I backed up. “Stop that.”

  He kept coming. Beside us, the fire crackled and danced. He lowered his voice. “You were aching for it, Elin.” He lowered his gaze to my thighs. “You wanted me inside you.”

  My nostrils flared. “You’re wrong.” But my voice was weak and breathless. Between my legs, moisture gathered.

  “I bet,” he said, still stalking me, “if I pulled that blanket aside, I’d find you wet and aching for it right now.”

  “You wouldn’t. I-I mean, I’m n-not.”

  “Prove it.”

  I took another step back, my bare feet sliding against rock. “You’re crazy.”

  “Yeah.” He gave a huff of laughter. “You’re probably right about that. I’ve felt crazy since the day we met.” He drew closer, and lightning flared in his eyes. “Crazy about you.”

  I stopped. My nipples ached. The fire blew warm air up the blanket, teasing at my damp sex.

  “Take off that blanket,” he said, tiny forks of electricity sizzling across his irises—a reminder that he wasn’t just Crom Cruach’s son. His mother had felled armies. Had stalked across ancient battlefields, lightning webbing the sky above her.

  Now, the son of a god and a legendary berserker had me in his sights.

  I swallowed. “No.”

  He put his shoulders back, his chin lifted. With the flames dancing beside us, he looked every bit as proud and haughty as his father.

  And just as dangerous.

  “Take it off.”

  My limbs seemed to move of their own accord. Slowly, I loosened my grip on the blanket. The fabric slipped to the ground. I let my arms fall to my sides.

  He took his time looking me over. Starting with my feet, he drew his gaze up my body, pausing at the secret spot between my legs.

  Warmth surged there, and I bit back a whimper.