The Tangled Tree

by S. K Munt

  ‘No!’ I cried again, backing away from her more rapidly now, heartsick in the terminal sense. That’s why he had been looking at me the way he had been- he’d been waiting for me to recognise his costume out of one of my favourite books! But how could I have? The only pictures I’d ever seen of the old south had been ones of cotton fields, negro slaves and the occasional plantation home! Never an officer of the Confederate army! ‘No! Oh Karol you stupid, impulsive…’ I pressed my furnace-hot hands to my face and screamed. ‘When will this torture end?’

  I couldn’t believe it. I’d finally brought an end to the Barachiel monopoly over the third-borns of the world, but in doing so, I’d also killed the only man in the world that might have actually loved me in the way I needed to be loved- freely. My heart turned to ashes and my soul with it. I wasn’t a duckling or a swan now- I was fallen, and there was no coming back from that.

  Ora cupped my shoulders, staring at me aghast as I sobbed. ‘Get a hold of yourself! I know you’re upset right now but if anyone has the ability to see you rise above this awful business it is…’ her eyes darted to the right then, her slanted eyebrows furrowing together when she finally seemed to notice the smouldering curtains flapping about in the breeze that was now rushing through the broken window. ‘Oh my gosh, what happened to the window?’ her delicate features were awash with confusion as she turned back to frown at me, as though finally seeing me clearly- the feathers, the blood that had started running down my face again, distorting my vision- the anguish that had to be written all over my face. ‘Larkin…why is there a gun out?’ she swallowed hard and then narrowed her eyes at me. ‘Larkin: Where’s Karol?’

  ‘I’m sorry…’ my throat was so tight that the words ached more than my brand did. I pried her hands off me and placed the ring in her hand, squeezing it closed around it. ‘Like I said… it should have been you!’

  ‘But-’ her face contorted again as she stared at me. ‘Are your tears… is that…?’

  ‘He gr-grabbed me, just like the others!’ I mewled. ‘I thought his letter a th-threat… and I.. I…’ Footsteps filled the hallway, joined swiftly by furious, frantic voices, cutting me off from making my confession- that I’d killed the only man that may have actually loved me in a way that counted. A shiver raced through me as her suddenly cold, desolate grey eyes read the truth in mine, and she stumbled back, looking more scared of me than I was sure I had of Satan.

  ‘No…’ Ora shook her head, hugged herself as her face collapsed. ‘Oh no, Larkin…’ she looked to the gun, and then back at me. ‘You didn’t hurt him, did you?!’

  ‘She must be up here!’ a man cried.

  ‘Prince Karol was pushed from his own window, there’s no other explanation!’ that was Amelia-Rose, and that was enough to send me staggering back towards the window now. I bumped into a box, looked into it and saw fourteen more scrolls, remembered what I had come here to do and pointed my finger at them, incinerating the contents of the entire trunk in one go. It should have felt amazing, and yet I couldn’t feel my fire or my triumph.

  ‘I am what they made me,’ I whispered, ‘I cannot change that- but I am sorry for it.’

  And then I turned and dove out the open window and started falling as Ora began to scream. The ground rushed up to meet me and when I saw the way that Karol’s body was sprawled out on the blood splattered pavement- twisted and motionless on the dark ground and practically covered in shattered glass and the people crowding around him, I screamed in anguish. Like startled insects the people looked up at me and then scattered, their mouth’s open in O’s of horror, their eyes white and wide behind their masquerade masks, and it made me feel heinous. But my fear of crashing into them and hurting yet another innocent gave me a surge of energy that swept through me, tensing muscles I’d never used before along my spine.

  One moment I’d been about to smash flat a horrified-looking little boy, and the next I was sweeping up into the dark sky and away from them, too fast and erratically for me to hope to have any control over my other limbs, which were freezing quickly due to the icy air outside. When I realised that I was about to perform a loop that would surely send me crashing into the ground again- only upside down this time- I crunched at the waist to prevent myself from flipping feet over head, and then dove forward sharply, hearing the crowd below collectively gasp or sob every time I changed direction, reacting to my clumsy flying the way one would watch a first-time rider mount a steed and then fumble at the reigns.

  Yes that was how I was handling my wings- like a tiny clown from the old world being bucked off an angry bull in a rodeo, and embarrassment made my cheeks flush despite how frigid the air was. Was it not bad enough that I was doing this is my lingerie and a skirt, or that I had just killed the only Barachiel that I should have let live… now I had to be humiliated too? I probably looked like a rag doll caught up in a whirly wind!

  I was plummeting towards the ground fast now, but I gritted my teeth and called on those unfamiliar muscles along my spine again, setting my eyes on Lady Liberty across the expansive lawn to give myself direction before I tried again. My wings flapped once, hard after I willed them to and I levitated up once more and finally began to coast forward in a straight line off inertia alone, exhaling a rush of misty breath. Realising that the air was as pressurised as water against my wings, and that flying seemed to require the same sort of effort that swimming did, I pressed my ankles together so the rest of my limbs would stop jerking about straightened my arms before me, which smoothed my passage through the air for a few seconds and actually elicited a relieved sigh off someone below me. Somewhat bemused to realise that at least one person on that lawn didn’t want to see me crash land on Eden’s manicured lawn, I glance slightly to my left, and almost dropped my face when I saw the crowd of people thrashing against the fence in the distance.

  ‘She’s FREE!’ someone hooted, throwing a hat into the air and causing me to suck in a gasp of icy air that my lungs needed but protested against. It was like I’d breathed in a blizzard, extinguishing all of my heat and power. Was this my weakness… the cold? Funny, I’d never felt it while I’d kept my fire inside me, but now my teeth chattered hard enough to snap.

  ‘Liber-ty! Liber-ty!’ others were chanting, and now that I was closer to the rear fence than I was to the palace, I realised that there were a lot more than a few people on my side- but what looked like hundreds! Not just pressed against the exterior perimeter fence in the wildwoods (how had they managed to clear such a broad area amongst those trees?!) but on the walkway that snaked a path between Eden’s fence and the Banished one- actual Arcadian citizens rejoicing my exit, not just outlaws! There were guards positioned all along the interior fence with rifles aimed out at the crowd, but all of them were watching me too- and one or two seemed to be smiling!

  Oh my God! What’s come over them? Can’t they see that my wings are black? Don’t they know that I am damned?

  I wanted to go to them so badly- to find out what it was that they wanted from me, but I dipped sharply to the right then, and surprise made my body flinch. I’d known that flying would be wonderful (and it was, in a way) and difficult, but I hadn’t expected it to feel this unstable, and when I glanced back beside me and saw my wings were shivering- and coming loose like a cloud of ash behind me, I realised that my fall was more than fated- it was imminent. Just like Satan I’d sinned beyond the point of redemption and now I would be a flightless bird until I died. I’d made it this far, but if I wanted to make it to the tidal fall, then I was going to have to think and act quickly before my wings disintegrated completely, trapping me on this side of the fence.

  Sobbing and trying desperately to control my chattering teeth, but slightly more in control of myself now and prepared for any matter of things to go wrong, I fisted my hands and shot them behind me, undulating my body as I aimed my nose at Liberty’s torch, rather than at her head now that I saw that I was more likely to end up impaled on one of her spikes than I was to land on the
sharply angled back of her head. I lifted like I was riding a wave and saw all at once that if I was going to land on such a small area then I was going to have to stop my forward momentum now, so I straightened and then thrust back my arms at my sides, spanning out my fingers and sobbing in relief when with a whoosh and a hiss, my trembling wings opened up like a sail that closed in around my shoulders, resisting the wind. The cage around her torch rattled and bowed when I crashed into it, and although I was shocked and disorientated, I found the strength to wrap my fingers around the guardrail as my slippery, completely ridiculous high heels kicked out, searching for a foothold. I managed to locate one as the air battered me and the cries from below rose in a crescendo of surprise, but it was so slippery that for a moment, I was certain that I was about to fall to my death in front of them all. It was just too slick and the breeze was so strong- I was aching all over and trying to spit my hair out of my mouth as the wind whipped it into a frenzy… but before I could just give up and let go, I felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist and yank me over the side and onto the copper platform behind the intricate railing with an unceremonious thud.

  Winded I looked up into the face of my saviour, and actually coughed out a laugh when I saw the beautiful woman kneel before me and open her arms.

  ‘You’re such a fighter!’ Satan whispered, wrapping me in an embrace that was destined to be an eternal one. ‘How can you imagine that you have what it takes to end your life, Larkin? You were born to start a revolution, not cower in the shadows!’

  In response- I punched her in the face.

  32.

  Satan threw back her head after I’d struck her and for a moment I perked up, believing that she was as easy to overpower as any other mortal woman… but then I realised that she was laughing, not groaning or crying, and my triumphant smirk became a scowl. ‘Oh don’t look at me like that! I call you a fighter, and you strike me- despite the fact that I’m thousands of years old and almost as strong as God. It’s funny!’

  ‘Almost as strong as God,’ I hissed, shaking out my now-aching fist. punching her had been like punching iron. ‘Not so strong that you don’t still come running to teenage girls for help, though!’

  Satan sighed. ‘That mouth of yours… I’m surprised you’ve lived this long. But you have, and if we want to keep it that way, we need to fly out of this place now! So for the millionth time, child, please take my hand-’

  ‘No!’ I turned my face away and tried to fight my way out from underneath her wings. ‘Stop offering me your hand when we both know you’re asking for so much more! I won’t be responsible for ruining the world and bringing you back to life!’

  ‘I have been brought back to life already, and it was not just your doing, little dove- but theirs, look!’ Satan lifted her wing and pointed towards the fence, steering me that way by grasping my branded bicep which ceased to hurt the moment her touch flashed ice-cold against it.

  ‘The people?’ I sniffled, shivering as her raised wing had allowed the freezing night air to rush over me again. ‘But they love God! I am in this mess because they’ve allowed his word to be translated into twisted, but apparently well-meaning laws again!’

  ‘Not the people, look at the harem!’ she turned me further and when I saw the violent blaze licking along the northern wing, I cried out in fear. It wasn’t just on fire now, it was an actual inferno! And I had done that!

  Oh God what if T’are and Constance didn’t get out?

  ‘… I needed people to call to me- to pledge themselves to me to empower me with the strength I needed to force my way back into this world in this form, and when you appealed to me so you brought me close, but not enough to tip the scales.’ She twirled, making a big shop of inhaling the night air deeply and beaming at me after, fluttering her own wings. ‘But when you shattered the hearts and the minds of the Barachiels tonight, I am the one that they called to in their hour of need, to gift them what God had not! Not just Kohén when that chandelier fell upon him, and not just Kohl when he caught alight- but all of them! Well, except Karol and Elijah, I suppose, but three Nephilim pleas for my assistance in addition to yours and those of the Banished at the fence? That sufficed, and now look at me, walking the earth again, with my sweet protégé at my side!’

  ‘I am not at your side, and I hate you for not telling me what would happen!’ I cried, forcing her hands off me. ‘I should have been told that I was Nephilim! I should have been told about the flames! I should have been told that Kohl would turn on me so and I definitely should have been warned about Karol!’

  ‘I did not know about anything except for your potential, I could not see into their hearts and minds before it was too late for me!’ Satan protested, looking wounded. ‘A potential that I knew would get you bound and gagged in a cold, wet place if it was discovered before the door was unlocked! But so long as you interpreted your power as your pain, you did what you could to swallow it down and keep it concealed and that has prolonged your life- not shortened it.’

  ‘But you said that it was too late for Kohl and that I would kill myself!’ I reminded her, giving her an odd look when she reached forward and tenderly stroked my hair. ‘So you must have known a lot more than you let on!’

  ‘Only what might happen to you! Every time you were hurt, I’d have a glimpse of your future and every time I saw it, you were on the edge of that tidal fall, silently cursing Kohén, then Karol- and then finally Kohl, which shocked even me.’ She released my hair and stroked a finger beneath my chin next and I shivered at the glee in her eyes and the feel of her very mortal touch. ‘Every time you leapt onto those rocks it was because another one of them had hurt you somehow, only I did not know why or how! The clearest vision I got was of Kohén and Kohl leading you into that dungeon room, and before I could see anything else, you blocked me out! If you’d just taken me into you, I would have been able to control your power and manipulate the situation to your advantage, but you refused to meet me halfway!’

  ‘Because I don’t want to be responsible for your continued existence!’ I sobbed, backing away from her and treading on my own shedding feathers, which were flying about in the wind now. Satan bent and picked one up, pressing it to her face and inhaling it deeply- and it was then that I realised that she was probably touching things on Earth with her own fingertips for the first time in over six-hundred years- and enjoying it immensely. ‘Even though I am hurt, even though I am desolate and filled with hate- I do not want to be responsible for instigating hell on earth for all of these innocent people! And Karol…’ I looked back to the crowd of people that were weeping around him as they lifted his shattered body off the ground. ‘He did not deserve that end, Satan!’

  ‘Neither did Hell!’ Satan snarled, advancing on me again. ‘But no one was there to protect him from his feelings for Heaven!’

  ‘Just like no one was there to protect Heaven from the way everyone treated her, just because she was that little bit more special, than God’s own descendants,’ my voice broke. ‘The tragedy is not that they are dead, Satan- it is that your hate has kept them separated for an eternity, when they could have spent it together if you’d just taken God’s hand instead of questing for mine! Forgive him, already!’ I pleaded. ‘Forgive him and be done with this!’

  Satan’s eyes flashed. ‘Fine, I’ll forgive God,’ she wet her dark lips and smiled a pointy smile, like a serpent, ‘just show me how, by marching back in there and forgiving Kohl and Kohén for how they have treated you.’

  I shrank back, feeling that coal heat up in my chest again. ‘Never!’

  ‘That’s what I thought.’ Satan rested against the railing, staring out at the dark ocean behind us, her eyes undulating in shades of black and grey as the waves did. ‘As cold and scary as the darkness can be… it always manages to feel safer than the light, doesn’t it? Light is fleeting, and warmth is an awful thing to be deprived of once you’ve become accustomed to basking in it… Why opt to strive for that fleeting light offered by love, w
hen hate is so much more constant and dependable?’ She slid her gaze back to me and smiled sadly. ‘That’s why you want to die, isn’t it? Not because you hate life, but because you fear losing it so. As a third-born slave, the only thing that has ever been in your control has been your own welfare, yes? This week that control was taken from you, and so it is the only time that you have ever truly felt the harsh bite of misery in that perfect, hopeful, forbearing heart of yours, isn’t it? The first time that you ever truly believed that your own destiny was out of your hands?’ She saw the agreement in my eyes and straightened. ‘Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not, Larkin. Your heart is so much stronger and lighter than you believe it is- and because of that, you still have the potential to make everything you’ve ever dreamed of come true! That brand hasn’t trapped you- it’s unlocked the true you! And all you have to do to see who that is, is fly freely with me now, and listen to me for once!’

  ‘With withered wings?’ I asked her. ‘Those you cannot repair, I know that- and you cannot reverse the damage done to my heart. There is too much hate in it for me to go on.’

  ‘That’s not true!’ she cried. ‘I told you, I could make you happy! You will forgive me, and the Barachiel’s eventually and every other person that has ever wronged you because you will rise above them all-’

  ‘But I’ll never forgive myself,’ I whispered softly, my hand tightening around the rail. ‘For all the things I’ve done tonight- for all of the pain and death I’ve caused… I cannot live with that. It is I that I despise, Satan- not you, and not the world.’

  Her features contorted. ‘But you can’t leave those feelings behind either, Larkin! If you die now before having done enough good to make up for all you have done wrong, you will be held accountable for them, and it will be torturous! You can trust me on that, for I am the one that will have to oversee your torture! I cannot change that any more than I can heal your wings, even if I desperately want to!’