The Tangled Tree

by S. K Munt

  ‘I want Karol to be revived,’ I whispered quietly, and Satan sucked in a breath. ‘Completely, one hundred percent restored to how he was before I burned him tonight, no matter what it takes!’

  ‘Oh, Lark, no! Do you think he’ll wake up like the princess in a fairytale and come bounding after you to propose a second time?’ Satan demanded, incredulous. ‘He’ll detest you! He thinks you’re demonic!’

  ‘Perhaps, but I know that he is not, and that’s what counts!’ I glanced back at the wave, heart racing more swiftly to see it cresting with silvery white water. ‘Elijah’s gone, which leaves his throne up for grabs and I will NOT see Kohl’s backside upon it! Karol must live- as he was, you hear me? No tricks! No undead corpse staggering about- as he was!’

  ‘Fine! Done!’ Satan shook my arms. ‘Hurry with the others! Now! Like I said, I’m not a genie- there is only so much control that I have over you until your free will is given! Finish wishing quickly, or never will I get the chance to start granting them!’

  ‘Then I want Kohén to fall out of love with me!’ I exclaimed, beginning to brace myself for the wave to hit us. ‘If he’s going to live, then I can’t bear to think of him mourning what we had and how we hurt one another forever! I hate who he has become, but I will always carry a torch for the boy he was, so I want his perfect heart restored to how it was at the age of five, before I came into the picture so I can see with my own eyes, who he would have become if the harem hadn’t messed with his head so! He must see all that I have done, and move past his obsession- and fall as hard for the next wonderful girl he meets with an unblemished heart!’ I saw Satan open her mouth to protest again so I rushed on: ‘And finally, I wish for equality on earth!’

  Satan’s eyes bugged. ‘That I cannot grant! Do you think we’d be in this position if I could? God decided how man would be made differently from one another, and as you so kindly pointed out earlier, I am not even equal to God!’

  ‘Surely there’s-’

  ‘No, I’ve tried! Choose a different third wish Larkin, because if it’s not within my capacity, it will be wasted!’

  I gulped when I saw the wave but really, I already knew what I wanted- what I’d been prepared to live and die for. There were other things I wanted- for Kohl’s wish to be rendered null and void so that he’d be tarred and feathered by his people, not loved, and for the Given caste to be eliminated, but they were too limiting- they would only fix part of a problem, not the whole problem, and if I was who I’d been told I was, then it was very possible that maybe I’d be able to fix those problems, and more, with a bit of hard work and focus. ‘I wish to be free forever!’ I whispered quickly, looking back at the people wading into the shallows, searching for my body. ‘Never again will I be owned by ANYBODY, locked up or forced to act against my will!’

  ‘All that you have asked for will be done!’ Satan crowed, and then, I felt an ungodly pain began to stab at my lower legs. ‘But first, you must fulfil my first request- by going to HELL!’

  I tried to scream, but the air was sucked out of my lungs and replaced with water as a liquid tornado swirled in the water around me and spiralled me down into the inky depths of it.

  34.

  I don’t know how long I spiralled through the black water for, but eventually I was blasted out against the hard ocean floor that was just light enough to see in so fast that it knocked the water out of my lungs- and caused me to open my mouth in a scream that immediately saw them inflated again.

  Oh God! She went through all of this just to kill me anyway? That must have been her on the cliff, not Martya! She was appealing to my vanity- trying to make me want to live so that she could snatch that from me again! Demon! She’s trying to make me hate life until I hate God! Well too late!

  I grunted as my lungs were filled to the point of bursting while pain ripped through my lower body again. I tried to kick my legs, to thrash the agony out, but when I looked down I was astounded to see that they’d become one! Not just one appendage but a distinct one- a scaly tail!

  I’m a mermaid now? One that’s drowning? That’s her idea of Hell?

  ‘For a claustrophobic like yourself that is weakened by water? Yes! You’re not supposed to cry in grief, remember little one? That was one of the first rules you learned- and the first you broke and have consistently broken since! You hurt God with your tears- you weakened him and now, the weight of them will weaken you while you are held accountable for your other crimes against God and your fellow man!’ Satan snapped inside my mind, and when I tried to move, I realised that she was right- the ocean filling my mouth tasted exactly like my tears, and having my legs seared together like that was making me feel even more panicky than the pressure in my lungs was so this probably the most fitting punishment for me. ‘That’s what Hell is all about, remember? Being punished for what we did wrong in life! You wanted death and equality more than anything else, Larkin, so don’t curse me for your current terror- I’m giving you only what you asked for! The death you deserve, and the punishment that every other human would receive in hell in your place!’

  Why? I tried to bring in my legs- to shoot up towards the surface again using the tail to propel me, but suddenly things were wrapping themselves around my fluke and wrists and I was being pulled back down! My eyes bugged and my heart began to grow faster and weaker- I would explode! I would explode soon, but at least I would be done, right? I wanted to be calmed by the knowledge that I had wanted this- but I had not. Why beg for me to live if you only wanted me to die anyway?

  ‘God’s not the only one that works in mysterious ways! And why would I answer your questions now, curious little kitty, when I know that unanswered questions will enhance your torment so?’ Satan jeered, as seaweed continued to sprout out of the sand and weave around me, anchoring me to the ocean floor. ‘Welcome to accountability, Larkin Whittaker! Welcome to the other side of life! You have asked for so much love and yet, you have caused so much heartbreak! So as your introduction to hell… I ask you to now feel what Kohén, Kohl and Karol suffered over you returned to you now, little swan, and if you survive that, we will move on!’ she chuckled. ‘Just be warned, I do like to compound the damage done in life by ten in the afterlife, just to make sure that a lesson is learned- so there is a good chance that you won’t survive long enough to be repaid for your next sin- lust!’

  I tried to scream when I felt the oxygen sucked out of my lungs, but it was too late for that so all I could do was choke and smack my useless tail against the bottom of the ocean floor as my lungs contracted like a stampede of horses were being driven over me.

  My heart! I thought wildly as I thrashed about. Oh God, it hurts! It hurts it hurts it HURTS!

  ‘It smarts doesn’t it?’ Satan hissed inside my mind. ‘The breathlessness, the racing heart, the fear, the hurt- the PAIN! You have made the men that cared for you feel this time and time again with your indecision, and you think yourself the only one wronged when you are on the receiving end of it? You call me wicked? When my feathers were white, all Miguel knew was my devotion, whereas all Kohén has known from you was Miguel’s indecision! I think it’s funny, of course and well deserved, but that doesn’t let you off the hook with me or God!’

  It was so painful that I immediately began wishing for death to return to me, but she kept me conscious enough to feel every heart contraction, so I grasped at fistfuls of sand as what felt like every inch of pressure in the ocean pressed down upon me. I wanted to be astonished to think that I’d caused any one person this much grief at one point (even divided by ten!) and cry about how unfair it was for me to be subjected to punishment for an ailment that I’d also suffered, but I hadn’t the self possession to even do that so I gasped and choked and sobbed and ripped at the sand. I could not breathe and could not think- all I could do was sob out bubbles and writhe while an icy fist clamped down around my heart and as visions of the Barachiel men’s tormented expressions flitted before my eyes- still images from memories that I’d alway
s avoided reflecting upon. Kohén after he kissed me for the first time and I mocked him- Kohén when he saw me wrapped around Kohl before his birthday, Kohl when he saw me giggle and flirt with Kohén in Pacifica, Kohén when Kelia had shown him the letters from me! I’d not even been present for that one but I saw it now- felt his terror and the harsh kick of my betrayal, square to his- and my- heart. Karol when I’d called him a rapist and finally, Karol when I’d set him on fire.

  Their pain had always hurt me, but now I felt every ounce of suffering they’d experienced over me even when I hadn’t been around to witness it, and so their torment became my torment- hundreds of little moments poured into one funnel and shoved down my throat. So many images of my haughty, retreating figure shown through Karol’s stinging eyes while he pressed a healing hand to his own wounded heart through his chest- and countless nights that Kohén had spent sobbing into his pillow! Even the moments I’d faked- mostly moments from the past week when I’d reached for Kohén to make a point of it to Kohl to save him assailed me until eventually, I started trying to scream again and eventually succeeded, the sound tearing out of me in a cascade of bile-flavoured bubbles.

  I’m sorry! I raged at everyone and no one. I’m so sorry! But you hurt me too!

  ‘That they did, and to be fair- you gave the boys their fair share of thrills too… thrills I myself have always been happy to dole out…’ Satan drawled as the ocean began to slowly morph from blue, to purple, ‘kisses that were stolen, heavy breathing that fogged windows… the incredible sensation of being touched, and taunted and teased…’ the colour lightened from amaranthine to deep pink and my heart began to throb so loudly that it was almost all I could hear. I was now so desperate for breath that it felt like I was going to be able to float free of my binds- but then they began to writhe more fluidly around me, touching places on me that stiffened and ached and throbbed in response. ‘Lust…such a beautiful thing when sated- but such a hideous ache when one is left wanting!’ I opened my eyes wide and looked down at myself and cringed when I saw that the seaweed had become vines that were now exploring me as intimately as Kohén’s hands had. They slid under my corset, popping it free, and then began to caress my breasts slimily, feeling more like Kohl’s clumsy ones in a matter of moments. I watched my undergarment float away, panic rising when I felt those vines begin to slither around my neck and nibble at the place where my scales met my lower abdomen, seeking entrance but finding none. ‘And you left them wanting, Larkin! Time and time again! You wielded your beauty like a weapon and cried foul when they tried to disarm you! Scarlett O’Hara of Eden, you were, but cornered little bird you claimed to be… were they solely responsible for what happened tonight? Fiddle-de-dee!’

  Stop! Stop, STOP! I cried silently as that thing began to strum against me rhythmically, making my sex hum despite my desperation to drop dead.

  “Fuck me Kohén- now! Fuck me twice before you must leave me!” Satan mocked me and when I moaned, she laughed. ‘Don’t misunderstand me Larkin- lust is my favourite sin and certainly the one that comes most naturally- but God’s not a fan of it, and it’s one of the many things about himself that he cast off into Hell, I’m afraid, so you must be punished for giving in to yours!’ Something forced its way into my open, silently screaming mouth then and I felt my entire body shudder as the vine that had wound around my neck suddenly slammed between my teeth and down my throat. At the same moment, the others all tightened around me, constricting like thread around a bobbin. ‘I know it’s not fair to be punished for something you were born with when you were made in God’s image, but even I must admit that you would have avoided tragedy if you had had a tail keeping those shapely legs shut over this past year!’

  ‘Fuck you!’ I raged at her silently. ‘Fuck all of you twice! I was trained to do that and I am NOT-’ I hacked and gagged and felt my eyes roll violently back into my head- but then suddenly the vine jabbed into my lungs, popping something in there until the water rushed out of me like a geyser. I sat up, vomiting water for what felt like forever on a cold, hard floor, my body heaving with it but contorting freely because the vines had vanished.

  Kill me! Kill me now! I begged her, spitting out sand and broken fragments of shells. Because if I survive this for another minute longer I’m going to find a way to kill YOU!

  ‘Oh, that temper!’ Satan chortled as the suddenly cold, cavernous space around us transitioned from pink to red. The water was only spluttering out of me now, allowing me to breath again, but I was exhausted and aching, still stuck in the tail, soaking wet and feeling like I had been raped. I tried to calm myself, but every snatch of breath that I sucked up was a sharp rasp in my ears and when I tried to roll over onto all fours, I cried out in pain and collapsed, realising only then that the bone in my left wrist had snapped, as had the bone in my right arm- injuries that had probably been sustained when I’d plummeted off the tidal fall, but hadn’t noticed until now due to shock and exposure. I’d not even felt them before but they burned now, making the muscles around them throb painfully. And my wings- when I twisted to regard them I sobbed, for they resembled charred Spiderwebs wrapped around broken sticks now.

  ‘I’ve run out of tears to return to you, but we’re not even close to being done yet, so let’s move onto your anger!’ Satan clucked her tongue. ‘So many things you’ve screamed at people, Larkin- so many feelings hurt and wise-cracks pelted like stones! Oh yes by human, third-born standards you were well within your rights to let off a little steam, but God’s perfect beings are not supposed to express hate and you have done so on a daily basis your whole life, so listen to a replay of your rage, endure the physical manifestation of your own anger, and learn from it! Sticks and stones may break bones, but hateful words chop up souls like bullets!’

  The sound started like a whistling wind that was travelling towards me through a crack in a wall some distance way, and before I could prop myself up again, that whistle became a howl and then a scream and then suddenly my ears felt like they were being stabbed at with knives. I shrieked and bowed, trying to curl up into a ball and shield my ears, but my broken limbs wouldn’t cooperate right and suddenly, I felt myself being hit by hard, sharp objects. I peeked up- just in time to see a rock the side of my fist fall down on me, striking me hard in the cheekbone. I wailed and turned my face but another hit me, just another smacked into the centre of what was now my naked back, and a fourth where my calf muscle would have been under the tail. The screaming sound continued as hard objects rained down on me, and I felt my brain and bones begin to turn to thick dust as I was crushed by the wrath that I’d lashed out at others with, tenfold. My bones broke and popped through my skin as Kelia’s had, my teeth disintegrated into chalky fragments and my face was slapped again and again from both sides, to make up for the times that I’d struck Kohén and Karol. I heard voices emerge from the screaming calling me names, but they weren’t other peoples’ voices- they were my own and every word landed like another hurled rock, and ripped a fresh tear through the atmosphere as loud as a whip cracking.

  ‘Liar! Thief! Bastard! Asshole! Rapist! Bitch! Shrew! Weak! Coward! Double-crosser! Spoiled pig! Predator! Son-of-a-bitch!’ the insults rained down upon me until I began to fall apart like my feathers had, and I felt death’s inky tentacles curl around me, tugging me into the descending darkness which suddenly erupted in flames as I was subjected to being burned alive.

  ‘Manslaughter is a funny word, isn’t it?’ Satan asked, her words hissing like steam from a valve, blistering my skin, and suddenly I was gasping for the pain of seeing Karol catch alight and fall back out of that window. Things exploded around me, glass shattered and the atmosphere became a conflagration as the chandelier that I’d dropped on Kohén fell around me, but no matter how much I screamed, Satan’s voice remained steady and cool. ‘How is slaughtering a man different from killing one? Does it hurt less? No. Did you want Karol to survive grabbing you? No, no you didn’t…so I guess you murdered him Larkin, and that’s the wo
rst sin there is, isn’t it? I know better- but God sure thinks so…. so here we go!’

  But I couldn’t respond to her- all I could do was burn.

  I don’t know how much time passed for me in that state, but the punishments continued to change before I’d had the chance to recover from the last. I crawled out of the flames that I’d hurtled at Kohén, Kohl, Karol and Amelia-Rose, and headfirst into a drunken state where all I could do was writhe on the floor, turn and vomit before rolling into it and being sick again. I grew dizzy from the alcohol flooding my mind and nauseous off the stink of bile and sickness- finding relief only from that when I slithered into a crowded room full of masked people and was laughed at for the state I was in- humiliated for all of the times that I had joked at someone else’s expense, or made someone feel foolish. I’d only just deduced that I was being repaid for my sin of pride when the roof above us crashed down, trapping me under a mound of rubble. I was almost too weak to lift even a flaky bit of paint off of me, and yet I had to find a way to emerge from it- to toss shattered bricks and plaster aside while I fought to catch a breath and broke into a prickly sweat, and it didn’t take long for Satan to inform me that I was being held accountable for the times when my depression had led to me having idle hands and a lazy brain- most of which had occurred that past week.

  I’d read about the seven deadly sins before, and though it was evident that I was being punished for most of them as a matter of course, it was clearer that she’d tailored my hellish experience to make amends for everything that I’d ever done wrong so that no stone- or sin- was left unturned or went un-punished. I crawled and flinched and bucked and sobbed my way what felt like a gauntlet of nightmares, and by the time I emerged in quicksand, I knew that my character wasn’t strong enough to endure it, and that I was probably going to suffer like that forever. I wept and closed my eyes as the pungent-smelling stuff filled my mouth and ears, not even having the strength to wonder what I’d done to deserve being smothered alive, just exhaling slowly through my nose and letting it all go, including my rampant curiosity. I’d wanted to die, hadn’t I? That had been my fondest wish and now, it was being granted so how could I be anything but grateful for that?