Can You Hear Me
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lack of, 10, 13–14, 18, 85–104
misinterpretation of, 10, 17, 128,
and memory, 92, 169
133–134
misinterpretation of others’, 9
point of view in, 134–136
neural signature of, 55
practical fixes for, 146–148
projection of, 48–50
rules of writing for, 131–141
recognition of, by computers, 55, 56
things to avoid in, 140–141
similarities in, 55
tone in, 7, 28, 133–134
verbal identification of, 237
when to use, 128–131
in the virtual world, 235–238
emojis, 40, 130–131, 146
empathy
emotional clarity, lack of, 27–42
lack of, 9, 43–64, 96
emotional connection
life cycle online, 50–53
importance of, 91–92
and mirror neurons, 93
lack of, 3–4, 14, 95–96, 100
need for, 47
need for, 14, 47, 106
practical fixes for, 63
restricted, 94
projection of, 48–50
ways to improve online, 100–103
quiz, 60–63
in webinars, 173–176
in written communication,
workings of, 92–94
139–140
See also connection(s)
employee engagement, 106
emotional isolation, 49–50, 90–91,
employees, relationships between,
243–244
106–108
emotional memories, 12–13, 16
engagement
emotional subtext, 34–36
during conference calls, 156–158
emotional truth, 12–13
employee, 106
emotional void, 87–89, 95–96
Estis, Ryan, 224, 225–228
emotions
evolution, 8, 58
basic, 96
expertise, 38, 159, 160, 225–226
and communication, 99–100, 215
explicit feedback, 28–31, 39
during conference calls, 155, 157–158
eye contact, 5, 14–15, 100
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Facebook, 71–72, 245
friendliness, 117
face-to-face communication
friendships, 213. See also relationships body language in, 14, 21, 29, 45, 58,
future predictions, 167–168, 234–235,
59, 86–87, 173
240–246
cues in, 86–87
and depression, 14, 47
emotions in, 6, 12–13
gesture, 58. See also body language establishing relationships
Golden Rule, 66–67, 82
through, 54
Google Hangouts, 143
eye contact in, 5, 14–15, 100
googling yourself, 77–78
as preferred, 7–8
grace of expression, 139–140
richness of, 4
face-to-face conferences, 242–243
face-to-face feedback, 35
happiness, 96
face-to-face meetings, 111, 176, 236, 237
hierarchical thinking, 137–138
face-to-face relationships, 111, 233
hippocampus, 95
fear, 96
holograms, 242
fear of loss, 116–117
honesty, 37
feedback
humanity, 46–47
cheat sheet for, 41
human nature, 75
explicit, 28–31, 39
humans
face-to-face, 35
alikeness of, 55
giver of, 38
communication by early, 12–13
guidelines for, 37–39
craving for connections by, 22,
honest, 37
31, 86
implicit, 28–30, 39
as social animals, 14, 47
kindness in, 37
human voice
lack of, 27–42
in conference calls, 151, 153
negative, 32–34
emotions in, 19–20, 102
practical fixes for, 39–41
quality of, 151, 153
specificity of, 38
on telephone, 98–99
and trust, 30
undertones and overtones in, 18–20,
virtual, 30–34, 37–39
97–99
vulnerability and risk of, 39
humor, 110, 120–122
feedback loops, 118–119
fight-or-flight response, 96
first impressions, 51, 54
images, 80
focus, for webinars, 174–175
imagination, 92, 94
forums, 245–246
implicit feedback, 28–30, 39
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260 Index
information
McCain, John, 20
asymmetrical, 168
MC role
deprivation, 127
for conference calls, 151
overload, 127, 138
importance of, 237
in-person communication. See
for videoconferences, 196, 198
face-to-face communication
for virtual meetings, 63
insecurity, 33
meals, sharing, 113
intentions, 55, 117, 119
meaning, processing of, 7–8, 17
interest, 9
Medina, John, 193–194
internet use, 167, 245
meetings
interviews, 157
face-to-face, 111, 176, 236, 237
job, 204
length of, 9
intimacy, 31, 44
MC or chair for, 63
iPhones, 167
mix of virtual and face-to-face, 196
irony, 120–121
overuse of, 169–170
isolation, 49–50, 90–91, 243–244
tardiness in, 102
issue marketing, 79–80
See also virtual meetings
memories
creation of, 80
job interviews, 204
emotional, 12–13, 16
Jobs, Steve, 167
memory, 137
job security, 108–109
and emotions, 92, 169
jokes, 120
improving, 221–222
joy, 96
mirroring as key to, 222–223
jump-cut stories, 210
as zero-sum game, 137–138
message hierarchy, 130
milestones, 112–113
Kelly, Robert, 191–192
millennials, 239
Klick Health, 142–145
mirroring, 31, 93, 222–223
mirror neurons, 9, 31, 47, 48, 93, 95,
96, 100
language differences, 114
miscommunication, 13
last-minute communication, 129
mission statement, 68–71, 83
leaders
mistakes, responding to, 74
team, 113–114, 239
mobile phones, 4
and vocal undertones, 20–21, 98–99
communication with, 168
loneliness, 4, 33, 213
dependence on, 32–34
long term, 118–120
and depression, 50
lying, in email, 5
iPhone, 167
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morality, 117
taking control of, 72–75, 82–83,
music, in webinars, 178
238–239
online relationships, 43–44,
107–117
; negative interactions, 234
online sales. See sales
negotiation, 96
online teams, 111–115
networking
online values statement, 67–71, 83
and personal brand, 72, 73
openness, 44
in sales, 220–221
opportunity cost, of digital
social, 107–117
communication, 5–6
neurons, mirror, 9, 31, 47, 48, 93, 95,
overexposure, 72
96, 100
overtones, of human voices, 19, 97–99
nomophobia, 4, 32–34
nonverbal communication
in face-to-face communication, 14
Palmer, Chris, 68–70
lack of, in digital communication,
passion, 159, 160
35–36
passivity, danger of online, 76–77
See also body language
pattern recognition, 17, 29
patterns, 8, 12–13
perception, 117
Obama, Barack, 20
perception checks, 196–197, 198
office space, 242
persona. See online persona
online communication. See digital personal brand, 67–68, 72–75, 78,
communication; virtual
80–82
communication
personal connections, 111–112
online networking, 107–117
personal message, 71–72
online persona, 9–10
personal mission statement, 68–71
balance for, 72–73
personal relationships, 106–108
building, 75
personal values, 81
concept of, 47
personal value statement, 67–71, 83
consistency in, 67–68, 74–75
platform, 70–71
danger of passivity toward, 76–77
point of view, 72, 134–136
focus for, 73
politicians, 32
getting started with, 80–82
positional power, 158–159
importance of, 75–76
power
lack of control over online, 65–84
positional, 158–159
preventative maintenance of, 77–78
relationships, 239
refreshing your, 78
predictions, 8, 29
social media, 33
problem identification, 81–82
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262 Index
propriety, in social networking, 110
tips for successful, 224–228
prosodic behaviors, 153
using connections in, 220–221
public conference calls, 150
sales cycle, 214–215, 216
scarcity, 115–116
search engine optimization, 78–80
rants, 81, 141
self-disclosure, 136
rapport, 116, 207
selfies, 213–214
ratings, 115
self-referentialism, 214
reciprocity, 115, 219–220
self-restraint, 130
referrals, 225–226
sensory input, 7, 8–9, 27–42,
relationships
48–49, 193
business, 50–53
short term, 118–120
customer, 118–120, 214–215,
silence, during conference calls,
218–219, 224
154–155
face-to-face, 54, 111, 213, 233
similarity, 116
life cycle of, 50–53
SimpliFlying, 161–164
power, 239
Skype
virtual, 36, 43–44, 65, 106–108, 213,
rules for using, 194–196
216, 233–234
See also videoconferencing
winding down, 53
Slack, 128, 141–145, 196
work, 106–108
smartphones, 32–34, 167. See also
reviews, 115
mobile phones
“right to be forgotten” rules, 67
smiling, when talking, 156
social anxiety, 243–244
social capital, 108–109
safe places, 112
sociality, 117, 119
sales, 213–231
socialization, 154
cheat sheet for, 230
social media, 72
closing, 216, 217
personas, 33
cold calls, 224, 226–228
for webinar follow-up, 184
credibility and trust in, 216–217
social networking
and customer relationships, 214–215,
importance of, 107–109
218–219, 224
tips for, 109–117
and decision-making process, 217–218
social obligation, 5
and mirroring, 222–223
social validation, 115
practical fixes for, 228–230
sonic branding, 178
and reciprocity, 219–220
storytelling, 54–58, 117, 174, 210
referrals, 225–226
subject-matter experts, 225–226
and subject-matter expertise,
successes, celebrating team, 112–113
225–226
suicide, 213
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tact, 37
tweeting, 128–129
target audience, 116
Twitter, 128–129, 177
teams
communication on, 45
face-to-face meetings of, 236
unconscious mind
leaders of, 113–114, 239
and communication, 3
shared activities for, 156
decision making by, 10, 15–17, 56–58
virtual, 111–115
emotional connections needed by, 14
technology
and first impressions, 51
embracing, 238
and identification of human voices,
virtual reality, 240–242
97–98
webinar, 177–178
information gathering by, 91
See also specific types
lack of awareness of, 18
telephone, 18–19, 98–99, 194. See also meaning processing by, 7–8
conference calls; mobile phones
and online world, 58–59
temperature check, 102–103
power of, 19–20
text-based communication, 131–140.
workings of, 15–17
See also email
undertones, of human voices, 19, 97–99
texting, 6, 85, 128
update videos, 122
third-party endorsements,
upselling, 135–136
and sales, 216
user-generated content, 245
tone
communication of, 7
in email, 10, 133–134
values statement, 67–71, 83
transparency, 110, 136, 139, 145, 239
video, 21, 192–194, 237–238
trolling, 11, 30, 32, 34
videoconferencing
trust
agenda for, 201
betrayal of, 119–120
artificiality of, 46
in communications, 74
backup plans for, 201, 206
establishing, 52, 112, 113, 115,
behavior for, 202–206
117–120, 122, 207
breaks in, 199
fragility of, 11, 31, 32, 36
cheat sheet for, 207–210
gaining back after losing, 117–118, 233
facilities for, 192–193
and intentions, 117, 119
group input during, 237
; nature of, 30
lack of cues in, 21–22
and sales process, 216–217, 219
logistics of, 200–202, 203
in virtual world, 105, 216, 233
MC role in, 196, 198
truth, emotional, 12–13
perception checks during,
turn-taking, in videoconferences,
196–197, 198
197–198
practical fixes for, 207–211
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264 Index
videoconferencing ( continued)
virtual reality, 240–242
problems with, 1–3, 7, 199
virtual relationships, 36, 65, 107–117,
rehearsing for, 202–203, 205
213, 216, 233–234
responding during, 196–197
virtual safe space, 63
rules for, 194–196
virtual teams, 111–115
speaking and listening during,
virtual temperature check, 102–103
206–207
virtual world
turn taking in, 196, 197–198
combining with real world, 156
ways to improve, 200–207
diminished humanity in, 46–47
videos, 122, 184
emotions in, 235–236
viral information, 54
future of, 234–235, 240–246
virtual communication
lack of connection in, 53–55, 105–124
breaks in, 236
lack of control in, 65–84
and collaboration, 199
lack of engagement in, 31
downsides of, 1–23
trust in, 32, 233
group input during, 237
vision, 7
guidelines for, 37–39
vocal patterns, 18–21
improving emotional connections in,
voice quality, 151, 153, 159
100–103
vulnerability, 109
lack of sensory feedback in, 8–9, 27–42
misinterpretation of, 28–29
missing cues in, 86–87
warm calls, 224
missing emotions in, 3–4, 13, 14,
warmth, 74, 75
43–64, 85–104
weak-tie friendships, 213, 233–234
tips for improving, 236–238
webinars, 167–189
trends in, 240–246
agenda for, 172
See also specific types
audience interaction in, 181–182
virtual criticism, 89–90
backup speakers, 178
virtual feedback, 30–31, 32–34, 37–39
breaks in, 173
virtual meetings
cheat sheet for, 186–189
decision making in, 94
collaboration in, 173–174
drawbacks of, 169–170, 195–196
focus for, 174–175
group input during, 237
follow-up after, 183–185
MC or chair for, 63
ground rules, 176–177
mixed with face-to-face, 196
group involvement in, 176–177
participation in, 63
media and technology for, 177–178
by publicly traded companies, 174
music for, 178
as second best, 35–37
number of participants in, 175
sharing emotions in, 237–238
overuse of, 169–170
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