Double Trouble

by Jonathan Roth

  “What now?” I said.

  Lani shrugged. “You heard Professor Zoome. Not much we can do until Backward Bob makes a move. In the meantime, we might as well enjoy ourselves. It’s not every day we get to come to such an important educational competition.”

  “Oh, yay,” I mumbled.

  Lani stopped to admire a model of the Empire Space Building. “Ooh, I bet this one has a good chance of winning a ribbon.”

  I caught sight of the Eiffel Space Tower an aisle over. “There he is. Let’s sneak up and surprise him!”

  “No, wait!” Lani cried.

  But I had taken matters into my own hands. I ducked down and approached from behind, and just as he didn’t expect it . . .

  “BOO!” I yelled, jumping out. “Got you!”

  A boy who looked about five years old started to cry. An older girl next to him put her hands on her hips and scowled. “How dare you startle my little brother like that! He worked for weeks on his model, and now you come along to ruin it!”

  “I . . . I’m sorry,” I said. “I thought he was an evil version of me.”

  The girl rolled her eyes. “Sure, that’s what they all say.”

  Lani pulled me away. “I was trying to tell you: There are dozens of Eiffel Space Towers here.”

  I reddened. “Let’s check somewhere else.”

  Fortunately, our luck turned. Out of nowhere I caught a whiff of popcorn! I raised my head. “Look, Beep—snack bar! Let’s go!”

  And we were off!

  A few minutes later, we were catching popcorn kernels in our mouths and keeping an eye out for Backward Bob.

  “Shh,” Lani said. “They’re about to announce the winners.”

  The auditorium lights dimmed, and a voice boomed over the loudspeakers: “Welcome to the Ice Pop Stick Finals, brought to you by ICE-E-POPS brand ice pops, the best frozen treats in the galaxy!”

  “Oooh,” Beep said.

  “While all of the entrants are winners in a small sense,” the announcer said, “only three are actually winners, as chosen by the judges of Planet Pops Incorporated, makers of the best frozen treats in the galaxy!”

  “Ahhh,” Beep said.

  The announcer continued: “The third place Uranium Ribbon goes to: Stella of Starbright Academy, for her model of the Empire Space Building!”

  A spotlight shone on the model and its maker, who was being hugged by all her classmates.

  “Told you that one was good,” Lani said.

  “In second place, a Plutonium Ribbon will be awarded to: Newton of the Lunar Lab School for his model of the Levitating Space Tower of Pisa!”

  “Mmm, pizza,” Beep said.

  “Backward Bob’s entry is as good as those,” Lani said. “If he wins this thing, then we just have to follow the spotlight and we’ll have him.”

  A loud drumroll sounded, and lights flashed in all directions. “And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for: To get your free coupon for ICE-E-POPS brand ice pops, just enter promo code G-O-T P-O-P on our intergalactic website now!”

  Everyone cheered and took out their phones.

  “Oh,” the announcer continued, “and the Platinum Ribbon and special first place trophy goes to Bob of Astro Elementary.”

  Squeals erupted a couple aisles over.

  I pointed. “Let’s get him!”

  Splog Entry #11:

  Ribbon Blues

  Lani, Beep, and I rushed to the spot where the prizewinning Eiffel Space Tower gleamed in the spotlight. Professor Zoome and all my classmates were whooping and clapping. Lucky Backward Bob. Why couldn’t that be me?

  I stopped. “Where is he?”

  Everyone’s clapping slowed. They glanced around, puzzled. A judge held up a sparkly ribbon. “Where is the winner?” she said.

  “No worries, I’m sure he’ll be here momentarily,” Professor Zoome answered before hissing to the class, “Has anyone seen him?”

  “Uh-oh,” Lani said. “I have a bad feeling.”

  “Beep, can you spot him?” I said.

  Beep bounced. “No there.” He turned and bounced again. “No there.” And again. “No there.” Another bounce: “There! There!”

  “Backward Bob?” Lani gasped.

  “Backward Bob-mother and Beep Two at snack bar!” Beep added. “And now they leaving with popcorn bag. Rush to exit!”

  “Good job, Beep!” Lani said. She grabbed my arm. “Let’s go!”

  But I didn’t move. Lani stopped, puzzled. “What’s wrong, Bob? Aren’t you coming?”

  But I could focus only on the judge, who was tapping her foot in annoyance. “If this Bob of yours doesn’t show up soon,” she said to Professor Zoome, “we’ll be forced to award the prize to someone else.”

  I took a step in her direction.

  “Bob!” Lani called. “If we don’t go now, he’s going to get away!”

  I eyed the Platinum Ribbon. It was so glittery and beautiful. I’d never won anything, let alone the grand prize. And they had called for Bob of Astro Elementary.

  The judge spotted me. “Ah, you must be Bob. Finally.”

  Professor Zoome shrugged. “Close enough.” The class seemed confused, but they applauded anyway.

  The judge leaned toward me and smiled. “In the name of Planet Pops Incorporated, makers of the best frozen treats in the galaxy, I hereby present this award to the most deserving, hardworking student of the year. Congratulations!”

  The ribbon seemed to come at me in slow motion, like in those movie scenes where the hero has to make a very important decision and the audience is left in suspense.

  “Sorry, my arthritis is acting up again,” the judge said. “In just one more second I’ll have this on you. Make sure to smile. This is likely going to be the most special moment of your life.”

  I could feel the entire auditorium about to erupt in cheers. How amazing was it going to feel?

  I swallowed. “Beep helped too, so I really can’t take all the credit.”

  I eyed Beep, hoping he was enjoying this as much as I was. But the second he saw me, he looked away. “Beep no say yay.”

  And that’s when I knew what I had to do.

  Just as it touched me, I brushed the ribbon away. “Sorry,” I said. “But as much as I want this, I don’t deserve it. You’ll have to give it to someone else while I go stop the evil me!”

  The judge rolled her eyes. “I so much preferred judging dog shows.”

  “C’mon, Lani and Beep!” I said. “Nothing can stop us now.”

  Splog Entry #12:

  Outside the Dome

  Well, maybe something could stop us. Like getting to the exit and realizing Backward Bob was long gone.

  “This is all my fault,” I said, kicking at the ground.

  Lani nodded. “Sure is.”

  Beep nodded. “Sure is.”

  “Don’t know what you were thinking,” Lani said.

  “Don’t know what Bob-mother thinking,” Beep said.

  “If he ever thinks at all,” Lani said.

  “If Bob-mother ever—”

  “Okay!” I said. “I get it.” I kicked at the ground again.

  Beep bent over. “Careful, Bob-mother! Almost kick yummy popcorn!” He picked a kernel up and tossed it in his mouth.

  “You shouldn’t eat off the ground, Beep,” I said.

  Beep nodded and bent again. “Bob-mother have next one.” He tossed another kernel my way.

  I watched as it slowly floated down. “Wait, Beep. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  Beep clapped. “Strawberry jam world?”

  “No, the popcorn.” I pointed ahead. “Look, it makes a trail! Backward Bob must have spilled some as he got away!”

  “Kernels smart!” Beep said.

  Lani smiled at me. “Bob is smart too. Sorry if we sometimes forget.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Let’s go!”

  Lucky for us, eating popcorn while bouncing on the moon made for lots of spills. The trail
led around the back of the building.

  “Careful,” Lani said, “he could be hiding near those Dumpsters.”

  “The popcorn leads that way, toward the edge of the dome,” I said. “But why?”

  Lani squinted. “There’s an air lock door. He must have gone outside!”

  We rushed toward the dome and pressed our faces against the glass. Sure enough, two figures were leaping up a high hill on the lunar surface, leaving a trail of dusty clouds.

  “I don’t get it,” I said. “Where are they going?”

  “Oh no,” Lani said. “Once they get to the top of that ridge, they’ll have a clear sight of it.”

  “Of what?” I said, but I had already guessed the answer.

  Lani went pale. “Of Earth.”

  Splog Entry #13:

  Lani, Too

  I didn’t love the thought of going outside the safety of the glass dome into the airless atmosphere of the moon, but we had no choice. Luckily, there were some extra helmets and gloves in the air lock. We suited up quickly and opened the door.

  “Once Earth is in view,” Lani said, “he’ll be able to aim at it with the duplicator ray!”

  “If only we’d never started goofing off with that ray to begin with,” I said. “Though that probably would have made my splog entries a lot more boring for my readers.”

  Beep nodded. “This no boring. This fun!” He leaped extra high. “WHHEEEEEEEEEE!”

  Lani and I followed. Each leap brought our feet down into the soft dust, scattering it slowly in big puffs. “This is kind of fun,” I agreed.

  “We better pick up the pace,” Lani said. “They’re almost there.”

  Ahead of us, a bright disc began to rise over the crest. A beautiful blue-green world.

  “Earth,” I mouthed. I hadn’t been home since leaving for Astro Elementary at the start of the school year.

  Two silhouettes stepped in front of my glowing home world. One of them had the outline of a duplicator ray in his hand.

  “No, you can’t!” I shouted, scrambling over moon boulders as fast as I could.

  Backward Bob looked down at me. “Sorry, Bob, old friend,” he said, his voice coming through my helmet radio. He turned and lifted the duplicator ray toward Earth. How could we stop him?

  “Think about what you’re doing!” Lani called up. “If you push that button, then . . . actually, I forget what’s supposed to happen. Maybe if you could explain it all to us again. And be sure to start at the beginning.”

  “Hey, smart thinking, Lani,” I said. “And this time I’ll remember to grab him.”

  “Nice try,” Backward Bob called out. “But I’m going to push the button now.”

  “NOOOO!” I yelled.

  “NOOOO!” Lani yelled too.

  “WHHEEEEEEEEEE!” Beep yelled, bouncing forward like a rubber missile and hitting Backward Bob’s arm with full force.

  A yellow ray zapped from the duplicator, but thankfully not at Earth.

  “You did it, Beep!” I said.

  “Yes, silly little alien,” Lani said. “You did do it. I thank you much!”

  It seemed like a funny thing for Lani to say. I turned to see what was going on.

  “Uh, Lani,” I said, “why am I seeing two of you?”

  “Because,” Lani said, eyes wide, “the ray accidentally hit me! And now there’s an evil me, too!”

  “Oop,” Beep said.

  “Well, hello there,” Backward Bob said to Evil Lani. “Interested in ruling a backward world together?”

  Evil Lani smiled as she approached him. “Hmm, tempting.” Her smile faded. “But not really,” she added as she chopped his arm, causing the duplicator ray to spin her way.

  “Don’t worry,” she said as she caught it. “I promise not to do something as pointless as shooting a mere planet.”

  “Whew,” I said.

  Evil Lani pivoted, aiming the ray into the sunlight. “Not when I can crown myself the terrible queen of my own double star!”

  And before anyone could stop her, she pushed the button.

  Splog Entry #14:

  Shrinking Hopes

  Everyone gasped as a yellow ray zapped toward the bright ball of fire in the dark lunar sky.

  I squinted, looking near but not directly at the sun. To my relief, there remained only one big star. “Whew, nothing happened,” I said.

  Evil Lani huffed. “But my aim was true! What a piece of junk,” she added, tossing the ray against a boulder, where it split with a crack.

  Original Lani raised her arms. “Doesn’t anyone get it?! Just as it takes light 8.3 minutes to travel from the sun to the Earth, it will take 8.3 minutes for the duplicator zap, moving at 186,282 miles per second over approximately 93,000,000 miles, to reach the sun!”

  “Huh?” I said. Math really wasn’t my thing.

  “It means that very soon we’re going to have two suns,” Lani said, “and with the gravimetric pull of a double star system, the orbits of all planets will change, and Earth will go spinning into oblivion!”

  “Um, one more time,” I said.

  “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” Lani yelled.

  That I got.

  “But I still get to be star queen, right?” Evil Lani said.

  Backward Bob shook his head. “Sadly, she’s not very bright.”

  Lani nodded. “She’s a backward me, remember.”

  “This really has gotten way too complicated,” I said.

  “It’s not that complicated, Bob,” the real Lani said. “The speed of light is a widely known universal constant. In fact, because stars are so far away, when you look in the night sky you’re actually looking back in time.”

  “Cool,” I said. “But too bad I can’t go back in time. Then I’d stop myself from duplicating Beep and starting this whole mess to begin with.”

  Lani gasped. “Bob, wait. You’re a genius!”

  “I am?”

  “Well, maybe not genius,” Lani said. “But it’s a great plan! All you have to do is shrink yourself and mail yourself back in time just in time to warn yourself not to duplicate yourself!”

  “I can do that?”

  “Well, theoretically,” Lani said. “Though, like all things that have never been tried, it would be extremely dangerous.”

  I gulped.

  Lani sighed. “But it hardly matters, because we would need a time-velope and a Temporary Shrink Ray, and where are we going to find those in the few minutes we have left?”

  Beep reached in his pouch. “Beep have time-velope!” he said, pulling out the one he’d put in earlier.

  “Great! But what about a Temporary Shrink Ray?” Lani said.

  Backward Bob, standing by a big moon rock, began to cackle. “Oh, you mean like this one?” He then pulled it out of his space belt and pointed it at the rock. Zap! The rock shrunk to pebble size. “I’ve been carrying it around ever since I shrunk Beep Two to work on our ice pop stick project.”

  “I don’t suppose we can borrow it?” I said.

  He cackled again. “Not even if you say ‘please.’ Because now I have a new evil plan!”

  “Oh yeah?” Lani said. “What is it? And please don’t omit any details as you slowly explain your plan.”

  “Well, first of all,” Backward Bob said, “I’m going to shrink Evil Lani, because I’m very unhappy that she chopped my arm. Then I’m going to shrink you, Bob, and have Beep put you in his pouch. Then I’m going to shrink Beep and”—as he went on and on, Lani gestured wildly at me.

  “Wait, what does that mean again?” I asked. “You have an itch?”

  Lani sighed. “Fine, I’ll do this,” she said, and with one giant moon leap she swooped down and yanked the Temporary Shrink Ray right out of Backward Bob’s hands.

  She then bounced over to grab the time-velope from Beep. “Quick, I’ll shrink you and Beep and send you back to your room last night.”

  “But . . . but . . . ,” I stammered, not exactly liking the thought of being shrunk or s
ent through time. Before I knew what was happening, a green light flashed, and everything seemed to grow around me.

  “GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” I cried as Lani’s gigantic hand scooped me and Beep up and slid us into the time-velope. She then sealed us into darkness.

  Beep clapped. “Tiny Beep and Bob-mother go on ride, yay!”

  I pushed against the narrow walls. “Not yay, Beep. I’m scared of tight spaces! And why does it smell like old socks in here?”

  “Beep use extra time to arrange sock collection.”

  “This ride better be smooth!” But just as I said it, everything began to spin and spin and spin, and I screamed.

  Our journey to the past had begun.

  Splog Entry #15:

  So Confusing

  WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Beep said as we spun back in time in the dark and cramped time-velope.

  “Beep, if we survive this, I’m going to make an important vow.”

  “Never give up?”

  “Never get out of bed!”

  I moaned as we twirled and twirled, strange lights blinking and flashing all around.

  “Beep think big adventure make Bob-mother grow.”

  I nodded. “Now that you mention it, having to deal with my bad side has helped me with some personal growth.”

  “No, Beep mean Bob-mother GROW.”

  My limbs pressed against the tight inside walls of the time-velope. “It is getting less roomy in here. The shrink ray must be wearing off!”

  Beep looked down. “Beep start grow too!”

  My head pressed against the inside top of the time-velope, causing my neck to bend. “We have to stop this thing, Beep!”

  “But no off button!” Beep, also expanding, pressed into me.

  “Stop being such a time-velope hog!” I said. “It’s getting too tight! I can’t breathe! It’s also going faster! And faster! And FASTER!”

  “WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  “The sides are starting to split! This is it, Beep, this is—!”

  The time-velope burst open, dumping Beep and me into the middle of . . . our dorm room!