See No More

by W B Dineen

  I laugh inwardly and think, No, but I might have plans for you. I don’t say that, though; I simply explain, “What I mean is, I don’t feel very secure staying here knowing you’re worried about our safety near windows.”

  “I’m constantly worried about our safety and being in Pasadena only quadruples my concern.”

  “Why are you more nervous here than you were in Oregon?”

  “Because Pasadena is where it all started. I have no idea who knows what here and who’s part of the conspiracy that made your dad leave.”

  I take a shower in the hall bath and wash off my mole and fabricated burn scar. It’s nice to get clean again. When I come out, Jake is already done with his shower and is sitting on the mattress in pajama bottoms and a fresh t-shirt. I plop down on the other side and question, “So, what’s the deal with my disguise? Do I have to keep up with the mole, scar, and limp routine, or can I be somewhat normal again?”

  He shakes his head and replies, “We only needed that so you’d get through airport security. We’ll go shopping tomorrow and get some clothes that will help us fit into our new surroundings. You have to keep the dark hair though, and you should either go with no makeup or significantly alter it from what you normally wear.”

  I crawl into bed making sure Buddy is between us—no sense complicating our current situation any more than it already is. I close my eyes and try to recall the last conversation I had with my dad. I know it wasn’t the morning he left because mornings were hectic, and we were always running around getting ready for the day.

  I try to remember the night before he left, but I draw a blank. Our bedtime routine was pretty much the same every night. I’d brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, and my dad would read one book and sing two songs to me. I usually chose “Bicycle” by Queen and one other. My dad did a mean impression of Freddie Mercury and he loved to ride his bike, so that was one of our staples. When he was done I’d fall into a deep sleep like only children can and wouldn’t wake until my mom was dragging me out of bed to get ready for school.

  I fall asleep singing “Bicycle” in my head. My dreams turn into a tangle of real memories and odd fabrications. In one of them I’m sitting on a picnic table in the middle of a park I don’t recognize, and I’m surrounded by my dad and a group of professors from Caltech. They’re all dressed up as cowboys, full-on with toy six-shooters and ten-gallon hats.

  My mom is tricked out as a saloon girl and she’s standing on a stage singing that Paula Cole song. She keeps asking, “Where is my John Wayne?” and “Where have all the cowboys gone?” I keep thinking, Open your eyes, lady. Cowboys are everywhere!

  Then my dad gets up and sings “Bicycle.” The only lyric I remember is, “You say John, I say Wayne . . .” then it’s all instrumental.

  In the next dream, Dad and I are riding our bikes around the Rose Bowl, which is a three-mile trek we used to take as soon as I got off training wheels. He rides next to me. “Remember, Katydid, when you grow up you promise to bring your kids here.”

  I nod my head and my blonde braids do a little dance. “I promise, Daddydid!”

  Then we’re somehow back in our neighborhood speeding through campus and Dad yells, “And if I’m ever lost and you can’t find me, where will I be?”

  I pedal as fast as I can and pass him, yelling, “You’ll be in Einstein’s Cave!”

  I hear my dad answer clear as a bell, “That’s right, honey, if I’m ever lost and you can’t find me, I’ll be in Einstein’s Cave.”

  And just like that, I’m wide awake. I look at the clock and see it’s only five fifteen, but I shake Jake anyway. “Jake,” I demand. “Wake up!” I think I know where Theo is going to meet us.”

  CHAPTER 25

  In the 1930s Albert Einstein came to Pasadena to do research at Caltech on his theory regarding the expanding universe. That’s what the public was told, anyway. There was no mention he was also working on a top-secret project for the US government.

  In 1931, he divided his time between a building on East Green Street and a lab on campus. Einstein loved to ride his bicycle and there are framed photographs of him doing that all over town. To keep the scientist free from harm, the government constructed an underground bike path for him between campus and Green Street. Dad coined this tunnel Einstein’s Cave.

  By the time he got to Caltech, Einstein’s Cave had long been locked up and wasn’t used anymore. Yet Dad was so fascinated by the old stories, he persisted until he found a way in. One day, he walked me past the building on Green Street; I think it was being used for offices at the time. He took me inside and we went to the elevator. We rode it down to the underground parking garage.

  I remember asking, “What are we doing here, Daddy?”

  He smiled mischievously and confided, “I’m showing you Einstein’s Cave.”

  And sure enough, around the corner, there was a door that blended right into the concrete wall. It had a padlock on it, which is really the only way you could tell there was an opening there. My dad took out a key and put it in the lock.

  As I’m explaining this story to Jake, I remember how cold it was down there. It was the peak of summer and must have been a hundred degrees on street level, but in the tunnel, it had to be in the sixties. I remember shivering and wishing I’d had a sweater with me.

  “Dad pulled a flashlight out of his backpack and we walked the entire length of the cave. He’d already unlocked the door where we were going to exit, and when we stepped out, we were in a lab on campus.”

  Jake’s eyes are dancing in excitement. “Is it still an office building?”

  I shake my head. “It was converted to condos years ago.”

  He looks up the address online and finds that one of the units on the ground floor is for sale. He announces, “As soon as the stores open, we’ll buy some new clothes and then head to the building and pretend to be potential buyers.”

  I want to go right away. There’s no way I can fall back asleep, so I get up and make a pot of coffee. I throw on the only clean clothes I have, which are leggings and a t-shirt, and announce I’m going to take Buddy out for a walk.

  Jake bounds to his feet. “Not without me.”

  I wait while he gets dressed and then we greet my hometown as it wakes up. We walk Buddy through the park and then up the street to a restaurant on Shopper’s Lane. We sit on the patio and I order the avocado on toast and a large orange juice.

  While waiting for our food, I comment, “What if we can’t get into the tunnel? I mean, it’s possible they’ve sealed it up in the last twenty-five years.”

  “Let’s take it one step at a time. We’ll find where the door should be, and if it’s not there, we’ll figure out our next move.”

  After breakfast, we walk over to the shops on Colorado Boulevard to purchase some new clothes. By the time we get back to our temporary home, it’s time to call the realtor who has the listing on the condo.

  As I change into a skirt and sweater, my body vibrates like I’ve had three pots of coffee. I’m hyper-alert and nervous at the thought of seeing my dad for the first time since the third grade.

  Jake and I meet the realtor in front of the building at 11:00 a.m. I’m shocked to discover I know him. His name is Tommy Phelps. We went to high school together at Poly. I’m about to run up and hug him when I remember I’m not supposed to be me. So instead, I put my sunglasses on and whisper my news to Jake.

  “Shit,” he mumbles. “What are the chances?” He grabs my hand. “Let me do the talking.”

  Jake introduces us as Dan and Ellen Younger from Indiana. He explains we’re moving to Pasadena in a couple of months and need to find a home. Tommy opens the front door with a passcode that Jake and I both take note of. After seeing the unit, we ask about parking. My old high school pal takes us down the elevator.

  Once inside, Tommy looks at me closely. “Have we met before?”

  I almost choke on my spit. “I don’t know. Have you ever been to Fort Wayne?”

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nbsp; He shakes his head but is still giving me the side-eye like he’s not totally convinced.

  Jake asks to see the laundry room, and behind Tommy’s back, motions for me to keep going into the garage. As I turn the corner, I hear my pretend husband talk about the importance of good washing machines. The cement wall where I remember the entrance to Einstein’s Cave being is very dirty, almost too dirty to see the seam indicating a doorway. But not quite. My excitement increases when I realize there’s no lock on the door, just a rusty hinge where a lock once was.

  I hurry into the laundry room. “Dan, honey, I’m kind of queasy. I think I need to lie down.”

  Jake can obviously see my excitement and smiles at Tommy. “We have a baby on board. Do you mind if we think it over and call you later?”

  Tommy agrees that would be fine, but he’s still looking at me like he’s trying to place me. We walk out the front of the building and continue half way down the block until we see Tommy drive away. My heart starts to beat a nervous tattoo and my legs feel rubbery like they could give out at any moment. This is it, the moment when we find out if my dad really is in Einstein’s Cave.

  CHAPTER 26

  Jake types the entry code into the keypad and we’re back in the building in seconds. Once we’re on the elevator, he opens his backpack and pulls out two flashlights. He hands me one before slipping me a pocketknife.

  “What’s this for?” I ask.

  “Protection.”

  “Protection from who, my dad?”

  “No, protection from whoever is after your dad.”

  In my excitement, I’d forgotten about the danger we’re currently in. Unfortunately, the only knife skills I have are dicing carrots. So, unless the bad guys are willing to stand still while I chop them, I’m going to be in big trouble.

  Jake sees my fear. “Let me go first.”

  “Gladly.”

  When we get into the garage, we look around for civilians. We let two cars pull out before we open Einstein’s Cave and venture in. Jake whispers, “It’s cold down here.” He goes back into his bag and pulls out jackets for us.

  “Who are you, Mary Poppins?” I joke nervously. I’m seriously freaking out that I might be about to see my dad. I mean, this could really be it, face to face after twenty-five years apart.

  He puts his finger to his lips to indicate I should keep my voice down.

  He motions for me to point my flashlight at the ground like he’s doing, instead of directly in front of us. This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but I follow suit. The entire tunnel is about four city blocks in length. I estimate we’re a quarter of the way through when I hear a muffled conversation in the distance.

  Jake motions for me to turn off my flashlight before shutting down his own. He grabs my arm and pulls me flush against the wall. We continue our journey in the pitch black. I never knew until this moment that I was claustrophobic. Holy raging heck, a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. All I can think is that this must be what it’s like to be buried alive.

  Jake senses my distress and turns me toward him. He pulls me into his arms and holds me in a full body hug. Several moments pass before the panic begins to subside, only to be replaced by sheer unadulterated desire. I’m now torn between freaking out and climbing him like a spider monkey. His breath is against my cheek, then against my nose, finally his lips settle on mine, giving me a slow and tentative kiss.

  I’m no longer the least bit terrified; I’m quickly becoming hornier than I’ve ever been in my life. I read somewhere that terror can easily be transferred into feelings of lust. I can now confirm this theory. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could write an award-winning paper on it.

  I open my mouth to let him in, and am about to eat him whole, when a small moan escapes my throat. The sound is as effective as throwing a bucket of ice water on him. Damn, why did I have make noise? I could have kept on doing that for days.

  Jake still has his arms around me, but I can tell he’s trying to calm himself down. We stand quietly, listening for any sounds that would indicate we’ve been heard, when a voice very close by says, “If you’re done romancing my daughter, maybe we can get down to business.”

  Jake and I both turn on our flashlights at the same time, illuminating none other than Theodore Hawks, my dad. Tears spring to my eyes and my heart skips a beat. I don’t know what to do. I stand there like a two-ton statue, completely immobile.

  Theo stares at me, as though he’s afraid to move. My mind travels back to the last time I saw him. He looks older, but I’d know him anywhere. I hand my flashlight to Jake and throw myself into the arms of the man I never thought I’d see again.

  My dad holds me like I’m the most precious thing in the world. His arms are wrapped so tightly around me, we’re like one person. He rocks me back and forth, and croons, “My sweet, sweet, Katie. I knew you’d find me. I knew you’d remember.”

  I have no words. It’s like the last twenty-five years have slipped away and I’m a little girl all over again. I’m being held by my favorite person in the world and I don’t want to do anything that will break this magic spell.

  Then I notice a shadow pass close by us and I move to pull away, but my dad holds me close and says, “Don’t worry, honey, it’s a friend.”

  I look up and audibly gasp. The person standing next to my dad is more than a friend. It’s my mother.

  CHAPTER 27

  After my initial shock at seeing my mom, I demand, “What are you doing here?”

  She reaches out to hug me and my dad at the same time. “Where else would I be?”

  I shake my head. “No, I mean how are you here? When did Dad find you and tell you what’s going on?”

  Bethanie grimaces. “Honey, I’ve always known about Theo.”

  “How is that possible?” Then I accuse, “You cried for years after dad left, and now you’re telling me you’ve always known why he did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You were a child. There’s no way you could have understood. When you got older, we chose not to tell you in order to protect you.”

  I realize I hardly know this woman. All my preconceived ideas of her fly out the window. Then it hits me, she called him Theo. “You know his real name.”

  “I know everything, Kate. And now it’s time for you to learn everything, too.”

  My dad pulls away. “First, we need to get out of the tunnel.” He looks at Jake. “Were you spotted?”

  Jake shrugs his shoulders and answers, “Only a fool would say no with any certainty. I don’t think we were, but Kate knew the realtor who got us into the building. He asked if they’d met before. I think that was our only close call.”

  My dad motions for us all to follow him. We don’t head back the way we came. Instead we hike deeper into Einstein’s Cave. “We’re exiting on campus?”

  Theo shakes his head. “No, I think we’d better take another way out.” He continues until we’re probably halfway through the tunnel before stopping to inspect the floor. He sticks a knife into a seam and slides off a heavy metal lid. “Be careful, we’re going to be walking through the sewer for about a block. It’s slippery, and trust me, you don’t want to fall.”

  We climb down a rickety ladder into the bowels of Pasadena, pun intended. Our trek through the sewer is as disgusting as you’d imagine it would be, yet I’m not really focused on it. I’m more concentrated on the fact that my dad is here, and my mom’s known his secrets the whole time. I think about her relationship with Chuck. I wonder what in the world sent my dad away. And finally, I worry what’s going to become of us all.

  A short time later, we come upon another ladder, built into the side of the cement wall. We climb up and emerge out of a manhole on the corner of Wilson and Blanche, only one block away from our Airbnb apartment. Dad goes first, followed by me, my mom, and finally Jake.

  I point ahead and announce, “We’re staying over there on the corner of Michigan and Del Mar. We can talk in our apartment.”

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nbsp; My dad doesn’t respond right away, he just stops as though listening intently. He mumbles a curse under his breath before grabbing my mom’s hand and yelling, “RUNNN!!!”

  No one takes the time to ask why, we just fly down the sleepy street like we have jet packs on our heels. Seriously, I have never moved so fast. We reach the corner market across from the park when the street beneath our feet begins to shake. An explosion fills the air as sirens and car alarms scream. My dad keeps running until we reach the parking lot of Saint Philip’s Catholic Church two blocks away.

  “Holy shit,” Jake mumbles. “That was close.”

  I bend over to try to catch my breath. I have a stitch in my side that appears to be traveling up toward my heart. My skin prickles like a colony of fire ants is marching off to war. “What in the hell was that?”

  “Someone knew we were in Einstein’s Cave,” my dad responds. “That was their response.” He grabs his temples as though concentrating. “I’ve probably been in town for the same length of time as Jake and Katie, so we can’t know for sure which of us was tailed.”

  My mom interjects, “They could have been following me, too.” My dad nods his head, confirming the possibility.

  I demand, “Who’s following us? What do they want?”

  Theo looks around like he’s expecting a ninja to fall out of the tree. “That’s the problem. We don’t know who it is, but we’ve narrowed it down to three possibilities.”

  “You’ve been running for twenty-five years and you don’t know who’s doing the chasing?” Then I inquire, “Do you know why they’re after you?”

  My dad lifts his chin a notch. “Yeah, I know why, and I know what they want, I’m just not prepared to let them have it.”

  “What do they want?” I ask.

  Theo absently scratches his chin, “I have information that could crumble governments. I know things that would change our world forever, and the only way for them to insure I won’t come forward and do that is to make sure I can’t.”

  Jake interjects, “Not to mention what would happen if they got hold of the information themselves.”