Be Brave With Me

by J. B. Havens

  “Smart. I bet you get shit from the parents, though.” She dipped a fry into the sauce she’d made. A tiny bit dripped onto her lower lip, and before she could bring up her napkin, he leaned forward, licked it off, and stole a kiss. Her eyes turned a deeper shade of green and her cheeks flushed with color.

  “You’re delicious,” he said softly, leaning back down into his seat.

  “Likewise. I didn’t forget my promise, either.”

  Her words shot straight to his dick, stiffening him to the point he had to shift position. Her chuckle told him she was well aware of his predicament.

  “Minx,” he growled.

  “Go on, tell me what the parents think about you giving out condoms.” She stood, collecting their plates and stacking them in the sink. When she began to wash the dishes, he joined her, drying while she washed.

  “There was this one mom who came to the garage and flipped out on me in front of everyone there. Said I was leadin’ her boy down the path to Satan and that I’d corrupted him. I nearly got kicked off the coaching squad over it, honestly. I had to sit down with the head coach, the principal, the boy, and his mother. To say that meetin’ was uncomfortable for everyone is the understatement of the century.”

  “What happened?” She kept washing, her eyes on her hands. He liked this, more than he should. He was getting in so deep with her, but he couldn’t seem to slow down his fall. Right this second, he didn’t think he wanted to.

  “I told the truth; so did the boy. He stood up to his mom that day and became a man before our eyes. He ended up marrying his girlfriend after graduation, and not because he had to. He married her for the right reasons. His mother came around, eventually, but she still glares at me every time I see her.” He shrugged, drying the last of the dishes. She’d cleaned up a lot while she cooked, so there hadn’t been much left to take care of.

  “I have somethin’ to ask you. I was wondering . . . would you . . . if you wouldn’t mind . . .” He stumbled over his words. He felt like an idiot, he was making a mess of this.

  “Drew?” She laughed softly, confusion plain on her face.

  “We have a game Friday night—homecomin’ actually—would you come with me? I have to chaperone the dance too, and I’d like you to be my date,” he said quickly, desperate to get the words out. It would mean her meeting his team, and the whole town would be there. This community took their football seriously and would be out in full force to cheer on their boys, who were state champs for the last four years and nationally ranked.

  “You’re asking me to the homecoming dance? I’ve never been to one.”

  “You aren’t serious?” He took her hand, pulling her with him to the couch.

  “I’m perfectly serious. In high school, boys didn’t ask me out.”

  “They were idiots. I’m askin’ you now.” He pulled her close to his side, turning slightly so he could tip her face up. Kissing her softly, he asked again. “Please come to the game and dance with me?”

  “I’d be happy to.” She smiled against his lips, running her fingers gently through his beard.

  It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her if they were going steady. What a juvenile term that was, but the talk of football and high school had dredged it up. He kept quiet, remembering her reaction when he’d made the joke about loving her. All he knew in that second was that it meant she’d be here through at least Friday, and today was only Sunday. Almost another whole week with her.

  Leaning her head against him, she hit play and they settled in to watch the not a zombie movie. Later, as the credits began to roll, Meg surprised him again. She switched everything off and pulled him by the hand to the bedroom.

  She didn’t say a word as she undressed him and herself. Or when she sank to her knees in front of him and took him deep into her mouth, just as she’d promised. When he told her enough, pulling her to her feet, she pushed him flat on his back and slid over him, seating him deep inside her. He jerked her hair free, letting it fall all around their faces, and she still didn’t speak. She didn’t need to, he felt every unspoken word in her eyes, in her touch. When she reached her climax atop him, he flipped them over, staring deeply into her gaze as he took her over the edge again. He followed right behind her, and she spoke his name on a sigh. He pretended he didn’t see the single tear fall, just as he pretended that his own cheeks weren’t wet.

  Chapter 26

  Meg

  I gaze blankly at the ceiling, naked, save for the sheet covering me. Drew is sound asleep beside me, but my mind refuses to quiet. What just happened? When the movie was over, I’d looked at him and just acted. My emotions are still all over the place, but when I took him by the hand, all the words I’d been thinking stuck in my throat. I hadn’t known what to do, how to get them out. So I showed him. It’s dangerous, what I’m beginning to feel. Insane, really, and much too soon. That stupid tear had nearly undone me. I’ve never cried during sex before. Even with Brandon. I’d always thought lovemaking so beautiful that it brought forth tears was a fairy tale from romance novels. It couldn’t be real.

  How wrong I was.

  In the morning, after Drew leaves for work, I’m going back to my own room. I need some space. Away from his intensity, his sea-blue eyes, his charm, and his big heart. I know for sure that within Drew’s chest beats a heart of gold. It may be a little tarnished, with some dings and dents, but it’s pure goodness. Not like mine. Mine is broken—empty. The remnants of my heart are buried back in Ohio.

  Chapter 27

  Meg

  I fell asleep late last night and wake up with Drew’s alarm this morning. It’s ungodly early. Rolling over, I groan, pulling the pillow over my face. The bed shifts as he gets up, the covers pulled off me by his movements. Before I can grab the blanket, he’s already tucking it back around me. I drift in and out of sleep, but hearing him moving around, making coffee and who knows what else keeps me from going back to sleep completely. I am about to doze off again when a strange noise draws me back out of sleep. Flinging the pillow off, I sit up and freeze.

  Drew is working out.

  Shirtless, wearing only his boxers, I watch as he goes through a series of push-ups, sit-ups, and even burpees. Holy mother. My anxiety about last night is forgotten as I watch him go through his routine. He’s wearing a different prosthesis today; the lower leg portion is a curved metal blade. I assume it is a performance one for running and sports. It looks bad ass.

  “Enjoyin’ the view?” He smirks, pausing before beginning jumping jacks.

  “Yes. I’m a woman, and, last I checked, I’m alive, so, yes, I’m enjoying the view.” I draw my knees up to my chest and prop my arms on them, not at all embarrassed to be ogling him.

  He laughs roughly, out of breath. “I’m almost done. Then you can join me in the shower.”

  Judging by his tone and the dark look in his eyes, I know exactly what he has in mind. Things feel different between us this morning. Not tense, exactly, but more aware. I don’t answer him, my mind is a chaotic mess of thoughts and feelings, all of it overlaid with gut-clenching guilt.

  “I can shower at my own place.” My need for him screams at me to shut up, get my ass in that shower, and enjoy every inch of his body and what it could do to mine.

  Drew’s eyebrows shoot up, and he stops exercising, putting his hands on his hips. “Okay. I mean, if that’s what you want.” I see the hurt on his face, and I want to crawl into a hole and die.

  Sighing, I stand, taking the sheet with me. Some things shouldn’t be said while naked. “I just . . .” I stop, gathering my thoughts. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t think I can help it right now. “I need a little space is all. I’m not going anywhere, at least not right now. Things have been . . . intense.” I wave my hand back and forth between us. “I really just need some time to myself today, Drew. Yesterday was amazing, the kayaking and barbecue, oh my, the barbecue, but it’s too much too soon.”

  He rubs his hand over his hair, frustration pl
ain on his face. “I can’t stand here and say I don’t understand what you’re talkin’ about. I do.” He walks closer to me and I hold my ground, even as every fiber of my being is telling me to drop the sheet and follow him into the shower. “Maybe some space will do us both good.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and drops a kiss onto my forehead. “I’ll see you tonight, then? I won’t be home until at least seven or eight. If you want, I can come over and we can talk.”

  “That sounds good. I’m sorry, Drew. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings.” I look at my toes where they peek out of the bottom of the sheet. I’m frustrated with myself. I can see what is staring me in the face, the chance I have here with him, but I can’t take it, not yet.

  “You’re not.” He hauls me up against him, wrapping his arms tightly around me. “Am I disappointed? Yes. Of course I am. But I understand. We’re both more than a little messed up and we kinda jumped into this thing with both feet. Takin’ a little time apart will put things back into perspective for us both.”

  “You’re a good man.” I mumble against his chest. I can feel disappointment radiating off him. There are some things that aren’t spoken with words.

  “Not really. I’m tryin’ not to rip that sheet off and fuck you against the wall.” He lets me go, taking a big step back. “I’m gonna take a shower. A cold one.”

  “I think my mouth is rubbing off on you. I like it.” Drew swearing is hot as hell. “I’ll get dressed while you’re in there.”

  He nods and closes the bathroom door behind him. He is too good for me, that’s apparent. A weight seems to settle onto my chest as I quickly dress. I am so afraid, terrified I am going to break his heart and my own in the process. I am too fucked up, too damaged to be good for him.

  I close the door gently behind me as I leave his apartment.

  Chapter 28

  Drew

  Drew wanted to put his fist through the shower door. What the hell was happening? Last night had been the most incredible experience of his life. He swore their very souls had touched. She was scared, that much was obvious, and he didn’t have any fucking idea what to do about it. He didn’t react in front of her, but his good mood was now soured like milk left in the sun. He washed quickly, drying off and getting dressed, jerking his pants on and cursing under his breath the whole time. Sure, he understood why she was pulling away, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

  He knew she’d be gone by the time he was done in the shower but seeing the truth of it pissed him off even more. Grabbing his hat and keys, he left for work, rage settling deeper into him the closer he got to the garage. His anger was over the top and unjustified. They hadn’t known each other long enough for him to be this invested. While their sex was hot, he had no right to be so possessive of her. Realizing he was in the wrong just made him even more pissed off. Arriving at the garage, he slammed the door to his truck and stomped inside.

  “Mornin’, Drew.” Nolan saluted him with his coffee cup as he stalked past him, only getting a grunt in response.

  “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” Nolan joked.

  “Somethin’ like that,” Drew snapped, reading the work order for the car on his lift before he jerked open his toolbox and got to work. Front brakes and an oil change, should be simple enough.

  Starting with the oil change, he walked to the back, getting the jug of oil and a new filter before removing the old one. Placing a bucket under the car, he opened the oil pan and let it drain while he got to work taking off the front tires. The old Cavalier he was working on belonged to a kid in town. As far as he was concerned, if you couldn’t change your own oil and brakes, you shouldn’t have a car.

  “Fuckin’ shit.” He twisted the wrench, grunting with effort, but that damn thing wasn’t coming loose. “Fucker!” He shouted as his hand slipped and smashed his knuckles into the rotor. Looking down, he saw a flap of skin hanging and blood running between his fingers. He ignored Nolan’s question of concern and walked to the sink. Hissing as he rinsed his knuckles under the water, he washed it out and bandaged it up.

  The other mechanic, George, was in the way, so instead of waiting, Drew walked under the car on his lift, which caused him to knock over the bucket full of oil.

  “Mother fuckin’ cocksucker!”

  “Dude!” Nolan shouted.

  “What!” He screamed back, fists clenched at his sides.

  “Get the fuck outta here before you wreck somethin’ else.”

  “What? Why?” Drew glared, ignoring the spreading puddle of oil. “I only just started.”

  “You’re actin’ like an immature asshole. Come back when you git your head outta your ass.” Nolan grabbed a giant squeegee and began pushing the mess to the long trap in the floor.

  “Fuck this.” Tossing the wrench he still held onto the top of his toolbox, he stomped out.

  He felt like going somewhere to blow off steam, but he drove back to the motel instead. He knew if he went to the bar right now, he’d get drunk and find a fight. Bury himself into the old familiar pain he’d spent years recovering from. He could almost feel the blows against his knuckles and ribs, the smack of flesh against bone, the sting of sweat in his eyes, and the coppery tang of blood in his mouth.

  “Fuckin’ shit. I am a stupid asshole.” Smacking his palm against the wheel, he parked in his usual spot and went to the office, pointedly ignoring Meg’s closed door. Maybe Nana had something for him to do that would distract him from the woman his mind wouldn’t let go of. Pulling open the door, he found her in her usual spot behind the counter.

  “Drew! I didn’t expect to see you. I thought you were working at Nolan’s today.” Her kind voice calmed him slightly. She’d always been able to soothe his temper.

  “He threw me out. I’m havin’ a shit day.” Sliding his ball cap up, he rubbed his hand along his hair, before fitting the hat back into position.

  “Well, I have some things for you.” Nana frowned at him. She usually scolded him whenever she heard him swear, but she was worried about him, so she let it go. She handed him a list and picked up her glass of tea. “Some good old fashioned hard labor should be good for you to work through your mood.”

  “Thanks, Nana.” He slipped the list into his pocket and moved to leave.

  “I don’t suppose your attitude has anything to do with Meg, does it?”

  “Maybe.” He didn’t want to talk to Nana about his sex life. Now or ever.

  “Hmm, well, she seems like a good girl, but she’s hurting something fierce. It’s plain as day to anyone who takes a moment to look.”

  “Yeah, well, she isn’t the only one who’s been through crap.” He turned his back and left the office without another word. He was being unreasonable and he knew it. Meg said she needed some space. She’d been calm and hadn’t rejected him. But why did he feel like he had been? Why was he feeling unwanted? Why was he acting like a lovesick teenager instead of a grown man? Fuckin’ stupid ass emotions. He scowled and headed to the equipment shed. Life was easier when all he had was work and practice to worry about. Meg had his head so fucked up, he didn’t know which way was up. He wanted her desperately, and he was terrified he’d lose her like everything and everyone else he’d ever loved.

  Chapter 29

  Meg

  I sit on the bed in my room, lost in thought. I’m second-guessing every word I’d said to Drew. I want nothing more than to run back over there and show him how much I want him, but my head is screaming at me to slow down. I can’t shake the look of hurt in his eyes—the look that belied his words of understanding.

  I hear Drew’s truck start as he leaves. A groan of frustration escapes me. I change my clothes, and head to the office to talk to Nana.

  “Hey, Nana, you here?” I ask softly, pushing the office door open.

  “Sure, Meg. Come on in.” Nana is sitting behind the counter, reading a book, which she sets aside as I approach. “What can I do for you?”

  “I just wanted to let y
ou know I’ll be here for a few more days. As long as that’s okay?” I didn’t think it would be an issue, but I want to make sure she doesn’t have a prior reservation to worry about.

  “Why wouldn’t it be okay?” I have the feeling she’s asking me about more than staying.

  “I like it here. My Jeep isn’t done yet anyway, so I’ll be sticking around at least until the end of the week.”

  She looks at me shrewdly. “Seems to me you’d be staying a bit longer even if your Jeep wasn’t in the shop. You have feelings for my grandson.” It’s a statement, not a question.

  “I don’t know what I feel for your grandson. It’s complicated.” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation, and I’m sure Drew wouldn’t like it. Especially after this morning. I feel like the dirt on the bottom of my shoe for hurting his feelings.

  “Whatever it is, don’t let your fear get in the way of something great.”

  “Who says I’m afraid?”

  “It’s written all over your face, child.” The phone rings, cutting her off before she can say more. She answers with a cheerful “Brewer’s Motel. How can I help you?”

  I listen to her side of the conversation. “Why, hello, Nolan! Yes, she’s right here.”

  Nana holds the receiver out to me. “It’s for you, Nolan from the garage.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Your Jeep is done. Will Drew be bringin’ you down?”

  “No. He left already. I’ll walk.”

  “Nope. I’ll come pick you up and bring you back here so we can settle up. Wait. Drew’s pullin’ in now. I’ll tell him to come back and get you.”