Forsaken World | Book 6 | Redemption

by Watson, Thomas A.

  Taking the radio with spellbound awe, “Talk about having 9-1-1 again with the Wild Ones on the other end,” Jarvis mumbled but everyone heard him. Coming to the conclusion that Lance and Ian were over this patrol, several in the group wanted to ask to talk to the leaders, thinking Lance and Ian sounded young but didn’t act it. But they could see from the others in the Wild Ones, they were in charge of this group.

  “You speak for all the Wild Ones?” one person asked.

  “Better believe it,” Lance huffed.

  “We’ll let you know when we’re on the way back,” Ian said and waved bye.

  When they returned that afternoon with trailers loaded with barbed wire, chainsaws, ammo, food, and other supplies, Jarvis and his group barely noticed. They all stood rooted to the ground as the two thunder bots pulled to each side of the property to guard them. After Lance set up the fields of fire and told them the thunder bot was an autonomous machine and wouldn’t fall asleep, they watched the centrifugal gun in the turret swing down the valley and drop a group of stinkers in seconds. They now all had a fear of the machines. It was when Lance warned everyone where not to go and to leave them alone or they would attack, only then did the group move. As one, they all moved closer to the main house.

  After Lance and Ian left, saying they would be back tomorrow, Jarvis finally stepped off the porch. The others stayed on the porch or inside, looking out the windows. “With friends like this, we stand a chance,” Jarvis proclaimed with pride. With the two bots, they only had to guard a small blind spot to the south that was at the base of the steep slope.

  He turned to the house, “Let’s get this stuff unloaded and in the barn!” he called out and headed to a trailer. “Jill, you watch the kids so none of them cross the boundary for those bots.”

  Happy she could stay inside, Jill gathered up the five small kids of the group. It was only after Jarvis had grabbed a load and headed to the barn that the others came off the porch, seeing Jarvis hadn’t gotten shot by the thunder bots.

  Chapter Four

  The cabin

  That evening at the cabin, Lance and Ian walked out of the ‘Men’s’ bathroom wearing shorts and drying their hair after showering. Letting his towel drape across his shoulders, Lance saw his mom and Mary standing on the other side of the sectional. “Where’s everybody at?” he asked.

  “I sent them to the gym,” Mary told him. “We are talking and we’re doing it now.”

  Turning to his mom, Lance nodded. “Okay, Momma Mary,” he said sounding somewhat relieved.

  If Lance was relieved, Ian was ecstatic. “Thank you, Momma,” he nearly cheered, following Lance around the sectional. They sat down and Mary guided Sandy to sit down across from them on the other side. “Now,” Mary smiled around at everyone. “Who wants to start?”

  Neither Sandy nor Lance spoke up, but Mary was just happy to see them looking at each other without snarls.

  “Sandy, why don’t you start?” Mary said patting Sandy on the leg.

  Having never looked away, Sandy was still staring at Lance. “You’re thirteen, Lance. You’re too young for her. I think she needs to move in with the Bear Trap Clan and we can move on from there.” The anger Sandy had about Lilly abated, nearly instantly, seeing for the first time the anger in Lance’s eyes. And that anger was directed solely at her.

  Not believing Sandy had started out like that, Mary bit her lip. Just the fact Sandy hadn’t used Lilly’s name pissed Lance off, but to just blurt it out that Lilly had to leave? This wasn’t the old world and things had changed.

  “I’m not old enough?!” Lance cried out. “We’ve killed thousands of people and tens of thousands of stinkers. Every night since we got to this cabin, Ian and I sit up and talk about what we need to do. We named them bridge meetings. You know why we called them that?” he asked but didn’t wait for a response. “A bridge takes a lot of effort to cross something dangerous, and you have to decide if it’s worth the effort and the risk. One of the first things we talked about was Jennifer wanting to help, and we let her do as much as we felt she could do without getting killed or getting us killed. But she wanted to do more, and Ian kept on in the bridge meetings saying we needed to let Jennifer do more, but I had to play devil’s advocate. Because dumbass here was in love with her and wouldn’t believe she was in love with him!” Lance cried out, throwing his hands in the air but never looking away from his mom as he continued.

  “We had to weigh the pros and cons. And let me tell you, the cons outweighed everything. Because I knew if anything happened to Jennifer, I was going to lose Ian. I lose Ian and I’m not good anymore, and that leaves the Ladybugs alone and vulnerable. In this world, that equals dead and it’s never pretty.”

  Seeing he had Sandy’s attention and Mary was in shock, Lance softened his tone. “But Jennifer needed to know how to patrol, fight, work on equipment, and everything else, not only for her own safety but because if something happened to me and Ian, it would be her and the Ladybugs.”

  Never taking his eyes off his mom, “So every bridge meeting, we would weigh the good and bad about every decision we made and it sucked. I don’t want the Ladybugs outside but this cabin isn’t secure, it can be breached. Ian may act like he doesn’t like Allie but let me tell you, he loves her dearly. He was so against letting the Ladybugs go on patrol, we almost went outside because I wouldn’t drop it. I told Ian, ‘so what if we get overrun and have to move? Allie and Carrie won’t know shit about moving out there, and we would have to pick up their corpses because we didn’t teach them’.”

  Lance paused as Mary gasped. Gritting his teeth, “Ian cried the rest of the night when he realized we didn’t have a choice! His baby sister and Carrie had to learn to fight and work!” Lance shouted and Ian looked away as tears rolled out of his eyes. “Because he was crying, that made me cry and the man code doesn’t cover that shit! All I could do was put my arm over his shoulders and tell him we’ll do everything we can to make sure that doesn’t happen. Allie and Carrie started patrolling the next day. Now I’m terrified because I’m the one who pushed this fucked-up shit! Those are my Ladybugs! I’m out patrolling the woods with them and if something happens, it’s my fault because I pushed it!”

  Trying to calm down but failing, Lance did lower his voice again. “Having to watch daughters being raped beside their moms, as their fathers bled out or worse just feet from them, it changes some shit. Like little Jodi,” Lance sniffled. “She wants people to smile. I gave her a gun and her mom didn’t seem to like it and I didn’t give a shit. Kathy can fucking talk to me after watching girls, little girls, screaming as they’re getting raped and watching their family die. Then Denny and Lori, they try so hard it makes me envious. I knew if anything happened to their parents, they were dead and it wouldn’t be pretty. We offered to let them stay just so we could teach them something if that happened. You know what not teaching and letting kids have the option says? Come and rape me hard, not even my parents think I’m worth enough to have something to protect myself. So they came over and their parents understood what for and why we wanted them here. What did that do? Added more things for Ian and I to worry about and discuss in the bridge meetings, but we felt it was worth it.”

  Listening to Lance speak, Mary wiped tears from her face and then glanced over and saw tears running down Sandy’s face. In that instant, Mary didn’t see them as boys anymore. Both were adults. They understood responsibility and commitment.

  “You know I talked to you, Mom?” Lance blurted out and Sandy gave a startle. “The video you made for me. When Donald and his group came up here to hit us and we killed them. It wasn’t like the trip up here when we shot the bikers. Yes, I know we killed some, I watched one’s head explode when I shot him. But when Donald and them came here, it was different. We were laid out and could see their faces. I know it’s stupid, but Momma can fix anything and just hearing your voice helped,” Lance stopped and pulled up the towel to blow his nose.

  Like he was conf
essing a sin, he continued. “Then Lilly comes along. I nearly just pulled out with Jennifer when they took her because I couldn’t watch it again, not another rape. Making calculations and running attacks off in my mind when the bikers held her down on the table, I felt we could do it and Jennifer wouldn’t get hurt. I just wanted to stop them and prayed no more bikers were coming. I hoped Ian wasn’t going to blow up because I’d endangered Jennifer like that. We agreed I had to go out with her first because I would be the better judge of if she was ready to continue. Just the fact Ian agreed to that blew my mind but later, after Lilly joined,” Lance paused. “After I realized I cared for her more than a member of the group, Ian went out with her because like him with Jennifer, I was biased. Looking back, it was a stupid risk to attack like that, but I’d do it again. But if any tried that to Lilly now,” Lance paused as his face became void of emotion, “I would show them the true meaning of torment.”

  Getting the worry of Lilly out of his mind, Lance took a deep breath. “After she got here, I find out Lilly is tough, very smart, a fucking veterinarian who graduated with nearly a 4.0 GPA. And holy shit, is she hot! I looked at her like a boy shouldn’t be looking. Momma told me after Ms. Wasson ran around nearly naked, boys shouldn’t look at women like that, but here I was thinking about Lilly, a woman, wanting her to be my girlfriend.”

  Looking off, “I kept asking myself, ‘What kind of chance do I have getting her?!’” he cried out. “But I was just overcome by her. She thinks and never said one thing about being older when she listened to anyone here. How could a thirteen-year-old have any hope of impressing her, and the Prime Directive clearly stated I wasn’t supposed to have feelings like that about a woman, but I was and I couldn’t stop them.”

  Hearing ‘Prime Directive’, Mary gave a startle as Lance continued. “Then Jennifer comes up saying Lilly is checking me out. I know Jennifer’s my buddy but I had a real hard time believing that. At first, the Ladybugs didn’t like Lilly and that terrified me because I really liked her. I wanted to be near her even if I couldn’t be her boyfriend. I know it sounds corny, but I wanted to be a friend, just to be near her. I felt sick knowing I couldn’t even try to be more because it went against the Prime Directive when the Prime Directive said I shouldn’t even look at a woman like that. I was really getting worried thinking something was wrong with me.”

  Ian reached over and patted Lance’s arm and Lance motioned to Ian with his head as he continued. “But on patrol I talked to Ian about it, and he said that’s what he always felt about Jennifer. Not that she was against the Prime Directive, but he wanted to be near her, just a part of her life, but he didn’t think he was good enough for her. I told him for the last three years Jennifer was in love with him, but Ian didn’t think he was good enough for her? That’s when he described what I felt. Nausea, just thinking about not being with her. I stopped the buggy to kick his ass while we were patrolling section two because I knew and had told him, Jennifer wanted him and he was being a stupid motherfucker for not hooking up with her sooner. When I walked around the buggy to yank his ass out and kick it all over the state of Kentucky, the cocksucker took off running and I couldn’t catch him. I mean, he could have the one who made him feel like that and stop that puke feeling because he could be with her, I couldn’t be with the one who made me feel like that because the Prime Directive said I shouldn’t feel like that towards a woman.”

  Ian nodded emphatically, “I saw in his eyes I was going to get hurt, and didn’t want any part of the beat down coming. I figured I’d just run. Luckily, there were stinkers Lance could take his anger out on.”

  Flipping Ian off, “Yeah, after chasing him a mile and killing stinkers that were trying to get us, I realized that wasn’t the best time to have a man discussion. Getting on the buggy I told Ian we could settle up later and he finally got in. Ian apologized and admitted he was stupid, but he didn’t want Jennifer to be let down because he wasn’t what she expected. Hearing that, I understood, because that’s how I felt when Jennifer said Lilly was interested and liked me more than a friend. I was terrified and started shitting water for three days. My underwear looked like a dirty diaper. My god, how can I impress a woman like her?! I didn’t even know how to kiss! When Sabrina tried to stick her tongue down my throat at the Fall Dance, I thought she was just being a bitch, fucking with me! Hell, someone had already grabbed my ass! I didn’t know she did it!”

  Despite the severity of the conversation, Mary couldn’t help but suppress a giggle, even though she was still crying listening to Lance. “Jennifer, my only other buddy, who I’ve talked to on the phone nearly every night for years knew this was freaking me the fuck out!” Lance cried out with tears again in his eyes. “Ian begged her, my buddy and his girl, to show me how to kiss because I didn’t believe it when Jason said you really used tongue! Ian kissed at the Fall Formal!”

  “Um, yeah,” Ian said turning from the moms to Lance. “In your defense, you did outrun Jason after he told us how to kiss. He caught me and stuck his tongue in my mouth and said if a girl did that to follow her lead. If I embarrassed him, Jason said he was going to strip me naked and cover me in honey, then throw me out at school.”

  “Hell yeah, I outran him!” Lance cried out. “I ran to my house and hid behind Momma! Ooops wasn’t sticking his tongue in my mouth!”

  Nodding, “Well, he was right,” Ian said calmly. “That’s how you kiss.”

  Throwing his hands up, “Like I was supposed to believe either of you after that!” Lance bellowed.

  Wiping tears from her eyes, “I remember the day,” Sandy sniffled. “I wondered why you ran inside and followed me around the house all day.”

  “What the hell was I supposed to do?!” Lance shouted staring at Ian. Lowing his voice to normal, “Then I find out that’s how you really kiss being a grown-up. I couldn’t do that with Lilly. I would disappoint her. What do my two best buddies do? Ian convinces Jennifer, the girl he’s been infatuated with, and thank god he didn’t choose the frog,” Lance praised to the heavens, confusing both moms, “he talked her into teaching me how to kiss with fucking tongue,” Lance said shivering.

  “Language,” Sandy said wiping tears from her face.

  “We aren’t kids anymore, Momma Sandy,” Ian sniffled, wiping his nose off with his forearm.

  Unknown to everyone inside, they were being watched and listened to. Outside in the gym, the others were standing behind Allie and Carrie and looking at a laptop that showed the camera in the living room, watching the discussion. With a lot now explained, Lilly turned to Jennifer and saw her shiver.

  Like he was nauseous and suppressing a gag, Lance moved on. “Jennifer picked up a hammer, telling me to hold still or she’s going to use that hammer on my face and even now, I fucking know she would’ve,” Lance said, then did a cootie dance. “Jennifer is pretty and an awesome buddy, but I felt like I was kissing Granny Jackson with tongue. It just felt incestuous.”

  Sandy rolled her shoulders with a violent shiver. “Oh, that’s gross,” she said, thinking about her mom.

  “Yeah, I don’t have a sister to compare to, so that’s all I can use for comparison,” Lance shrugged. “Jennifer felt the same but she did it, and Ian begged her to. Why? Because I was terrified. I didn’t want Lilly to see me as a kid,” he finished in a mumble.

  “Then all of a sudden, the Ladybugs really like Lilly and start pushing us together,” Lance got out with a small smirk, wiping snot from his nose. “I never loved those two so much for trying to help me because I couldn’t do it. I wanted to ask them to do it more but didn’t want Lilly to think bad of them and me. Just as soon as that thought entered my mind, I felt guilty. I’m already breaking the Prime Directive by even having feelings for a woman and I want the Ladybugs to force it? And through all this, Ian and I have to do everything we can to make sure everyone stays safe. I’m having emotions I don’t understand because nobody ever said emotions can make you shit water. I would’ve remembered that!” Lanc
e huffed as his mind fluttered about and words just continued to spill out.

  “I mean, do I just walk up and hold her hand? Do you only kiss when you’re relaxing? Can I hug her here or should I wait till nobody’s looking so I don’t embarrass her?” Lance said shyly. “The day Rhonda told me Lilly looks at me like she wants to marry me was the happiest day of my life. Rhonda is the toughest motherfucker I’ve ever met. She would leave their house with a revolver, six bullets, a machete, and eight bolts for her crossbow to look for food. Be fucking damn if I would’ve done that willingly.”

  In the gym, Rhonda gasped as she stumbled back and fell on her ass, startled to hear just how much Lance looked up to her.

  “I thought when Ian and I stayed out the first night to get over being scared outside at night was bullshit, and Rhonda did that shit all the time to take care of her group? She has balls of steel,” Lance informed everyone.

  Nodding rapidly, “That’s no shit,” Ian agreed.

  “So I took Rhonda at her word and I’m grateful for her. Besides Ian, that’s who I have to talk to for guidance. I’m terrified to talk to Jennifer now about Lilly because she might let something slip to Lilly. Rhonda and the Ladybugs are my relationship counselors. But I can’t ask the Ladybugs. Allie tells me to hold Lilly’s stupid hand and kiss her when I want,” Lance groaned. “Like that’s help. When is hugging a lot seen to cross over to stalking or molesting? What if Lilly stops me when I go to kiss her one time? Should I try again later or wait until she kisses me? What if she doesn’t?”

  Just hearing the confusion as Lance mumbled trying to make sense of his feelings, Mary fought the urge to run over and hold him.

  “When Lilly is just near me, I feel at peace,” Lance said, then looked up at Sandy with red eyes and tears on his cheeks.

  “Now, my momma doesn’t want the one thing that brings me some measure of peace to be with me?! What the fuck?! When Lilly grabs my hand, my heart flutters? I thought I was developing a heart condition! My daddy was a doctor and talked about that shit. I start reading up on how to do an EKG thinking my heart’s going bad, and I’m only thirteen, like I don’t have enough shit to worry about! Then Ian says that happens to him all the time when Jennifer just gets close to him, so that was a relief,” Lance told them.