He dug into his plate, taking several bites of his eggs. “I’m just curious. Where did you stash all the lightskirts?”
Balstead turned toward him. “I beg your pardon?”
He stopped. Another bite of eggs halfway to his mouth. “The lightskirts. For the party.”
Balstead’s eyebrows drew together. “Didn’t Cassandra explain?”
“Explain what?” he asked, apprehension trickling down his spine as he straightened up in his chair.
Balstead shook his head. “There was never a party. I invited you to here to meet Cassandra.”
His fork fell from his hand, food spattering over the table as the clanking filled the room, echoing off the walls. “But she’s already engaged. Or she was…before…”
The words clogged in his throat. She’d lied. That much was clear.
Pain lanced through his chest. No wonder he’d been so worried last night. She’d managed to betray him already. He should have never allowed this to happen. Rising, he started for the door. He needed to hear an explanation from her lips. Right now.
Chapter Ten
Cassandra woke the next morning stretching with a contentment she’d never experienced. Not only had pleasure sapped her of every ounce of energy but sleeping next to Damian had been…perfection.
She’d been cradled in the crook of his arm pressed to the masculine lines of his body. For the first time in a very long time, she’d been safe. Her worries had melted away.
Not only about her future but also her past. While Cassandra understood she wasn’t living the life her mother had intended she could reconcile that as Damian’s wife she was free to make their marriage…happy. Fulfilled.
She stretched her hand, reaching out to find the bed empty.
Unease made her spread her fingers wide as she searched the room. He wasn’t there and his clothes were gone. Why had he left?
Rising, she wrapped herself in a dressing gown and began to gather her clothes, which had been discarded onto the floor the night before. She picked up her gown, finding it wrinkled and she began to smooth it, checking the buttons for damage before adding it to the neat pile she’d started.
He’d been gentle but one was loose, and out of habit, she reached for her sewing kit. Keeping her fingers busy would help ease the worry that had hit her with his unexpected disappearance.
Why should she be concerned? They’d signed a contract and sealed it with a wonderful night. The best in her life. But somehow, she’d expected to find him in her bed still, holding her close and kissing the top of her head.
She shifted on her feet, smoothing the pile of clothes she’d just created. Her fears started to rise to the surface. She’d done something wrong and sinful. She’d find herself alone with no money and no prospects.
She drew in a steadying breath trying to calm her fears when her door banged open.
Damian stood in the doorway, staring at her, his grey eyes glittering dark and dangerous.
Her own breath stalled as she realized she was now clutching the clothes to her front. Carefully she set them down. “There you are.”
“Here I am,” he rumbled, his voice low and deep. He pulled up straighter, peering down at her with a dark gaze. The look was not passionate, however, there was something far colder in those dark depths.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her breath catching as she stood.
He pointed a finger. “You lied to me.”
Her hands pressed down her skirt. A lump of dread formed in her throat. Those four words hung between them as her mouth fell open. She had. “Damian.”
He sliced his hand through the air. “There was no fiancé.”
“No.” She gulped down a lump. “But—”
“You deliberately manipulated me.”
“No!” She stepped closer to him, holding her hands out in front of her. “I swear I didn’t.”
“Explain yourself.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to remind Damian that he’d assured her being married to a duke would not result in constant explanation. “I…” She squeezed the dress, worry coiling low in her belly, threatening to strike. Would they even marry now? “I was trying to protect myself.”
“Protect yourself?” He moved closer. “From what?”
“You.” She nibbled at her lip. “Your interest was obvious and I was trying to keep from…” Her words died away as understanding dawned in his eyes.
“But you continued to lie.”
She shook her head. “I tried to explain yesterday as we signed the contract.”
His mouth thinned and she was about to try to explain again when a shadow stepped behind him.
“You signed a contract?”
Raithe. First relief and then shame made her shoulders hunch. He’d know what she’d done. Tears sprung to her eyes.
“We did,” Damian said. “That was before I knew I was being manipulated.”
Raithe grimaced as he looked over at her. “You told him you were already engaged?”
She nibbled her lip. That was the least of her sins. “Yes. You weren’t here. You know I’m no good at this sort of thing.”
“You’ve always been a terrible liar.” He shook his head. “But the deceit was mine. I tried to trick several men into coming here, though, to be fair, you weren’t one of them.”
Damian’s head snapped back. “Is that supposed to matter?”
“It does to me,” Balstead fired back. “I knew you didn’t have the temperament for making a match. That’s why I didn’t ask you.”
Damian smacked his hand on the table next to him. “My temperament is of less concern than your lies.”
Raithe shrugged and Cassandra hugged herself around her chest. Raithe’s eyes flicked to her before they returned to the duke. “What is of the greatest concern to me is the contract you signed.”
Damian made a growling sound deep in his throat and the noise spurred her into action. She crossed the room, standing between the two of them. “Raithe,” she said, holding up a hand for him to stop before she turned to Damian. She drew in a steadying breath. “You know I did what I did last night on the faith that we’d be wed.” If he broke his word, she’d be ruined forever. There would be no sum of money, no contract that awarded her a house. She’d have lost her morality and her future.
He said nothing as his arms crossed, his chin pulling back. She dropped her head, looked at the floor, no longer able to meet his eye. “But even more than I’ll hate myself for the shame, I can’t stand the idea of another husband who looks at me with resentment in his eyes. And it shines in your eyes now. We’ll burn the contract if that’s what you want to do.”
She’d not have another marriage like that again.
Those words made the air rush from Damian’s chest and with it, much of the resentment. Yes, he’d been lied to and manipulated, two things he couldn’t abide. But he also recognized several truths about Cassandra. And himself. He’d likely come on very strong and she was a woman without protection.
And she’d offered him an out. No yelling, no anger. Only worry clouded her beautiful face. Though he hated that she’d lied, and he was angry still, it didn’t change the fact that he wanted her or that she suited him in many ways.
Perhaps this deception was for the best. Help him to separate his feelings from their arrangement. He’d go into this like any other bargain and he’d leave that pesky tenderness behind.
“Are you mending your dress?” Raithe asked as he looked over her shoulder.
Color filled her cheeks. “It needed repair.”
Damian swore softly under his breath. He’d likely done the damage himself. “Stop sewing, please.”
Her gaze snapped up to his, confusion in her eyes. “Why?”
“A husband buys his wife all the gowns she needs.” He gently pulled the fabric from her fingers.
Confusion clouded her eyes as she stared at him. “But—”
“We’ll marry still,” he said as he turned away. Eve
n now, he felt a pull toward her that he steeled himself against. He’d have to take some time to order his thoughts. She’d make a good wife, an excellent lover. But he’d not allow himself to care beyond that. “I’ll have to acquire a special license, which means I need to return to London. Your job is to acquire a proper wardrobe while I’m gone.”
Her eyes crinkled. “You’re leaving? When?’
“Today,” he answered, looking away. “I’ll need nearly a week to complete the journey and return with the license.”
She shifted, her hands clasping. “I could come with you.”
Under different circumstances, he’d love the idea. But he needed time without her distracting him. The opportunity to get his emotions in hand, order their future in a way he could keep from getting hurt. “I’ll be back soon enough.”
“I’ll go with him,” Raithe said. “Company always makes a journey faster.”
“I don’t need a nanny, Balstead.” He straightened, giving the other man a long stare.
Raithe shrugged then looked at Cassandra. “Keep my fiancée company while I am gone.”
Damian debated protesting further but if he were in Balstead’s position, he’d likely do the same.
“You’re engaged?” Cassandra spun back, throwing her arms about Raithe’s neck. “That is the most wonderful news.”
Jealousy, hot and sharp stabbed through him as he watched them hug. He definitely needed time.
“Thank you. You’ll love Charlotte. Charlie, everyone calls her. She’s no wilting flower.”
“I can hardly wait.” She stepped back again, her fingers grasping Balstead’s squeezing his hands.
His own insides tightened. He had to get his emotions back under control.
Chapter Eleven
Cassandra watched her fiancé leave, dread and unease churning in her stomach. This very situation was exactly what she hadn’t wanted.
How had last night ended so terribly wrong?
She straightened, refusing to allow the tears pricking behind her eyes to fall. Should she end the engagement? In some ways, dissolving their arrangement was the best course. She’d begun their relationship with a lie. Granted, she’d never intended to actually become engaged to a duke, but even still, she couldn’t blame him for being angry.
She’d betrayed him. In a far different way than his first fiancée but it was still a betrayal.
But her shoulders sagged again. Last night had been magical, transformative. She’d come alive in his arms, rediscovering herself in ways she never imagined. And if she could find that magic again perhaps they could be…happy together?
Because the real reason she could not just walk away was that, far more than just her financial future was at risk. More than anything, it was her heart that was in danger of being ruined.
Cassandra was falling in love with Damian and if she wasn’t careful, her feelings could be crushed before they even started their life together. She rubbed her arms, then crossed the room to ring for a bath. A good soak would help her think.
But after bathing and dressing she had no more answers.
She knew the vague outlines of her soon-to-be husband. What drove him, what sort of man he was but the truth was, she needed to know him better to understand fully how to win his heart back.
She made her way down to the breakfast room to find several people she didn’t know in attendance. Raithe sat next to a beautiful dark-haired woman, along with another handsome couple.
Damian was gone. Her heart skipped a beat. How could she convince him of her good intentions if he wasn’t in attendance?
“Cassandra.” Raithe stood as she entered. “I’d like you to meet Lady Charlotte Summerset.” Raithe put his arm around the woman who’d stood next to him. Turning toward her, his eyes glowed with affection, tender and achingly sweet.
She dropped her eyes, wincing. How did Charlotte get Raithe to look at her with such a glance? She tucked her envy away and crossed to take the woman’s hands. “I am so happy to meet you.”
“And I am thrilled to meet you.” The other woman reached out her hands. “Call me, Charlie. Please,” she said. “We’re to be family.”
Raithe turned to the other man. “And this is her cousin, His Grace, The Duke of Rathmore.”
The scent of roasted meats and lightly seasoned eggs filled the air, but she couldn’t face eating a single bite. Not with her stomach churning and clenching with regret and anxiety. But she hid her discomfort, dipping into a curtsy while greeting the duke. “Your Grace,” she said.
The other man gave her a warm smile. He was classically handsome in a way that instantly put her ease. “Mrs. Winterset. A pleasure.”
“Though it will soon be Lady Danesbury, I am told.”
Cassandra grimaced, nausea threatening to rise in her throat, but she gave a quick nod of assent.
She didn’t manage to hide her internal turmoil from everyone, she realized, when Charlie’s eyes narrowed to study her carefully.
Introductions over, Cassandra crossed to the buffet and helped herself to breakfast, then pushed around the food on her plate, vainly trying to hide her lack of appetite, silent as the others chatted.
Finally, Raithe stood. “I am sorry to have to leave so soon. But I must prepare for our journey and catch up with Danesbury.”
Charlie grimaced, her hand trailing over his arm. “We’ll miss you.”
Rathmore chuckled. “I like how you lumped me into the people who shall miss Balstead.”
Everyone laughed, even Cassandra. Then she realized, Charlie had travelled here to be with her fiancé, and he was leaving as soon as they’d arrived. “Raithe, you don’t have to go. I’m sure he’ll come back.” Her voice caught on the last word as she considered him not returning.
But he shook his head. “It will be fine, Cassandra. We’ll be back before you know it.”
Charlie gave her a large smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. Was that happiness or worry? “We should go on a walk this afternoon. You can show me the property.”
“Of course,” Cassandra answered. “I’ll show you anything you’d like. It will be your home.”
Raithe nodded as he stood again. “We’ll be leaving shortly. Your duke is anxious to get this journey started. He said something about leaving without me if I wasn’t ready on time.” Raithe quirked a half grin. “Besides. The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll return.”
She drew in a shaky breath. As things were, she wondered if that were true at all. She needed to have a private conversation with Damian. She needed to reach some understanding with Damian before he left.
She shifted, wondering how he would react. Was this a good idea or would this talk go as poorly as every other one they’d attempted to have?
Damian stood in the center of his room, tapping his foot. He and Raithe had agreed to leave at half past ten this morning. That would ensure they’d reach London by tomorrow evening and he could have a meeting with the archbishop on the following day.
He let out a long breath.
In other aspects of his life, he made quick and conclusive decisions based on instinct. They almost always worked for the best.
Except when it came to affairs of the heart.
Then he had terrible judgment, clearly. He scrubbed his hand through his hair. He likely should have just picked a debutante at random. He’d have had better luck. Then he thought about the fear and revulsion he’d likely see in her eyes.
And he remembered why he’d chosen Cassandra to begin with. When she looked at him, there was heat and fire.
But he was in danger of once again being burned.
Not physically, of course. Not like last time. Which, he had to confess, was a real improvement. Then again, she’d lied to him about her situation. What else had been a falsehood? Still, her calm, even temper suited him. Was there hope after all?
Perhaps if he could just keep some distance between them. Keep from losing all his reason and— a soft knock at the door made him t
urn. He knew it was Cassandra. Even her knock was light and lyrical.
Crossing the room, he opened the door to find her standing with her arms wrapped about herself. Upset as he was, he still wanted to pull her into his embrace and comfort her. She looked dejected and concerned.
“Hello,” she said, her soft voice tickling along his skin.
“Hello,” he replied, not sure what to say, precisely. They’d experienced a great high and a rather bothersome low all within a few hours’ time.
“May I come in?” she asked, pressing her palms into the folds of her skirts.
He swept his hand for her to enter into the room.
She tentatively stepped in, crossing toward the fire as she turned to face him again. “I wanted to speak with you before you left.”
He gave a single nod as he joined her by the fire.
He watched as she shifted, her gaze cast down toward the floor. “I wanted to tell you, last night, about my lie. I just got caught up in the moment.”
Realization made him scrub his face. She had been trying to tell him something. He remembered her trying multiple times. As usual, he’d barreled ahead. “I see.”
“It doesn’t excuse what I did but…” She twisted her hands together, shifting again.
He waved his hand. “It’s all right. You were trying to protect yourself.” He understood. He did. But it didn’t change the fact that he’d gotten a stiff reminder of how this situation could lead to another broken heart.
“Thank you for that.” She eyed him as she took a deep breath. “You’re not upset with me?”
“No,” he said. Which was more or less the truth. “We’re all doing the best we can to move forward with our lives and protect ourselves.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she assessed him. “Protection is important.”
He didn’t step any closer as he looked into the flames of the fire. “I’ll be back in five or six days. We’ll get married right away.”
He didn’t have to look to know she moved closer to him. “Damian.” She reached for his hand, the tips of her fingers lightly stroking his palm. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to marry.” He could feel her heat, her scent wrapped about him.
Romancing the Rake: Seven Regency Romances Page 62