By his estimation, they were at least a week away from their intended destination. Tired of dried meat and berries, and with their supply of flour running dangerously low, he decided fish would be a nice change to their evening meal. He was growing quite weary of dried meat, cheese, and bannock rations.
“I never thought I’d be lookin’ forward to eatin’ fish,” Graham admitted to Jamie. They sat along a rocky shore, each of them with a line and hook in the water. ’Twas a bit chilly and windy—weather not necessarily conducive to good fishing. But Graham remained ever hopeful.
With his legs outstretched, he leaned against a large boulder. “Me mum used to make fish stew,” Graham said. “But me grandmum? She made a baked fish that was so good, it makes me mouth water now just thinkin’ about it.”
“I miss venison,” Jamie told him. “Mum’s roast venison is so tender, it falls apart in yer hands. And her sweet cakes?” The boy whistled and rubbed his stomach. “She be a right good cook.”
Graham was taken back to that night in the inn. Gerold had told him that Leelah was not much to look at and a poor cook. He had also mentioned she possessed a sharp tongue and unearthly spirit. The man was a fool and a liar. While Graham may not be able to attest to her cooking skills, he could honestly proclaim her one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. And her spirit? Her spirit was the one thing that kept him going on this journey.
Graham closed his eyes, tucked his chin into his shoulder, and quickly drifted off to sleep.
As was becoming typical, he dreamt of Leelah. They were here, along the rocky shore. Leelah was in the water up to her shoulders. Those glorious, long brown tresses were unbound. She slipped under the cool water slowly, leaving behind little ripples behind.
Graham felt his heart pound against his chest when she finally broke through and began walking towards him. Tiny droplets of water clung to her lashes, her cheeks red either from a blush or the cold water. Graham.
’Twas as soft as silk against his skin, the way she said his name. Oddly, he felt both delighted and terrified. Delighted to hear her say it with such passion. Terrified for what that entailed.
So close, he could feel her breath against his cheek. Graham, she spoke his name again.
Slowly, he reached for her, excited at the prospect of touching her skin. She smiled, a brilliant dazzling smile. Just before his fingers touched her, she dipped her hands into the water and pulled out a fish the size of a horse. The fish brayed like the donkey, flipping and flopping, sending tiny droplets of water across his face.
“Graham!”
’Twas Jamie’s voice breaking through the dream. Startled, Graham sat up, his eyes wide. Instinctively, his hand went to the dirk in his belt.
“I caught one!”
Jamie was holding a large trout by the gills. The animal flopped angrily against his hold. Jamie was beaming.
Graham shook his head, a tad upset his dream had been interrupted. Yet, at the same time he was quite proud of the boy. “Well done, laddie. Well done.”
Graham had been thinking about fish for hours. Succulent, flavorful fish. With his heart set on something other than dried meat and cheese for their evening repast, he gladly volunteered to wash the nappies for Leelah.
As he walked away, leaving her with the children, a good fire, and heavy skillet, he heard her talking to Vonda. “Never has a man volunteered to wash nappies for me.”
“It should nae take too long to wash these, aye?” He all but skipped his way back to the loch, with the bag of nappies in one hand and a pot for washing them in the other.
In very little time he had a nice fire going and water heating. The chore was far more disgusting than he had anticipated. The nappies smelled exactly like what some were filled with. “God’s teeth, these stink!”
He made a mental note to ask Leelah how soon they could begin training the little lad to use a chamber pot.
He was thinking of a future that included Leelah and her children. A future very reminiscent of those he’d oft dreamed of in his youth. It struck his heart with as much force as a bolt of lightning.
Slowly, he sat down on the rocky bank with his arms resting on his knees. “Ye cannae do this to yerself,” he whispered. “Ye cannae do it to them.”
How many times in the past week had he taken the time to glimpse his future? And how many times did he see Leelah and the children in it?
“Ye’re a drunk. A gambler. A lay-about and womanizer, Graham Keith. Ye have nothin’ to offer anyone. Ye are nae the kind to settle down with a wife and bairns.”
He knew the latter to be nothing short of gospel. Hanging his head, he let out a long, heavy sigh. This be naught more than a physical attraction to a woman ye cannae have. If ye lose yer heart to it, ’twill be the death of ye.
For the first time in more than a year, her children played. Not quietly at her feet, worrying about repercussions for being too loud or too messy. Nay, they played like they used to, running and jumping, squealing with delight. Even Jamie was being louder than had become typical for him.
The fish sizzled in the skillet, the smell wafting in the evening breeze. Leelah kept a watchful eye on the fish and her children, but her mind was on something else altogether.
One Graham Keith.
I owe my children’s happiness to him, she mused quietly as she carefully flipped the fish over. He gave yer children back their sense of peace. And if I am bein’ honest, he gave it to me as well.
Leelah knew he was a good man. Of course, it was hidden under a gruff exterior. Beneath that, lay a decent man with a kind heart.
It was those glimpses into the truth of who he really was that tugged ever so gently at her heart. It also made her heart feel as heavy as a box made of lead.
She was smart enough to know that Graham couldn’t change his drinking, gambling, and whoring ways unless he wanted to. A man had to have a very good reason to want to change. Deep down she knew she wasn’t enough to bring that change about in Graham.
The children were playing too close to the fire, breaking through her quiet reverie. “Careful, children,” she said as she shooed them away.
Nappies. What man volunteers to wash nappies? Believing he simply volunteered because he didn’t want to wait too long for his dinner, she refused to read anymore into the act.
“Ye’re it!” Vonda squealed with delight. The little girl came running towards Leelah at a full run, just as Graham came through the brush.
He was smiling, his arms filled with clean and still wet nappies.
What transpired next would change all of their lives and hearts forever.
Jamie had been fast on his sister’s heels trying to catch her.
A happily squealing Vonda jumped into her mother’s lap without warning. Caught off guard, Leelah fell backwards, her feet caught on the handle of the skillet. Said skillet went flying into the air, flipping once, before landing upside down in the mud several inches from the fire.
Jamie gasped in horror as he skidded to a halt. Little Marra bumped into him, sending him to his knees.
Leelah rolled Vonda away and sat up on her elbows.
All eyes were on the skillet that hissed and gurgled in the mud. Everyone, even John, went quiet.
“Me fish,” Graham whispered. “Me fish.”
All eyes then turned to the man standing a few yards away, his arms filled with wet nappies. Graham looked crestfallen as he dropped the aforementioned nappies and headed toward the fire.
Jamie jumped to his feet and intercepted him. Wailing, he pounded his fists against Graham’s chest and legs. “Do nae hurt her! Do nae hurt her!”
“Jamie, lad, stop,” Graham exclaimed.
“If ye hurt her, I will kill ye!”
Tears streamed down the boy’s cheeks as he cried and wailed and pummeled Graham with all his might.
Graham grabbed the boy’s arms and knelt to look him in the eyes. “Jamie!” he gave the lad a little shake. “I was nae goin’ to harm yer mum! I w
as goin’ to help her.”
As the child sobbed, Graham did his best to calm the boy down. “Lad, let me help yer mum.”
Swallowing hard, Jamie nodded and watched as Graham rushed to Leelah’s side.
“Are ye hurt?” he asked while he helped her to sit.
Leelah shook her head as she stared up at him, disbelief filling her bright, teary eyes.
“Vonda?” Graham said as he lifted the little girl to her feet. “Are ye hurt?”
For the first time since he’d known the child, she was silent. She gave a quick shake of her head, her eyes filled with worry.
Graham stood and looked at each of these people he had quickly come to care a good deal for. Every one of them, even little John, was crying.
No one need explain Jamie’s outburst or their tears and panic-stricken faces.
“I will never hurt yer mum. I will never hurt any of ye. Of that, ye have my solemn vow.”
Graham stood perplexed. He had hoped his solemn vow to never hurt any of them would help assuage their fears and stop the crying. Instead, it only seemed to make them cry more.
“Yer fish,” Jamie muttered. “It be ruined.”
Graham poked a toe at the overturned skillet. “Aye, ye be right.”
“Are ye nae angry?” Vonda asked, swiping tears onto the sleeve of her dress.
“Angry?” Graham smiled at her. “Nay, nae angry. A wee bit disappointed, but nae angry.”
“But ye’ve talked of nothin’ but fish all afternoon,” Jamie pointed out.
Graham had to chuckle. Resting his fingertips on his hips, he said, “Aye, I was lookin’ forward to havin’ fish for our supper. But ’tis naught to cry over, aye? ’Tis just a fish.”
Glad to see the tears and sobbing were beginning to ebb, Graham decided to keep it that way. He grabbed a small basket from the handcart and gave it to Leelah. “Me thinks ye and Vonda should go look for berries.”
Disbelief was still prevalent in her eyes. Cautiously, she took the basket and called for the children.
“Leave Jamie and the little ones with me. They can help me erect the tent.”
Leelah was too stunned to argue. With a nod of her head, she took Vonda’s hand and headed into the small forest.
Graham had sent Leelah away simply because he thought she might like a few minutes alone to regain her composure. Vonda went along to make certain she didn’t wander too far or walk straight into the lake.
Turning his attention to Jamie, Marra, and John, he began to second-guess the decision to send their mother away. Jamie was still wiping his nose and tears on the sleeve of his tunic. Marra had two fingers stuck in her mouth, whilst John sat at her feet playing with the grass.
“Okay, ye wee beasties, we need a very large branch,” Graham said before scooping John into his arms.
“What for?” Jamie asked on a hiccup.
“To dry the nappies,” Graham replied.
With Marra clinging to Jamie’s hand, they went in the opposite direction as Leelah. In no time at all, they found a very large limb with plenty of branches. Together, Jamie and Graham dragged the limb back to the camp and set it close to the fire. Graham had forgotten all about the skillet until he stubbed his toe on it. The children held their breaths and waited for a tirade to commence. He refused to fulfill that dread. Instead, he laughed and made a jest. “I be as graceful as a three-legged goat, aye?”
Marra giggled, Jamie shook his head, and the babe tried wandering away. It took far longer to erect the tent that was normal. John kept heading toward the forest.
“Jamie, please fix the blanket, and we shall set your brother on it.”
Fixing the blanket was the easy part. Trying to keep John on it was an altogether different story. He simply would not stay put. Marra did try to help, but ’twas like leaving a kitten to mind a bull.
Graham was at his wits end trying to keep track of the babe, until he spotted the sling lying on the ground near the fire.
“That is nae how mum does it,” Jamie told him when he tried to put the babe into the sling first. “Ye put on the sling, then put John in it.”
After numerous attempts to tie the sling the way mum does it, he’d had enough. Graham lay the fabric out, much like he laid out his plaid. He folded lengthwise a few times before wrapping it around his stomach and chest. He tied it as tightly as he could, leaving just enough room to set John inside.
With the babe facing out, his little legs dangling, he was finally secured. “I claim this a victory,” Graham said with a triumphant grin.
Jamie and Marra scrunched their brows. “That is still nae the way mum does it,” Jamie pointed out. “But I suppose ’twill do.”
Ignoring the boy’s unintended insult, Graham asked, “Jamie, do ye ken how to catch a rabbit?”
Leelah and Vonda were lost, but only Leelah was privy to that bit of information. Were she to say anything, her daughter would become upset again. She had spent the last quarter of an hour trying to calm the little girl down, as well as herself.
“Why did he nae yell?” Vonda asked, utterly confused.
How did one explain to a six-year-old girl that not all men were the same? “Because he is a good man, Vonda. He be nothin’ at all like yer Uncle Gerold.”
“Were ye scared too?” the little girl asked.
Aye, for a terrifying long moment, Leelah had been afraid. While she had been holding to the belief that Graham was a good man, even good men had their limits.
But he hadn’t yelled, hadn’t used heavy hands to let everyone know of his displeasure. Instead, he told Leelah to go pick berries while he tended to the other children.
Nappies. The man washed nappies.
The more Leelah thought about that, the more tears she shed. And the less attention she paid to where they were. Before she realized it, they were good and truly lost. Panic set in, but only momentarily. If she’d learned anything in the past hour or so, it was that she could count on Graham. If she were gone for too long, he would search and eventually find her.
Pretending to look for berries, Leelah’s mind kept returning to Graham.
He was a handsome man, when he wasn’t frowning. His smile, when he shared it, was beginning to take her breath away. And his shoulders? A few days ago, she had gotten a glimpse of him without his shirt. He’d been washing up in a stream. Lord above, his shoulders alone were enough to make her swoon. Add to that his narrow waist, his flat stomach, and well-toned arms, and she found her mind wondering to places it shouldn’t.
More tears streamed down her cheeks when she realized he was only on this journey to return her home so he could obtain an annulment. Graham Keith didn’t want her or her children any more than he wanted to come down with a case of the pox.
Why, oh why did that thought hurt so much?
8
Leelah and Vonda finally made their way back to the camp. Leelah stopped abruptly, just at the edge of the clearing. What she saw made her want to weep all over again.
There, near the fire, was Graham Keith. On his back with his long legs stretched out. Next to him, snuggled into one arm was John, fast asleep. Lying on his chest was Marra, sucking on two fingers, as still and as quiet as a sleeping lamb. Graham was speaking to her in low, hushed tones as he patted her back ever so gently.
With his head butted against Graham’s, was Jaimie. He was twirling a long blade of grass betwixt his fingers.
Roasting over the fire was a rabbit.
The tent was up.
Nappies were drying on large branches.
Tears pooled again, and there was naught she could do to stop them.
’Twas as serene a thing as she’d ever seen.
“Mum, why are ye cryin’ again?” Vonda whispered.
Lying through her teeth, she said, “I stepped on a rock. My foot hurts.”
Vonda shrugged, let go of her mother’s hand, and went to invade the serenity Graham had managed to create.
“Wheesht,” he whispered with a smil
e. “Do nae wake yer brother.”
Vonda planted herself as close to Graham as she was able. “What are ye doin’?”
“Resting,” he replied. “It has been a verra long day.”
“We did nae find any berries,” she told him. “Are ye mad?”
Graham chuckled. “Nae, lassie. I am nae mad.”
“What are ye cookin’?”
“Rabbit.”
Vonda scrunched her brow and said, “Why did ye nae cook rabbit earlier? Instead of fish?”
“I should have, aye?”
His smile, in that moment, with the late afternoon sun shining down, the children nestled quietly next to him, was akin to getting a peek at heaven. ’Twas also a glimpse into Graham Keith’s true heart and a look at the man he could be.
Graham could see Leelah standing at the forest’s edge with a most peculiar expression on her face. Rosy cheeks, damp with tears, glistened in the sunlight. Though why she was crying again, he couldn’t rightly say. Women be the most perplexing of all God’s creatures.
Unable to move, what with all the children resting around him like bear cubs, he simply said, “The rabbit has at least half an hour before it be done.”
Jamie, lounging on the blanket like a roman statesman said, “I caught it myself,” as if catching rabbits were an everyday occurrence.
“I did nae ken ye knew how to catch a rabbit,” Leelah murmured. She still hadn’t moved.
“Graham showed me.”
Leelah’s eyes locked with Graham’s.
“He be a fast learner,” Graham said with a smile.
Spotting the quiet tears that streamed down her cheeks, Graham asked, “Lass, why are ye cryin’?”
With Love from the Highlands : A Highlander Love Story Duet, One Page 23