Decadent

by Alexx Andria

  I wasn’t accustomed to being useless. I needed to work. There wasn’t a place for me here. As much as I was quickly becoming absorbed by Alessandra, that was unhealthy. What I was going through was simple lust. I was infatuated with her body and her beauty. It would fade and then what? I’d have lost everything.

  No, I had to stay the course. Even if the idea of crushing Alessandra hurt my soul, I would do it because in the end, nothing truly lasted anyway.

  My stomach roiled at my decision. In defiant response, I downed my wine and poured a fresh glass. I was a Donato. I wasn’t like my brothers. I didn’t believe in love and I didn’t believe in throwing away everything that ever meant anything to someone over a temporary emotion.

  Unlike a romantic comedy, real life sucked.

  The guy didn’t always get the girl.

  Sometimes the guy screwed the girl over, left her behind in the wreckage and boarded a plane to go home to his empty life.

  You said it...empty life.

  All I had was my work and I’d ceased to be fulfilled by the thrill of the office a long time ago. I was an asshole because I was miserable.

  There was a reason I found happy couples annoying—because I didn’t have what they did.

  It was jealousy.

  Jesus, I was fucking jealous of what I couldn’t have, what I pushed away and rejected.

  Alessandra was the real deal. I could love her. Hell, I probably already did. I couldn’t get enough of her, that much I knew.

  But that didn’t change my situation. I could be crazy in love with Alessandra and it didn’t change a damn thing.

  I had no place in her world.

  So, the question was, did I walk away now without destroying her legacy, so my father couldn’t get his grubby hands on her winery, or did I deliver what I was expected to because there was no future between us and clinging to what I knew was the lesser of two evils?

  I didn’t have the answer.

  All I knew was I wanted Alessandra curled up beside me more than anything right now.

  Fuck.

  Sleep wasn’t going to find me tonight.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Alessandra

  I HADN’T HEARD from Dante since leaving his hotel room and the launch was tonight. In spite of my bold words, I hadn’t invited anyone else. I didn’t want anyone else on my arm. My nerves were stretched taut. I hadn’t talked to my father about the launch, and I couldn’t account for my hesitancy. All I knew was, each time I tried to gather the courage, I chickened out and pushed the task away. Now I found myself out of time.

  Surprisingly, Como hadn’t tattled on me, which I found curious. I thought if he was seeking revenge, that would be the route he’d go. Nothing had been leaked to the press either. I could only hope he’d had a sudden change of heart, and out of shame for his behavior, decided to simply leave me and the launch alone.

  As a precaution, though, I had talked to security about making sure they spoke to me if he tried to get into the event tonight. I didn’t hate Como—we’d shared too much—but life had a way of removing the people we’d outgrown, and I wasn’t going to question what God had set in motion.

  I said a prayer for Como’s happiness and moved on. As if on cue, my nonno walked in, the signature sound of his oak cane hitting the hardwood floor ingrained in my mind. I smiled before even seeing him. A visit from Nonno was always a welcome respite, especially so when my nerves were drawn tight.

  “Have you come to check up on me?” I asked.

  “The launch is tonight. Are you excited?”

  “Very.” And nervous enough to vomit. “Are you excited?”

  “I am proud,” he said, resting his hand on the knob of his cane. “You have come very far, my patatina.”

  “I haven’t told my father about the wine we are debuting. He thinks it’s another campaign for the Classico Riserva.”

  He clicked his tongue and shook his head with amusement. “My granddaughter lives for the thrill.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. I’m just a coward who can’t seem to find her tongue.”

  “You are no coward,” he corrected me. “Bravery isn’t the absence of fear. It’s pushing forward in spite of the fear.”

  “So full of wisdom,” I said, winking at my handsome grandfather. My heart swelled with love for the old man but I needed direction, not cute snippets. “Tell me what to do. I’m not sure how to handle this. Should I wait and let him discover our new wine when everyone else does or should I face the dragon and tell him now?”

  Nonno chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t need to tell you anything. You know what the right decision is.”

  He was right. I hung my head, knowing the answer. I needed to give my father a heads-up before tonight. Worry ate into my voice. “But what if he’s angry?”

  Nonno shrugged. “Then he will be angry and then he will get over it.”

  So simple. Why couldn’t I embrace my nonno’s reasoning? My heart hurt along with my head. The fact was, I wanted my father’s blessing and I was afraid I would never have it because he didn’t think me capable of making bold decisions.

  If I failed, it would only cement my father’s belief that he was right.

  If I succeeded, maybe it would turn the wheel in my father’s head that change was good and not to be feared.

  Or maybe he would cling to the hurt caused by my betrayal and never forgive me, no matter my accomplishment.

  There were a lot of maybes.

  My thoughts drifted unhappily to Dante, where even more questions tugged at my brain.

  I wanted Dante more than anyone I’d ever known. It was a foreign feeling and it scared me. When I closed my eyes I saw him in my future. I wanted to laugh, cry, fight, make love—everything that made up a full life—with Dante. I could accept no substitutes.

  “You have that look in your eyes that your mind is elsewhere. Is there something else you need to talk about?”

  I laughed. “Since when did you become a therapist, Nonno?”

  “It comes with age. Nothing else works but my mind so might as well put it to good use.”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, annoyed with myself that I was letting the situation with Dante get the better of me. “Something I need to work out on my own.”

  Nonno’s knowing smile made me feel transparent. Was I really that easy to read? Or was my grandfather a mind reader of some sort? Drawing himself up to his full height, he said, “Your father will come around. As for the other man in your life, if he’s worthy of you, he’ll come around, too. If not, he was never strong enough to stand beside you, my girl.”

  And with that, he smiled and promised to see me tonight, wearing his best tuxedo and a proud smile.

  My eyes pricked with emotion. Why couldn’t life be as simple a picture as my grandfather painted?

  Maybe it was that simple and I was the one complicating things. I was overthinking everything. Anxiety had sharpened my worst edges and I was cutting myself on the blades.

  Nonno was right in all things. When my father put me in charge, it was with the understanding that I would make decisions he might not always agree with, but that they were my decisions to make. I used my own money to fund the tenerones and if Uva Persa did as well as I thought it would, I’d make my own fortune apart from the Baroni trust while pushing the family business into a new world of possibilities.

  I closed my eyes and said a prayer to Enzo for his strength and his courage. “This is your dream, brother,” I murmured. “Help me to make it successful.”

  I waited for my heart to stop its frantic beating and headed for my father’s section of the manor. He was retired but he enjoyed tootling around the winery. Thankfully, he had a pretty set schedule so I knew I would find him in his solar, enjoying his caffe corretto—coffee with sweet grappa, or white brandy.
/>   True to form, I found my father and he smiled as I entered. I loved my father fiercely but this conversation was likely going to test us both.

  “Ah, my beautiful flower, how is my Alessandra today?” He gestured to the empty seat and I accepted his offer, sliding into the solid chair with a small smile. “Every day you look more like your mama. I am a lucky man to have such a beautiful daughter.” He snapped the newspaper shut and grasped his cup to sip at his coffee. “Have you spoken with Alberico lately? I thought you two looked quite nice together at the fund-raising event, which by the way, went very well. Well done, as always.”

  My father was never short on praise when it came to my skills as a party planner, but he seemed to forget that I did far more to keep Castello di Baroni relevant. Well, after I broached the current topic dancing on my tongue, all that would change.

  Was I ready? I had to be.

  “Papa, I need to talk to you about something regarding the party tonight,” I said, catching his attention.

  “Is it about Alberico?” he asked, hope in his eyes. “He is a good match. I would enjoy seeing you and him become a couple.”

  My mouth firmed with irritation. “Papa, you need to forget about a match between Alberico and me. It is not going to happen. No more talk of this. Please, I need you to focus and listen to what I’m about to tell you.”

  “Did he insult you in some way? Did he take liberties?” My father was instantly ready to slay the poor man whom only seconds ago he’d been hoping to add to the family. If I hadn’t been on edge about the true conversation I came to have, I would’ve been charmed by his protectiveness.

  “No, Papa, he has always been the perfect gentleman,” I said, assuring my father but added, “However, I am not interested in him and I never will be.”

  Papa chuckled with a resigned sigh. “I will not push it any further. I only thought to help.”

  “I know, Papa,” I said, forgiving him for his unfortunate matchmaking efforts. I did add for his benefit, “I do, however, think that Alberico and Sophia would make a lovely match.”

  “Eh? Sophia?” Papa repeated, surprised. He sipped his caffe in thought, mulling over the idea. It took only seconds for him to approve. He had come to love Sophia as if she and Enzo had already married and she’d become his daughter. “I should’ve seen this myself. Yes, Sophia and Alberico...much better suited for one another. We should host a dinner and invite them. Sophia doesn’t get out nearly enough. This is good,” he declared as if it’d been his idea. It struck me that perhaps I was doing to Sophia what my father had done to me when he tried to play matchmaker, but I was pleased he was open to the idea. I smiled, glad that was done. Now the bigger conversation remained.

  “Thank you,” I murmured, searching for the right way to bring up Uva Persa. The coward in me wanted to run but I respected my father too much to let him discover my venture with strangers. It was inexcusable I’d waited this long as it was. I couldn’t wait a moment longer. “There is something else I need to discuss with you, Papa.”

  “What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, frowning with concern.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Do you remember when I approached you five years ago with my idea to plant tenerone grapes?”

  Papa’s frown deepened as the memory returned. “Yes. Why? Please don’t tell me you’re revisiting the topic. We have always made our way with Sangiovese. We are Chianti Classico and we need not mess with a winning formula. Besides, it’s a foolhardy gamble. There is a reason why the gorgottesco and the tenerone fell into extinction.”

  The same old argument. “I planted them,” I said, throwing it out there like a gauntlet, mentally girding my loins for the explosion that was likely to happen. “I invested my own money with the help of Nonno and planted tenerone grapes. I harvested them and the fruition of that experiment is what we will be launching tonight.”

  Stunned silence followed as Papa stared. “What?” Papa said, his mouth trembling as he processed what I’d admitted. The betrayal in his eyes killed me but I could not regret my decision, whether he believed it was foolhardy or not. “You disobeyed me?”

  “I am not a child, Papa. I run Castello di Baroni and I do it well. I haven’t been the child you believe I am for quite some time. I weighed the risks and presented my information to you, which you disbelieved, but Nonno believed the risk was acceptable and he invested with me.” I reached across the table to grasp his hand. “Papa, it is good. The tastings have exceeded expectations. This is the wine that will put Castello di Baroni back on the royal tables as we once were.”

  His eyes watered as he stiffened his bottom lip. “You lied to me.”

  “I never lied,” I corrected him gently. “I simply withheld the truth.”

  “The same.”

  “No, I wanted this to be a success and I wanted it to be my own. This is my chance to show you that I am the right choice—not the only choice—for Castello di Baroni’s future. Even if Enzo were still alive, it would be me, not him, who would see this winery to new heights. You need to finally see me for who I am, not who I was.”

  I was taking a chance. Pushing my father to see me in my own light. To see the woman I’d become.

  “Enzo was a dreamer, a visionary. He was the one who told me about the tenerone when we were kids. He wanted to see the ancient varietals return. I took his vision and made it happen.” Tears pricked my eyes. I so desperately needed my father to believe in me. “And it’s going to be successful, but I want your blessing. I can do this without you...but I don’t want to.”

  A long moment stretched between us until the tension was enough to choke the air from my lungs. Papa pulled his hand free and rose stiffly. My hopes slowly sank as he said, “I’m sure you have work to attend to. You are, after all, a busy woman.”

  And he left me sitting at the table, alone and afraid that I’d just crushed my father’s love.

  Nonno said Papa would come around, but what if he didn’t? What if the success of Uva Persa came at the cost of my relationship with my only living parent?

  Wiping at my tears, I shoved my pain to the bottom of my heart and silently rose to finish preparing for tonight.

  Papa was right in one regard—I was a busy woman. My doubts would have to wait.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Dante

  I WASN’T GOING to attend the launch.

  Seemed a dick move to show up after everything that had been said, but it seemed like an equally crappy move to bail. This was Alessandra’s shining moment. I could fairly feel the tension in the air even though we were apart. I’d done nothing in the past few days except wander around Italy without her, soaking in the good weather and trying to enjoy the time away from work. And ignoring calls from my father. Alessandra was likely running herself ragged trying to make sure everything went as planned for her big night.

  I couldn’t fathom letting her face the highs and lows alone.

  Which was how I ended up walking into the high-end gala launch, dressed to the nines, searching for the woman of the hour. I found her easily. My gaze stuck to her like a magnet drawn to metal. She took my breath away.

  I would never tire of Alessandra in my sights. The floor-length white gown she wore clung to her soft curves while her dark hair curled in lazy waves down her back. Everything in me tightened with need and desire but it was pride that rose to the forefront. This was her accomplishment, her crowning glory. Uva Persa promotional posters hung gracefully from the walls while the tables glittered with crystals and beautiful accessories. Everything in the decor succeeded in entrancing the guests and enhancing the experience. The event, similar to the Una Notte Magica, swam with elegance and wealth. I was so damn proud of her.

  I went straight to her, sliding my arm around her waist and drawing her to me. She gasped when she realized it was me and her gaze narrowed. “Can I help you?”

 
“I seem to remember being asked to be someone’s date for tonight,” I reminded her, my gaze going to her full lips, wishing I could taste her right there. “Have I already been replaced?”

  I waited for a pithy response but instead she shook her head, admitting, “There is no replacing you, Dante.”

  Her answer tripled my heartbeat and I struggled to remain in control when I wanted to hoist her in my arms and find a dark corner. I leaned in to whisper in her ear, “You’ve done an incredible job. Uva Persa is going to be a shining new jewel in the Castello di Baroni crown and I can’t imagine a more fitting queen to rule than you.”

  I pulled away and saw with quickening breath, her eyes glittered with tears. I smiled with a playful warning as I handed her a napkin, “Don’t cry. You’ll ruin your makeup.”

  “I am not going to cry,” she retorted but carefully dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “What made you change your mind and come?”

  “You.”

  It was the simplest answer and the most honest. “I spent the week going over in my head all the reasons why it made sense to catch a plane out of Italy before the launch but each time I tried to make the reservation, I couldn’t follow through. I don’t want to leave but I don’t know what I’ll do if I stay. I’m still in a quandary but I knew the right place for me tonight was here with you.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice strangled with emotion. “I’m happy you’re here with me. Happier than you could possibly know.”

  I was, too. Mindful of her makeup, I kissed her sweetly. I didn’t care who was watching. Hell, I wanted everyone to see that Alessandra was mine. We’d figure out the rest later. For now, I wanted to stand by her side and watch her shine.

  Alessandra’s bright smile lit up my soul and I realized I could bask in that sunny light for the rest of my life and never miss a moment spent in the dark ever again.

  “Looks like I’m missing more than a status report.”

  The dry retort of a familiar voice stopped me cold. I turned to find my father staring at me and Alessandra, his gaze narrowed and speculative, and I wanted to have him escorted from the building before he ruined the first good thing in my life.