“What in the hell did that husband of yours do with you when all that shit was going down and they had to be on lockdown?”
I just shrugged my shoulders. “I stayed at the farmhouse,” I told her.
Leanne’s eyes were rounded in surprise, but her nostrils flared in anger. “Does Chief know that?”
“I assumed he did,” I stated.
“I’m thinking he did not,” Leanne shot back. “Dear Lord, anything could have happened to you. What in the hell was that husband of yours thinking?”
“I’m guessing he was thinking I might have ran into a few of the club whores who might have spilled some of his secrets.” I sighed then. “The more I learn about how sheltered I was from his life the more I wonder if he ever even really gave a shit about me or if I was just some trophy he collected. How could I have been so blind to it all?”
“Oh, sweetie, that’s the bitch of life. Sometimes we see what we want. Other times, we see it and still just ignore it because we feel like we’re supposed to for some stupid reason. I’m sure when you first got together with him things were different. Then you went with what you thought was expected even if it wasn’t what you hoped for. It became habit, and habits are hard to break. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“I do though, because now I feel like all that time was wasted.”
She blew out a breath and then smiled brightly at me. “Sweetie, it was never wasted if it got you to where you are right now.” She patted my tummy knowing there wasn’t anyone around to see. “Blessings come when we least expect them sometimes, but they only come after the perfect storm gets us to a point where we can receive them.” She had no way of knowing how her storm reference would affect me, or what it meant. So when I burst into tears Leanne panicked a bit. “I’m so sorry, what did I say?”
I tried waving her off. “Sorry, it’s just my wake up call came on the heels of a storm,” I explained.
“The lord works in mysterious ways then,” she stated while nodding her head. “Let’s go down so I can show you where everything is and where you’ll be staying.”
We walked down the carpeted stairway with Bubba trailing behind me carefully, never coming close enough that he might trip me up. He was such a good boy. When we got to the bottom the there was a small hallway that opened up into a large open room that looked like a giant living room with couches everywhere. There were a couple kids playing on a game station over in one corner, and there was an entire wall made of bookshelves. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing there would at least be something to keep me occupied besides Bubba.
We moved past the common area to where a hallway split down to the left and right. There were doors down either side, and Leanne explained that this was the hall for the people with children so that they were closer to the family room. Then we continued down the right side of the hallway until it turned and started a new one. “Down here is where you’ll be. They like to keep the childless couples a little further away on account of the noise.”
“Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t mind hearing them once in a while.”
Leanne laughed at that. “Oh, sweetie, I wasn’t talking about the noise the kids make. I was talking about the noise that usually ends up with us needing more family space in nine months.”
“Oh.” I joined her laughter then. “Well, not quite nine months for me. Honestly though, I’m not sure how far along I am.”
Once we were at the door to the room I would have Leanne took us inside and shut it behind the three of us. “Sorry, didn’t want anyone overhearing.” All levity disappeared, and I knew whatever she was about to say probably wasn’t going to make me happy. “Is it possible,” she started and then bit her lip, seeming to second-guess her question. “Do you think it’s Smokes, or is it possible that you’re carrying your husband’s baby?”
It was my turn to laugh. I laughed so hard tears began to form in my eyes, and when they started to fall my laughter stopped and I just cried because my answer was so damn sad. “I’d be big as a house by now if it was Walker’s. I’ve been here almost two months now. I kicked Walker out two months before that. It was another three before that since we’d slept together, because we were fighting so much about everything. He was refusing to come home to sleep with me when our chances were the best, and since he did that, I punished him by refusing to sleep with him any other time. Apparently, it wasn’t punishment since he had backups for his needs.” I rolled my watery eyes as I said the last. “My point is that I’d be about to pop already if it were Walker’s baby. There’s no way. Besides, I had a period a couple weeks before I moved here, and they were regular before that too.”
“I wasn’t trying to be mean,” Leanne added sadly.
“I know. I’m sure it’s the same question a lot of other people will be asking too.”
“It’s no one’s business,” she reminded me. “Mine included.”
I gave her a watery smile then. “You are my friend, and you are trying to be there for me. That makes it your business.” I finally took a moment to glance around the room. It was basically a large bedroom with a queen size bed, a small loveseat at the end of the bed, two tall chest of drawers on either side of a standard dresser on top of which sat a television. There was a door off to the far right of those pieces and upon further inspection it led to a small bathroom that had a sink, toilet, and a shower that was standing room only. No bathtub in sight, which I supposed wasn’t a huge deal. “This place is nicer than a hotel,” I commented.
Leanne grunted out a half-laugh, half pained sound. “It’ll be nice for about 48 hours, and then cabin fever sets in and the walls will close in around you.” Her shoulders shook with an involuntary shiver.
“Do you think we’ll be here that long?”
“Who knows? The guys still aren’t back and it’s been a full day already now.” I glanced down at the time on my phone and realized she was right. The guys had been gone for a full 24 hours at this point, and I was starting to get tired, and a tad queasy. Leanne and I left to go grab some food, take Bubba for a walk out back, and then I retreated to my room to get some sleep, because I was suddenly feeling exhausted, and worried about how to approach Smoke with my news. Leanne seemed to think he’d take it well, but I honestly didn’t know him well enough yet to make that call. All signs pointed to him wanting to be in a committed relationship with me, but an unwanted pregnancy in the mix could change things. I couldn’t believe I’d been so damn stupid that I hadn’t even thought about using birth control. It had been five years since I’d been on anything. I fell asleep with all of those thoughts running through my mind.
~*~
Waking up the next day left me disoriented, because I was a in a strange place and Bubba was whining to me while watching the door. I wasn’t sure if that was a warning, the dog needing to go out, or what. It was hard to tell since there were so many people around the clubhouse. “You need to go out, buddy?” He whined a little louder then, so I assumed his answer was yes. “I hope you don’t mind if I go first,” I told him as I got up and hurried into the bathroom suddenly feeling a bit sick with the movement. After doing my business and puking my guts up I grabbed the small pack of crackers Leanne had ordered me to take back to my room with me the night before. I started gnawing on one as I took Bubba to go head out for a quick break in the backyard.
It took us a while to make it outside because every single child in the family room wanted to pet the dog, and then some of the women we ran into along the way as well. I was headed back inside when Leanne found me.
Her blond hair was swept up into a high ponytail and she had her girls trailing after her. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Just a pack of crackers.”
“Come on, you can grab some breakfast with us, because I just got word the guys are on their way back, and it didn’t sound like they bringing good news with them.”
“What does that mean?”
“That’s all I know,” sh
e stated. “These are the times when I doubt if I’m right for this life. Even after all the years I’ve been with Ghost and watched Angel Girl living it too. I can tell by his voice that it won’t be good news, and all I can do is wait to find out how bad, who it’s about, and how it will affect us and everyone we care about.”
I offered a small smile to the woman as we moved into a kitchen area where the smell of cooking breakfast meats turned my stomach in a violent way. I ran for the trashcan I saw, because I didn’t have to time to ask where a bathroom was. Once I was done puking Leanne hurriedly ushered me out of the kitchen. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
“Me either, apparently. Chicken soup did that to me yesterday too. I’m thinking I’ll have to become vegetarian or something.” I did not even attempt to hide the disgust in my voice. It wasn’t that I had anything against being vegetarian or vegan or whatever, I just enjoyed and craved meat.
“If you’re anything like I was the smell is hateful, but the taste is wonderful. You’ll figure it out in just enough time for the sickness to finally abate and then you’ll have new, and interesting symptoms like having to pee every five minutes.”
“You make it sound so wonderful,” I teased then watched as she gazed at her darling twin girls.
“It really is though. Every miserable part leads to that,” she pointed at the girls who were lost in their own world playing with Bubba as we moved further away from the kitchen. “How about I bring you something, and you can go wait in the family room downstairs?”
“Sure,” I agreed.
We were just finishing our food when we heard the commotion. It was faint, but the rumbling of motorcycle engines had me running Bubba down to my room and putting him inside before taking off to the upper level in search of all the other adults and news. The men started trailing in looking grim, and my stomach sank as each new face through the door wasn’t my brother or my man.
Finally, Chief came through the door wearing an expression I hadn’t seen since our family. My stomach rolled, and there was no holding it back at that point. I ran for the bathroom, and emptied the breakfast I managed to get down into the toilet. Once I finished and was able to pull myself together I found my way back out into the main lounge area where all the club parties and whatnot were held. I didn’t see Chief once I reemerged nor did I see Smoke. Instead I saw Leanne, crying into Ghost’s shoulder. I started moving toward them when an arm snaked out around my waist and pulled me into a body that was most definitely not Smoke’s. I turned to see my brother standing there, unshed tears dancing in his eyes.
“Smoke?” I questioned.
“Fine,” my brother managed to get out. “He’s at the hospital,” he started and upon seeing the panic that must have flared in my eyes he immediately shook his head. “It’s not him. He’s there with Brantley.”
“Brantley? What happened to Brantley?”
“There was an accident, or fuck, I don’t know exactly what happened yet. They were run off the road. Soph, Bender, and Brant were all in Soph’s car.” His shoulders began to shake and I had a horrible feeling I knew where this was going, because he’d only said Smoke was at the hospital with Brantley. I just stood and waited for confirmation that came too quickly, and I hated being right. “Soph and Bender didn’t make it,” the words were broken by him trying to choke back sobs. My brother was grieving for his other family right now. I threw my arms around him and held on tight as his whole body shook with his emotion.
“I need to go to Smoke,” I whispered in his ear. He nodded his head.
“I know. I’ll get a prospect to take you. I need to be here right now. There was,” he started to say and then shut up. It made me curious about the accident. “There were people in near the scene that shouldn’t have been there. We’re looking into it. Not so sure it was an accident, Pop. Thinking it might be retaliation for what we did to help Shep out.”
“No!” I sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case, because if it was Smoke was going to take his sister’s death even harder than he already would. Guilt was a heavy burden to bear, and knowing Smoke he would feel that even if he shouldn’t. His little sister was gone, her husband – his club brother – also gone, and their child was in the hospital. There was no way the guilt wouldn’t fall on his shoulders. “Does Shep know this?” Chief shook his head in the negative. “Someone might want to let him know.” Chief looked as though he was about to protest, but I stopped him. “I know it’s club business now, but it started with his family business that he dragged you guys into. He deserves to know, especially since Smoke may blame him too.”
Chief’s shoulders sagged back down again as he realized what I was saying. Smoke wouldn’t only blame Shep, he’d blame himself, and that wasn’t something I knew him well enough to calculate what his reaction might be, but Chief did. I could see in his eyes and his stance that things might turn out so well in that regard.
“Your sister’s a pretty smart woman, I’m actually about to head out to go see Shep.” Ghost stated quietly. I wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing close enough to hear us, but he was apparently agreeing with me.
“I need you to go with your sister to the hospital. Don’t send a prospect. I’m going to need someone I trust, someone Smoke trusts to be there when it all sinks in and hits him,” Ghost directed my brother and then he turned to me. “I called Kent, and he’s on his way. Brant is going to need someone for a while. Kent won’t be able to take him, and I know for a fact that Soph and Bender’s wishes were that he went to Smoke if anything happened to them. I’m just not sure Smoke’s going to be up to the challenge at first.” I nodded understanding completely what he was asking of me.
“I won’t let them down,” I assured him before Ghost pulled me into a tight hug and whispered in my ear. “I’m glad you’re ours right now, Poppy. Take care of our boys for us.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes as emotion swelled in my throat. Almost seamlessly my body was transferred from Ghost’s embrace to that of my brother who also hugged me before pulling me along behind him to the parking lot where he got on his bike and took my car, following him to the hospital to figure out what the damage was there and how my boys were going to need me.
We were guided into a private room in the emergency room once we arrived and the sight that greeted me was just heartbreaking. Smoke was sitting in a chair beside a bed, holding Brantley’s little hand in his own while his head rested on the mattress beside it. Brantley appeared banged up with bruises on one half of his face, and probably elsewhere though I couldn’t see anything else due to the covers and Smoke’s body hiding the rest. He was only hooked up to what looked like a heart monitor, no tubes, or anything that seemed to indicate things were dire. I moved quietly into the room, closer to Smoke, and before I could announce my presence he stirred and glanced up at me. It took him a moment to get his bearings as sleepiness sloughed off of him like a blanket he was shedding in the morning. I watched as awareness of overtook and heartbreak melted into his features before his body shook and he broke right there in front of me.
I didn’t hesitate and went straight to him, pulling his head into my midsection and holding him there, rocking back and forth, giving my strength to him as best I could. “Shh,” I cooed. “I’m here. Chief’s here. Whatever you need, we are here for you, Love, I promise.” The endearment just slipped out, but I felt his arms tighten around my thighs as it did. I wasn’t sure if it was from that, the assertion that we were there for him, or just the fact that he needed someone to hold on to. It didn’t really matter in the big scheme of things. I had grown to love the man, and I was there for him in whatever capacity he needed me.
“I need to get a hold of Kent,” Smoke finally stated as he released me and swiped at his eyes with his shirtsleeves.
“I already did, Brother.” Chief moved forward and came to stand beside us so he could speak quietly. “They were already in the air headed to Anaheim to play the Ducks. The team is sending him back the minute the land.”<
br />
“That’s good then.” Smoke spoke as if he were far away from the situation, the room, and was looking in as an observer. It was so detached that I began to worry until he snapped out of it. “Do they know yet?”
Chief shook his head in answer. “Ghost has people working on it now. It won’t take long.”
Smoke nodded. “I need to get in touch with Shep and let him know, just in case.”
“Ghost went to loop him in,” Chief explained as Smoke eyed him warily. Chief’s lips tipped up in a somber smile as he lifted his chin to indicate me. “She was telling me that Shep should be made aware just in case, and Ghost overheard. He assured us that Poppy was right and he was headed over to do just that so we could be here for you and Brant.”
Smoke’s hand found its way to my thigh again, and he squeezed lightly. I just kept an arm around his shoulder and continued rubbing small circles on his back. I didn’t know what else to do. “I need to talk to Chief a minute. Could you sit with Brant?”
“Of course, but um, what if he wakes?”
“Just distract him as best you can until I get back. I won’t be long.” Smoke stood, leaned in and kissed the top of my head as he helped me into the chair he’d just vacated, and then he left the room with my brother in tow. I glanced down at Brantley lying there so still and peaceful, and wondered what he would think of his world when his sleep ended and he learned the horrible truth. How did you tell a toddler that he just lost his whole world? My heart ached for him, as my belly rolled, reminding me that I had my own little one growing inside me. It hurt to think that I might somehow end up not being there to see him or her grow up. My heart broke for Sophie and Bender then, because they were going to miss just as much as their boy would. I promised them right then and there that so long as I was able to be in his life I would make sure he didn’t miss out on a single experience, because hopefully they’d be watching down on their boy from heaven. I remembered back to the barbecue when I’d first met Brant and Sophie. The pride in Bender’s eyes as he listened to his son saying naughty words and telling his momma she was going to get a spankin’. I remembered the protective way Sophie’s eyes trailed the little boy everywhere he went. They loved him fiercely, and now he was going to need every adult in his life doing the same to make up for that kind of loss.
Redemption Weather Page 17