I was holding Brant’s tiny little hand in my own and making a huge list of promises to two dead people that I hardly knew when a little voice called out to me. “Popwee?” It was scratchy with sleep, and when I looked up into his sweet face it was scrunched in pain. “Popwee I feels owie.”
I hit the button for the nurse immediately, and moved a little closer to Brant as I did. “I know, sweetie. I just called for the nurse to come in, okay?”
“Popwee, where my momma?”
Oh God! I was not equipped to answer this. “Hey, sweetie, let’s get you checked out by the nurse first, then we’ll talk about your momma, okay?” He nodded his head and winced as he did so. Poor baby.
“The car went boomed, Popwee.”
“I know, sweetie.” I told him and felt my heart drop right down into my stomach. Where was the damn nurse?
“Momma screamed weal loud,” he told me quietly. “She was scawed. She yelled my name. Then she didn’t yell no mowe.” His little lip poked out and began to tremble. I had a feeling he already knew what we were going to tell him even though he was far too little to be able to comprehend. “Popwee, why da big truck crunch us?”
“Hey little guy, how are you?” The nurse interrupted, finally.
“He says he’s owie, and looked to be in a lot of pain,” I explained. The nurse nodded.
“I bet you are, honey. We’re going to fix the owie right up, okay?”
“Otay,” Brantley told her as I looked around hoping to see Chief or Smoke. I remembered my phone in my pocket and texted both of them the same message.
Brant is awake. He asked why the big truck crunched them. He’s asking for his momma, and I don’t know what to tell him.
I didn’t get a response, but I didn’t have to wait long either. Before the nurse was finished giving Brant some medicine the guys were moving into the room quickly. Chief came over and gave me a side hug as Smoke moved to the side of his nephew’s bed.
“Hey, little man, you hangin’ in there?”
“Unc Moke,” the boy offered sluggishly. “My gots owies.”
“I know you have owies, Brant. The doctors are fixing you up as quick as they can so you can be even stronger when you leave here.”
“Me Batman?” It was a question, but a sleepy one.
“Yeah, Bud, just like Batman.” He couldn’t have picked a worse or better superhero to identify with could he? The boy who lost both his parents to what was shaping up to be a horrible crime. My heart clenched in response to that realization.
“I gave him a little something for the pain, but unfortunately it will make him super sleepy,” the nurse explained when everyone just sat there quietly watching the little boy fall back asleep. “Probably for the best, considering.” With that she turned back to me and added. “Just hit the button and call again if you need anything. I’m not sure if they’ll be moving him upstairs to the pediatric wing or not. I do know they want to keep him here for at least 24 hours to watch and make sure there weren’t any internal injuries didn’t present right away.”
“Thank you,” I told her and she left quickly. I wasn’t sure if the guys’ overly large presence, or maybe their kuttes, unnerved her, but she was not able to get out of the room quickly enough.
Once she was gone Smoke turned to me. “What exactly did he say?”
I really didn’t want to tell him the first part, because it made me think that maybe Soph had suffered a bit before she died. I couldn’t hold it back though, because no doubt Brant would repeat himself later. “He told me his momma was screaming and then she wasn’t. Then he asked why the big truck crunched them. He was in a lot of pain. That’s really all he said other than to tell me he hurt.”
Not even thirty minutes later Shep, Ghost, and Leanne came throw the door in a hurry. It appeared that Ghost and Leanne were just trying to follow in after Shep, who was white as self-condemnation poured from him in waves. “No!” His word was a choked sob. “Tell me this isn’t my doing,” I could feel the guilt and heartache in every word he spoke. I had been worried about Shep feeling this and only meant to warn him of possible misplaced anger, but I hadn’t thought about Shep taking the responsibility of everything on his own shoulders.
Smoke turned to him, watching warily a moment, and then he stood and moved to the man that was drowning in his emotion in the doorway. Smoke pulled him into a fierce hug and whispered something in his ear that I couldn’t hear. His words caused Shep to tremble and then cry as he just kept repeating over and over, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“This isn’t on you,” I finally heard Smoke tell him. “This is not on you. This is on the fuckers who thought it was okay to run my sister and her family off the road. We will get them. They will die for this. All I need you to do is make sure your mom and sister are somewhere safe until we do. Send them away if you can. If you can’t let us know, and we’ll see if one of the other chapters can house them for awhile.”
Shep was shaking his head back and forth. “No, look what happened when I got your guys involved before. I can’t. I won’t let you take on anything else.”
“They killed my sister,” Smoke hissed. “This is out of your hands now. Take care of your family so they don’t end up dead too. We will get the bastards who did it.”
“Jesus, I can’t believe I did this.”
“You did not do this!” Smoke wasn’t taking no for an argument. No one in this damn room is responsible for this happening. You hear me? Any one of us would choose to help you out all over again if you called, even knowing what might happen. It’s the life we live, man. We don’t let family down, and you are my family too. So, let go of the guilt, and just worry about getting the women out of town.”
“What about your woman?” Shep finally asked when he noticed me watching them.
“We’ve got her, and all the rest handled. Everyone’s on lockdown for now. They’ll be plenty safe. Don’t worry about us. Worry about your family, and if we need to get them out of town we will. The Dakotas will take them for sure, probably Sierra High too, maybe they can even stay with the girls of S.H.E. down there?” Smoke asked as he glanced over his shoulder at Ghost.
“Already put in a call. Angel Girl said they’d take them in, no problem. They also volunteered some people if we need them.”
“See, we have this covered,” Smoke reassured Shep once more.
Shep stopped talking and just watched Brantley as he lie there asleep. “What’s going to happen with little man now?”
“He’s going to stay with me,” Smoke confirmed.
“Does he know?”
“Not yet.” Smoke moved away from his friend and came to join me back over by the bedside. “Gonna have to tell him when he wakes up again. Not sure how the hell to do that though.” Smoke ran his hands across his tired face. “How the hell is a someone so small supposed to comprehend that his family is gone?”
“He’ll get through, because not all of his family is gone,” I told him. “He has you, Kent, and the club at his back. He won’t want for anything.”
“Except his parents,” Smoke muttered.
“There’s no helping that part, but we’ll get him through it.”
Chapter 14
Three days later we were preparing for the graveside service for Smoke’s sister and club brother. The entire club was there along with members from several other chapters who came to pay their respects and say their farewells to Bender and his old lady, Sophie. When Sweet and Angel Girl showed up I was happy to see they did not have Walker with them. Before the service Angel Girl approached me though.
“Can I have a word?” Angel Girl asked as I was trying to get Brantley’s shoe tied. Leanne came over to help.
“Go ahead, I’ve got him for a minute.”
“No, Popwee, don’t weave me,” Brant whined, and it broke my heart in two, because I knew he was feeling left behind by his parents even though he didn’t understand that they didn’t want to go without him.
; “I’ll be right over there, and you’ll still be able to see me, okay, buddy?”
He nodded and Angel Girl trailed me to where I told Brant I would be standing.
“What can I do for you?”
Angel Girl released a humorless chuckle. “No, sweetheart, I think the question is what can I do for you? It’s been brought to my attention that I didn’t do enough, we didn’t do enough, when you were going through your shit back down in Georgia, and for that I apologize.”
“It wasn’t your problem,” I stated simply.
She shook her head. “That’s where you’re wrong. If it wasn’t for others stepping in and making sure I was okay when I first got back together with Sweet and we had our rough patch, we might not have made it together at all. If I’d stepped in,” she started to say.
“Stop. I didn’t need anyone to step in. My marriage didn’t need to be saved. I’m much happier now, despite the sad circumstances we’re in right now.”
She smiled at me then. “I get that, but you probably could have used a shoulder to cry on at the very least.” She shook her head, and then pulled me into a hug. “You also probably could have used a round or five hundred in our boxing ring beating the shit out of someone and wishing it was Walk. Lord knows if it had been Sweet and I’d heard the rumors of what he was doing while we were separated that’s where I would have been.”
“Actually, that probably would have been pretty useful,” I agreed.
“So, I dropped the ball. The women who should be taking care of the old ladies down there have a lot on our plates with our own club, but that’s no excuse for us forgetting you. If there’s anything I can do to make things up to you, just let me know.”
“I think you’re already doing it. Smoke said you took in Shep’s family for the time being until they can straighten this mess out.”
“We did, and we’re using our resources to make sure we track down the people who need to pay as well, but that’s club business and you don’t know anything about that.” She winked at me then before walking away when Sweet called out to her from across the room. I moved back over to Brandt and Leanne stood and gave me a hug.
“How are you feeling, sweetie?”
I swished my hand back and forth in front of me indicating I was iffy about everything. “I’ve still been getting sick, but I’ve learned to control it a bit with eating the crackers throughout the day.”
“Good, and have you mentioned anything to Smoke yet?”
I shook my head. “There hasn’t been a good time. He’s been away most of the last three days making arrangements and you know dealing with club business. I’ve barely seen him.”
“What about Kent? I thought he’d be handling the arrangements since Smoke was working on the club side of things.”
“Kent and Smoke have been arguing over everything. Kent didn’t want the club involved, because he blames them for his sister’s death. He even offered to spirit me away from here so that I would be safe. It’s really sad watching them interact, Leanne. I’m worried for them, because they were so close, and now there’s this rift.”
“I know it’s tough now, but they’ll come around. Kent will come around when he realizes what everything was about, and why this all happened.”
“He knows already. He won’t even look at Shep, let alone talk to him.”
“Kent needs time, sweetie. That’s all. I promise, with some time he’ll change how he feels about the lot of it. He doesn’t strike me as the type of man who would turn a blind eye to a person in need, especially when he’s offering to spirit you away from here so that you don’t suffer the same fate his sister did. Someone just needs to point out the fact that doing what he wants to do is exactly what Smoke did for Shep’s family. It’ll click eventually.”
“Popwee?” Brant called out to me and I looked down, bending at the knees so I’d be at his level.
“What’s up, little man?”
“I have to piss!” He exclaimed it loudly even though I was on eye level with him, and I couldn’t help my reaction. I burst out laughing, as did a few of the people around us.
“Okay, baby, let’s take you to the bathroom then.”
“Mens piss outswide. That’s what my daddy telled me.”
“You know what?” I asked and he shook his head no, letting the little brown wispy hairs float back and forth across his forehead as he did.
“No, what?”
“I think you’re right. Big boys and men should piss outside on days like today.” That put a smile on his face, and he put his hand in mine so I could walk him out back to go piss outside like his dad used to do. I couldn’t help giggling thinking about how he was probably remembering an overheard conversation between his parents about how men pissed outside. I would do anything to keep those memories alive for him as long as I could. Too soon, they would be forgotten and only a remembered story he heard other people tell. I knew this, because I was an adult when my family died. There were plenty of memories I kept, but I couldn’t imagine Brant would have that same luxury as he grew older.
When we got to the door he turned to me and crooked a finger so I would bend back down closer to him. “Popwee, you not s’posed-ta see me weiner.” I sucked my lips into my mouth and bit down to keep from laughing as I nodded to him. A hand on my shoulder made me glance up and see that my brother was standing there.
“I’ve got him. This is man’s business,” he stated much to Brant’s delight as he took the little boy’s hand and walked him out back.
“You’re doing a good job with him,” Wren said to me as I stood again and swiped at a rogue tear that fell there.
“Thanks,” I whispered before Wren pulled me into a hug.
“No need to thank me. You need to hear it. We all appreciate the way you stepped in and have helped out. Can’t tell you what a relief it’s been on Smoke that he can seek revenge for his sister and our brother without having to worry about his nephew. He’ll be there for him when all is said and done, I promise. He just doesn’t need anything else added to his plate until then.” If that wasn’t a reminder that I had things to tell Smoke that I simply couldn’t tell him right now I didn’t know what was. I couldn’t add to his burden no matter how sad it made me that I couldn’t share my news with anyone else either. I loved Leanne to death, but I wanted to be able to talk to my brother about the baby. Most importantly, I wanted to be able to talk to Smoke about it so that I could stop worrying about how he’d react. Wren’s reminder that he had too much going on just made it harder to do any of that.
~*~
I hadn’t seen Smoke at all that morning. I wondered if he’d even bother showing up to his sister’s graveside service by the time we all got there. Luckily, I had plenty of people around me to help distract Brant ever time he asked where his Unc Moke was. I was beginning to wonder if Smoke had forgotten that his priorities lie with the living and not with avenging the dead. I hated feeling that way too, because I knew he was also doing what he was doing to make sure we were all safe, and yet it made me wonder if I was going to be left behind yet again. Tears started forming in my eyes as I thought about that and while The Reverend Thompson spoke of life being cut short far too soon.
Brant started getting fidgety and antsy, not understanding why everyone had to stand still so long. I took him by the hand and pulled him off to the side, deciding that walking him around was to burn off some energy was something I could do. As I rounded the last of the mourners there to pay their respects I caught a glimpse of Smoke off in the distance. He was standing quite far away and was wrapped in the arms of a tall, blond woman who was wearing a thigh bearing tight black mini-dress and heels so high I had no clue how she hadn’t twisted an ankle on all this soft ground. I watched as Smoke attempted to dislodge her a few times while the woman just clung even harder to him each time.
“Why Jew-wee attacks Unc Moke?” Brant asked, apparently having seen the same thing. Funny how a three year old ended up answering the question of who
the woman was for me. Apparently that was Julie. The ex-girlfriend. The one who was clinging to Smoke like she was the one who had just lost her sister and she couldn’t live a minute more without his arms wrapped around her.
“Don’t know, kiddo,” I answered honestly. I would also like to know why Julie was attacking Uncle Smoke. Better yet, I’d like to know why Smoke hadn’t been with us during the service when he was clearly here and had plenty of time for Julie. I was about to turn away and head back toward the crowd of people who were tossing flowers onto the caskets now when Brantley made certain that didn’t happen.
“Unc Moke!” He yelled, not only calling everyone’s attention to the fact that Smoke was there with another woman, but that I’d witnessed it, and he hadn’t been with me. With us. Smoke’s headshot around and he managed to dislodge Julie long enough this time to turn and head in our direction. He did not look pleased either. I wasn’t waiting for him to get to us. I grabbed Brant up and settled him on my hip so that I could easily carry him back to where we were supposed to be. Before I could get very far my brother was by my side glaring back over my shoulder where Smoke had been standing in Julie’s embrace.
I knew that my past would have an affect on how I perceived things. I knew that it would color questionable interactions with a haze of red anger and betrayal like I’d felt when I found out about Walker and what he had been doing behind my back. I didn’t know if I should be feeling it in this situation, but I couldn’t help wondering if that was truly where Smoke had been spending his time. With her. With his ex, because maybe it was too painful to be around me since I had Brantley with me all the time. The fact of the matter was I didn’t know, because I wasn’t in the loop, and it all felt a little similar to me. He hadn’t even really said more than five words to me each day since Brant left the hospital. “How’s Brant doing?” Was pretty much of the extent of our conversations, because even though I answered I don’t think he actually heard the words I spoke before he was gone again.
Redemption Weather Page 18