by Natavia
“See what happens when you don’t try too hard?” he asked. He gave me a hard smack on my backside.
“I might take advantage of you if you do that again.”
“You can do whatever you want to me, shorty,” he said with a smirk on his face. J-Breezy sat on a rock to roll up a blunt. I joined him so that I could check my phone. Dream was ignoring me. I tried calling and texting her, but she wasn’t responding. Trell was avoiding me, too.
“What’s up wit’ you? You look stressed,” he said.
“I am in a way. Everything is falling apart. We all used to be very close, you know, like a family. I’m the only one who cares about it.”
“You can’t change grown-ass people minds,” he replied.
“I know but we lived better when everyone was in the house. Tryst used to be all about family, but he gave up.”
“That’s a part of life, baby girl. You gotta focus on yourself right now,” he said. J-Breezy passed me his blunt and I took a few drags while thinking about what he said. Everyone else was moving on but here I was trying to mend things back together.
“They’ll come around once they sort out their issues,” I said.
“Exactly,” he replied.
I passed him back his blunt. After he took it, I laid back on the rock, staring at the sky. J-Breezy was like the male friend every woman should have. We discussed everything including Sebastian.
“How many girlfriends do you have?”
“I never been in a real relationship and you know that. But I am smashin’ a few broads. That can change whenever you’re ready,” he said.
“How are you certain you can do that?”
“I’ve been feelin’ you for three years. The moment Trell introduced us,” he said.
“What are you attracted to about me?”
“Your attitude is demandin’ without havin’ to be loud. You don’t show a lot of your body even though you have the shape for it. You’re different than these girls from around here. Plus, you aren’t money hungry,” he said.
I used to be that way. Matter of fact, I used to be a young whore looking for attention. You wouldn’t like me if you knew all the things I did with June Bug.
“I’ve haven’t heard that one before.”
“That’s cause you fuck wit’ lames,” J-Breezy said. I playfully pushed him, and he almost slid off the rock. My phone rang, and it was my ex-boyfriend calling me. I declined the call.
“You ready to dip?” J-Breezy asked.
“Yes, let’s get something to eat then go check up on Trell. We gotta make sure he’s eating.”
“No doubt,” he said. He helped me off the rock before we walked towards the car. I was looking forward to more target practice dates.
***********
We stopped at McDonalds to get breakfast. I was in the passenger side of J-Breezy’s 1972 drop-top black Cutlass Supreme with chrome rims and red leather seats.
“What you think Trell want to eat?” he asked.
“Get him the steak and bagel sandwich.”
J-Breezy ordered the food as my phone went off. Sebastian was calling nonstop. I looked around at the cars in the parking lot to make sure he wasn’t following us, but then again, he was smart enough to use a different car to disguise himself. J-Breezy pulled a fat stack of money out of his pocket to pay for our food. What he did for a living was a mystery. He told me he wasn’t a dope boy, but I couldn’t think of another way he could be getting a lot of money.
“Can I eat in here?” I asked while he was pulling out the drive-thru.
“Yeah, but put a napkin across your lap,” he replied.
“Seriously?”
“Dead ass. You want me to feed you?” he asked.
“Would you really?”
“If you sit on my lap,” he said.
“You don’t want me to sit on your lap, trust me.”
“I can handle it,” he replied.
“Ummm hmmm.”
“Yeah aight,” he said.
He took a sip from his straw and I couldn’t help but notice his sexy lips. I wanted to suck on them.
“What’s your real name?” I asked.
“Jasiri,” he said.
“Awww that’s cute.”
We were in Trell’s neighborhood by the time our conversation ended.
“I’m tellin’ you now he isn’t goin’ to be happy about this,” J-Breezy said. We got out of the car with the food. Loud music was playing in the building when we entered onto the first floor.
“It’s coming from Trell’s crib,” I said.
J-Breezy rang the bell three times, hoping it could be heard over the music. I called Trell but his phone was off.
“Maybe we should leave.”
“Fuck no. I burned gas comin’ over here,” J-Breezy said.
Twenty minutes after calling, ringing and knocking, the door opened. A cloud of smoke spilled into the hallway.
“What do y’all want?” Kabella asked. I was surprised to see her at Trell’s home half naked. I pushed past her, barging into Trell’s condo.
“GET UP!” I yelled at him. Trell was sitting on the couch nodding off with a big smile plastered across his face.
“Chillllll, bruh. Who told you to come in?” he replied, getting up. Trell was only wearing boxers with one sock. I stepped on a dime bag filled with white powder on my way to the couch. Kabella had her hands on her hips while grilling me. The bitch was acting like she lived there.
“Can you get the hell out?” she asked me.
“Bitch, don’t fuck with me. I’ll kill you in here!”
Trell bumped into the coffee table and tripped. J-Breezy went to help him up. Seeing Trell that high crushed my spirit; he was supposed to be stronger than that.
“Get up, baby. You aight,” Kabella laughed. Trell was talking out of his head while J-Breezy helped him onto the couch.
“Yooo we gotta take him to your crib. Look at his lips,” J-Breezy said. Trell’s lips were dry, cracking, and peeling, possibly from being dehydrated. He also lost a few pounds. Trell was a clean freak at one point but now he was no longer himself. His home was filthy with Chinese food boxes across the floor in the living room. The condo also had an odor, like the smell of sweaty underarms, stale food and rotten pussy.
“Do you think Naya would have wanted you to get high? And you’re still messing with that hoe-ass bitch! Isn’t that how you lost Naya? Over this skank?” I asked Trell.
“Girlllll, Naya is higher than us both since she’s in the clouds now,” Kabella cracked up. J-Breezy snatched me back when I charged towards her.
“I’m going to fuck you up!” I yelled at her.
“Girlllll, go home!” Kabella said with a smile. She thought it was hilarious to see Trell that way.
“I’m calling our brother. I cannot deal with this,” I told Trell.
“That nigga don’t care about me. Fuck him!” Trell replied.
“Yo, Kabella. You did this on purpose. You knew he was vulnerable and fucked up in the head,” J-Breezy said.
“He’s grown! He asked me to find him something that helped, and I did. Look, when are y’all leaving so we can finish?” she asked. J-Breezy and Kabella got into a heated argument. I stepped away to call Tryst; he answered on the first ring.
“What’s up? Make it quick because I’m busy,” he said.
“Tryst, you gotta come over to Trell’s house. He’s using cocaine with Kabella. He listens to you, so you have to talk to him.”
“Stop lyin’, Deerie. You just want me to talk to his bitch-ass. I’ll see you later,” he said and hung up.
“GET OUT, BRUH!” Trell said to J-Breezy.
“You lettin’ this smut turn you into a fiend? I should beat your ass!” J-Breezy said.
“Watch your mouth about my bitch! Nigga, get the fuck out!” Trell replied to J-Breezy. He went underneath the cushion on the couch. J-Breezy backed away when Trell pulled a gun out on him.
“Get the fuck outta my c
rib, fam. Y’all are killin’ my buzz,” Trell said to J-Breezy. J-Breezy grabbed my arm on his way out the door.
“Bye, Deerie!” Kabella called out.
“You are going to be a dead hoe very soon!” I yelled out.
Trell’s door slammed behind us. “That bitch got him where she wants him. I just wish he was smart enough to curve her. He’s gone until he gets his shit together,” J-Breezy said.
“We got to help him.”
“Did you not see him? That nigga doesn’t want any help! Let’s just roll out. Let Tryst deal with him. Matter of fact, I’m gonna hit Tierra up. She knows how to get to him,” he said.
I was at a loss for words. Trell needed us but he didn’t want our help. J-Breezy kissed the back of my hand after I got inside his car. I hated crying, but I had a few tears in my eyes. My brother was crying out for help and I couldn’t help him. I had a feeling he didn’t want it because that was his way of getting back at himself. How can you help someone who doesn’t want to live?
“He gotta work it out on his own but I can’t go around him until he gets his shit together. I don’t take too kindly to having a gun pointed at my head,” J-Breezy said. I told him to take me home. He drove out of the parking lot, with my hand still in his.
Twenty-three minutes later…
J-Breezy walked me to the door after we arrived at my house. He stood against the rail for a minute with his hands in his pockets. I was leaning against the door, wondering if we were going to hang out soon.
“Can I take you out on a real date this weekend?” he finally said. A Cadillac Escalade pulled up just when I was about to tell him “yes.”
“It’s about to be some shit, bruh,” J-Breezy said when Sebastian stepped out of the truck. I guess my threat didn’t faze him after all. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to think he was forgiven.
“We need to talk,” Sebastian said to me.
“We’re done!”
“We will never be done! Now can we please go inside to talk?” he asked. J-Breezy told me he was going to call me later. Sebastian mean-mugged J-Breezy when he walked past him.
“She ain’t calling you,” Sebastian said to him. J-Breezy replied with a head nod, not feeding into Sebastian’s arrogant attitude. Once he was in his car, he drove off.
“Did you fuck him?” Sebastian asked.
“And if I did?”
“You’ll be fucked. Now let’s talk,” he replied. Sebastian showed up at my house looking and smelling good. I hated how much I loved him. He always had this crazy hold on me that I couldn’t break away from.
“Why are you doing this to me? You keep cheating on me like it’s cool!”
“I know but I promise I’m done with it. I told Miranda it was over. Please just give me one more chance. If you have to put a gun to my head again, go ahead and do it. I’m not backing down this time,” he replied.
“I don’t want you!”
“Yes, you do. You will always want me. We can get married now and start a family. I’m going to get help, baby. I promise my therapist is going to fix me,” he said. He went into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. I almost fainted when I saw the rock in the box.
“Will you marry me? We can get married right away. If you got to get even, you can shoot me, just don’t kill me,” he said. He looked damn good on his knee. My head was spinning from taking everything in. With everyone living their own lives, maybe I needed my own. Trell was on drugs, Tryst was running a drug empire while trying to raise his estrange daughter, Kimberly was back with my so-called real father and Dream was having a baby. I didn’t fit in with any of their lives.
“My knee is hurting, Deerie. Yes or no? Just know if you say ‘no’ I’ll still try my hardest to win you back,” he said.
“I’ll marry you as long as we can have a private wedding.” Sebastian excitedly placed the ring on my finger. He got up and hugged me, lifting me off the ground.
“I love you so much, Deerie. I’ll get it right this time,” he said. J-Breezy crossed my mind. I had this strong connection with him, but I had history with Sebastian. Besides, relationships weren’t perfect. I knew in my heart that Sebastian asked me to marry him because I was the one he loved.
Tryst
Bentley was talking to a white man about the layout of the building inside my club. In the beginning I was looking forward to having something legit, but now all I could think about was my father. He had been on my mind lately because I’d been paranoid, thinking someone was out to get at me. The money was coming in fast and I was moving weight by myself. To be honest, that shit don’t matter anyway because you can still get merked having a team behind you. Dream crossed my mind, too. I was handling the situation wrong about the baby. We were fucking raw for a minute. My cellphone was in my hand as I stared at it. I wanted to hit her up to see if she needed anything because I knew she was broke. What angered me most was that if I did take care of her and the baby and it turned out not to be mine, I might snap. The shit was fucking my head up to the point where I couldn’t really eat nothing. Never thought I would be the type of nigga to stress over a broad, especially one who was for everybody.
“Deep in thought again I see,” Bentley said to me.
“I guess you can say that. I’ve been havin’ a lot on my mind lately. When you got into this, did you change? I’m not myself anymore.”
“Come sit,” he said.
Bentley wasn’t himself neither. He was usually straight forward, but now he was soft and weak. He had a bad cough and sometimes he couldn’t walk. I had a feeling he was sick but the type of man he is, he was going to take it to the grave with him. In a strange way, I deeply cared for the nigga. I helped Bentley onto a cardboard supply box to sit down. He pulled out a napkin to cover his mouth before he coughed.
“I’m getting old, son,” he said.
“You need to stay in bed until the cold goes away.” He chuckled a little while letting out a slight cough.
“I’m dying, son. I only have a few months to live if that. I’m leaving everything I have to you so that you can keep this legacy alive. I taught you well, so I know you can do it,” he replied. I sat across from him to take it all in. His sickness was the reason why he rushed everything. He had been preparing me to take his spot for months.
“You sound like you’re givin’ up.”
“Never that, son. My body is giving up and there’s nothing I can do about it. This lung cancer has been kicking my ass for years. It went away ten years ago but it came back stronger this time. This is my karma for not doing right by the women in my life. I killed the only woman I loved which is your grandmother. Since then my daughter has hated me. This is something I have to face, son,” he said. I was emotionless since I never met my grandmother and I barely knew Deidra. All I knew was that she and my father hadn’t spoken in years. I couldn’t hate him for none of that.
“Why did you kill her?”
“She was pregnant by my enemy name Butch. That muthafucka was knocking up a lot of women around the city. For your grandmother to stoop so low, I couldn’t live with it. She was going to leave me for him and take my daughter, so I shot and killed her. My enemy didn’t love her, he only used her to get to me and she fell for it. I still love that woman, but she turned on me. Kimberly is just like her mother,” he said. He took a sip out of his bottle of water to clear his throat.
“Your mother fell in love with Butch’s son, Connery. Your father’s half-brother from his mother’s side. I gave David a million dollars so he could marry your mother. I hated seeing my daughter with that son-of-a-bitch. David was like my son, he married Kimberly because he was loyal. I loved him more than I loved my own daughter. I’m going to apologize to her about everything I did when we meet for dinner,” he said. Bentley pulled out another napkin from his suit jacket to wipe his eyes. Never thought I’d see boss man Bentley have regular people feelings.
“You can use your money for a better doctor. Go across seas or something,
fly a doctor here. You can’t put all of this on me. I might not make it to see twenty-one.”
“I don’t want to fight this. I need to go through with this. All I ask is that you be better than me. Kill anyone who crosses you; you want people to fear you. Trust me, I have people watching you to make sure you live to see many years,” he replied.
I respected the O.G. so I took in every piece of information he gave me. I left Bentley alone, so he could have some time to himself. I walked around the building imagining myself posted up on the upper-level chilling while everyone was downstairs partying. Bentley taught me a valuable lesson a few moments ago which was loving a woman was lethal. It could change a man for the good or the bad. I finally had the answer to what was heavily on my mind which was letting Dream do her for good. She played herself and that was the end of story.
Two hours later, I walked Bentley to his ride. An entourage of vans and trucks pulled up to the building.
“Come over this weekend for dinner. Bring your family. Make sure you keep this on you at all times,” he said. Bentley gave me a gun and told me to tuck it behind my pants.
“No doubt. Take care of yourself, old man.”
I gave him a handshake before his driver pulled off. I didn’t get into my car until I saw Bentley’s truck get onto the main road. Instead of going straight home, I had to make another stop.
One hour later…
I knocked on Trell’s door to check up on him. When Deerie called me and told me that Trell was getting high, I couldn’t believe it. Instead of brushing it off, I wanted to see for myself. I know I was hard on Trell but that was because I wanted him to still feel like David was still here. He had a rough life thinking nobody loved him. I was hurt when he stole from me for a nigga that didn’t check up on him.
“OPEN THE DOOR!” I banged. His whip was in the parking lot, so I knew he was home. I stood outside knocking for forty minutes. Since it was an emergency I jogged to the rental office hoping they could check on him. When I walked in a white woman was behind the desk on the phone.
“Yo, can you hang up that phone for a second?” I asked her. She saw me standing there for a few minutes. She wasn’t talking about anything but throwing a party for her twins.