Neckbeard Vampire: Nightbeard Rising
Page 40
Mickey stared into the unblinking, plastic eyes, transfixed in wondering what the hell this thing was exactly. He couldn’t tell whether it was looking at him, Dex, both, or neither.
“Mr. Dex,” the giant blue bunny head wobbled back and forth as it spoke, “I’m surprised you wanted to meet—what since our last…how shall I call it…performance?” And he stifled a giggle that had bubbled up in his throat. “And it’s a pleasure to meet your friends.” The contempt in Jiggles’ voice actually conveyed that he might be experiencing many emotions at the meeting, but ‘pleasure’ was hardly one of them.
“You’re barely recognizable Mr. Dex, perhaps you need to hit the gym?” The wide, plastered grin of the fake head mocked him.
“Shut up, Jiggles.” Dex said flatly, he wasn’t dealing with the crap this time. “I’m not here to play your idiotic pervert games.” He said. “I’m here because of her.”
“That’s what brought you to me last time…funny how we seem to share so much in our lives.”
Dex responded with a single word. “Quillson.”
Silence. Then a voice shot from within the bunny head again, “You’re not worthy to utter that name, you filthy casual!”
“You want vengeance, don’t you?” Dex continued.
“Yes. That’s what we were hoping for at our last meeting.”
“It’s not me you want. It’s her.”
“We want both—but we’ll take what we can get.”
“Well I’ll cut a deal with you—I’ll deliver the one who ensnared your leader—I’ll even let you do the decapitating when it’s ready, and then—give me a 24 hour head-start and you can hunt me as long as you like. I’ll even let you know where I’m next headed.”
“We don’t need hints,” Jiggles replied dryly, “We prefer a bit of a chase when it comes to you, Mr. Dex.”
“Well you won’t be chasing her,” Dex said, “that’s my job.”
“When it comes to her, you may do as you like—provided we get the final blow.”
“Agreed.”
The conversation carried on in the same sordid manner for some minutes more. Mickey was transfixed on the hideous nature of these pariahs of nature—dabbling in a perverse fantasy world that exists somewhere between humanity and the animal kingdom. In a word: ‘disgusting’.
When the negotiation was over, the two men got up to walk towards their vehicle.
“How did it go?” Paxton asked eagerly.
“It went.” Dex replied without looking at him. “They’ve agreed to help us.”
They got in the car and pulled away. Mickey explained the details, “Their numbers are going to come in handy. They’ll have eyes on the city’s exits—which by land are just this bridge and the one on the north side.”
Dex interrupted, “That’s right, and considering the sheer numbers of her servants springing up everywhere—we’re going to need all the help we can get. At the very least, we’re going to require a serious diversion.
Back at the safe house, the guild awaited Dex’s arrival with impatience, curious as to the news of their alliance and what hope they had for destroying the final lair.
“We can expect her lair to be well guarded. The neckbeard slaves and the transforming nightbeards will be in vast numbers—possibly waiting for us in the general vicinity. However only a select one or two will know the actual location—secrecy is imperative to preserving the integrity of the friend zone structure.”
Here he unrolled a crudely drawn map onto the table. The suspected location of the final body pillow was marked with a red “x”, and the surrounding area was roughly drawn—outlining possible locations of ambush and strategic positions of assault.
“Patrols of furries will be here, here, and here.” Dex pointed to a few buildings drawn to cross their target. He turned to Johnathan.
“Johnathan, we want you with the team. You’re to keep radio communication with Randall who will be positioned on a rooftop here.” He pointed to their positions on the map.
“Johnathan will keep you informed of what’s going on with the team—if nightbeards start to creep in—you’ll signal the Furries and they’ll come to our aid. Got it?” Johnathan nodded in confirmation.
“Jaxxon5 is still not in fighting shape, but Fantasia is on the mend. She and the rest of the guild will join me—spreading out as we move in, and keeping guard at secured checkpoints.” His eyes met Chad’s. “Everyone—even females—are to take a dosage of the red pill before we go. We cannot risk the possibility of losing our members to the enemy. Am I clear?”
“Wait—you’re going?” Paxton asked.
“Yes.” Dex responded, avoiding Paxton’s gaze.
“But what about your…transformation?” He said.
“Dex should be able to fight by the time of the attack.” The doctor intervened. “Using the sample of boiled Furry Fluid, I’ve managed to extract and work with their DNA,” He said, then adding—mostly to himself—“…absolutely fascinating…” He stopped himself and addressed the group once more. “As I was saying,” he adjusted his glasses, “I’ve manipulated the DNA and intermingled it with a sample I’ve taken from Dex’s mark. I’ve been able to isolate the genomes responsible for Dex’s body’s rejection of the red pill since receiving the Mark. I’ve managed to reverse the effects slightly!” His voice betrayed his excitement, but most of the room was completely lost in the terminology. They just stared at him.
“So…” Fantasia said. “Dex can take the pill again?”
“Dex can take small dosages of the pill—beginning today!” The doctor exclaimed. “He won’t be in tip top shape yet—but with time, a couple weeks perhaps, he will regain his full strength and the Red Pill will completely nullify the side effects of the Brony Mark.”
“—although I will carry the scar for the rest of my life,” Dex added.
“Indeed.” The doctor said, polishing his glasses with a handkerchief.
“So I’ll lead the charge—and I’ll do all I can—but I’ll need your help—all of you.”
“But that’s great news!” Mickey exclaimed, standing up in the excitement. “We’ll take this friendzoning slut down for sure!”
“So when do we attack?” Randall asked.
“Tomorrow morning,” Dex answered. “She has only one resting place left—this means that, as she hides from the daylight in her body pillow form, we will find her as she sleeps--and kill her. The earth will be free from her torment. The nightbeards will turn back into their original selves, Kara will be righted and I’ll…”
“…and what?” Fantasia said.
“He’ll be cured.” Paxton answered.
“Cured? Of what?” Cruxx asked.
“Of her.” Dex said. “Although Doc’s remedy will return much of my strength, when she is gone—I will lose everything,”
The doctor interrupted, “At least we theorize!” He looked around at the members of the guild, “We don’t have any proof yet.”
“No we don’t, but we have strong evidence to support it. I received my unnatural strength and speed as a result of her bite and the red pill. My blood, for some unknown reason, carries in it a shared source of her strength.”
“Again: that’s just a theory.” The doctor said.
“Yes.” Dex agreed. “Now today we prepare: get in your last minutes of training, sharpen your daggers and repair your armor. We’ve got a fight tomorrow. We assemble two hours before sunrise in the morning—this time is now yours—and it may be your last. So use it wisely.”
As the meeting disbanded, Dex motioned to Paxton to speak to him privately.
“Paxton,” Dex began, “Your help has been invaluable during all of this.”
“It’s because of you, Dex.” Paxton said, “I feel like you’ve been a mentor to me—you taught me to swallow the Red Pill. You woke me up—not just from the Dash—err—The Dakimakura’s spell, but to so much more. I feel as though I know the way the world truly works.” He beamed with pride. “I f
eel like you’ve been more than a mentor to me—like you’re a brother.”
“That means a lot,” Dex said. “But I’ve got one final task for you, Paxton.”
“Anything.”
“I want you to go check on Kara. Make sure that the Dakimakura has paid her no more visits, then bring her back to the safe house. We may yet need her.”
“Consider it done. I’ll leave now.” And he grabbed his things to leave.
As Paxton disappeared up the steps to the house, Dex turned to the Doctor, “It’s done. He’s going.”