Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
Page 27
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Advance Praise
Epigraph
A Series of Unfortunate Disclaimers
Note from the Author
Furiously Happy. Dangerously Sad.
I’ve Found a Kindred Soul and He Has a Very Healthy Coat
My Phone Is More Fun to Hang Out with Than Me
I Have a Sleep Disorder and It’s Probably Going to Kill Me or Someone Else
How Many Carbs Are in a Foot?
Pretend You’re Good at It
George Washington’s Dildo
I’m Not Psychotic. I Just Need to Get in Front of You in Line.
Why Would I Want to Do More When I’m Already Doing So Well at Nothing?
What I Say to My Shrink vs. What I Mean
LOOK AT THIS GIRAFFE
The Fear
Skinterventions and Bangtox
It’s Like Your Pants Are Bragging at Me
Nice Bass
It’s Hard to Tell Which of Us Is Mentally Ill
I Left My Heart in San Francisco. (But Replace “San Francisco” with “Near the Lemur House” and Replace “Heart” with a Sad Question Mark.)
Stock Up on Snow Globes. The Zombie Apocalypse Is Coming.
Appendix: An Interview with the Author
I’m Turning into a Zombie One Organ at a Time
Cats Are Selfish Yawners and They’re Totally Getting Away with It
Koalas Are Full of Chlamydia
Voodoo Vagina
The World Needs to Go on a Diet. Literally.
Crazy Like a Reverse Fox
An Essay on Parsley, Wasabi, Cream Cheese, and Soup
And Then I Got Three Dead Cats in the Mail
Things I May Have Accidentally Said During Uncomfortable Silences
My Skeleton Is Potaterrific
It’s Called “Catouflage”
We’re Better Than Galileo. Because He’s Dead.
Things My Father Taught Me
I’m Going to Die. Eventually.
And This Is Why I Prefer to Cut My Own Hair
It’s All in How You Look at It (The Book of Nelda)
Well at Least Your Nipples Are Covered
Death by Swans Is Not as Glamorous as You’d Expect
The Big Quiz
Cat Lamination
That Baby Was Delicious
These Cookies Know Nothing of My Work
It Might Be Easier. But It Wouldn’t Be Better.
Epilogue: Deep in the Trenches
Notes
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Jenny Lawson
Copyright
FURIOUSLY HAPPY. Copyright © 2015 by Jenny Lawson. All rights reserved. For information, address Flatiron Books, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.flatironbooks.com
Cover design by Philip Pascuzzo
Cover photography by Maile Wilson
Cover confetti © Silviya Skachkova/Shutterstock
All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise indicated.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Lawson, Jenny, 1979–
Furiously happy: a funny book about horrible things / Jenny Lawson.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-250-07700-4 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-07701-1 (e-book)
1. Lawson, Jenny, 1979– 2. Journalists—United States—Biography. 3. Humorists, American—21st century—Biography. 4. Mental illness—Humor. I. Title.
PN4874.L285A3 2015
070.92—dc23
2015022196
e-ISBN 9781250077011
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
First Edition: September 2015