Color Me Grey

by Michelle Janine Robinson

  “There are places, but we need a car to get to those places and the only way we can get a car is to borrow one. I don’t know anyone that’s going to lend us a car, without asking a shit load of questions.”

  The thought of burying Chantal isn’t what shook her resolve. People died in the streets every day and if you lived by the streets, you knew there was at least a 50/50 chance that might happen to you; and Chantal was no different. What concerned Jade was having to deal with the police. She hated the police and tried her best to avoid them at all costs. If she and Bridget dumped Chantal in some alleyway somewhere, that might eventually lead to her; since she was Chantal’s daughter and was staying with her. Most of the folks in the ’hood didn’t know all that much about her, Bridget and her mom, but they probably did know that Chantal was her mom and where they all lived. Jade then thought of the person who could help them out, Big Rob. She had turned his ass out last night and, although she had been considering leaving him alone, it occurred to her that Big Rob might be the man to keep around; especially given the fact that she was ready to move on to Phase II of her “Plan.”

  “You know, Bridget, you might be right. I’d like to find someplace dignified to bury my mother. She would’ve liked that. I think I know who can help us.”

  “Who?” Bridget asked.

  “This brother I know named Big Rob. He’s got a car and I’m pretty sure he’ll let me borrow it, if I ask nicely.”

  What Jade really meant was if she fucked him nicely, but she had no intention of telling Bridget her business.

  “Sit tight,” Jade told Bridget. “I’m going to call him now.”

  They didn’t have a phone in the house, so Jade went downstairs to use the pay phone. She called Big Rob and, sure enough, he couldn’t wait to see her again. And, despite a minimal degree of protest, he consented to letting her use the car for a couple of hours.

  Jade went back to the house and pulled out a large print suitcase her mother had had since she was a little girl. She could remember her and her mother using it to go down south once when she was very little. She was sure the suitcase would be large enough to fit her mother’s body into and she was right. Jade locked the suitcase with the key her mom kept in her empty jewelry box.

  “Bridget, I’m going to get the car from Big Rob. Wait here until I come back.”

  Bridget hated being alone with Chantal’s dead body, but she did what Jade said.

  Jade rode the subway downtown to pick up the car from Big Rob’s place. He must have thought she was stupid or something. He practically spent 24/7 on Hunts Point, but now he wanted her to ride the damn subway all the way into Manhattan to pick up the car. He wanted some more pussy and if he played his cards right, he might actually get some. She had to admit, homeboy was workin’ with somethin’ there and she hadn’t had her shit done up that good since—since ever! But first, she was going to square away business. Business always came first. She would get the car keys from him and then play it by ear from there.

  When she got to the address, she was surprised to see that the building he lived in wasn’t half bad. It was a high-rise on Ninety-sixth and Columbus—one of them Mitchell Lama Houses, with a doorman that had to ring you up and everything. You wouldn’t have known it to look at Big Rob, that he was living like this. Jade’s guess was that he had to thug it up while he was doing business in the hood. When she got upstairs, and looked for apartment 12RW, the apartment door was open. When she walked in, she couldn’t believe her eyes. She realized the exterior of the building didn’t do the interior of the apartment justice. He had his place hooked up. The living room had red leather furniture that was butter soft when Jade sat on it. The carpet was beige and was so thick and plush it felt as though she were walking on air. There was a huge projection TV. in the living room that had to be sixty inches. It was tuned to BET and Salt-N-Pepa’s video “Whatta Man.” In the corner of one of the rooms, there was a beautiful red Sharper Image massage chair, which she hoped she would have an opportunity to enjoy. The bedroom was toward the back of the apartment and was decorated with varying shades of purple. There was a huge, king-sized, wrought-iron bed in the middle of the room and a purple flokati rug on the parquet floors. Jade had never seen a bed that big in her entire life, much less slept in one. Big Rob was in the kitchen making a sandwich and pouring some Kool-Aid into a large glass. He looked through the opening of the breakfast nook.

  “You want me to hook you up?” he asked.

  “Naw, I’m alright,” Jade answered. “So, how long you been livin’ here?”

  “Oh, about five years; it was my mom’s. I moved in after she passed away. I was livin’ with my girl over by Parkchester, but the girl lost her muthafuckin’ mind. She started fuckin’ wit’ my product and shit. I had to cut her loose.”

  “So, who you livin’ wit’ now?” Jade asked.

  “Me, myself and I. I like it that way. No drama.”

  “I can relate,” Jade agreed. “I been livin’ with my mom and my homegirl Bridget for the past five months, but my mom is moving down South and it’s just me and Bridget now,” she lied.

  “So is that why you need the car? To help your mom?”

  “Yeah.”

  “The keys are right over there and the car is in the garage, Level 5, Area E,” he said, motioning to the rectangular glass coffee table in the living room. “You remember what it looks like, right? Not that I’m rushing you or anything like that.”

  He left the kitchen and came into the living room and stood directly behind Jade, cupping her breasts with his huge hands. Her nipples responded immediately. Big Rob was not one to miss a thing. He recognized the effect he was having on her and decided to capitalize on it.

  He whispered in her ear, “Did you know that before I met you, you usta’ make a nigga’s dick hard just passing by me on the street? I been jonesin’ for this pussy for a long time, Freckles. Why you gonna go and make a nigga wait for this sweet, sweet punani? And how the fuck you keep that pussy of yours so damn tight, doin’ what you do? Girl, you got a muthafuckin’ gold mine between them legs.”

  Jade was never ashamed of what she did but, for some reason, now she didn’t like what Big Rob was saying. She wiggled out of his grasp.

  Big Rob realized he may have fucked shit up with his big-ass mouth and tried to explain himself.

  “Come on, Freckles, don’t get the wrong idea. I ain’t tryin’ to judge you or nothin’ like that. You and me, we alike. We know these streets and we know what we gotta do to git paid. You do yours your way and I do mine my way. If I was a female and was workin’ wit’ what you got, I’d be capitalizing off it myself. So, whatever you do, don’t get me wrong; I definitely ain’t one to judge. But let me ask you somethin’. You ever thought about steppin’ up your game? ’Cause I gotta tell you, Freckles, you sellin’ yourself short on Hunts Point. You can do better than that.”

  Jade relaxed. He was speaking her language and Jade started thinking about a world of possibilities. There was clearly something going on between her and Big Rob. He had lots of connections; connections that might net her bigger rewards.

  “You and I need to talk,” Jade said. “I got plans, big plans that could mean us both a big payday. You down?”

  “Depends on what you got in mind? Holla’ at me.”

  “I got something I need to take care of tonight with the car, but I can bring it back late tonight, if that’s okay. How ’bout we talk when I bring the car back?”

  “It’s noon now. Meet me back here about midnight and we’ll talk,” he said.

  The entire ride back to the crib, Jade was planning and scheming her next move. One thing she knew for sure was that she had to keep fuckin’ Bridget away from Big Rob. She wasn’t in-love or nothin’ like that, but she was definitely feelin’ him and him her. But the thing about niggas was a hard dick had no muthafuckin’ conscience and, for some reason that she couldn’t quite figure out, Bridget had a strange effect on men. She doubted Bridget was Big
Rob’s type, but you could never tell about these things. If someone had told her two weeks ago she and Big Rob would be kickin’ it, or even thinkin’ about kickin’ it, she would have told them that they were crazy. She used to see him in the neighbor hood and she respected his game, but she never thought of him in a sexual way. To tell the truth, she hardly ever thought of any man in a sexual way, unless it had to do with makin’ some money. Somehow, though, Big Rob was different. He was like the male version of her.

  By the time Jade got back to the apartment, Bridget was pacing the floor like a caged animal; and she was pissed. Nothing ever seemed to bother Bridget. She always rolled with it, no matter what. But, now was different. She lit into Jade as soon as she got into the door.

  “Dammit, Jade! Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how long you’ve been gone?”

  Jade glanced at her Timex and realized she had been gone for about three hours. After leaving Big Rob’s place, she had driven around thinking for a while.

  It didn’t take Jade long to recover from the shock of Bridget standing up for herself and to put her in check.

  “I had shit to take care of! Did you have any better ideas? Whenever there’s a problem, I’m the one that comes up with the answers, and you have the nerve to be questioning how long I took to get the damn car! This brotha’ is doing us a favor. I couldn’t rush him. Besides, have a little fuckin’ compassion. This is my mother. I got shit on my mind; or hadn’t that occurred to you. Damn, Bridget, I didn’t know you could be so fuckin’ selfish!”

  “Oh, Jade, I’m so sorry. You’re right; I am being selfish. It’s just that this is hard on me, too. Chantal was the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had. But, you’re right. I forgot that this is your mother, not mine, and this has got to be so hard on you. You always seem so invincible, I guess I forget sometimes that you’re only human. I’m sorry, Jade. I know how much you loved your mom.”

  “It’s okay,” Jade said. “Let’s get this over with. I know a place not far from here; Bear Mountain. My mother and I used to go there when I was a little kid. It’s in Hudson Valley and it’s a perfect place to bury her. There are plenty of hiking trails. I think she would’ve liked that.”

  Jade actually put some real thought into where she would bury her mother. One of the few fond memories she still had of her mother was when she was a little girl and they would go to Bear Mountain for picnics.

  Jade and Bridget planned it so that they would get to Bear Mountain late in the evening. It was the middle of the week and Jade was sure it wouldn’t be as crowded as on the weekend, allowing them to bury Chantal without being noticed. At sometime around nine, they brought the suitcase with Chantal inside downstairs. It was heavy but, between the two of them, they were able to manage. They loaded the suitcase in the trunk of the car and left. By the time they got to Bear Mountain, it was dark enough to allow them to bury the body unseen. However, they still had to keep a close lookout. Jade had gotten two shovels from a Home Depot store and they were able to bury the body in no time. Bridget thought it only right that they say a few words and since Jade declined, that left it up to Bridget. Jade begged Bridget to make it short and sweet and she did.

  “You leave this earth with much less than you gave. As you stand ready to enter the Pearly Gates, may The Good Lord welcome His daughter back home with open arms. I loved you, Chantal. I only wish I had gotten a chance to tell you that before you left us. I feel far less afraid knowing I have you as a guardian angel to look over us.”

  Bridget picked up the shovel and walked back to the car crying, while back at the gravesite, Jade stood there staring at her mother’s final resting place.

  They drove back to the city and both girls decided they would take a night off. Bridget was so exhausted, she went home and got into bed. After she had fallen asleep, Jade left the house, got back in Big Rob’s car and drove back to his place. He was half-sleep when she got there. It was after one, but he didn’t seem to care.

  Jade took off her clothing and climbed into bed with Big Rob. The two of them lay there without speaking. He sensed that whatever it was that she had to take care of tonight was some deep shit, far deeper than just seeing her mother off to a trip down South, and wondered if he knew what the hell he was letting himself in for, dealing with her. But, there was something about her. He had never met a female this young that seemed this strong. It fascinated him and he wanted to find out more. Eventually, the two of them fell asleep. It was the first time in years that Jade had gone to sleep without thinking of twenty things at once.

  Big Rob was up bright and early. He had some runs to make and wondered if it would be okay to leave Jade in his crib. He had some expensive shit and, although it were easily replaceable, he wasn’t about to be treated like some sucker. He decided he would take a chance and left her a note on the pillow. He told her to make herself at home, fix something to eat and wait for him. He would be back in an hour.

  When Jade woke up, she was surprised that he had felt comfortable enough to leave her alone. She was glad he had. It was so nice to slowly wake up in the gigantic bed with all these beautiful things surrounding her. She thought of those women she stole pocketbooks from on the Upper East Side and wondered if this was how they lived. She decided it was even better. The difference between her and them was she didn’t have to have children to make it happen. One thing Jade decided a long time ago was that she would never bring a child into this world. What the fuck was the point? You live, you die, and it all turns to shit in the end. As far as she was concerned, it wasn’t worth the pregnancy and labor and all the other fucked-up shit that followed.

  In the bedroom there was another TV, not as big as the one in the living room, but it looked to be at least forty inches. She grabbed the remote on the bedside table and turned it on. She felt like a queen. She lay there watching the news and, for the first time in a long time, she was absolutely famished.

  Jade seldom took the time to eat a balanced meal. She went into the kitchen and found a fully stocked kitchen. She made scrambled eggs and bacon and poured herself a heaping glass of orange juice. Remnants of her mother’s existence, Jade hated most stimulants and never drank coffee or ingested anything else with caffeine. She took her breakfast back to the bedroom and ate. After she was done, she felt sleepy again and put the plate on the bedside table and went back to sleep. She awoke to find Big Rob in the bed with her, under the covers, his hard dick poking at her thigh.

  “You see what you do to me, girl? You know I don’t be bringin’ just anybody up in my crib.”

  “So, I’m special, huh,” Jade said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, I think you are pretty damn special. ’Cause I don’t go around noticing people who ain’t special; but if you’re asking if you’re special to me, no, not yet. For now, we’re just kickin’ it, but I think you could get to be special to me. But, that depends on you and what you want.”

  “I want it all, baby. That’s what I’ve always wanted and I don’t need nobody to get it for me. I can do that all by myself,” Jade said.

  “Freckles, that’s where you’re wrong. I been out on them streets for a long time, and if there’s one thing I’ve figured out is everybody needs somebody. Anybody who thinks otherwise is foolin’ themselves.”

  Jade thought it best to change the subject.

  “Right now, I need you to fuck me,” Jade said.

  Big Rob was more than happy to oblige. He rolled over on top of Jade and Jade’s pussy lips spread open for him. She was wet and waiting. The two of them hesitated. Jade never fucked anybody without a condom and Big Rob was fully aware of what Jade did for a living. However, passion ruled out and the two of them threw caution to the wind. Big Rob plunged his rigid bone deep into Jade’s quivering cavity and fucked her while Jade screamed for mercy. Big Rob knew the psychology of a prostitute; he had known enough of them. He felt like the King of the Muthafuckin’ Hill, being good enough to give it to her good enough to make her scream lik
e that. When he thought she might collapse from exhaustion, he turned her over on her stomach and fucked her doggy style. He grabbed her curly red hair and drove his cock into her pussy from behind as Jade’s knuckles turned white gripping the bed. He punctuated each thrust with a bite to her shoulder or her neck. Jade had never been fucked like this. She had always been the one in control. Suddenly, she felt like she had a porcelain pussy. As she backed her ass up into his cock to get even more, Big Rob blasted her pussy with a load of hot cum that ignited Jade even more than she already was. Homegirl was hooked.

  In her mind though, she cautioned herself not to get sidetracked. Jade knew that when all was said and done, it was all about cash money. But now, she thought maybe she could get her plan movin’ much quicker than she had originally anticipated. She was rollin’ with the “Master of the Game,” and together, the two of them could be unbeatable. But where, in the scheme of things, did Bridget fit in? She still believed she needed Bridget to make the game work, but in order to bring Big Rob on, she would have to keep the two of them away from one another, but how? While she decided the best way to do this, she thought it best to let Big Rob know the reason she had originally come here. She had already tried out her game with one “big fish” she’d encountered while cruisin’ Hunts Point, but she soon discovered a glitch in her plan. She had gotten the john talking, hoping he would mention a wife and family. Then she had gotten his address from his driver’s license in his wallet. She fucked him every which way and got a crackhead she knew to take pictures. She blackmailed the unsuspecting fool for cash money; five thousand dollars to be exact.

  He had been a frightened weasel, who had given her the money rather than have his wife and family find out about his indiscretions. But what could she use against a man with no wife and kids? Thanks to the time spent with Big Rob, she had figured it out. With his help, she could always ply these gullible muthafuckas with drugs; set them up and demand money for silence. If they didn’t give her what she wanted, she would threaten them with exposure to their employers, their clients, maybe even the law. Hell, some of these bastards were even judges and politicians. It wouldn’t do them any good to be connected to illicit drug use. In fact, it would probably hurt their careers a lot more than a little roll in the hay with a hooker.