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His Dark Embrace

Page 44

by Verika Sloane


  “Why? I was just as manipulative as Crawford was.”

  “Yeah, but it was a fucking vampire. Who cares?” He slapped her upper arm. “Proud of you. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure ‘Alpha’ Crawford gets what he deserves for blackmailing you and insulting my shiyas.”

  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  Amos winked, his eyes vacant of any humor. “You don’t need to know.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Life had returned to normal.

  Well, more like normal life in the pack worked around her while Kimber stood still, locked in longing for her mate. For Shain.

  It’d been over a month since she’d returned to Tavish. Felt like a year. Felt like everyone was far ahead of her while she lingered in the past, reliving every moment with Shain during the day, tortured by dreams of him at night. Some were good: He whispered words of deep devotion and made love to her. She’d wake up, her body aching, her heart hurting.

  Some dreams were bad.

  Running through that void in her bare feet, slipping on a floor of blood, unable to get up, flailing in it. Then she’d frighten herself awake, soaked in sweat instead.

  There was no escaping him.

  How long would it go on? Was there no end?

  She still had the Me Obliviscere Spell instructions hidden in a box, and had been tempted on her darkest days to see what it would do, knowing she’d never attempt it.

  Well, not never. She saved it in case Jackson tried to cause her problems. Amos never breathed the other alpha’s name, at least not when she was around. It was a mystery what retribution, if any, was delivered by Amos, and she didn’t care to ask.

  She half expected Jackson to message her swearing revenge for smearing his name, but she’d only done so to a few in her own pack, and maybe that was as far as it went. She was prepared to erase his memory of her if he ever threatened her again. The spell required something he touched, and she still had the paper with his account number on it in her possession.

  On good days, she did her best to keep occupied, back to bookkeeping, paying the bills, looking at houses and condos for sale. Amos granted her separation without hesitation. He didn’t ask details about how she could afford it. Maybe he assumed she’d taken out a loan like most folks.

  Hudson continued to ask her out, went out of his way to be present when she went to pack assemblies, and although she was friendly to him, he had to know by now she wasn’t interested. It didn’t stop him from leaving flowers on her doorstep or walking her home at night. Others told him his efforts were in vain, but he didn’t seem to heed the advice. Kimber looked forward to living off pack territory to completely stop his pursuit.

  Lucinda didn’t even glare in her direction, aloof but politer.

  At first, Darryl, Luke, Griff, and Benny gave her differential treatment that others noticed, but since they were leaders, no one dared to ask them why. They’d pass by, wink, fist bump, or buy her a beer. On shift runs, one or two of them would join Nya, and they’d hunt together.

  After a little while, the special attention wore off, and life was as it’d always been before Atlanta.

  Quiet, regimented, routine, safe.

  One didn’t have to be a shiya to appreciate that was a sum of a pretty good life.

  It just wasn’t one Kimber wanted to live.

  “Who was he?”

  Kimber blinked out of her midday reverie, glancing over to see her closest friend, Diana, standing on her porch wearing her favorite flannel dress, cinched at the waist by a belt, leggings, and ankle boots. Her brown curls were down instead of in her customary French braid. Obviously, she was going out tonight.

  Kimber hadn’t heard her footsteps. Nor had Nya alerted her. Her wolf was just as disconnected with reality as Kimber was. She sat up on the sofa. “Sorry. What?”

  “The guy. Who was he?” Diana came in and closed the door, pity all over her pretty face as she sat down at the bistro table by the window.

  It had been inevitable someone would demand what the hell was up with her mood. Avoiding pack suppers and skipping meetings was eventually going to annoy a few, regardless of her status with the alpha.

  “Well?” Diana pushed.

  Kimber avoided eye contact and went to her kitchenette to make coffee. “What are you talking about?”

  “Something’s going on. You’ve been different since you came back. You smell different, act different. Even talk different.”

  She flipped on the coffeemaker. Had she really changed that much? “I’ve always been different.” Her closest friend was bound to notice. And it wasn’t as if she’d been trying extra hard to hide her depression.

  “I know a broken heart when I see it, Kimber. You’ve changed. Someone changed you. Want to talk about him?”

  The less she spoke about Shain aloud, the easier it would be to get over him. Right? “There’s not much to say. It was a summer fling. We both knew it wasn’t going to go beyond that. In the end, we went our separate ways.”

  Talk about the shortest, most diluted, understated summary she could’ve made for the craziest three months of her life. No one, not even Diana, could know anything more, however.

  But her friend wasn’t satisfied. “If it was just a fling, then why are you walking around like you lost so much more?”

  Because I did. She’d been sure he was her mate, that she’d found the one, and it was hell to keep reminding herself she’d been wrong. It’d confirmed something inside her was indeed broken. Could she ever trust her instincts when it came to a relationship? Could she ever let another man near her heart?

  “Kimber.”

  Shit. She’d already forgotten Diana was there. “I’m fine. I’m just…reassessing.”

  “How so?”

  Once the coffee percolated, she joined Diana at the table, happy to talk about something else. “I’m moving into town.”

  “Really?” Diana appeared as if she was expecting a different answer.

  Kimber nodded. “I’m getting my own place. Amos approved it.”

  “You’re going independent?” Diana straightened as if the mystery had been solved. “Well, if it’ll make you happy, then I’m happy for you.”

  She gave a soft smile, appreciating the support. “Thanks. It’s time. I bought a duplex, am going to live on one side and rent out the other, once I finish touching it up.”

  “Wow. Congrats. This is huge! Why didn’t you tell me?” Diana looked wounded.

  “I didn’t want you to talk me out of it.”

  Her friend rested a hand on hers. “You’re right. I would’ve tried. I want you here. Especially with all these new shiyas coming in. Can’t believe eighteen of them committed. Too bad none of them had a true mate here, but I still feel like half of them will be claimed by the end of spring.”

  Kimber was pleased there were even more shifters for their pack. New faces. Fresh ideas. Potential mates for all those lonely shifters who’d stick around now that their community was growing again. “Let’s see how many get through their first winter.”

  “Ha! No kidding. It’ll be fun planning weddings again. Speaking of fun, a bunch of us are going to the harvest festival at the fairgrounds. Come with us. We’ll eat some fried food, ride some rides, play some games. My treat?”

  Because it was at the behest of a good friend and she could use some festive joy, Kimber accepted. “Sure. I’ll go.”

  “Great! I’ll see you at the main in an hour.”

  Last summer had changed her. Irrevocably. With any luck, going out would help break up her self-imposed melancholy. Kimber changed into jeans and knee-high boots, reaching for a warm jacket because of the low temp once the sun went down.

  The festival was buzzing with people, children screaming, running, and playing, carnies shouting about prizes to win, the smell of fried everything in the cold air.

  After listening to a local band, dancing with a farmer she frequently bought produce from, carving a pumpkin, and stuffing h
er face with Tom Thumb donuts, she broke off from the group to check out the vendor selling homemade soap.

  She’d just set down a jasmine gardenia bar when a voice behind her took her attention.

  “Um, excuse me, ma’am? Miss Kimber?”

  She turned around.

  A skinny, dark-haired boy, maybe about sixteen, stepped forward, cheeks red, shoulders hunched.

  “Yes?” she asked, not recognizing him.

  “I don’t mean to just, uh, well. See, this guy paid me, like, a lot of dough to give this to you.” He offered her a small, folded piece of paper. “So. Here, I guess.”

  Her heart stopped.

  No. That would be ludicrous. Shain had moved on, even before she’d left. She accepted the paper. Had to be some shief’s attempt at flirting. After all, it was fall, and single shiefs tended to be keen to snare a girlfriend for the holidays. “Who gave this to you?”

  The kid shrugged, backing up. “I don’t know. Just some guy.”

  Still, she couldn’t shirk the feeling. “What was he wearing? A suit? All black? Did he look—overdressed?”

  The teen huffed. “Nah. Nowhere near that.”

  Well, then. Not Shain. She sighed, then gave the kid a smile. “Thanks.”

  His blush deepened. “Sure.”

  The boy headed back through the crowd to his friends. A quick glance of her surroundings didn’t give her any clue.

  She pulled the ends apart to open it:

  I’m here.

  Her pulse raced as she turned the note over.

  Inside.

  Her breath left her lungs.

  Sound faded out as her heartbeat throbbed in her ears. She read the words again, barely able to take a steady breath. Whipping her head to the right, the left, she didn’t see him.

  Inside where exactly?

  Low, sinister laughter caught her attention, and she turned around. It was a recording coming out of a speaker from the top of the Devil’s Maniacal Maze, the evil-painted eyes glowing red every time he laughed, red smoke rising from beneath him.

  One more time, she cast her gaze around to see if any of her pack were around to witness her going in. She took a step, then stopped.

  Not so fast. Did she want to see him?

  After the weeks it took her just to stop crying herself to sleep, was it in her best interest to potentially reset her misery?

  As if to answer, adrenaline flared her blood. Her wolf’s way of saying, Don’t play yourself. You know you’re going in.

  The pitch-black entryway beckoned her. Swallowing, she stuffed the note in her pocket and walked up the metal stairs. The greasy-haired attendant looked her up and down.

  “Hey,” he greeted and unhooked the chain. “Go on in. He’s waiting.”

  Oh, so he was in on it, too.

  She went in and he hooked the chain behind her. A few kids approached, and she heard him say, “Closed. Come back later.”

  The strobe light bounced around her as she slowly made her way through the maze, red smoke wafting at her feet. The creepy music and repetitive, wicked masculine laugh followed her turn by turn. Every step increased her nervousness. She used her hands to feel her way, following the blacklight arrows that guided her.

  An energy snaked up her feet to her fingertips. He was close; she could feel him as sure as she could feel her wolf panting.

  Making a left, then a right, she came to an open space, encircled with tall and wide mirrors.

  The volume was lowered. “By the gods, I’ve missed you.”

  The breath seized in her lungs. She spun around, trying to find him. “Why are you here?”

  No response. For a moment she questioned if it was some sort of trick. Elated yet devastated, she sought the courage to hate him, be disgusted by him, and feel nothing.

  She failed spectacularly.

  “Answer me, Shain.” Exasperated with the silence, she said, “I’m not angry. If that’s why you’re here. Or did you come because we didn’t say goodbye face to face? Honestly, I thought you’d prefer that. Or are you here out of guilt? Did Amara tell you I was upset to see the two of you in bed together? I was, but I let it go. It’s been weeks. I’m okay.” Still no response. “What are you doing here?”

  “Because I’m not okay,” his voice echoed in the confined space.

  Oh, God. She hugged her middle, closing her eyes.

  “Listen to me, Kimber. You need to know the truth. Amara had followed me to the house. When I told her to leave, she poisoned me with an obsession toxin so I’d only think of her. Fortunately for me, it was a little too powerful to work as it was supposed to, because I fell unconscious. Apparently, while I was at her mercy, you appeared, and I can only imagine what she said to you.”

  Bitch. Not that she could entirely blame Amara for wanting to hold on to him any way she could.

  The urge to cry collided with her anger. “What does it matter now? You and I are over. I’m here. You’re there.” She spun around, throwing her arms out. “We’re not even in the same room! You’re a voice on an intercom. Why won’t you come out and talk to me to my face? Why do you always play these games?”

  “You know I have to. To even have you this close…”

  A clipped noise sounded like he’d turned the intercom off.

  Before she even saw him, his energy raised the small hairs on the back of her neck.

  Shain came out from behind a mirror. She was temporarily distracted by his appearance in dark jeans, a slim-fit flannel, and work boots. He really had gone more than out of his comfort zone to blend in. And was more beautiful than she remembered. Desire flooded her every cell. She ached to touch him, feel him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Since that night—every move I’ve made, every step I’ve taken, every word I’ve spoken, has been to bring me to you. You need to know that night wasn’t my design. Please believe me. I was waiting for you, not her. It was our house, our night.”

  “Yes, but our last night.” If only she’d stayed and really assessed the situation, asked more questions instead of running away in tears. They still would’ve had to say goodbye. “I believe you, Shain. I do. I should’ve known the whole scene didn’t make sense. It was just…she was a reminder of the life that waited for you once I was gone. The kind of woman you should be with. A woman of your own kind.”

  Shain flinched at her words. “Do you really think I could go back to all that, to her, to any woman, after you? After us?”

  She assumed yes, he could and would. Until now, there had been no signs he wouldn’t do that very thing. It was becoming a struggle to maintain her calm. His hypnotic energy twined into hers. The ache, so critical and poignant, pushed her to go to him. “I don’t know how to process this, Shain. Just when I was accepting I’d never see you again, here you are. Out of my dreams and before my eyes.”

  He gazed at her with longing for a few moments. “I’ve suffered more than you know, but I had obligations to manage before I could seek you out. I thought it’d be easy to find you, but it took time. And then I had to wait until you were away from your pack’s territory. I was willing to wait as long as it took. I couldn’t put in you danger by attempting to contact you by phone or letter.”

  Kimber moved back, understanding why he’d remained concealed. The draw was as strong as ever. “You waited in vain. Please leave. Go back to your life.” His scent drifted to her nose, and she inhaled, releasing a whimper.

  He appeared helpless as he said, “I can’t. The life I had before you? For a time, for two hundred empty years, it was everything. Now? It’s nothing. Not without you.” He took a step, desperation in his eyes. “What you don’t know was that, before you left Atlanta, I’d already chosen us, Kimber. I was going to tell you that night that I’d made a plan. I had to be certain it was feasible before I told you, but then I never got the chance. You were gone.”

  Wait. Had she heard that right? “What plan?”

  “A place for you and me. That no one would know about, in
a gated community with a guard. You’d be safe. Hidden from my world, but free from your own. So we could be together.”

  Was that hope that just burst like a geyser in her heart? Because he was offering her the scenario she’d dreamed of? Yes, it was bright, shiny hope, and she damned him for it. “We’ve had this conversation before. Remember? When I told you I’d stay, you said it was unthinkable. To risk everything to be together, only to get sick of each other after a year—”

  Shain sliced the air with his hand. “Forget what I said before. Being without you is the unthinkable. I can’t go back to how I used to be because of you. Gods, I don’t even want to.” He stared at her longingly, his teeth sharp. “Because I love you beyond words, Kimber, beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. I love who you are, what you are, how we are, how I am when I’m with you. That’s why I’m willing to risk it all. Are you?”

  Unable to help it, she drew closer to him, even while she fought to keep her wits. “Really, Shain? Your reputation, your money, your world? For…for…”

  “Love,” he breathed, the red smoke swirling around his legs as he closed the distance between them. “True love. The truest thing worth dying for, and the one thing to truly live for.”

  Kimber’s knees almost buckled. At last, he said the words she’d been longing to hear. But now that he said them, fear closed in, because it felt like the point of no return. A line, once crossed, they could never step back from.

  Which meant it was her turn to end this for good, to protect them both, like he’d tried to do so many times before when she wouldn’t listen.

  Her wolf snarled at what she was about to do, and it took considerable strength to hold her. Kimber’s stomach churned hot, twisting tight, sickening her.

  I have to do this, Nya. Stop fighting me.

  The moment he was in her space, she pushed him, her wolf’s growl of protest coming from her throat. “No. I’m with my pack now. Once I got here, I realized you were right all along. We can’t be together. It’ll be too hard.”

  Shain’s shocked face didn’t stop her. “Kimber—”

 

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