Scalding Hot Chocolate

by Jaliza A. Burwell

  “Whoa, calm down. Maddie, take deep breaths.” His hands ran up and down my arms to calm me. It worked. Darn it, his touch worked better than it should have. “Now, what is going on?”

  I met his eyes, mine begging him to give me the answers I needed. He was a teacher; he was required to have answers.

  “Lawyer. I need a lawyer. They want to take the twins away. And she knew. She had to have known when she called. And now I have to get a lawyer, and I have to face her on Friday through a stupid dinner. What am I supposed to do? If I see her, I’ll for sure need a lawyer because my fingers really, really want to scratch her eyes out. I’ll plead temporary insanity. My fingers have a mind of their own. Note that. Remember that. My fingers are their own person. They’ll ask you to be a witness when I go to court for making that woman blind. And I’ll still need a lawyer for that too.”

  “Whoa, okay. Calm down. I need you to slow down.”

  My mouth clicked shut as bile rose in my throat. This was happening. Telling Dayton what was going on only made it all too real. My stupid, evil stepmother really was going to take me to court.

  “I need you to start over, and I need you to keep it very simple.”

  I sniffed and blinked furiously. It was hard to work past all the emotions at that point, but I managed to say, “I need a lawyer because the twins’ grandparents wish to gain custody over them.”

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Dayton asked. He pulled out his wallet and handed me a card. “Here, take it.”

  I stared at it for a moment, trying to process what it was and why he was giving it to me.

  “A good friend of mine is a lawyer. He’ll be able to help you.”

  “He knows what to do?” I asked.

  “He’s a family law attorney. He knows exactly what to do.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I am.”

  “He’ll help me pulverize them?”

  Dayton gave me a crooked smile. “Definitely.”

  “Good.”

  I grabbed the card and looked down at the name and contact information.

  Koen Weiss. That was a good lawyer name. Better than William Taylor. And his office was out in Newton. He was nearby.

  “Give me a moment,” Dayton said and moved away, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. I watched as he put the phone to his ear and began talking. The conversation only lasted a minute tops before he hung up and came back over. He even grabbed my coat for me.

  “Koen can meet with you tomorrow. Go there after you drop the twins off.”

  “Thank you.” I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes, refusing to let another tear fall. No more. They weren’t allowed.

  He rested his hand on the top of my head as I pulled my coat close to me in hopes of hiding my emotions. “Of course. I don’t know the full story, but from my interactions with the twins and from the notes I have on them, they’re good and they’re doing better. You do that for them. They aren’t going to be taken from you.”

  I nodded and cleared my throat.

  “Ready, Sissy!” Lawson said, coming to my side and grabbing onto my hand.

  “About time, slow pokes.” I blinked back my emotions and pasted on a smile before looking down at them.

  “Lee couldn’t find his folder. He put it in the wrong cubby again.” Lawson rolled his eyes.

  “I thought it said my name,” Lee grumbled, not looking at me.

  “Levi is not your name. And besides, your cubby is right next to mine,” Lawson said. “You shouldn’t have mixed it up.”

  Feeling a fight about to break out between the two, I interrupted them. “Okay, enough. It happens. Let’s go get ice cream.”

  That seemed to settle it, and I sent Dayton a smile, tucking the card into the pocket of my coat. I pulled on my coat and walked behind the twins as they messed with each other, shoving and bickering.

  “If you don’t cut it out, we are going directly home, and once you finish your homework, the both of you are going to bed.”

  That shut them up.

  Cackling, I rubbed my hands together. Man, I loved the power I held over them.

  Chapter Four

  We had a dance party in the kitchen as I cooked. Lawson and Lee kept trying to out dance each other, pulling me in as the judge. When one of my favorite songs came on, I joined and we hopped around until we were breathless, chests aching from laughing too hard. I wiped tears from my eyes and tried to breathe.

  “You guys are silly,” I said and shook my head.

  “You’re the silly one,” Lee said.

  I snorted. No way was I silly. The oven beeped, and I pulled out the chicken nuggets, careful not to burn myself. Then I pulled out the broccoli and made their plates. We had Teen Titans dishes with separators in them. Lawson was in that annoying stage in life where he did not like his food touching. I got it. I was the same way at his age. Lee didn’t really care. Me? I just added everything to the same bowl now. It was all going to the same place anyway.

  Once I made their plates, we sat at the table and ate.

  “Make sure you eat all your broccoli,” I said.

  “Do we have to?” Lawson asked.

  “That’s not fair, you don’t even have any.” Lee frowned at my plate.

  “Who is the adult here?” I asked.

  “You are,” Lee grumbled.

  “Exactly. I’m the adult. That means I’m already all grown up. I don’t need vegetables. Now, you guys are only six and you still have years and years of growing. Those vegetables are going to help you with that. Do you want to grow bigger than me?”

  They both nodded.

  “Then eat your vegetables. Besides, with all the cake and ice cream you ate today, your stomach needs something normal to balance it out.”

  That seemed to work, and I bit back a smirk. No way was I going to eat broccoli. Broccoli had no place in the world. I used a chicken nugget to scoop up the mac ’n’ cheese and shoved the huge bite into my mouth as I watched the twins pick at their broccoli with similar expressions of disgust. I understood their pain, which made it all the more fun.

  “Ready?” I asked near the end of dinner. “Give me your highs and lows, lows first.”

  This was a tradition I’d created so they’d tell me about school. What was their least favorite part of their school day and what was their favorite.

  Lawson went first. “Low: there’s a meanie in my class. He pushed Asha today when we went outside. High: I was leader for the day.”

  “There’s a bully in your class?” I asked.

  Lawson shrugged. I raised an eyebrow. He stabbed at his food.

  “What did you do?” I asked, seeing the signs. Well, he broadcasted them. Lawson was a horrible liar.

  “I pushed him back.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. “Okay.”

  I’d read about this on mommy forums. I was supposed to say something smart, right? Something supportive and profound.

  “Did you make him cry?” I asked.

  “No.” Lawson’s voice was small. He was waiting for me to get angry at him. Was I angry? I remembered when I was his age. There was a boy who kept knocking things out of my hands and yanking on my hair. He teased me relentlessly until he moved. I’d have appreciated having someone protect me then.

  “Okay. Next time, tell the teacher.”

  He opened his mouth, and I shook my head. “I don’t care that you pushed him. You helped that little girl, right? Kept her safe? And you didn’t hurt him if he didn’t cry. So next time, keep her safe and tell the teacher.”

  Lawson’s shoulders relaxed and he grinned at me. “I can do that.”

  “Okay. Lee, you’re turn.”

  He thought it over. Lee always carefully thought over his highs and lows. “Low: Lunch was gross. High: I got a hundred on my spelling assignment.”

  I laughed. “What was gross about lunch?”

  “They don’t know how to make mashed potatoes. And their nuggets weren’t good.” He lifted
up one of his nuggets and took a bite. “Not like these,” he said over a mouthful.

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay. Fair enough. I hope you still ate.”

  “I did.”

  “What about you, Sissy?” Lawson asked.

  “Hmm, what about me?”

  “What is your low and your high?” Lee asked.

  “Aw, you don’t need to know.”

  “But we do. Mr. Killison said it’s important to listen to each other. You listen to us all the time. We want to listen to you.”

  If a heart could burst with so much pride, mine would have. I smiled at them, proud that they were growing up right. My traitorous eyes burned as I got a flicker of the kind of men these little dudes were going to become.

  We’re doing good, Mandy. Your sons are good boys.

  Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes, and I took a breath carefully, not wanting the two of them knowing I was about to have a mental breakdown. They didn’t need to know how sappy their aunt really was.

  “Um, okay. Low: my friend, Felix, won’t be hanging out with us anymore.”

  Lee’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his dish. I could see him working through something. I stilled, waiting to see how the two of them would respond to Felix’s disappearance.

  “Why isn’t Felix coming back?” Lawson finally asked.

  “He doesn’t like me anymore,” I said. “We wanted two different things, and so we broke up.” The ache of breaking up with him rose, but I shoved it back. Those were emotions I didn’t need to deal with. I didn’t want to give him any more of my time. He didn’t deserve it, and frankly, with everything else going on, I didn’t have the space either.

  “No more movie nights?” Lee asked.

  “Not with him, no. But we will still have them together.”

  “Well, if he doesn’t like you, then we don’t like him. Right, Lee?” Lawson declared, nudging his brother.

  Lee nodded, frowning deeply as he stared at his dish. I smiled at the two of them.

  “And your high?” Lee asked.

  Darn. I didn’t really have one for today. It felt like everything was going bad and getting worse. I thought hard, trying to come up with something they’d like. No way I could tell them about their grandparents. Not yet, at least. Not unless I had to. They didn’t need to see all this ugliness if I could protect them from it. Still, I did have news to break to them, and while in my eyes it was a huge low, it could be a high to them. “High: Your grandmother reached out to me and wishes to have dinner with you on Friday.”

  “Grandmother?” Lawson asked. They looked at each other. “Who?”

  “Your mama’s mom. You haven’t met her yet, but she wishes to connect with you guys since you’re her grandchildren.”

  “I thought she didn’t want to meet us?” Lee looked so confused.

  My heart went out to them. Mandy and I tried to keep our bitterness toward Olivia and my dad hidden, but it was hard. They must have picked up on it. Children were a lot more perceptive than we gave them credit for.

  “She wouldn’t have called if she didn’t want to meet you.” I shifted in my seat. “What do you think? Would you like to meet her?”

  “Is she nice?” Lawson asked.

  “She’s…” I tried really hard to find something nice to say. Anything at all. I had absolutely nothing. I ended up giving them the lamest answer in the universe. “She’s an adult.”

  Lee nodded like he understood. Lawson still looked confused.

  Lee nudged his brother. “It means she won’t really want to play with us. Adults don’t like to play.”

  Oh, thank goodness Lee understood my answer even if I didn’t.

  “Exactly,” I said, deciding it was best to just go with it. “She wants to talk with you, get to know you, but she isn’t the type who’ll roll around on the floor with you.”

  Lawson frowned and looked down at his dish. “That sounds boring.”

  I hid a smirk. “Sure does. So, you’ll meet her?”

  Lee nodded while Lawson voiced his agreement.

  Dinner finished up quickly after that.

  “Okay, Honey Bunches and Oats. Today is Wednesday, what does that mean?”

  “We do our homework and then play quietly,” Lee answered.

  I nodded. “Good. Sissy has to work extra hard tonight to make up for this morning and tomorrow morning, so please behave. If you aren’t bleeding, dying, or on fire, leave me alone. You have chairs if something is too high and leftovers if you get hungry.” I gave the two of them the stink eye. “No more junk food. You’ll give yourself a stomachache and end up being up all night. I refuse to take care of you two when you’re sick. That’s gross.”

  “We’ll behave,” Lee said.

  I smiled as I stood and commenced kissing each of them, making them extra sloppy so they knew how much I loved them. They made it a point to act grossed out, wiping their faces, but I knew they loved it.

  Once they were off being good little children, exactly how I trained them, I got to work.

  ~*~

  The screen grew blurry, and I had to blink a few times. Glancing at the clock, I sighed. It was already two in the morning, and I needed at least some sleep. Carefully shutting everything down, I did my nightly routine.

  First, I checked the twins’ homework and then tucked them away in their folders and left them on the dining table for them to grab in the morning. After that, I made sure the apartment was on lockdown.

  Then I stood in front of the twins’ door. I wanted desperately to crawl into bed with them, but then I remembered the assignment Adam gave me for this week. I needed to let them sleep alone. I needed to sleep alone.

  Stupid therapy homework. They were always the worst. It was like Adam found the best way to torture me and called it homework. He was a cheater, using the things I told him against me.

  Biting my lip, I cracked open the door to at least check on them. I was being an adult right now, making sure they were in bed, sleeping, safe, and still breathing.

  The nightlight in the room cast shadows, and I spotted the two of them squished on a bed together. Lee was curled around Lawson, holding him close. I held my breath and sighed when I heard heavy breathing.

  They were fine. They were just sleeping. My feet were ready to bring me inside so I could feel for their breaths. But I couldn’t do that. That was one of Dr. Adam’s rules. I could open the door and listen, but I couldn’t go in. I couldn’t check for their warm breaths against the back of my hand. As if knowing I needed an anchor to help keep my feet planted, my grip on the doorknob tightened until my knuckles turned white.

  They were okay. They were breathing. I heard two distinct breathing patterns.

  They were okay.

  Closing the door quietly, I remained standing there for a while longer before forcing my feet to move me into my own lonely, cold, and dark bedroom. After turning on all the lights, I did what I did best at night, I paced.

  “No, Maddie, you can’t sleep in their room with them. They’re six years old, practically all grown up. They were fine. They’re sleeping. They’re healthy. They’re safe. Safe.”

  My hands shook as I grabbed my phone and called Kenni.

  “You aren’t sleeping,” she said the moment she answered the phone. She sounded as awake as she always did late at night. Kenni always functioned the best in the middle of the night, preferring to sleep the mornings away.

  Before I even knew what I was going to respond with, I was blabbering, “They want to steal my Honey Bunches and Oats away!”

  The other side was silent for a few painful beats before she responded in a low, cold voice, “What?”

  “Olivia’s super lawyer called me this afternoon. He was letting me know what they were up to and that I needed to meet with them. If I don’t meet with them, they’ll bring it to court.”

  “Hold on, this doesn’t make sense. They haven’t even met the twins before. They never wanted to.”

  “I know!�
�

  Kenni sighed. “Maddie, listen, okay.”

  “Okay.”

  “They aren’t getting the twins. It doesn’t work like that. They don’t get to just snap their fingers and get everything they want, not when it comes to the law and courts. Those twins are yours. You have complete custody over them. They can throw whatever they want your way, but they are safe, healthy, and doing very well in your care. There is nothing they can do to take them. That ice queen is just trying to cause problems, probably pulling the poor me routine to get some attention from her friends and family. Don’t let her win.”

  “But—”

  “There is no but. Not in this scenario. They are very much yours. Do you need me to get you a lawyer? They’ll tell you the same thing.”

  “I’m meeting with someone tomorrow morning.”

  “Okay good.” She was quiet for a moment. “Maddie, we both know what’s going to happen. Olivia is going to try to belittle you. She’ll try to make you out to be the bad guy. You need to stay strong. You are an amazing person. You’re smart, caring, and understanding. Don’t let that woman make you think you’re anything less.”

  I sniffled, remembering why I liked Kenni. There were too many drunken nights in our past to count, and in those moments, that was when we had the real conversations, the kind that wound us together and deepened our bonds. And we balanced each other out so well. She was so analytical, so stuck in the details, and I was the opposite, always off in my own head, preferring to laugh. She kept me tethered to the world, and I kept her from getting too crazy with the little details.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “You’re welcome. I’m going to come over soon. Something came up today, so after I figure that out, I’ll be over and we’re going to have fun. Those people do not have a case against you, just remember that. And you have my number. Call me.”