by Jaci J.
“So ...” Lil says sitting down next to me. She put a little dress thing on. Thank God my dick can get a little rest now. “What's up baby?” I'm not sure I like where she's going with this. Her fingers are tapping on the arm of the lounger and she seems a little unsure.
“Are you stayin' for dinner?” she asks me. Okay that's not what I was expecting. Since I walked through that fence earlier she hasn't brought up the other night. I know it’s coming, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You want me to, yeah?” I retort cautiously. She's either crazy or the most forgiving person I've met. I'm leaning towards the latter. Those sweet fucking eyes tell me all I need to know. She looks at me like I've lost it.
“Well of course. If you want to that is.” She's still looking at me strange.
“What about that shit the other night? We good now?” I just have to ask. I'm not pussy footing around this shit. I want this bitch and I'm not hiding it. No fucking point in pretending it never happened. Turning in her seat towards me she hits me with that sweet smile, innocent eyes and all. My heart hurts a little every time she looks at me like that.
“Yeah. We're good. We had a good friendship before that night, so let’s just stick with that, ok? ” I’m not liking that one fuckin’ bit, but if that’s where I gotta start again, so be it.
Sitting around a fire out back, the suns going down and Lil's sitting next to me on a bench. After our talk she seems even happier, smiling at me, laughing with me.
Gin and Peaches are mauling each other next to us, Cali and Stitch are arguing about hot dogs while Happy and Mini are sitting together talking. Rampage is fucking with a few whores while a few of the other guys are hanging around, eating and bullshitting. I've never been around a girl who isn't some club slut. With Lil it's different. She's respected and loved and wants her life to go somewhere. She knows what my life is like and it's fucking nice. There are no questions. No strange looks when I have to take off for no reason. No whining about it. She accepts it all with a smile.
“Fuckin hell,” Gin barks. Standing up he looks at me with anger on his face. Fuck, that look is never a very good one. Standing up I follow him a few feet away. Shoving his phone into his pocket he curses a few times. “Fuckin' Dracos got onto the property at the garage. Left Verna with the same message they left Lil.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My body tenses as anger works its way back in. This is a terrible way to end a good day. “We leavin'?” I am ready to ride out and blow some of those fuckers heads off. “Nah man. Low said me, you, and Happy stick with the girls. They're gone for a day or so and got some leads.”
Throwing my hands up, I'm about to lose my shit! These fuckers have been a step ahead, fuckin’ with my family and nothing has been done regarding retaliation. We have to be smart about this but too much shit keeps happening and we are starting to look like we are just gonna keep letting them get away with their shit.
Gin pulls me out of my head, “Low said you're one of the only people he trusts with her life, along with me of course, but you know what I mean. I gotta trust Low, and I got Peaches ass to deal with anyways.” Well shit, how in the fuck am I supposed to argue that? That motherfucker keeps making this shit hard for me. The need to go get some revenge pumps in my veins. This shit's in my blood and what I live to do, but what about Lil. She needs me too. Looking over at her, she smiles at me. I’ll sit here and seethe about it, but I'm staying.
12
Lil
It's been a few days since the incident in Tanks room. I was mad as hell at first. Mad at him, wanting to blame him, but pissed at myself too. I didn’t like to admit it, but I was just as responsible for my part in instigating it. That anger has slowly turned into annoyance. At first at him, even though it wasn't just his fault. I threw myself at him and all this time, I never bothered to ask if he had a girlfriend or an Old Lady. And he is a man, what did I expect? I should have known better. The annoyance of the situation has been eating at me so I had to ask the girls
“Girl, you know that bitch Bubbles ain't shit. Just some fuckin' club whore whose been latching herself to any and every dick in the club, hoping to be someone’s Old Lady.” Peaches rants from the pools island. Her and Bubbles have had some issues over Gin. Issues I don't even want to delve into, but clearly she's not a big fan of Bubbles.
“I’m sure she's fucked every brother. That pussy has been rode hard n' put up wet. She ain't got shit on you so she is a nobody, forget about her,” Cali adds with a nod.
Peaches agrees with an, “Amen.”
It's not that I think she's better than me. It just hurts that I threw myself at him, let him work me, and let shit get as far as it did, all while he had a girl. I'm not that girl. I don't go around fucking other women's men. I’ve been around that shit all my life and never wanted or even thought of being ‘that girl.’
“Girl, just give him a chance. We know being with a biker is not your ideal man, but consider this, Tanks a good man. He wants you, it's written all over that handsome face of his and he does not hide it. That says something, don’t ya think?” Peaches sports a wicked grin.
“Bubbles means nothin' to him. He’s knows what she’s about and there is no way in hell he would make her his Old Lady. She’s just your garden variety club gash. ” Cali states firmly. “Tank is a good guy. Big ol' heart.” These girls know too much about club drama being girlfriend of bikers. “At least be friends with him. It's good to see him smile.”
The girls continue their fifteen minute speech on all things Tank. Telling me how sweet he is, how sexy he is. How smart, and so on. How the hell am I supposed to stay mad at him when Peaches and Cali are spouting all kinds of nice things about him when they usually like to be hateful bitches? But they have a point, there's no need to cause any more drama. Might as well be friends with the man, he isn't going anywhere and I'm here for a while. Friends it is.
Being friends with Tank isn't as hard as I thought it would be after the other night. We were friends before it happened so I’ll do my best to get back to that. All day we've gotten along. We just click. He's not like most guys in this biker life. He's not hard and cold like my dad, not creepy like King can be, and he's not goofy as hell like Gin and Happy. He's just different and I like it. We just seem to fall into this easy compatibility with each other. We always find something to talk about. We laugh together, he makes me feel safe and comfortable, and things are never strained between the two of us. He looks at me and makes me feel special. He's still looking at me like he could fuck me at any minute, and I can’t lie, I kind of like it.
Sitting around the fire, the night has finally cooled off. There's a summer storm rolling our way, I can smell it. Leaning against Tanks side I feel comfortable, happy, and safe. I’m healing but I still have some really colorful bruises. Having my family here with me, things are good again.
My dad is always missing though and with mom gone I always feel like something is missing when we're all together, but I know she would want to me to be happy and live my life.
Gin pulls Tank aside and the look on Gin's face says whatever he's got to say isn't good. He’s an easy read when he's mad. After a few minutes, Tank storms back over to me. He’s standing over me with hands pulling at his hair and his jaw set into a hard line. When he's mad, he's mad, there is no hiding it.
“What's going on?” I ask him. I know it's none of my business, but I can't hold the question in. His expression concerns me.
“Lock down,” he growls. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dials a number then holds it to his ear. No need for further explanation, I know what's going on. “Ass inside now, sweets,” he grumbles looking at me with a touch of softness in his eyes. His voice is hard, but I see the sweet smile there. Nodding my head I walk towards the house. Peaches and Cali grumble, but follow orders.
“How bad?” I hear him bark into the phone before I'm too far away. Looking back up at me, his eyes catch mine. For a very brief moment I c
an see the uncertainty, then it passes, morphing into anger. “It's that fuckin' bad.”
Me and Peaches are huddled on the couch watching some bad TV. Cali's upstairs sleeping. Tank, Gin, Happy, and Stitch are pacing around the kitchen barking orders into their phones, making plans, and looking like they're ready to kill someone. Four angry as hell bikers a few feet away and there is nowhere safer in the world for me to be.
“I've gotta pee,” Peaches announces getting off the couch. It's crazy how after years we just fall back into our friendship. I kept in touch with everyone, Gin and Peaches always came for visits, but it’s still as if I never left. That's family.
“Okay, unless you need an escort?” Peaches flips me off and heads to the bathroom.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see George shifting on the floor. Getting up and down, changing position. Poor dog probably has to go to the bathroom too.
“Come on boys,” I call for them to follow. Slipping on some shoes and a sweatshirt, I head for the back door. The rain started an hour ago and it's coming down good. Might even flood if it doesn't let up. I have to walk into the rain; the boys won't go without me. Trained them to damn good.
“Go pee George,” I tell him. Stopping his sniffing he looks up at me. Something in his eyes looks off. “What's up boy?” I ask him. I feel the hairs on my arms stand on end and the air shifts. Something feels wrong, and then everything happens so fast. “I knew I'd find ya again princess,” a deep gruff voice teases from the darkness.
Spinning around I'm knocked flat on my ass. The cold wet grass and rain is soaking into my clothes. A man in all black clothes and a black mask stands over me, shotgun pointed at my face.
“No,” I hear myself whisper. Maybe it's not me that said that. My heads is swimming with panic.
“Fuck!” The man roars in pain. That's when I come back to my senses and see it. George is hanging from the man’s arm, blood dripping from his mouth. With a swift kick he knocks George to the ground and I hear his pained whine. No. No. No. Not my baby.
Out of nowhere, Lennie bolts towards the man and I’m so focused on my boys that I don't see it coming. I feel something go around my neck and everything goes black. I'm not out cold, because I can still hear everything.
“Tank!” I hear myself scream but my throat feels tight and dry. Part of me wonders if I even said it aloud. My body’s shaking and I don’t know if it’s from the cold rain or the adrenaline, but I'm just not sure.
“Tank!” God please Tank hear me. Gun fire starts erupting around me.
“Lil!” I hear Tank call for me. Another loud pop and a dull thud lands a few feet away from me. Oh no. Fuck. Getting up on my knees, I feel around on the ground, hands searching for something, anything. For a long agonizing minute, all I feel is soaking wet grass and mud in my fingers.
Finally my hand lands on something warm and …. furry. Oh fuck. Before I can lose it, one of them licks my arm. He's alive. Feeling for a collar I feel the studded one. George. Oh thank God. Next Lennie saddles up next to me and I realize I don’t hear anything. Tank. My chest feels tight. Tears start to pool at my eyes. What happened to him? Please not Tank.
“Tank?” I call for him and my voice is shaky and scared. Why the fuck won't he answer me? Panic squeezing at my chest while George and Lennie are growling and snarling next to me. What the fuck is going on? My panic is rising by the minute. I wish I had a God damn light.
“Lil, baby,” Tanks voice rings in my ear. My chest expands on a relieved sigh. Thank you God. “Baby,” his voice is weary. Shit, what's going on? “Lil, the dogs won't let us near you,” Tank says in a calm soothing voice.
I can hear Peaches yelling from the house but I can't make out her words though. What does he mean the dogs won't let him near?
“Just shoot ‘em,” I hear a voice I don't recognize say.
“No!” I yell at whoever it is. Grabbing onto my boys I pull them to me. He tries to shoot them, he's going through me first.
“Tank?” I call to him.
“Shut the fuck up man.” Tank barks at whoever wants to hurt my boys.
“Lil, its Gin. The dogs are protecting you sis.” His voice sounds a little jittery.
“Lil, get them to stand down so I can get to you,” Tank says with a pleading note and an urgency to his tone. My boys are protecting me. They won't take commands from anyone but me or my dad. Reaching a hand out to my boys, I pat their heads lovingly. “Platz.”
Tanks hands are on me in an instant. “Hold the fuck still angel,” he says impatiently as he tears a cinched black bag from over my head. Finally I'm able to see a little. I can see Tanks rage filled face staring down at me, but concern in his eyes.
“Are you hurt anywhere?” His hands are all over my body checking me over. Shaking my head I look him over. “Lil are you hurt?” He demands. His face serious.
“No.” Looking at him I look for any sign of injury. Is he okay? Noticing me looking him over, his lips tilt with a hint of a smile.
“I'm good,” he assures me softly.
Looking down I can see both boys by my feet, laying still and watching me. George has blood on his face. Reaching over to him, I pull him closer. No injuries. My eyes find Gin in one piece, Stitch is fine standing by the house, phone to his ear. One of the Prospects are standing by him, the asshole who wanted to shoot my dogs.
Turning around I find the source of the thud. The masked man is lying in a pool of blood not more than six feet away. Tank follows my gaze and pulling me up and into his chest, he holds me tight against him.
“Don't worry baby, ok? We've got this.” Well I didn't think it'd happen this soon, but not more than a month home I get to see my second dead body. Welcome home Lil.
Pulling me away from him, Tank looks at me like I've lost it. “What's so funny?” he asks. He must have felt my body shake with a laugh.
“A dead body,” I mutter dryly. It's not funny, but what the hell else am I going to do? Shaking his head at me, he hauls me into his side protectively.
“We gotta go.”
Tank has been sitting on my bed watching me for ten minutes now, not letting me out of his sight, arms folded in front of him. His hair is a fucking mess and his face needs a good shave. Every step I take, ever drawer I open, every item I put into a bag, he's watching. His face and body are set into hard lines. Nothing but a hard, mean, pissed off biker sits on my bed. But in those blue eyes I can see it. Every emotion he doesn't want anyone to see, I can see.
Inside he's beating himself up for letting that guy get anywhere near us, near me. He's scared for me. Part of him is unsure of how this is going to play out, and on the outside he's nothing but calculated. A cold blooded killer.
“You need some help, darlin’?” he asks gently, getting off the bed. Looking around I wonder what else I should grab, but nothing comes to mind.
“Do I need stuff like blankets or food?” I ask him completely unaware of where I'm going. That's the point. If I don't know then no one can get the information from me, because I truly don't know.
That small smile touches his lips. “You bring whatever makes ya comfortable, but no, I'll take care of you. Anything you need, I'll get it for you.”
Taking my bag from my hand, he smiles reassuringly. It's a comforting and calming smile. Sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like Tank, like all the guys in this club, can be such hard men. All drug runners. All arms dealers. All murderers. These bad men are some of the most caring men around. Each one loves me in their own way.
Grabbing my hand, Tank leads me outside. “Come on, let’s get your ass somewhere safe baby.”
13
Tank
I can hear the water running in my bathroom. I know she's in there safe ‘cause there is only one way in, one way out. My eyes are trained right on that door with my gun in my lap. I'm still having a hard time shaking the fact that I was almost too fuckin’ late to shoot that motherfucker that was gonna take her out. I saw that shotgun pointed point blank
at her, saw how close I came to seeing a fucking hole blown into that pretty head of hers. That shit makes me fuckin’ sick. Makes me want to kill that fucker again. Someone wants to get to her again I'll be dead and buried before it happens. This whole 'giving a shit about someone other than yourself’' thing has me thrown. I realized that I would die from a stress induced heart attack before I let any motherfucker gets near her. I’m a Goddamn mess thinking that I almost lost her tonight. It’s making me sick to my stomach and shaky. She is mine, I’m done pussy footing around it.
The water shuts off. My heart starts that damn frantic beating and I just stare at the door like it's about to perform a fucking trick. My knee is bouncing like I'm on something, my body antsy and humming. With a click, the bathroom door opens and out walks Lil. My fuckin’ beauty. Little black spandex shorts on and a tiny white tee … and no bra. That outfit is only slightly better than that bikini. Her hair is hanging down her back, long and wet. She’s just standing there with a towel in her hand and a smile on her face. She’s just so fuckin’ perfect to me.
“Well I'll leave you to it. I'll be on the couch,” she says heading for the door. Couch? Whoa, whoa. Not fucking happening.
“You're in here,” I tell her nodding at the bed. I'm not having her out on the couch by the damn front door. She looks at the bed and then back at me. Shaking her head she backs towards the door.
“No it's fine. I don't mind.” Too bad, I do mind. Her ass is staying in here even if I have to tie her to the bed. Now that's a thought.
“You're in the bed tonight. End of story,” I tell her sternly. I'm not arguing about this and she catches my drift. Good girl.
Walking over to the bed she lifts the comforter, holding it between two fingers like it might bite her. Turning around with a smirk on her lips she eyes me and then the bed.