The Shrine of Arthis Book One: The Power of Denial

by David A. Gustafson

Axel watched as Jerrid disappeared behind a grassy hummock. He knew there was no chance of pursuit. His grandson had achieved a dream, befriending more than taming Feor. There would be no running down an animal like that. Only slow determined pursuit could succeed. Realizing the same, Melet turned his horse and started back to Garth.

  It was late afternoon when they reached the main gate. Axel returned to Jerroll’s quarters. As he sat down alone, he realized that though he had lived in Garth for nearly seventy years, he now felt like a stranger here.

  The wait was short, even shorter than he expected. Jerroll strode in, followed closely by Melet. Axel was a little surprised when a third man entered the room. It was Tecan, Jerroll’s main counselor, a Master Shaper and Axel’s old friend.

  “Good to see you, Tecan,” Axel said. When Tecan did not answer, Axel knew that Jerroll was in an even fouler mood than he expected.

  “What is it that Melet is telling me?” Jerroll asked harshly. He took a deep breath, trying to contain himself. “Something about Jerrid mounting a Sharanth colt and riding away while you did nothing? What kind of grandfather are you trying to be to this boy?”

  Axel looked calmly at Jerroll. “I am trying to be the type of grandfather that a grandson feels he can confide in. Before we talk more, you need to calm yourself. Jerrid is not a boy. He is a fully grown man, and a skilled Shaper.”

  Jerroll looked back, his face reddening to the point where it looked like he would burst at any moment. Fortunately, Tecan broke in before Axel attempted a reply.

  “What we need to do is understand what has happened. We must consider what the young man may be thinking and decide what our next steps should be. Axel, you have lived with him for many years now. We need you to help us understand.”

  Axel waited for everyone to be seated before he began. “The horse is one I’ve seen before. In a way, Jerrid, and Feor, as he calls the colt, have grown up together. It’s been a dream of Jerrid’s to tame the animal. His dream seems to have come true today. I suspect the bond that has been forged between the two will shape many of Jerrid’s actions.”

  “I remember him always having an unusual love for horses,” Tecan said, considering. Jerroll remained silent, seemingly in control though his clenched jaw suggested that it was a struggle.

  “I’ve been thinking about it,” Axel continued. “I’m afraid that I don’t have any easy answer. Jerrid spent his early years here in Garth. We both consider it to be our home. Yesterday felt like no homecoming. Obviously, he will not return here, at least not any time soon.”

  “You should not have come here,” Jerroll answered defensively. “We must keep the existence of Yargis a secret. Even within our own people. Worse yet, the leading of strangers here was a betrayal of the oath you both took when you left to go to Yargis.”

  “Thank you, Jerroll,” Axel replied acridly. “You made your point yesterday. My point today is that my grandson will not be coming back!” The old Shaper paused to get control. “Nor do I think he will return to Yargis. In his mind that is a place for refuge. That does not interest him. He is curious. Where he will go to feed his curiosity is unknown to me.”

  “What happened yesterday is behind us,” Tecan said before Jerroll could answer. “A man who does not understand that will be challenged again tomorrow. If we are to find Jerrid we must work together. Perhaps we should send out a tracking party. If we left at dawn we should still be able to pick up his trail.”

  “If there is to be a tracking party, I shall lead it,” Jerroll snapped. “We will need our best tracker, which, of course is you, Tecan.”

  “There is nothing for me here,” Axel replied. “If we catch up to him, perhaps I can persuade him to return with me to Yargis.”

  “There will be no persuading,” Jerroll commented. He stood up and walked to the doorway. “His duty is to return and prepare for our future. We will not debate this. Melet, we will need supplies for at least six days. You and Aaron will join us. We will leave at first light.” When Jerroll finished speaking, he opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind.

  Melet looked at Axel, then Tecan, as if waiting for instructions. Receiving none, he stood up and followed Jerroll into the night.

  “It looks like we will be taking the trail together again, Old Friend,” Tecan said calmly, still sitting at the table. “With Jerrid riding the mount you describe, it sounds as though it may be a fruitless chase.”

  “I think we will find him, but,” Axel hesitated.

  “But what happens then?” Tecan responded.

  “Yes. If Jerroll makes demands as he intends to, we may as well stay here.”

  “What if Jerroll tries to force him to obey?” Tecan asked seriously.

  “The boy loves our people. I have no doubt that he will remember their need and do what is best for them. However, what Jerrid thinks is best may not be the same as what Jerroll does. Jerrid wanted to tell his father of his accomplishments. I think he is seeking closure of some sort. Yet Jerroll is so fixated on keeping Yargis secret, he lashed out, losing his chance to make an impact, to start a new relationship. If he confronts Jerrid again, the gap between them will widen further.”

  “I will talk to Jerroll, right now before he gets too involved in making plans for tomorrow. It is nearly time for dinner. Please, come to my home. You are no stranger here. Deborah would love to see you.”

  Axel accepted Tecan’s invitation. They left Jerroll’s flat and soon arrived at Tecan’s house. When they opened the door, the smell of fresh food made Axel’s mouth water. Once inside, Tecan excused himself on his urgent errand. Deborah cheerily greeted Axel and placed another setting on the table.

  “It’s good to see you, Axel. I heard that you and Jerrid were here, but Tecan said Jerroll was trying to keep it hushed and you weren’t allowed visitors. I’m glad that’s changed.”

  “Thank you for having me. I apologize for the short notice.”

  “Would you like some water and maybe a slice of fresh bread while we wait? Tecan shouldn’t be too long. He has a way with Jerroll.”

  “Yes, I’d like that. We can catch up on what’s happening in Garth.”

  Deborah was a pleasant woman, easy to talk to and full of information. Axel learned that after the Sortiri attack, life in Garth went on pretty much as it always did, the fear forgotten in just a few months. Even interest in Yargis ebbed as Jerroll went out of his way to keep news of the city quiet. Now, five years later, the hole left in their community by the attack and the subsequent departure of so many families had combined into a single event.

  “It’s almost as if you were all taken by the Sortiri,” Deborah remarked. “It sooths me to hear your voice, see your glowing eyes and know you still live. Can you tell me of your daughter? She was such a joy, involved in so many areas of our lives. Losing her was devastating to us all, none more than Jerroll. He has become a cold and calculating man since then, obsessed with fortifying the city.”

  Axel glanced at his wrinkled hands and did not answer.

  “I’m sorry if I intrude,” Deborah said. “It is inappropriate for me ask such a question.”

  “No, I don’t mind, I was just wondering where to start. I didn’t realize how difficult coming back to Garth was going to be, the memories and emotions. It was Jerrid’s idea. I wanted to discourage him but how could I deny the boy an opportunity to see his father, after so long? He lost the most to the Sortiri, his mother, the only home he ever knew and as it turned out, even his father. I have tried to fill the gap. But the only thing we share is our work.”

  “You have much more than that, Axel,” Deborah replied. “I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in every word you say. I’m sure Jerrid would agree that you have become the most important person he could have, a friend who understands him.”

  “I’m sorry,” Axel answered trying to control his tears. “This is harder than I thought. You asked me to describe Lamil. I would have to say that she, exists. Every day she awakens, takes her
meals, and functions. Yet her eyes are dark, she does not speak, her priceless laughter, extinguished. It is a terrible state. It pains me to think what her soul must be enduring. I try to maintain hope, but like beauty, it fades with time.”

  “Life is not fair,” Deborah replied, also dabbing a tear. “How many times do we hear that? Not enough to make us accept it. I am younger than you, Axel, but not young. My youth is gone. I may live past a hundred years but eventually my Amber will diminish and I will be no more. Time is like a solvent, dissolving everything. It is horrible, made worse by the Sortiri. It seems you, Jerroll, and even your grandson are using work to hide from our true purpose. It may dull the pain but true joy is not there. I used to see an answer in the eyes of your daughter, the love she brought to so many. As long as she ‘exists’ as you say, there is hope she will find her way back and show us again how happy life can be.”

  Axel thought about what Deborah had said. Somehow he had forgotten the importance of love and hope. Her wisdom helped him to rekindle his hope for Lamil and to soften his judgment against Jerroll. He remembered that when his own wife had died shortly after Lamil was born, the love he had for his baby daughter was the only thing that saved him. Jerroll had made a great sacrifice he realized. Sending the three people left in the family away together was Jerroll’s way to help them all find the healing they needed.

  A short time later Tecan returned. “It was not as hard as I thought it would be,” he said as they all sat down to eat. “Jerroll is driven by a sense of failure. He wants Jerrid to forgive him. Maybe then he’ll be able to forgive himself. When I explained how Jerrid is struggling to find a place, I think Jerroll understood.”

  “I guess we’re all stuck in the same darkness,” Axel whispered. Wrestling with unexpected feelings of regret and selfishness, their evening passed quickly. In a fog, Axel returned to Jerroll’s apartment to sleep.

  Early the next morning the group prepared to depart, readying their mounts and loading supplies. Aaron relegated Ike to packhorse. Though the load he carried was less than what Jerrid weighed, there was a look of sulking in his carriage. Jerroll stood by, deliberately ignoring everyone except Melet. Axel thought a few times about how to open a dialogue but sensed that anything he said was likely to invoke a lasting chill into their parting.

  After a brief discussion with Tecan, Melet led them directly south. About two hours later, they reached the junction with the trading road.

  Tecan dismounted his horse and walked ahead. “I cannot be certain. The ground is hard and rocky. It appears that one or more horses have passed recently. Since there are no other roads between here and where Jerrid turned west, it seems likely he went through here. I’ll take the lead and keep a close watch. Perhaps the tracks will be clearer as we progress.”

  As they traveled further west, Tecan’s confidence steadily grew. Many times, he dismounted to examine a mark or a set of tracks in the roadbed. Eventually they reached a boggy area where it was clear that a single horse had recently passed. The tracks were definitely those of a large unshod horse. The Foedan and the Comburen shod their mounts so the prints were likely from a wild horse. Since those horses roamed in herds, Tecan felt quite certain they were on the right track.

  The group made steady progress over the next several days. They rode from first light to twilight, passing the Neverth River and the fork in the road that led to Yargis early on their second day. Tecan paused there to study what direction Jerrid had gone. Axel’s instincts proved to be correct. Jerrid had not returned to the hidden city.

  Late in the afternoon of their fourth day, they halted. Over the last twenty miles the Arm had narrowed and the trail drifted further to the south, coming much closer to the Forest than it did back to the east. They stood at a junction where a small trail from the south intersected with the main road. Tecan appeared confused by the markings on the ground.

  “I don’t understand what’s happened here,” he stammered after traversing the area on foot for nearly twenty minutes. “We’ve been following a single unshod horse for days. Now suddenly I see markings from several other horses, and if I’m not mistaken, they are wearing iron shoes. It seems clear that the horse we’ve been following turned south. What’s odd is that there are no recent tracks to the west. I don’t understand where these other horses came from but the only tracks to follow lead to the Forest.”

  The other riders were concerned. The Amber Foedan were uncomfortable in the Forest. The thought that their route was going to take them south into its heart made them uneasy.

  Tecan clambered back onto his saddle, exchanging glances with Melet. “I don’t like this any better than you but we’ve come too far to turn back now. I’ll need to go slowly; at least until I’m sure they went this way.”

  After reaching the Forest and riding several hundred yards, Tecan stopped again and dismounted. “Two shod and one unshod horse passed here, of that I am now certain. Jerrid’s horse appears to have come last, trailing them. Its tracks land on top of the others. But something else is here that I have never seen the likes of.”

  “What is it?” Melet said with obvious distaste.

  “After Jerrid passed, there was something else that left tracks here. They look like that of an animal with cloven feet. I can think of no wild creature in this area that would leave an imprint like that. Certainly they were not left by a deer. In the mountains far north of Garth there is a type of rare mountain goat that might leave such a track. In a Forest like this, I don’t know.”

  Chapter 7: To Heal Falsely