Desperately Seeking Roommate

by Smeltzer, Micalea

  Abel curses under his breath and I smack his chest.

  “Language.” I narrow my eyes on him. “The kids can hear you.”

  Actually, they’re watching Toy Story now and don’t have a care in the world for us. In fact, I think they’ve entirely forgotten about the zoo.

  “We forgot the stroller.” He runs his fingers through his hair roughly and exhales a breath.

  “We didn’t forget anything, buddy.” I waggle my finger at him. “I wasn’t supposed to be going on this little outing of yours.”

  He glares at me. “Not helping, Lou.”

  “I was just stating facts, there’s no reason to get snappy.”

  “Mhmm.” He stands with his hands on his hips, staring at the empty trunk like he can magically will a stroller to appear.

  “Maybe they have those stroller rental things,” I propose.

  He cocks his head in my direction. “I really fu—flipping hope so.”

  We unload the kids and I strap Cristian to my chest in one of those baby wrap things I find strewn on the floor. Abel grabs Bella into his arms and Matteo hops out, content to walk beside us. I’m sure Bella would walk too, but since she’s small and the parking lot is busy it’s safer to keep a hold of her.

  A stroller is still necessary, though, because there’s no way Bella’s legs won’t get tired.

  After entering the zoo, we ask someone about strollers and are directed to the kiosk across from the Visitor Center to rent one.

  Abel decides to splurge and spend twelve dollars for the double stroller in case Matteo gets tired of walking.

  With the zebra decorated stroller in hand, he places Bella in it and we finally start through the zoo.

  “Have you ever been here?” I pose the question as I adjust the wrap so Cristian’s head is protected from the sun.

  “No. You?”

  I shake my head, trying not to smile at how hot he looks pushing a stroller down the lane. Matteo stands between us, his hand clasped to the stroller. His head swivels around, taking in all the sights even though there are no animals to see yet.

  “Snaaaakes.” Bella makes a hissing noise. “I wanna seeeeee the snaaaakes.”

  Abel chuckles, leaning down to peer at her in the stroller. “I know, Bells. We’re going to see the snakes.”

  “But when?”

  “Yeah, when, Uncle Abie?”

  Matteo looks up at Abel and I fight a grin. The kids’ nickname for Abel is actually pretty adorable.

  “Whenever we get to them.” He laughs at the eager kids, not at all bothered with their pestering.

  Glancing down at Cristian, I find him fast asleep, using my boobs as a pillow. At least those things come in handy for something other than being a major pain in my ass.

  Walking around the zoo with Abel and the kids proves to be not only an adventure, but fun. I’m glad now he insisted I go, because this is an experience I wouldn’t want to miss out on. Not the zoo itself, per se, but seeing Abel with his niece and nephews. He lifts Bella up onto his shoulders so she can see better and she covers his eyes with her chubby hands.

  “I’m covering your eyes, Abie. You can’t seeee,” she sing-songs to him and his laughter fills the air. “Don’t dwop me.”

  “I would never drop you, Princess.”

  Hey, Lou? It’s your ovaries—we want that man to get you pregnant.

  Abel takes her hands, peeling them off his eyes and turns to smile at me.

  Heart stops. Skin dampens. Tummy drops. Butterflies explode.

  “Having fun?”

  If you were shirtless it would be even better.

  I force the attacking butterflies away and nod. “So much fun.”

  We check out the lions, giraffes, zebras, and even tigers before we finally make it to the snake exhibit Bella has been begging to see. Even Matteo has now joined in on asking about them.

  “It’s time to see the snakes, Princess.” Abel takes Bella out of the stroller and into his arms, using one hand to keep pushing it forward even though I step forward to take it. He shakes his head, urging me not to.

  “I have two hands.” I wiggle my fingers in a mockery of jazz hands. “Let me push it.”

  “No.” He shakes his head adamantly.

  “Men.” I roll my eyes good-naturedly and he chuckles.

  “What a beautiful family.” At the words I turn and find one of the zoo workers smiling at us. “Would you like me to take a photo of you guys?”

  I open my mouth to protest, to explain we’re not a family, but Abel beats me to it.

  “That would be great, ma’am. Thank you so much.”

  He unlocks his phone, opening the camera app, and hands it to her.

  “Up you go, Bells.” He lifts Bella back onto his shoulders. “Come here, Matteo.” I stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do. Do I run away? Pretend I don’t notice what’s going on? “Lou?” He raises a brow. “Get over here.”

  The worker smiles at me. “Stand beside your husband.”

  My husband. Jesus, fuck.

  I’m sorry for adding fuck after your name Jesus. I’m not very ladylike and I should definitely go to church more, so yeah, sorry. I’d say it won’t happen again, but I know I’d be lying.

  I skedaddle over to Abel and he holds onto Bella with one hand, wrapping his other around me. He pulls me in against his hard, muscular body and I try not to squeak.

  He’s hot, Lou. That’s all. Stop acting like his touch means something to you.

  But it does, it so does. It brings me to life in a way I’ve never felt before. My cells zing any time I’m near him and it’s entirely unfair.

  I’m allowed to be attracted to him. It doesn’t mean love. It doesn’t mean marriage. It doesn’t even mean we’ll have sex. This feeling can simply exist without anything happening.

  Somehow, I don’t believe myself.

  “Smile,” the worker coaxes.

  I smile and at the last second I look up at Abel and find him looking down at me.

  I glance away hastily, but it’s not soon enough. It doesn’t rid me of what I felt when I looked into his eyes.

  The employee hands Abel his phone back and he smiles before tucking it into his pocket and letting Bella down.

  “Thanks,” he calls after her as she returns to her post.

  Turning around, she smiles. “You’re welcome. Enjoy the zoo.”

  Finally, we head into the snake exhibit and Bella screams so shrilly I’m certain my eardrum is going to burst.

  “Snaaaakes! Snakes! Snakes Snakes!”

  I glance at Abel, raising a brow. “She sounds like me when I want snacks. Do you know that little kid snaaacks GIF? That’s me. I’ve never felt more connected to anything in the world than that GIF. I feel it on a spiritual level.”

  He busts out laughing, bending down to pick up Bella so she can peer into the glass at one of the snakes. Matteo stands on his tiptoes so he can see better and I feel my heart warm as Abel reads off the placard information about the snake.

  Inspired by our previous photo, I take out my phone and snap one of Abel with his niece and nephew.

  Cristian still snoozes peacefully against me, but I know soon he’ll be ready for a bottle and diaper change. My stomach is also demanding lunch.

  Abel carries Bella to the next window and Matteo tags along.

  “Oh, hey. Look at this, Princess.” Abel points inside. “It’s your yellow snake you wanted to see.”

  “Oooh, pretty.”

  “It’s actually called a yellow ball python,” he explains.

  She turns her big eyes up at him. “Dat’s a long name. I want to call him Lemon.”

  “Lemon?” He chuckles, looking at me over his shoulder. “Lou hates lemon.”

  “Lemon Starbursts.” I stick my chin in the air defiantly. “Lemon Starbursts are a cruelty against humanity.”

  “Is that so?” Challenge sparkles in his eyes.

  From my purse I pull out a pink starburst and pop it into my mout
h—not before I stick out my tongue with the candy sitting proudly on the end.

  “Can I have one?” Matteo holds out his hand eagerly and I grab another starburst and give it to him, taking the wrapper back when he unwraps it so he doesn’t just toss it on the ground all willy-nilly. We’re not litterers.

  Before we can leave the snake exhibit another employee exits a side door with a snake wrapped around his shoulders.

  “Can I pet it?” Bella shrieks from Abel’s arms, reaching her chubby hands out for the snake like she wants to cuddle it.

  “I don’t know, we can ask.”

  My feet stay firmly rooted to the ground as Abel takes the kids over to the snake.

  The snake that’s not behind a glass enclosure.

  The snake that’s looking at me like I’d be a tasty morsel.

  Dear Mr. Snake, I taste like Starbursts—not the good pink kind, but the yellow kind. They’re the worst. You don’t want to eat me.

  The next thing I know, Bella is petting the snake and Abel is calling me over.

  I shake my head adamantly. I’m not moving until that thing is gone.

  “Lou!” Abel waves more frantically.

  I shake my head again, wrapping my arms around the baby strapped to my chest. “He’s getting fussy. I’ll just wait for you guys.”

  Abel eyes me. We both know the baby is still sound asleep and not fussing at all.

  I sit on a throne of lies and I’m okay with it.

  “Louise,” he says sternly, “Hank here isn’t going to bite you.”

  “Is Hank the man or the snake, because the snake definitely wants to bite me?”

  The zoo employee stifles a laugh.

  “Be brave.” Abel stares at me, willing me to take a step and then another.

  Fuck, why am I such a sucker for a challenge?

  Somehow, in the next ten minutes Cristian ends up in Abel’s arms and I have a snake wrapped around my shoulders.

  “When my mom calls the pink phone hotline tonight and you have to tell her you caused my death, I hope she curses your very existence and you get some kind of rare rash on your balls that leads to your dick falling off.”

  Abel’s lips quirk, fighting a smile while I internally freak out because oh my fucking God there’s a snake touching me.

  “Smile.” Abel holds up his phone and snaps a photo. Hopefully the kids are too young to understand what the one finger salute I give the camera means.

  “You’re the Devil wrapped in a nice package,” I grumble as the employee takes the snake back.

  Abel grabs my waist and pulls me into his body. My palms land on his chest, but I tip my body back, not wanting to touch him because I’m pissed he convinced me to do that.

  “My actual package is even nicer.” He whispers the words seductively in my ear, and my treacherous eyes, curse them, drift down to the zipper of his jeans. He chuckles and releases me. “Come on, kids. Let’s have lunch and then we’ll see more.”

  “I hate you.” If looks could kill the glare I’m smiting him with would have turned him to ash.

  The jerk simply smiles even bigger. “No, you don’t.”

  I don’t.

  After a potty break and a diaper change for Cristian, we find a picnic table in a shaded area near a café and sit down to eat the lunch Abel prepared.

  He passes me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “I made it with extra love. That should earn me back points for the snake thing.”

  My eyes narrow. “You wish, bud.”

  He unwraps Bella’s sandwich and hands it to her, fighting back a smile.

  I try my best to feed Cristian his bottle while I eat, which leads me to balancing his bottle with my chin and feeding myself with my hand.

  Whatever works, amiright?

  Despite the whole snake incident, I’m glad I came with Abel and the kids. Watching him with them, this whole day really, makes a longing bloom in my chest.

  After my past treatment with guys, I’d written the notion off for the time being, but the feelings he stirs in me makes me ache once more for love. Not lust, fleeting and insubstantial, but real true exhaustively beautiful and achingly painful kind of love.

  One day, I’ll have that, but for today I’m just going to enjoy this—a friendship I never thought I’d have, with a guy who’s so much more than I believed him to be.

  18

  Abel

  When we arrive back at my sister’s house, Lou and I unload the very sleepy kids, who immediately come to life when they smell the Happy Meals I picked up before getting here. Except Cris, of course, he keeps snoozing away.

  “Lou, can you stay and tell us a story? You didn’t get to do it before.” Matteo watches her over the kitchen table, dipping his fry in honey mustard, just like Blondie beside me.

  “Yeah, I can do that if Uncle Abie is okay with it?” She turns those impossibly blue eyes up at me, blinking her long dark lashes.

  In an ideal world I’d lean forward, kiss her, and then defile her on the kitchen table, but with my niece and nephews in the house that won’t be happening.

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Yay!” Matteo throws his hands up in the air and starts dancing on the chair.

  “Sit down and eat your food.” I point for him to park his butt and he does as he’s told with a reluctant grimace.

  Beside him, Bells smiles up at me showing her half-chewed chicken nugget in her mouth. Her yellow stuffed animal snake I bought her at the zoo is wrapped around her tiny body. It’s aptly named Lemon despite Lou’s protests against lemon anything.

  Cristian begins to cry and Lou starts to get up to grab him, but I gesture for her to sit down. If she’d been any other sitter she would’ve been gone when we got back. Instead she’s stuck around and, selfishly, I don’t want her to go.

  I cradle my squirming baby nephew in my arms and make him a bottle before I sit down again to finish my dinner.

  I don’t make a habit of eating fast food, but after the long day, I knew it was the easiest route to take with the kids. My sister might kill me for feeding her kids junk but when the cat’s away the mice will play or something like that.

  As soon as everyone’s fed, Lou leaves me with the baby and goes to give the other two a bath. I protest, since I’m the one who volunteered to stay the night with them so my sister could have a night out for her birthday, but the kids tug her away saying they want Lou and not me. Frankly, neither one of us wants to argue with them.

  I change Cristian into some footy PJs and rock him to sleep in my arms, humming like I’ve heard my sister do, and soon enough he’s out. Carefully, I slip him from my arms into the bassinet beside the bed and turn on the camera so I can keep an eye on him. No way in hell am I sleeping in my sister’s bed. That’s fucking weird.

  Tiptoeing out of the room—which is not easy for a guy my size—I ease the door closed and head down the hall where I detect voices coming from Bella’s room.

  “Make the voices.” I hear Matteo plead. “You do the best ones.”

  The next second I hear Lou making voices for the characters in the story she reads. I stand outside the door, out of sight, smiling to myself.

  When I peek around the door I find her sitting in the chair in Bella’s room, with both kids seated eagerly at her feet. She’s captured their attention and nothing else exists in their little world.

  I’m not sure anything else exists in mine either, not for the moment at least. It’s only her.

  I venture into the room and Lou looks up, taking in my presence, before she returns to reading and acts like I’m not there.

  Leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest, I wonder how she can be so unaffected by my presence, because whenever I’m in a room with her she’s all I feel and see anymore. I wasn’t prepared for someone like her. Beautiful, smart, uniquely herself. Too many people try to be something they’re not. Not Lou, she’s who she is through and through and I not only admire that in her but I’m insanely attracted
to it as well.

  There are so many reasons I should stay away from her.

  She’s my roommate.

  My promise to myself of no sleeping around this year.

  I’m not good enough for her.

  But all of those reasons fall on deaf ears.

  She finishes reading the storybook and the kids plead with her for another.

  She shakes her head, a smile dancing on her lips. “Nice try, guys. It’s almost past your bedtime already and it’s been a long day. We can read more stories next time.”

  “Come on, Matteo,” I call out, and he turns around from his cross-legged position on the floor. “I’ll tuck you in.”

  “But I want, Lou.” He pouts his lips, accentuating his whiney tone.

  I shake my head adamantly and snap my fingers. “Lou’s not even supposed to be here still. Bed, now. March those little legs.” I urge him out the door, hands on his shoulders.

  He looks up at me. “One day I’m going to have bigger legs than yours and I’ll be telling you to march.”

  “Mhmm, bed.”

  Over my shoulder Lou laughs. “I’ll get Bella to bed. Have fun with Matteo.” Her eyes sparkle with laughter.

  I leave her with Bells and get Matteo to brush his teeth before he climbs into bed. I draw the blankets up over him and tuck him in the way I’ve seen my sister do.

  “Sweet dreams.” I turn off the lights and push the button for his nightlight.

  “The sweetest,” Matteo echoes, and I smile. I love that my sister has carried over our mom’s nighttime tradition with her kids.

  I ease the door closed and head downstairs, making sure to keep my normally heavy footsteps quiet.

  Lou stands in the kitchen, gathering up her stuff. She turns to face me and the way her fingers dance along the side of her leg I know she’s nervous.

  “Thank you for coming today.”

  “I like spending time with the kids.”

  I reach out and grasp a piece of her hair, watching the way her throat bobs and her eyes watch me steadily. “I like spending time with you.”

  In a normal circumstance, I’d bend down and capture her lips with mine. True, I’ve already kissed her, but I feel like we’re both scared, dancing around our feelings and I don’t want to constantly be making a move on her. The last thing I want is for her to think I’m just another one of those guys who took advantage of her and hurt her.