Counting on Love

by R L Burgess

  “I think I would like that,” Reyna said slowly. “I haven’t seen a good sunrise in a long time.”

  “Oh, you won’t regret it! The colours are to die for.”

  “Well, I’d just about die if I had to get up at six in the morning and get on a bike,” Jessica snorted. “Take some pics, though. I’d love to see them when I’m done sleeping.”

  “You’re all bluff, Jessica,” Reyna told her friend. “I know you. You’re the first one up in the morning and definitely the last to bed.”

  “True. But when you work for the government you have no choice. Politicians never seem to sleep. They’re always too worried about news cycles to sleep. But really, that’s the only kind of cycle I’m interested in at that time in the morning. I don’t think I’ve been on a bicycle since I was twelve years old.”

  “If I’m getting up at six in the morning I’d better get to bed now.”

  “Actually,” Zoe corrected, “we need to leave at six, so you’d better get up a bit earlier than that.”

  “Right. Where do I meet you?”

  “I can pick you up from your room if you like? The bikes are stored in the rec shed and I’ve got the passcode.” Zoe drained the remnants of her glass and stood, noticing the buzz of the champagne in her limbs. “I think I’ll hit the sack too.”

  “Great. Why don’t you walk back with me and I’ll show you where my room is? That way you’ll know where to come in the morning.”

  “Sure. Goodnight, Jessica. It was lovely to meet you.”

  “Goodnight to you both. I might stay up a little longer and see out the evening. I’d love to see those photos if you’re around tomorrow night, Zoe? Over a drink perhaps?”

  Zoe blinked. A drink with Jessica Myers? “It’s a date,” she said.

  “Perfect,” Jessica replied. “Let’s all go to town. Reyna, you’ll join us? There’s a great little rooftop bar I’d like to check out. We can meet in front of the hotel at nine.”

  Zoe felt her cheeks flush, glad the darkness hid her embarrassment. For a second she had thought Jessica was actually inviting her out, but clearly she had misread the situation. Thank god neither woman had seemed to notice her words.

  Zoe followed Reyna out of the pool area and onto the cobblestone path that led to the first circle of units.

  “I’m just down here,” Reyna gestured. “Number seven.”

  “I’m in the Desert Spring building. I have a nice view of the hotel from my balcony.”

  “A view is good.”

  “Bit of a hike to breakfast, though.”

  “And here I was thinking you liked exercise. So, this is me.” Reyna stopped on the pathway. Her unit was set back amongst a screen of foliage, the door hidden from view of the main path.

  “All right. I’ll come back before six then. Sleep well, Reyna.” Zoe touched her lightly on the arm, realising it was out of character for her to do so. Oh well, she could blame the champagne.

  “Goodnight, Zoe,” Reyna said, her eyes shying away from Zoe’s as she headed for her door.

  Zoe courted sleep with a hot shower and a cup of chamomile tea, grateful for the soporific effect of the alcohol in her system. When it did come, she dreamt over and over that she had slept through her alarm and missed the sunrise altogether, waking anxiously to check the time on her phone repeatedly through the night in case she really had overslept and missed the morning with Reyna. When her alarm finally sounded she woke with a start and quickly switched it off, the sound grating against the silence of the desert morning.

  She cleaned her teeth and dressed in layers by the light of her bedside lamp. It was cold and dark now, but she knew from yesterday morning that by the time the sun came up it would be warm enough to shed her jacket on the ride back to the hotel. Switching off the lamp, she let herself quietly out of her room, careful not to let the door slam and wake her sleeping neighbours. She jogged down the stairwell rather than waiting for the lift and made her way to Reyna’s unit, enjoying the absolute stillness around her. The birds were not awake yet, and there was nothing moving at the hotel.

  At Reyna’s door she tapped quietly and took a step back, wondering if Reyna had managed to wake up on time. Would she be ready? Would she have changed her mind?

  She leaned against the doorframe while she waited. Should she tap again? Would that seem rude? If Reyna was still asleep, there wouldn’t be any point in waking her now. Perhaps she had forgotten. Zoe could just creep away and do the ride on her own, as she had originally planned. It had been ridiculous to think that Reyna, the CEO of her firm, would want to join her on a dawn bike ride! Perhaps she would tap just once more, and if she still didn’t answer she would leave. She raised her hand to knock and the door swung open, leaving Zoe standing at the doorway with her fist in the air. She quickly put it down, trying not to stare as Reyna stepped out onto the pathway. She was wearing a pair of soft, grey track pants, baby blue flats and a puffer jacket, zipped up to her chin. Her hair was damp, as if she had just showered, a loose strand stuck to her cheek. Zoe had to shove her hands in her pockets to resist the urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. Reyna looked younger without her makeup, almost vulnerable in the shadows of the pre-dawn.

  “Sorry, I was just looking for my jacket.”

  “No worries. Ready to go?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” Reyna shot her a hesitant smile, as if she had been debating the merits of this experience with herself and lost. “You might have to go slow for me. I’m not a big professional athlete like you.”

  “You’ll be fine. Come on, let’s get the bikes.”

  The helmets were stored on a shelf at the back of the rec shed and Zoe grabbed two, tossing one to Reyna.

  “Pretty sure they’re just one size fits all so try that on.”

  She wheeled her bike out into the open and adjusted the straps on her helmet. Reyna appeared to be struggling with hers.

  “You all right?”

  “I can’t seem to shorten the straps.”

  “Here, let me help you.”

  Zoe rested her bike on the ground and took the straps from Reyna’s hands, sliding the toggle up the strap in order to shorten it. “Try that?”

  Reyna fumbled with the straps, trying to meet the two ends together under her chin.

  “I’ve got it.” Zoe took the two ends and gently clipped them together, careful to avoid touching Reyna’s skin. It would be so easy to run her thumb along Reyna’s cheek, to graze her lips with her own. Her abdomen constricted, her heart thudding. Heat spread through her. She took a step back and said quickly, “That should do it.”

  The ride out to Untyeyetwelye was an easy, flat route. She remembered the route well enough from the previous day that she didn’t have to stop and check the directions. They rode silently, side by side through the darkness. A few cars passed them, their headlights illuminating the road and the surrounding gum trees for a brief moment, and then they were picking their way through the darkness by the light of the torch on Zoe’s mobile phone.

  “I did ask the hotel if they had any bike lights, but unfortunately they don’t,” Zoe apologised as they pedalled down a long straight road. “I didn’t think to bring mine with me, but we’re actually nearly there.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s kind of nice riding in the dark. Makes it feel like an adventure. Anyway, my eyes are pretty much adjusted now.”

  Adventuring with Reyna, Zoe thought. Who would have imagined that? She felt a little thrill run through her as she pushed on the pedals and stood, letting the bike coast for a moment. She felt good. She felt free.

  “Now you’re just showing off.”

  “What? No, it’s fun that’s all. You should try it.”

  “I’d fall off.”

  “Nah, it’s harder to fall off a bike than you think, once you get moving. You’ve just got to look straight ahead to keep your balance.”

  Reyna followed her instructions, looking straight ahead as she pedalled some more and then suddenly
she too stood on her pedals. “Woo,” she called, shaking her head in the breeze. “Doing it!” Her bike gave a small wobble and she sank back down onto her seat, laughing. “I haven’t done that for an age.”

  Zoe’s heart soared like a bird on an updraft. If I could sing, she thought, I would want to do that right now. Sadly her voice was about as birdlike as a crow. Regardless, she felt weightless, like she had been airlifted out of her normal life and dropped into a moment that had been reserved especially for them.

  “It’s pretty good, isn’t it?” she called, pedalling hard to feel the rush of air against her face. The sign for Anzac Hill loomed in the darkness and she pulled up, waiting for Reyna to catch up.

  “Hey, you said you’d go easy on me, Lance Armstrong!”

  “Sorry.” Zoe grinned. “We can leave the bikes and walk up from here.”

  They dismounted, linking their bikes together with a chain Zoe had procured from the hotel, and headed up a small gravel track. As the track got steeper their pace slowed and Reyna slipped, her foot sliding out from under her on a loose stone. Zoe reached out her hand and grabbed her by the elbow, holding her up. Reyna gave a shaky laugh.

  “Got you,” Zoe said.

  “I don’t think my shoes are really cut out for this. I didn’t actually bring any runners with me.”

  “That’s okay. We’re nearly there. Just hang on to me until we reach the top.”

  Zoe linked her arm through Reyna’s, holding her close to support her as they finished the last few meters of steep ascent. As fit as she was, she felt breathless, as if she was finishing Everest, conscious of Reyna’s body pressed against her own.

  At the top, they stood for a moment, arms still linked, watching as the morning lights began to flicker on in the township. There were others dotted around the top of the hill, getting out cameras and tripods, obviously gathering to watch the sunrise.

  “We made it then,” Reyna said quietly, her body warm against Zoe’s.

  “Want to sit down?” Zoe suggested as they looked around the hill.

  “Sure.”

  “We should sit on the side where the sun comes up. There’s an empty bench.”

  Reluctantly, she let Reyna’s arm slip from her own and they made their way over to the bench and sat down. She checked her watch. The sky was beginning to glisten with the first hint of red dawn light. “It won’t be long now.”

  “There’s The Gap.” Reyna pointed toward a craggy break in the ranges where the road ran into the township.

  “Oh yeah, I came in through there on my way from the airport. God, I love this view. The landscape here is just phenomenal.”

  The edge of the sky above the ranges was beginning to glow a deep orange, the bowl above their heads lightening to a pale blue. Reds streaked the across the sky as if smudged on to a canvas by a carefree artist.

  “It feels ancient. That’s what I like about this landscape. It’s like you can actually see the history of the land out here. Melbourne is so covered in buildings and asphalt you can’t really see or feel anything.”

  “I did a walking tour back home recently with an Aboriginal elder, where we visited sites that were sacred to the Aboriginal people of Melbourne, and she told us about their meaning and significance. It was really special, but I know what you mean. I was standing at this riverbank at a giant weir, on a man-made platform with bicycle paths and bench seats all over the place, trying to imagine what it had been like a few hundred years ago. You don’t have to try so hard out here, that’s for sure.”

  “I wish Holden could have seen this.”

  “Holden?”

  “My nephew. He really wanted to come with me but he had school. He would have loved this.”

  “Young boys do seem to love an adventure.”

  “True. Holden is no exception, and he hasn’t seen outback Australia yet.”

  “Yet?”

  “He’s from England.” Reyna gazed out over the landscape, her face serious. “I brought him back to Australia to live with me when his parents died.”

  “Oh wow,” Zoe said, searching for the right words. “That’s huge. For both of you.”

  “It has been. Hence the psychologist’s office. He’s actually doing pretty well all things considered, but I felt like he could use a bit of extra help with the emotional side of things. I guess there’s only so much you want to tell your aunty.”

  “So he lives with you? Like, all the time?”

  “Yep.”

  “You’re his parent now.”

  “Sort of. An aunty type of parent. He’s staying with my folks while I’m in Alice, but that’s why I’ve been working from home so much recently. I’ve been trying to be around more for him. It’s been a big adjustment for both of us, I guess.”

  “I didn’t know,” Zoe said lamely. Why would she have known? It wasn’t like she and Reyna had ever really had a personal conversation. “And that means you lost…”

  “My sister and brother-in-law.”

  “God, that’s awful.”

  Reyna bit her lip, her eyes far away. “It was pretty bloody awful.”

  They sat quietly together, contemplating the landscape before them.

  “So now you’re, raising Holden on your own?” Zoe asked tentatively, hoping she didn’t sound like she was prying.

  “Yes. Just me. No parenting experience, no partner, no real idea what I’m doing.”

  “I bet you’re doing great. Losing your parents is insanely hard, but he’s lucky to have you to support him.”

  Reyna glanced at Zoe. “You lost your mum a little while back, didn’t you?”

  “About a year and a half ago,” Zoe replied, surprised Reyna remembered.

  “It must have been tough.”

  “It was a bit. Things hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing for her. She had a hard life. My dad died when I was six and she had to provide for us all. It was a struggle.”

  “I can’t imagine how difficult that would have been.”

  “My brother and I didn’t really know why everything was so hard at the time. You don’t as a kid, you’re too busy thinking about yourself.”

  “I think that’s pretty natural,” Reyna said, shifting slightly so their shoulders touched.

  Zoe was instantly aware of the pressure. “I wish we had realised what was going on. We might have been able to help her.”

  “You were just a kid? What could you have done?”

  “I don’t know. Got a paper round, something. She needed help and she didn’t have it. It plays on my mind a lot,” Zoe admitted.

  “I can understand that. So you’ve lost your mum and your dad.”

  “Yeah. I guess I’m also an orphan. Just a really old one.” She cracked a lopsided smile at Reyna.

  “Well there you go. I didn’t know that.”

  “As they say, you learn something new every day,” Zoe said. “Oh, look, here it comes.”

  The first crest of the sun’s blood-red orb showed itself above a length of rocky cliff, turning the sky into a tequila sunrise. Beside Zoe, Reyna fished her mobile phone out of her pocket and stood, turning three hundred and sixty degrees as she took photos to get the full effect. Zoe merely let her eyes record the event, having done the same thing herself the previous morning. Photographs didn’t do it justice, though.

  She gazed at Reyna, her edges blurred against the sunrise. Reyna’s hair, now fully dried, curled softly around her ears, tucked into her puffer jacket which was still zipped up to her chin against the chill of the morning. Zoe rubbed her arm, sure the skin still tingled from where they had touched earlier. She wished she could reach out and pull Reyna gently back onto the seat, wrap an arm around her, and kiss her. As if sensing the gaze, Reyna turned, her face an unforgettable picture of serenity against the riot of the sky.

  “What is it? Is something wrong?”

  “Everything is perfect,” Zoe murmured. “I’m just admiring the sunrise.”

  Reyna considered her for a moment, her da
rk eyes opaque. Then, she slowly turned back to the sunrise.

  Zoe hadn’t realised she was holding her breath, letting it out now with a quiet sigh. Her resolution to focus on anything but Reyna appeared to have taken a dive.

  Reyna settled back on the bench seat and they watched the colours fade almost as quickly as they had appeared. Within ten minutes the oranges and reds had been replaced with a warm yellow light.

  “We should probably head back,” Reyna said, rubbing her neck and stretching. “I’m presenting this afternoon, and I should go over my presentation before the day gets started.”

  “For sure.” Zoe kicked out her feet and jumped up. “Hang on to my arm. It will be slippery on the way down the hill.”

  “Thanks.” Reyna took the proffered arm and they headed down, Zoe choosing their path carefully in deference to Reyna’s unsuitable shoes.

  At the bottom they retrieved their helmets and slipped them on.

  “Argh,” Reyna exclaimed in frustration. “What’s wrong with this thing? Why can’t I make the clips work?”

  “Here, let me help. It’s hard when you can’t see what you’re doing.”

  Once again, Zoe took the ends and clipped them together. Her hands hovered under Reyna’s chin. There was a thin, pale scar on the edge of her jaw that Zoe had never noticed before. She ran her thumb lightly across it. The air around them seemed to stand still.

  “What’s this scar from?” she said, her voice sounding husky to her own ears.

  “Would you believe I fell off my tricycle when I was four?”

  “I kinda would, yeah.”

  Zoe studied Reyna from under her lashes, her thumb still tracing the tiny scar. “You’re so very beautiful.” Her heart was hammering in her chest. Slowly, holding Reyna’s eyes with her own, she leant forward and brushed her lips over Reyna’s. She was almost shocked by the soft velvet. An arc of electricity jumped between them, heat immediately coursing through Zoe’s body.

  And then Reyna broke away, taking a step backward, her fingers nervously skating over the strap of her helmet as if to check that it was fastened.

  “Zoe, I—”

  “Of course, no, I know,” Zoe jumped in, cutting her off before she could say whatever dreadful words she had ready. Zoe turned away, busying herself with unlocking their bikes. “We best get going if we want to make it back in time for breakfast.”