Keep Me Wanting

by Angela Addams

  I’m alone. Again.

  “Why’d you do it, then?” It’s barely a whisper, something I have to force out. “And don’t say it was to protect me from your brother.”

  “From the moment I saw you, I knew you weren’t like other girls I’ve known. When you agreed to let me come here with you, it was like a dream, a fantasy where I could be someone I’m not, just for a little while. You didn’t judge me for the shitty parts of my life, you seemed to accept me for who I am, and…I guess I just wanted an escape for a while. Being with you, even though it was only for a short time, well, it’s been amazing.”

  He turns to go, and I finally unfreeze, taking a step toward him. “That’s it? You’re just leaving now?” I know I sound pathetic. I hear my voice crack, and I curse myself for it. The truth is I don’t want him to leave even if he’s not the person I thought he was.

  He stops and turns to face me, and his eyes close for a second before he speaks again. “I need you to do something for me. It’s important.”

  “What?” The look in his eyes is haunting. Like whatever it is is something he has to do, not something he wants to do.

  “I need you to tell your dad something for me, word for word. But not until breakfast, okay?”

  I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

  “Tell him that the tip he’s been looking for is in his car and that he’s got until noon to collect.”

  He waits for me to nod that I understand and will deliver. I do, and I will.

  He smiles, quickly, just a flash.

  Then he walks out, and I’m left staring at the door wondering what the fuck is going on and why the hell it feels so awful when he was only ever supposed to be my five-minute boyfriend.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Liam

  My house in Gardner was paid for in cash and is off the books, so to speak, where the family is concerned. Mac knows where it is because he kept an eye on it while I was in prison, but otherwise no one else knows it even exists. As much as it’s killed me to live under the same roof as my asshole of a brother for the last four months, I knew if he caught a whiff of my cottage, as I like to call it, he’d figure out some way to commandeer it.

  It takes me two hours to get to Gardner from Lennox, which costs me an assload in cab fare, but I was looking for anonymity, which I couldn’t get from a rideshare, and my cars are all parked at the cottage. More luxuries that Shawn knows nothing about. As the cab slows to a crawl, we turn down a ravaged old dirt road, and I can tell the driver is having some second thoughts about what he agreed to.

  I slip three hundreds over the seat and point up the road. “It’s a mile in that direction.” And I ain’t walking.

  As much as I didn’t hate the wilderness walks that Maggie and I took, this trek would have me covered in mud and eaten alive by bugs. The forest surrounding my cottage is dense and hostile—animals, critters, jutting branches, and very little light penetration—and it’s the least likely place for an aimless wanderer to stumble upon.

  You’d never realize that beyond the thick brush and trees, on the other side of the large panel of forest, is a three-acre clearing with a house that takes your breath away. Trust me, it did the first time I saw it.

  About ten years before I landed in jail, a guy I knew needed to unload his property rapidly. He offered me a sweet deal that I couldn’t turn down. Almost all of the money I’d made at that point got funneled into buying this place, and I don’t regret it for one second, despite the fact that we’re still talking seven figures. The cottage is my equity. I thought it would be my future. But fate is a fickle fucker at the best of times.

  “Stop here.” I point to the small grassy turn around that’s nestled in between a few trees. “I’ll walk.”

  The cab driver looks around with uncertainty. “You sure, man? There’s nothing here but trees and shit.”

  “I’ve got a place near here. No worries.”

  “A cabin in the woods, eh? You like to hunt?” He pulls into the grassy area and stops the car.

  “Yeah, something like that. Thanks for the lift.” I slip him another fifty for the trouble.

  He nods his thanks. “No problem, man.”

  I get out and wait for him to back the car up, making sure that he disappears down the dirt driveway back toward the road before I start walking.

  It’s dark as fuck outside, no lanterns lighting the way up the driveway, no moonlight getting past the canopy of trees that jut up into the black sky. It’s gloomy and foreboding, but that’s kind of the point. It’s the seclusion that drew me here in the first place. Nestled in the trees, the house is hidden away so that you wouldn’t have a clue it’s here if you didn’t already know about it. The guy I bought it from designed it himself and paid a premium to have it built in this location. It’s far enough away from Boston to dissuade drop ins and so off the grid that most of the town people in Gardner don’t even know it’s here.

  Calling it a cottage is pretentious as fuck, I know, but that’s what the previous owner called it, and in a way, it kinda resembles a cottage. It’s on a lake—man made and filtered. It’s got a fire pit for summer roast outs and a screened-in porch that wraps around the front and side… It’s also four stories, two wings, and four thousand square feet, with an indoor pool, a game room, a theater, a state of the art kitchen, and seven huge as fuck bedrooms. It’s wired for complete security, there’s even a panic suite in the basement that’s fully stocked for any kind of apocalypse, and it has wifi and satellite.

  Like I said, this was my retirement plan. Early retirement.

  I round the last bend where the gravel and dirt turn to ash vault and see my place for the first time in over four years.

  The usual lash of excitement and pride is there, but strangely, my first thought at seeing it is how much I’d love to show Maggie the place. I’m pretty sure she’d love it. And the idea of sharing it with someone is suddenly so very appealing. It’s a huge house that seems like a waste for just me.

  So yeah, that’s a total fucking downer.

  Maggie will never set foot in this place. She’ll never see me again, in fact. Better for her, better for her family. After this weekend, I’ll just be a distant memory, and so will my retirement plans.

  Mac’s got the place lit up like a hotel, with practically every light on. I pull my cell out and call his number. He picks up after the first ring.

  “I’m coming in. Don’t shoot me.” Even though I don’t carry a gun, both Ro and Mac do. A necessity, I guess, when you’re working for a man like Shawn.

  Mac meets me in the foyer, an espresso cup in his hand.

  “Ro settled in?”

  “Got him upstairs in room…” Mac rolls his eyes. “Four? Fuck, I don’t know. The blue room with the huge bathroom attached.”

  “Don’t they all have huge bathrooms attached?” I laugh. “You convince the nurse to come?”

  “I did, but I don’t think she was totally expecting how out of the way this place is. She’s nice, mostly. Dr. Betty vouches for her skill, but she seems like a ball breaker at times, too.”

  “Really?”

  Mac grunts. “Yeah. She wants a car so she can get the hell out of here if she needs to.”

  “Give her the keys to the Saab.”

  “Your Saab in the garage? The one you won’t let me drive?”

  “I don’t let you drive it because you’re brutal with machinery. Give her the keys; she needs to feel safe here. Show her the security system. Give her the codes. Dr. Betty says it’s going to be months of recovery for Ro, and we need twenty-four hour care for him up here. Don’t want this girl getting spooked.”

  “Okay, okay, got it.” He raises his free hand in surrender. “So your face the price you paid for getting Ro out of Shawn’s sight?” He scans my bruises. “You defend yourself at all?”

 
I nod, open my mouth, but close it when I hear a door shut upstairs.

  A few seconds later, a tall, dark-haired woman comes into view. Her eyes are piercing blue and aimed right at me, a grim expression on her face. “You’re the other brother, I take it?” She moves down the steps at a steady pace, no hand on the rail, no hesitation in her footing. Straight down the middle, eyes on me. “What happened to your face?”

  Her voice is stern. She’s clearly a non-nonsense kind of person.

  “I’m Liam.” I ignore her other question. “Make yourself comfortable here. Whatever you need just let Mac know. He’ll make sure you get it. There’s a car in the garage that you can use while you’re here.”

  She hits the bottom step and holds her hand out. “I’m Hailey, R.N. But I have training in physiotherapy as well and can rehab your brother once he reaches that point.”

  I close the distance and shake her hand, noting that her grip is fierce. She works with her hands a lot, not a delicate flower, I’d wager.

  “I’m pretty straight forward and all about full disclosure. I had a heavy narc addiction a few years back, got out of control, and lost my license. Dr. Betty pulled me out of the gutter and straightened me up. I’m good at what I do, really good, but I’ll understand if you don’t want me working on your brother.”

  I give her a once over, noting that her arms, while slightly scarred, are not marred with fresh tracks. Her eyes are clear and she looks healthy in general.

  “Dr. Betty vouches for you. I’m good with that.”

  She nods. “I don’t like how far out we are, but your brother gave me the wifi code, and a car will do. I’ll need spending money for town trips. There are some things I’ll need to get for myself if I’m staying here.”

  “Wasn’t that explained to you?”

  “I was told I’d be caring for a severely injured man, yes, but not in the middle of nowhere.”

  I shoot Mac a heavy glare. He shrugs then downs his coffee. “The less she knows…”

  “I’m going to ignore he just said that,” Hailey says, “and tell you that my fee has doubled and if I get a whiff of shady shit, I’m out of here.”

  Shadier than practicing nursing without a license? I laugh to myself. She’s a straight shooter, and that works for me. Ro is going to drive her insane. “Done. Give Mac an account number and the money will be wired.”

  She eyes me up and down, crossing her arms. “Betty speaks highly of you,” she says. “That counts for a lot in my books.”

  I nod. “She speaks highly of you, too. That counts for everything in mine.”

  She purses her lips, scrutinizing me for a moment, her eyes taking in my battle scars.

  “You want me to take a look at your face? Your eyes are a little glazed, could have a concussion.”

  I wave her off. “I’m fine, just tired.”

  She nods then turns and starts back up the stairs. “I’ve assessed your brother and have a recovery plan.”

  She’s obviously expecting me to follow.

  “If you don’t mind, Hailey, I need to speak with Mac privately, and then I think we all need to get some rest. We’ll touch base in the morning if that suits you.”

  She looks at me over her shoulder, an eyebrow cocked in such a way that I almost rethink what I’ve just said.

  “That’s fine. I’ve set up a bed in Ronan’s room so I can tend to him when he wakes.”

  I look at Mac, and he shrugs. “There’s a pull-out couch in that room, and she insisted.”

  “See you in the morning,” Hailey says over her shoulder.

  “I’m not joking about getting some rest,” I say to Mac as we watch Hailey continue up the stairs.

  He doesn’t reply until she’s around the corner. “You know I have to get back.” He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “The sooner I’m in Boston, the better. This deal is going to go down, and then I’m dishing Shawn some justice, brother style.”

  “No, you’re not.” I hold my hand up for him to let me finish. “I’m going back. You’re staying here.”

  “Oh, hell no!” He cracks his knuckles. “I’ve been putting up with his shit for too long. You know he would brag about sending you away? He knew what you sacrificed for him and that you’d never snitch on him. He’d do it again to keep his sorry ass out of jail. And now this with Ro? Shawn could have killed him!”

  I shush him, motioning to lower his voice, and wave toward the den. I get what he’s feeling, I do, but this is a non-negotiable for me. No matter what I agreed to with Shawn, Mac isn’t stepping foot inside that warehouse again.

  He storms ahead of me, unlit cigarette in his mouth, grumbling the entire way.

  “I’ve got something in play.” I hesitate, not sure how much to tell him. I just need him to understand why he can’t go back.

  “With the detective?” Mac opens the window and sits on the sill, lighter in hand. “Because that’s the play I would make.” He lights his cigarette and takes a drag, letting it out slowly.

  I’m surprised and a little alarmed. “Am I that transparent?” Maybe I’ve lost some of my stealth in prison or maybe I’ve underestimated how cunning my brother can be.

  “Nah, man, I just know you’re feeling the same way I am right about now. Enough is enough. Shawn needs a lesson, a hard one, or someone is going to die, and with the way he works, we all know it won’t be him.” Mac takes another drag, blows it out slowly. “You had to go back to the resort. I figured you had something in the works there.”

  I slump into the nearest chair, suddenly feeling exhausted. My face hurts, and my knuckles are stiff. “I left the detective a gift. Whether he finds it in time is up to him, but if he does…”

  “Well, I hope your gift is easy to understand because cops are stup—”

  “Mac,” I sigh. “Detective Chandler isn’t stupid. He knows what really happened four years ago, knows that I went away for Shawn.” I lift my hand. “I didn’t tell him shit, either. He just knew like he’s some detective wizard or something. I left him a tip that he’ll find by morning. If Detective Chandler figures it out, he’ll do what needs to get done, and he’ll make sure it doesn’t trace back to me or Maggie. Which is why you’re not going back.”

  He puffs away for a minute, totally focused on blowing smoke out the window. “You’re trying to spare me, right?” He turns to look at me finally. “Because Shawn’s deal is going to go sideways with the cops busting down the door and you don’t want me caught up in it?”

  I nod. “I’ll tell Shawn that I needed you with Ro. He doesn’t have to know about Hailey. You guys lay low here until Ro is well, then you can get out of here. I’ve transferred some money into an offshore for both of you. You’ll be set up for a while.”

  “And what?” He flicks the butt outside and stands up. “You’ll just go away again? Taking a hit for us this time?” He scowls. “You know they’ll go heavy on sentencing. No way you’re walking out of there in less than ten.”

  “I’ll get a good lawyer.”

  “Will that detective take you down? Is that the deal you made?” Then he laughs. “What about your girl? She understand why you left?”

  “I didn’t make any deals. And no, she didn’t understand, but she did accept it. It was just a weekend thing, anyway.” I rub my hand over my face and push myself up. Fuck, I hated walking out on Maggie. “Pour me a shot, would ya?” I feel a headache coming on.

  “Just a thing for the weekend?” Mac snorts. “Even I don’t believe that.” He moves to the bar and pours us both a healthy shot of whiskey.

  I take it as he walks past me and down it immediately. The heat rushes to my gut, burning my throat in a way only good whiskey can do. That’s the way it has to be. It started as a weekend thing, and maybe it became something more, but that was a fantasy. Thinking I could keep her was just foolish.

 
He perches himself at the window again. “You’ve got unfinished business with her, don’t you?”

  I shake my head and stand. My back hurts, and my legs are sore, my face aching. “Nah, it’s over. She doesn’t want to see me again, anyway.”

  “You tell her what’s going on?”

  “No, but I did tell her who I am. Who I really am.”

  “That didn’t go over well, I take it?”

  “Nah.” I laugh, but it’s a bitter laugh that sounds more like a bark and hurts my chest in the strangest way because it wasn’t just that I’m an ex-con but that I’m the ex-con that’s fucked up her family life for years. She knows the significance of being a Doyle, and she knows why I’m bad news. Our families are tied together, just not in the way that I really want them to be. Brushing this off isn’t easy. Turning my back on Maggie isn’t what I want. Letting her down is killing me. But it’s the right thing to do.

  “You know, Liam, I always looked up to you. When you went to prison and you kept your mouth shut, I knew that took huge balls. I knew that you could have made your life easier if you’d snitched, turned on us, but you didn’t. You did the time. You suffered there, and now this ungrateful fuck is going to do it to you again. I don’t care that you’re the one setting this up so he goes away. It isn’t fair that you take the hit, too.” Mac shakes his head. “I’m not going to let you do it. I’m going back. You’re going to the resort. You owe your girl the rest of the weekend, and Shawn is expecting me.”

  “No.”

  “Liam, think about it. If the plan changes, even a little bit, Shawn will be suspicious as fuck. You know he’s got someone watching the detective, right? Shawn has a guy there keeping tabs on the family and on you. He knew the second you left the resort to meet me at Dr. Betty’s. He knows you left there to come here.” He looks at me expectantly.

  Fuck. Of course he does. Of course he’s got someone keeping an eye on things. That’s how he knows who Maggie is.

  I walk to the window and look outside but can’t see anything beyond the circle of light cast by the porch. Shawn never trusted me to be loyal. Strangely, after everything, that hurts a lot. I’ve done so much to prove myself to my brother, sacrificed myself and my life in huge ways, and yet he still doesn’t trust me to protect the family. He probably sent one of his guys up the same day I left with Maggie, and I’m pissed that I didn’t realize we were being watched. I’d been so damn distracted. Too distracted.