Awakening

by Hayden Pearton

  *

  The emptiness of this place always amazes me. Before the multi-coloured orbs appear, with their beautiful radiance, this place is devoid of light. The void calls to me, it calls to my soul.

  It tells me, “This is the world. This is existence. We are born from the void, and we will return to it, when our time comes. Life means nothing to the void. Hope, fears, anger, sorrow, pain, rage... everything is swallowed by the infinite, endless void. Before the first stars dared to shine, the void was there... and when the last wink out in silence, the void will be there also. Oblivion comes to all, and in the end, everything is returned to the void. In the end, it matters not what you did in life, the only thing that matters... is what you do next... The void is the beginning, and the end, but nothing lasts forever, not even eternity...”

  The void tells me these things, and I feel despair. I curse the gods who made this unfair reality... and I curse myself for being powerless to change it. But then, when it feels as though my life in meaningless, the spheres appear. Like stars in the sky, they burn with an uncontested intensity, bathing my soul in light and warmth. The void is chased away by the light, burned away by its unending power.

  Letting the void go is always hard... much harder than it should be. Each time it goes, a small piece of my soul goes with it. Stepping forward, I let a green-blue sphere form around me. The dreamsphere expands, enveloping my cold body. The aqua coloured orb brings warmth, and peace. Letting all thoughts of the void, of the sea of spheres, fade, I close my eyes.

  And awaken in the glade. I have been here so many times, seen this image over and over, leaving it imprinted in my mind. I know every leaf, every blade of grass, as if they were a part of my own body, so I know immediately that something is wrong. She is missing. The Girl with Violet Eyes is missing. In her place, at the centre of the glade, stands a man.

  I know him, yet he is a stranger to me. He stands confidently, back turned towards me, as if he does not even care that I am here. His hair is white, but not a gentle, ivory like Hers, but a harsh, sanitized white. He is slightly shorter than me, but his chest is wider, his back broader. I have seen him many times before, and in all those times, I have never seen him show me an ounce of kindness. I can almost feel it emanating from him... darkness.

  The irony of his white podsuit, with its angelic aura, is not lost on me. On anyone else, such garments would be seen as vanity, but I know, that he wears them because he is an angel... an angel of death.

  I take a step forward, the anger already rising in my chest. How dare he defile this place! This sacred place. He is corrupting it, with his fake presence! He turns. He has finally noticed me. I can already tell that he sees me as a pest... a bug that has overstepped its bounds. Still, the rage in my heart builds, but something else has begun to fester: fear.

  I can sense it, even in a dream, he is far stronger than me. Power radiates from him like the rays of light from a star, but he is no star. He is darkness given flesh. He has now turned to face me, staring at me with those horrifying crimson eyes. He is like Her, but twisted, made impure. Wherever She is good, he is bad. Her apathetic eyes, which hide so much pain and uncertainty, could not be more different from his cold, merciless gaze. Where she pretends not to care, he shows open disgust.

  I hate him.

  I hate everything about him. I do not even know his name, but I despise him.

  He stands for everything that She is not, and I know, that he can't stand it. “It is such a pity, don't you think?” Even his voice irks me. It's too perfect, too practised. He speaks as if he learnt how to speak from a machine.

  “You are so weak... so powerless... and yet... still she stays with you!” The detested man with crimson eyes still has not moved. Above him, the sky has become blood red.

  “Wait... I understand now! She is a defect, and so are you! Such a sweet tale, don't you think? Two little failures, travelling together, protecting each other, loving each other! Is that what you want? But that will never happen. She will never, love you... she doesn't know how, you see. She is a failure, and she will die a failure.”

  I want to speak, I want to tell him that he is wrong, but the rage and fear in my heart have begun fighting, and it takes all of my strength just to keep them at bay. “Are you confused, human? Have you asked why I can talk to you like this? We are connected, didn't you know? One bond of blood, one of desperation, together they bind us for eternity!”

  At last, the chaos in my chest has quietened, giving me a chance to speak. I open my mouth, and let out a long, guttural howl. Taking a step with my left paw, I begin to growl. My mane is ruffled by an unseen gust, which carries the fragrant scent of moonflowers, my mother's favourites.

  I turn my head, searching for them. They litter the glade, their snow-white petals opening to the light of the newly risen moon.

  “What is going on? Where did you go!” The man with crimson eyes smells confused. I can sense his unease, and I revel in the feeling. I have become the Beast, and it has made me strong. Another step forward, and he takes a step back. He is afraid of me, of what I have become.

  I feel the roar now, the cry for carnage that has always lain dormant in my mind. Another step forward, and another back. He has almost reached the edge of the glade. I howl once more, letting him hear the blood-lust in my voice.

  I raise my hand, palm upwards. Drawn to the violence, Lanista manifests in my open hand. He is almost gone, but I will send a message, so that next time, he will not be so brave. I dive for his throat, my steel teeth aching to taste his blood, while the blade in my hand screams for flesh. He flees, cursing my name with every step.

  Once more I am alone. Once more, I can feel the void closing in. It Is there, at every beginning, and at every end. However, I know now, that no matter how powerful the void is, no matter how vast its scope, in the end, it is only emptiness. And emptiness will never defeat the Beast...