*
Meanwhile, a few feet away, Barsch was troubled. He sat beside their impromptu fire, roasting several tins worth of various foods on a long make-shift spit. It was a boring yet mindless task, which allowed his thoughts to drift elsewhere, with elsewhere being Alza in this case. It was infuriating, that he should have to tip-toe around her like this. All he wanted was for things to go back to how they had been before, when Alza had at least met his stare with cool apathy, instead of acting as though he no longer existed. “This has to stop. I have to find out why she’s suddenly acting like this, before it gets any worse.”
Mustering his courage, Barsch began to rise. Mercifully, his unsteady legs bore his weight, allowing him to nervously saunter over to Alza. Despite her obvious ‘Do not disturb’ aura, Barsch let his legs collapse as gracefully as he could manage, lowering himself down to her level.
Before he could get his first question out, however, Alza struck, “What do you want?”
Her tone was icy, but Barsch had been expecting it, and had already prepared a come-back, “Um... I just wanted to let you know that supper will be ready in a few minutes...”
Alza’s blank stare was his only reply. Feeling dejected and ashamed, Barsch began to get up, his questions about her strange behaviour already fading from his mind. But, as he was just about to leave, something made him stop. It was a voice -a callous voice filled with accusation- that began to berate him for his failure.
Using his own words, it told him, “Is that it? Is that the best you can do? What happened to the fearless warrior who fought a pack of cóyotl and survived? Where is the man who has crossed mountains and deserts to find the truth? You are a coward, Barsch La Tergan, and that means that I am a coward... and I hate cowards. If you fear the unknown so much, then find out what lies in the darkness. If the night scares you, then burn it away with the light! Do not fear what this woman will say, only fear what will happen if you never ask.”
The mental exchange took only a second, though that was all it took. When Barsch lowered his body back down to the floor, he was a different man. His confidence may have been only temporary, but he was not going to waste it.
“Alza, why have you been avoiding me? I mean, more so than usual?”
If his sudden change in attitude had surprised her, she did not show it, although Barsch could have sworn that her left eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch in incredulity. Taking a moment to rearrange herself so that she was facing him properly, she calmly replied, “I have not been avoiding you any more than normal. And, for that matter, I do not recall ever having expressed a desire to speak with you. It was always you who imposed yourself on me, not the other way around. Perhaps you should have the re-mech examine your head for brain damage, as I can think of no other reason as to why you would suddenly be bothered by my interactions with you, or lack thereof.”
Still fuelled by his unfounded confidence, Barsch pressed on, “I don’t believe you. Sure, I may have made a nuisance out of myself a few times, but I also helped you on more than one occasion. And, by the way, I don’t need you, or anyone, to protect me!” Barsch stopped, wondering where that last declaration had come from.
He looked up, seeing if Alza had noticed his confusion, only to find her looking more perplexed than he felt. When Alza spoke then, Barsch truly thought that he heard her voice tremble as she replied, “Protect you? How do you... I, do not know what you mean...”
It was the first time Barsch had ever seen Alza so flustered; it was unnerving, but at the same time... nice. “Um, forget what I said, it was just something that came to me. But, the words just feel so familiar, as if I was merely remembering something someone told me... Maybe I heard them when I was unconscious?”
It was a thought that had just occurred to him, and it was one that he had never considered before: had Alza spoken to him when he was injured? It was more than unlikely, but her reaction to his words... Still, he needed more proof, and her reaction to his latest theory might help him to make up his mind.
“Why, why do you think that? Is it not more likely that you overheard someone else say... those words? Or perhaps you remembered something from your childhood?” Alza had recovered from her shock, but she had still not returned to her normally composed and collected state.
“Well, you see, ever since I got out of that cryogenic pod, the second time I mean, I’ve been having... flashbacks? But instead of pictures, I get snippets of sound... things like, people talking, and rain falling...”
Barsch felt his back convulse at the mention of rain, his trauma still too recent for his mind to ignore. He could still vividly remember the sensation of the burning raindrops, each impact sending a wave of pain which raced from bent head to curled toes. Whenever he moved, he felt the new skin on his back and neck recoil, as the new nerves adjusted and recalibrated.
It was a miracle, his abnormal recovery: from comatose and near death to up and walking in just a few days. Any scientist on the planet –if there had been any still awake- would have carted him off to a top secret laboratory and studied him until he found the reason for his rapid recovery. Suddenly, Barsch realized that he his mind had been drifting, and he hurriedly snapped back to the conversation. He expected to see an annoyed Alza staring at him, or perhaps hear a lecture on paying attention to people when they’re talking, especially when it was he who had approached her.
What he saw next was what he had never expected: Alza looking away, seemingly also lost in thought. Her reaction when she realised that he was waiting for her to speak mirrored his earlier panic, and she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly as she fought for something to say.
Finally, with an air of irritation and annoyance, that Barsch believed was created in order to hide her embarrassment, she sternly said, “Well... you were unconscious at the time, so maybe these snippets of sound are just figments of your own imagination. I do not speak for the old hermit or the re-mech, but I absolutely did not talk to you when you were out, nor did I mention anything about... protecting anyone.”
“I never said that you...” he tried to say, before she cut him off with, “You have your answer, now please leave me and return to watching the food.”
Before Barsch could get another word in, Alza had turned away, her aura of solitude returning with a vengeance. Barsch could only shake his head in amazement, before quickly returning to the impromptu spit.
“It is impossible,” Alza thought, as she watched Barsch out of the corner of her eye, “There is no way he could have heard me... although, those words... Perhaps Ion appeared to him as well, and told him what she told me? No, that is rather unlikely. Ion never said that I could not tell him, but she did seem to indicate that he was to be left in the dark... and, so what if he remembers what I said? I mean... whether he remembers or not, it does not make any difference. But, if that is true, then why did I lie?”
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