*
Meanwhile, back in the real world, strange things were happening. Less than an hour after the group fell asleep, the wall of ç'aether began to respond. From the solid crystal, tendrils emerged, which snaked down towards the unguarded occupants below. One by one, the tendrils made contact with their targets, each striking in the same place: the heart. Through these tendrils, energy began to flow, as the life-force was extracted by the probes.
However, in one of the tendrils, something strange had occurred. The flow of energy, which should have been from person to crystal, had been reversed. The redirected energy was thus channelled back into the unconscious person, who bore the name Barsch La Tergan. In response to this counter-attack, several small cracks appeared in the ç'aether's main body. In an effort to maintain a positive accumulation, the flow of energy in the other three tendrils increased dramatically, which had further ramifications in the world unseen...
I AM NOT-
What was I saying? No matter, it probably wasn't that important anyway. “Kingston! Where are you?” The voice belongs to Lieutenant Nathan Black, a friend and fellow soldier who has just one goal in this war: return home and get married to his sweetheart.
And yes, I laughed at him when he first told me, convinced that he was trying to pull my leg. But in the weeks and months since we first met, he has proved to be one of the most honest people I've ever encountered. Instead of dressing this war up with pretty words about duty and honour, he tells us, his squad, the truth, that this war is nothing more than a petty squabble over the last few acres of habitable land.
In the years since the now famous Creed Event, the land has been slowly and irreversibly dying. At first, it wasn't a major concern, as the planet was huge and there was always somewhere to escape to, but now, as the last vestiges of life are removed from the planet’s surface, people are getting desperate.
Instead of safeguarding what little remains, the leaders of the world spend all of their time and resources on trying to hoard land that does not belong to them. And here we are, on a dusty little strip of land, fighting for one of these vestiges. I don't even know the name of the enemy, or the name of the place we're fighting over.
It's been like this ever since I joined, just go there, kill some innocent men, and then it's off to the next place. The other soldiers here do not seem terribly concerned with the lack of information, but, unlike Nathan's vibrant eyes, theirs are blank and empty. This war has already killed them, all that’s left is for them to realize it.
“Ah! There you are. Listen, Command has just sent down new orders. We are to mobilize and head to Sector Delta-Nine, where we will rendezvous with the other squads for a full assault on the enemy position.”
I have lost so many friends in this war, it's getting hard to keep track, but I already know that I will never forget Nathan. “Hey, Kingston, is everything alright? You look a little pale.”
I reassure him that I am fine, before following him to the transport. Inside, my companions stare at the dead scenery outside with a mix of resentment and apathy. This land is already dying, and there is nothing we can do about it. Even if we were to succeed in our mission and capture the enemy's position, what is the point? Sooner or later, it too will be lost to the unending tide of devastation.
I AM NOT-
My vision blurs, as an image appears in my mind. A strange, light filled cave, in which four people are sleeping peacefully. This is... a dream? In a flash they disappear: Nathan, the transport, the dead-lands, everything.
Time skips, as I try to make sense of what I'm seeing. This is a dream, and I am not... something is wrong.
Fast-forward.
The aftermath of the assault. Chaos reigns, as men cry out for a merciful death. They knew we were coming. They were ready. We stood no chance against them. Over eighty-thousand men, lying dead in the sun.
I am alive. Somehow, I am alive. I try to move, but something is pressing me down. A body. A mound of bodies. I remember now. I was supposed to draw the enemies’ fire, so that my squad could retreat. But I failed them... I failed Him. I search for it, his body. Nathan was the first to go down, trying to shield us all from the roaring gunfire. He looked... sad... disappointed... ashamed... I failed him... I failed them all.
And now, I AM ALONE.
I can still hear their cries of pain and regret, as they cursed my name with their last breaths.
“No, remember it clearly. Remember what they said.”
Who is that? Is someone still alive? With a strength I had thought gone, I manage to climb out of the pile. A few feet away, sitting calmly on an upturned boulder, is a boy. I know him, and he knows me. For an instant, time slows as two Kingstons stare each other down.
I break first, and he says, “You can't protect everyone, you know? You couldn't save them all, and they knew that. They never intended to let you die in their place... you, the youngest among them.”
No. They hated me. “They did not hate you... they loved you, and wanted to keep you safe. Think. Remember. Relive what really happened.”
The assault was failing, and we were being ordered to fall back. I tried to act as a decoy for the retreat, but Nathan pulled me back. They had already figured it out, that either none survived, or one. I was that one.
Why? Love? Pity? Luck? I will never know. Together, they formed a wall around me, a living shield. And then, they fell, one by one, each with a smile upon his face. Nathan, Leon, Vincent, Damien, Sylvester, Tank, Blackjack. My friends, my family, dying so that I could live.
“You cannot protect everyone, but you can protect those precious few who believe in you. And, remember this, you are never alone. If you cannot protect them by yourself, ask for help, and others will answer. You have friends, more than you can count, who want to help and care for you. And, above all, never forget why you are fighting. Never forget why you need to protect them... why you need to protect Him.”
I know now. I fight for the future. I fight... for my sins to be forgiven. I fight, so that my mistakes might be undone. I fight, so that they don't have to.
Nathan, my squad, father, mother, Professor Valmann, Barsch, Maloch... even Alza... they are all precious to me, and I will protect them, even in death. But they will protect me too, because, even if I forget sometimes, and even if I don't know it, I AM NOT ALONE.
Awakening Page 206