*
Meanwhile, back at the make-shift camp, Maloch and Alza were sitting in silence. The re-mech, after dutifully helping Alza to start the fire, now sat in quiet dignity. Alza, on the other hand, was feeling uneasy. Ever since their discovery of the hidden camera, she had been thinking about the madman. She still knew so little about the man who wanted to destroy humanity, and the fact that she had known him -the chances that her bangle, his camera and his supposed home were not connected were so unlikely that it did not even bear thinking about- caused her to rethink her original goals.
What if she had been a part of his plan? What if she had been unknowingly working for him the whole time? Had she, by wanting to return to this place and find out the truth, placed Barsch and the others in danger?
“Miss Alza, I know that this is rude, but may I ask you a question?”
Alza was immediately snapped out of her musings by the re-mech's gentle voice. “Yes, that's fine. Ask,” she said, curious as to what the re-mech would say.
When last they had spoken, it had been after the fight with the wolf. Since then, they had only spoken in passing, and otherwise avoided one another out of mutual respect, although in Alza's case it was more due to her generally apathetic mood.
“I was just wondering, what do you plan to do afterwards?”
“Afterwards?”
“Ah, forgive my ambiguity. I meant, what do you plan to do after the madman has been stopped?”
Once more, Alza let her thoughts wash over her. With her recent discovery of the possibility that she might be connected to the madman, she had been forced to re-evaluate her plans after his defeat. Still, there was no reason to tell Maloch this, or anything at all, for that matter. If she so wished, she could order the re-mech to never speak to her again.
It would be a simple thing, far easier than having to divulge all of her worries and concerns. But, when looking at the re-mech's face, it became harder and harder to lie to him. Maloch was helpfulness incarnate, ever loyal, and willing to die in order to protect his masters, so deceiving him just felt... wrong. Instead -and partially surprising herself- she answered him truthfully.
“I used to think that if I couldn't find my past here, from the madman, I would simply move on. I would continue to search for my real identity, until I found it, or perished. But now... I'm not so sure. What about you, re-mech, what will you do?”
She had been expecting him to say that he would return to being a mindless builder, just like how he had been when she had first met him. However, his honest answer surprised her.
“I want to find a place... where I can be free.”
“Free?” she said, with incredulity.
“Yes. While travelling with you, Barsch and Kingston, I have seen and done more than I ever thought possible. I have made my own decisions, and begun feeling things that I was sure I would never feel. If not for the damage I suffered the day I met you, I would still be a mindless machine, toiling away with no hope.”
It was then that Alza realised that Maloch knew the truth. “How long have you known? That I was the one who almost destroyed you.”
Maloch leant forward, a thoughtful look somehow conveyed through his golden, glowing eyes. “For quite some time now. At first, I was angry, and then I was scared, and finally, I felt complacent. Because, before that, I could never have felt anger, or fear, or peace. The thing that kept me a slave, even when there were no chains, was the programming embedded in my Emotion Engine. But, through some luck or twist of fate, your attack damaged the circuits that monitored my emotions. In a way, I have you to thank for freeing me. And once I began feeling emotions, I realized that I would not, could not, go back to how I was before. And so, since I do not wish to create another rebellion, I have decided instead to find a place where I can be free.”
“I see. I appear to have misjudged you, Maloch. Although I do not yet know what I will do after this is all over, I hope that you find what you are looking for.”
Just then, Barsch and Kingston returned, each bearing a sizeable assortment of fish. In minutes, the fish had been expertly prepared and cooked, with Barsch tending the food under the watchful eye of Kingston. They eat in silence, but unlike the usual ‘hard’ silence, this quiet atmosphere was born out of a sense of peace and relaxation.
Although they all knew that they would soon have to face their respective fears, in addition to confronting the mysterious madman, for that time, for those precious few minutes... there were no worries. Barsch and Kingston both wore smiles for the first time in what had seemed like forever, and their playfulness seemed to lift Alza's mood: from cold apathy to lukewarm apathy, which was still a huge change. Nearby, the oddly-shaped hill had finally stopped producing smoke, but they no longer needed the black plume to find their way. They all knew exactly where they were going.
Awakening Page 216