Chapter XVII: Mindmeld
In which two hearts become one...
When Alza opened her eyes, she was in a different place. Darkness stretched for as far as she could see, from horizon to horizon. At first, Alza thought that she had somehow ended up outside, and that the night sky was the cause of the darkness. But that was not the case, as she quickly realised. This place had no sky, no stars, no end. It was simply an eternal void, in which nothing living could survive. Somehow, her one-in-a-million chance of a plan had worked. She had entered Barsch's fractured mind, and could now begin the process of repairing it.
A slight glimmer in the darkness above made her look up. Up above -although direction had little meaning in this place- a single, glass-like shard was tumbling through the air. Trailing lazily behind it were several more of its kin, like a slow moving river of broken glass. The shards, at first glance, looked simple, but a closer observation revealed that each was a multi-coloured spectacle of constantly changing images. Even from a distance, Alza could make some of them out.
There, spinning end over end, was a single violet eye. Three feet from it was a snarling wolf. And directly above it was a portion of their frantic escape from Carçus. They were, quite simply, the fragmented remains of Barsch's memories. Still hanging in the air, several feet above the memory river, were several transparent orbs of varying sizes and colours. They too were fractured, although these looked as if they had held together a bit better than the memories. As she watched, a large crack appeared in the nearest sphere, which quickly grew to encircle the entire structure. With a sharp breaking sound, the sphere split down the middle.
Alza allowed herself to float upwards, towards the decaying orbs. One to her left, a blue and pink orb with several cracks emanating from the equator, showed an unfamiliar sight. Inside the broken sphere, a young boy was flying unsupported through a sea of golden clouds. The green and white globe to her right also showed the boy, now a young man, as he rode a strange, unearthly creature beside a glimmering lake. The rondure below her, a beautiful pearl, had the same boy, only younger, being carried in his father’s arms.
They were Barsch's dreams, Alza realized with a start. Leaving the dream layer, she allowed herself to fall backwards to the slow-moving river of memories. Falling further still, she saw something appear far below. As she drifted near, she saw that it was a road, one which lead deeper into the darkness. Touching down, she experienced a sudden wave of nostalgia. She had walked on the road before, on the way into Carçus, in a time that now seemed so long ago. With no other clues or paths, Alza began to walk down the desolate, grey road.
A few minutes -or hours; time was impossible to keep in the void- later, more structures began to appear from Barsch's memories. Half-broken glass columns from Terra's city; along with marble arches from an unknown time sprang up beside the crumbling road. Partially destroyed buildings came next, forming a street of remembrances. Alza recognized a few: the hospital they had visited in Carçus; the clinic outside which Alza had first used her powers; the pod-room from Revelation Station 52. However, some of the structures, such as a long, cylindrical building balanced on a series of tall struts; and a short, squat house on wheels had obviously been visited before the Great Sleep.
With no way to go but forward, Alza carried on walking. As she did, more and more unfamiliar buildings began to pop into existence. Some of the buildings were clear and well-defined, and consisted of ordinary things such as metal and wood, but a fair portion of the structures were barely there. Their edges were fuzzy, and their features were vague and inconsistent. Alza watched in amazement as a tall, steel-grey building shrank and grew in size, with doors and windows appearing and disappearing at random. As she was staring at the indecisive building, a number of people began pouring out of it. They were of every size and colour, sharing nothing in common, except for a single, unified expression: fear. The people were running from the building in pure, abject terror, fleeing some unknown horror within.
Seconds later, a gout of flame exploded outwards from one of the upper-level windows, followed by several loud, yet unseen, explosions. Flames began to pour from the other windows, which were still flickering between the states of existence. The people below were still fleeing, although many had stopped and turned back to stare at the devastation. Without context, the scene was meaningless to Alza, but she found that she could not help but watch.
Out of the dozens of forgettable people, Alza noticed one that stood out. He was the only one moving towards the burning building, and although Alza could not see his face, she could feel a mix of anger and panic rolling off him. The man, having finally made his way through the crowd, headed towards the entrance. Another man, dressed in what looked like an attendant’s uniform, called after the man, telling him that it was too dangerous.
The first man stopped in his tracks, and, after turning towards the attendant, coldly said, “Where is my son?” The ice in the man's voice was almost visible, as the attendant shrunk back, arms upraised in a warding gesture. Without a word, the fearful man pointed a trembling finger towards a window on the third floor of the building. The man followed the finger with his hidden eyes, and with a voice that brooked no argument, he said, “Alright, guess I better get going. Be back in a bit.” Without waiting for a reply, the man took off at a run, towards the building engulfed in flames.
Seconds passed, followed by minutes, but the strange man still did not appear. Alza knew that she could leave whenever she wanted, but a part of her desperately wanted to see the man return victorious from his endeavour. His voice sounded familiar, but she could not place it. It had Kingston's sternness, but parts of Barsch's energy and youth was mixed in, creating a wholly unique sound.
As Alza was thinking this, a tremor ran through the void, causing large chunks to fall from the memory-built buildings. Overhead, dozens of Barsch's dreams shattered simultaneously, sending hundreds of shards flying into the darkness. In the memory of the burning building, several things happened at once. The man, cloak aflame and carrying a large bundle of wrapped cloth, burst forth from the collapsing entrance. Behind him, the building gave one last death cry, before it's tortured supports gave out, sending what was left of the structure crashing to the ground. The assembled crowd rapidly dispersed, as they unanimously decided to move to a safer spot, leaving the man alone.
He stood there, in the ruins of the building, black coat on fire, face covered in ash, with a genuine smile that easily reached his eyes. With great care, he unwrapped the bundle, his deep blue eyes blazing with love. From the tangled cloths, a tiny hand emerged, followed by a thin, soot-stained arm, and lastly, a small, plump face. When Alza saw the child's eyes -a mixture of blue and green- she finally understood what she was looking at: Barsch, a mere child; and his father, who had charged into a death-trap to save his only son. A father who would give up his life for another... a father who would do anything to protect his precious child.
“If I had had a father like that... If Dr Emmerfield had felt that way towards me, would things have turned out differently? Dr Emmerfield, Kain and I... a happy, loving family? I wasn't able to experience that... but for Barsch, he still has a chance to return to where he belongs. Kain tried to take away that chance... but I will return it, even if I die.”
Like a wisp of smoke being blown away by a gentle wind, the memory faded. The last image to disappear was the frozen figures of Barsch and his father, their bond of love almost visible. As the scene disappeared, Alza felt her legs unfreeze, and she found that whatever had been keeping her rooted had vanished. With a last, lingering glance towards the space where the memory had been, she continued onwards.
Awakening Page 234