by Holly Rayner
She clucked her tongue. “I bet you didn’t even bother to check the other radio stations, did you?”
“Why would I check the other radio stations?” I furrowed my brow. “I got the message all the same.”
“I can’t believe you!” Elyse exclaimed. “I can’t even get a guy to buy me flowers, but when a foreign prince pulls the most romantic gesture I’ve ever seen, you don’t even notice.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I was scowling now and didn’t care who saw. I wished Elyse didn’t have to be so dramatic about everything. Things would be so much easier if she just got to the point.
“Jalaal didn’t just interrupt your radio station and my radio station,” Elyse said. “He paid to go on air on every radio station in San Diego.”
“W-what?” My jaw dropped, and I shook my head in disbelief. “That’s impossible.”
“Highly improbable,” she corrected. “But he did it, and he did it for you. Isn’t that amazing?”
Amazing was one way of putting it. I couldn’t believe it. The most romantic thing Sam’s dad ever did for me was buy me prenatal vitamins back before he changed his mind about wanting to have a kid. I wished I had a better frame of reference for what a loving relationship was like so I didn’t have to keep drawing comparisons from Jackson.
Or maybe I just needed to stop comparing Jalaal to Jackson, because Jalaal was beyond all comparison. I mean, who did that? Who bought airtime at every radio station in the city just to find a girl they liked?
Unless, as a part of me still feared, it was a part of some revenge game. Granted, he didn’t seem the type to play games, but I didn’t know him very well. My biggest fear was me showing up to that restaurant only for him to humiliate and reject me. Maybe in front of an audience.
I decided it was time for me to stop going over all of this in my head alone.
“Do you really think he still likes me?” I asked. “Even though I lied? Even though I didn’t tell him about Sam and then left without saying goodbye?”
Elyse snorted. “Are you kidding, Skyler? Why else would he be doing all this?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s trying to get back at me?”
I could almost hear Elyse squeeze her eyes closed in frustration. She was silent for a moment or two, gathering her thoughts, and then she let me have it.
“Why are you always so goddamn afraid to enjoy your life? What do you think is going to happen to you if you let yourself be happy?”
I gaped and rose as if I were facing her directly, when really the only thing I was facing was a bush and a distant bench.
“How could you say that to me? You know what I went through with Jackson. You know I’ve taken risks before that backfired.”
“So that’s what it is then,” she said. “It’s not just that you’re afraid of the future, but you’re still cut up from your past.”
I gasped. “Of course I am, Elyse! I barely know this guy, and I did something that hurt him. Is it so farfetched to think he might want revenge?”
“Revenge? Can you hear yourself? This isn’t a Quentin Tarantino movie!” she chastised. “I understand why you’d be skeptical of someone just wanting to be nice to you. You’ve had a rough dating past. But you’re forgetting the most important thing about your relationship with Jackson.”
“What’s that?” I was pouting now. I’d hoped that Elyse would relent and apologize for being so harsh, but I could tell she wouldn’t be satisfied until she’d won me over to her side.
“Sam.”
I froze. In an instant, I knew she was right. If I could go back and avoid having my heart broken by Jackson, would I? Absolutely not. Even if it meant having to go through all that emotional trauma again, I would always choose my precious boy.
“You’re right to be cautious about the men you bring into your life, Skyler,” Elyse continued, noting my silence. “You got hurt, and that sucks. But you got more than just hurt out of your relationship with Jackson. Every relationship has the potential for great pain and great joy. But, most importantly, they all encourage growth.”
“This is surprisingly deep coming from you, if you don’t mind me saying,” I replied.
Elyse chuckled. “I read a lot of self-help books. You’d be surprised the kind of home truths I’m packing.”
“No kidding.” I gingerly sat back down on my bench, my anger defused. I still didn’t know how to feel about everything I’d just learned, but at least I understood why Elyse had been upset with me.
Why wasn’t I more upset with myself?
“I can’t believe I’ve been living like this for the past five years,” I moaned. “What kind of opportunities have I passed up because I’ve been afraid they would turn out like Jackson?”
“Don’t think like that,” Elyse said. “That’s the same thought pattern that got you into this mess in the first place.”
“I don’t understand.” I leaned against the backrest, squaring my shoulders. “You just told me I’ve been acting like this. Now you’re telling me I haven’t?”
She hit me with a breathy sigh. “Think a little bigger, Skyler,” she prompted. “Apply the same logic I applied to your relationship with Jackson to your fear of putting yourself out there.”
I took a moment to think about it, trying to figure out what magic phrase she was trying to get me to compose. Then it hit me.
“The fact that I haven’t let anyone in still sucks,” I said, “but there’s no use agonizing over my mistakes because I now have an opportunity to do something amazing?”
“Thank God you got that without me having to explain it to you,” Elyse said. “I swear, girl, you know way more than me about most things—I still can’t do my own taxes, even. But when it comes to relationships, you’re a little stunted.”
“Okay, okay. I get it.” I glowered at the plant in front of me. “No need to rub it in.”
“Sorry.”
She didn’t sound very sorry. I wondered how long she’d been waiting to say all this to me.
“So, you’re going to go to the dinner?”
A small smile played at the edges of my mouth. “I guess I am, yeah.”
“Good. I gotta get back to work, but call me if you start having doubts again.”
I promised her I would and hung up, butterflies crashing around my ribcage like ricocheting bullets. My small smile evolved into a broad grin, and I went back to work practically whistling.
All I wanted was for Jalaal to be in my life. I’d been so afraid to want it before that I’d stopped myself from thinking about it any time I could. It was scary, wanting somebody so badly. There was so much potential for pain.
But now I allowed myself to think about him as much as I wanted. And I wanted to think about Jalaal a lot. I thought about how beautiful his eyes were, how the sound of his voice sent velvet shivers up my spine. I thought about how I felt when he touched me. I thought about how much I missed him, even though it had only been a couple days since I’d left his hotel.
I doubted I would ever find another guy I adored as much as Jalaal. And I would see him tonight. And he—hopefully—wanted to see me too. For more than just revenge.
Chapter 14
The rest of the day went by like slow-moving sand. Jalaal was all I could think about. I had to remind myself not to smile when I gave patients bad news or pricked them with needles. I raced home as fast as I could once I was done.
My dad was home, babysitting Sam for me. Which reminded me… Crap! I’d forgotten to tell him about Jalaal’s message. I hoped my dad didn’t have any other plans that evening, otherwise I was going to have to frantically search for a babysitter.
“Dad!” I cried, shooting down the hall.
“Mommy!” Sam attached himself to me like plastic wrap.
“Skyler!” Dad looked up at me over his reading glasses from his seat on the couch. He grinned. “I heard a message for you on the radio this morning. You must be so excited.”
I
nodded, thanking my lucky stars that he already knew, and didn’t seem annoyed. “Excited. Nervous. Terrified.”
“All completely normal.”
“Can you watch Sam for a few more hours?” I asked, clasping my hands before me. “Pretty please?”
He smiled and closed the book in his lap. “Of course I can, pumpkin. I figured I would be. I’ve already got dinner for us in the oven.”
“We’re having lasagna!” Sam declared, and my heart filled with warmth.
“Thank you so much, Dad!” I ginned. I patted Sam on the head and smiled down at him. “I’ve got to go get ready for a date, Sammy. Think you can let Mommy go?”
He pressed a kiss against my hip and released me. “Grandpa said I could stay up watching TV until you get home.”
I raised an inquisitive brow at my dad, who merely shrugged. I didn’t have time to chastise either of them, though, so I let it be.
Racing upstairs, I went through clothing options in my head. What did I have in my closet that I could hope to impress a prince with? Unless I opened it to find it was magically filled with clothes, not a whole lot.
I flicked impatiently through the hangers. Never going on dates meant I hadn’t needed to keep up a decent clothing selection—most of the time I was in either scrubs or jeans, so it hadn’t bothered me before.
Until now.
I finally grabbed the dress Jalaal had bought for me in Vegas. I knew he liked it, at least, and it wasn’t like I had anything nicer. Azure was a nice place. I couldn’t show up there wearing just any old thing.
Since I was wearing something Jalaal had seen before, I spent extra time and attention on my hair and makeup. Not that I had much time to spend. It was nearing six thirty and I wanted to get there with time to spare. I didn’t like the idea of Jalaal waiting there for me, watching the clock and hoping I’d show up.
I wrapped my hair up in a chignon and applied a smoky eye I had perfected in college but hadn’t worn much since. Then I grabbed a pair of plain black heels and hustled back out into the living room.
“How do I look?” I asked.
My dad put down his book again. “You look great, kiddo.”
“Mommy, you look pretty!”
I smiled at both my guys and then ran over and kissed each of them on the cheek. “I won’t be late. Call me if you need to.”
“Will do, pumpkin,” Dad said. “Have fun.”
“Will do.” I winked and sashayed out the door, bursting with energy. Most of it was nervous energy, but I tried to channel the positive when and where I could.
I was jittery the whole drive to the restaurant. My skin was hot, my stomach was unsettled, and I contemplated turning back more than once. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if meeting with Jalaal tonight was the end of the fantasy. I didn’t want whatever happened to put a damper on the memories I had from my weekend with him.
Even if he did truly want me like he’d said on the radio, who was to say he would continue wanting me after spending some time with me? All of me. Not just Vegas Skyler. I didn’t think I’d been that different while on vacation, but I also hadn’t mentioned my kid, and he was a pretty big aspect of my life.
I’d rolled up to Azure before I realized it. My habit of overthinking had always been useful when it came to passing the time.
The valet was waiting out front, but otherwise I couldn’t see anybody. Maybe it just wasn’t a busy night for them.
I’d never dropped my car off with a valet before, and, from the look he gave me, I doubted the valet had ever been given a 2006 Honda Civic to park before. I hadn’t even reached dinner yet and I was already flushed with embarrassment. As if I needed another reminder that Jalaal and I were from completely different worlds.
My heels clicked against the sidewalk. The noise seemed extra loud in such an empty space. Hoping I’d see more people soon, I ascended the stairs to the restaurant doors.
The view from the front of the restaurant was unparalleled. Ocean waves glistened in the distance, lit in hues of amber and pink by the dying sun. I stared out at it, gathering strength and calm from the endless water.
I can do this.
But when I took a cursory peek inside the restaurant, I didn’t see the numerous diners I expected to see. In fact, the place looked empty.
Sweat coated my palms. Was Jalaal playing some sort of elaborate prank? Getting me to dress up and come to dinner only to find the restaurant closed?
Before I had time to torture myself with anxiety, the maître d’ opened the front door.
“Miss Monroe,” he said warmly. “Please, come in.”
“Uh, thanks,” I said, stepping inside.
My eyes swept the cavernous dining room until I noticed it wasn’t completely empty. A gasp caught in my throat.
Jalaal stood behind a table in the center of the room, wearing a fitted black suit with shiny lapels. In one hand he clutched a red rose, and he ran the other through his ebony hair upon catching sight of me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought he was nervous.
I’d forgotten how handsome he was. His elegant nose and thick, expressive eyebrows caught my eye right away. I admired his smooth complexion and curving, wicked lips. A flutter of longing worked its way under my skin. I’d missed him. More than I should have.
The maître d’ led me over to the table. When I was closer, Jalaal said, “I’m glad you came.” His voice pooled around me, urging me closer.
My mouth went dry. “Me too.”
The maître d’ pulled out my chair and handed me a menu as I sat down. I was still shocked that this was all real. It was happening. I was having dinner with a ridiculously good-looking sheikh in San Diego’s most picturesque restaurant. Not to mention the fact that we apparently had the place all to ourselves.
Jalaal reached over to hand me the rose. “I know it’s cheesy,” he said, smiling apologetically. “But I figured you’re the kind of girl who hasn’t been romanced in some time.”
I grasped the stem between my fingers. “That’s an astute observation,” I replied, dipping to inhale the floral scent.
“It hardly took a detective to figure it out,” he said. “Only women who have been hurt before are as keen to run as you are.”
I glanced down at the menu to avoid his gaze.
He chuckled. “My point exactly.”
A small smile played at my lips. Despite barely knowing me, Jalaal had figured out stuff that people who had known me for a long time still hadn’t.
I brought my head back up, willing myself to meet his dark gaze. “I feel bad that you’ve had to do all this crazy stuff just to chase me down.”
“I would do any number of crazy things if it meant I got to see you again.” He smiled impishly. “Besides, it was fun.”
“I just hope the reality lives up to the fantasy,” I said. “I wouldn’t want you to have more fun tracking me down than you will getting to know me.”
“I highly doubt that will be the case,” he grinned, then waved for the server, who bounded over to us a moment later.
In a restaurant where we were the only patrons, I was looking forward to getting the speediest service in town.
Jalaal ordered a bottle of wine and asked for food recommendations. He ended up ordering a pasta dish, and I ordered a parmesan-crusted chicken breast that made my mouth water just thinking about it.
When the server took our menus away, Jalaal turned his attention back to me. “You look stunning tonight,” he said. “I love that dress on you.”
I blushed. “Well, I didn’t have much else to wear,” I admitted. “I don’t have many nice dresses. Certainly not any that are fit for a restaurant as fancy as this.”
“Oh, I should have sent along a dress for you.” Jalaal furrowed his brow. “Please accept my apologies for not doing so.”
“No! Don’t apologize!” I waved a hand in panic. “I wasn’t trying to make a point! I’m sorry!”
Jalaal’s crisp, warm laugh echoed through the rest
aurant. “We’re going to have to stop apologizing to each other.” He leaned back in his chair, eyeing me intensely. “This dinner will never go anywhere if we don’t.”
My first reaction was that I should apologize to him for constantly apologizing. Then I thought better of it.
“There is one more apology I need to get out of the way,” I said, taking a deep breath before I continued. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about my son, Sam.”
“Why is that?” Jalaal leaned forward again. I felt terribly on the spot, but I knew I deserved it. “You could have told me. Did you think I would judge you?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know.” My palms found my face and I rubbed at my cheeks. “I think it was partially because I didn’t want to scare you off, but also because I got to live a different life that weekend. I wasn’t boring old Skyler anymore. I was out doing fabulous things with fabulous people, and I didn’t have to worry about all the stuff I worry about at home.”
Jalaal nodding in understanding. “If you want it, Skyler, that could still become your life. It’s never too late to start going in a new direction.”
I considered his words for a moment. I didn’t think he was offering to rescue me from my humdrum life so much as he was trying to reassure me that my life wasn’t fixed in stone, but I suspected all I would have to do to live like I had been in Vegas every day was ask.
Still, something about the prospect of change didn’t quite feel right.
“You know, I don’t really want things to change too much,” I said. “I’m happy with the way my life is. Sure, sometimes I wonder what it could have been like had circumstances been different, but I wouldn’t go back and change things if I could.” I glanced down at my hands. “I think that was one of the reasons I was worried about meeting you tonight.”
“Skyler.” Jalaal’s tone was soft, comforting.
I looked up. He was smiling warmly.
“Why were you worried about meeting tonight?”
I chuckled nervously. “I feel a bit dumb about it now,” I admitted, “but I guess I thought you would see how boring I am in real life and wouldn’t be interested anymore. Don’t get me wrong—I love my life. I love my son and my dad. I love my job and the people I get to help every day. But it’s not glamorous. Oftentimes, it’s dirtier than I’d like to admit.” I shrugged. “It’s not the kind of lifestyle a powerful, glamorous guy like you would want to buy into.”