My Darling Duke

by Stacy Reid

  A surreal sensation gripped her, and she wondered if she would ever completely know the man before her. Even now, there was a terrible air of isolation about him.

  Closing the book gently, she rested it on a small basket on the floor of the boat. She noted the apples and sandwiches tucked neatly in. “Does it matter to you at all that I am here…in this boat with you?” she asked softly.

  He stopped rowing. The eyes that peered at her were unfathomable. He reached for her, his fingers tracing the lines of her cheekbones and jaw.

  “You are the only person I’ve ever wanted to share my silence.”

  She did not understand, though she hungered to. “Alexander—”

  “The beauty of silence is that it simply is. In the stillness and tranquility, I find peace. Instead of being afraid of the void, I embrace it.”

  Kitty thought of her mother and sisters and how quickly they rushed to fill any quiet moment with more laughter and conversation. How strange and complex they would find the duke.

  “Do you hear your heartbeat?”

  “No,” she whispered, her mouth drying when he slid his hand from her face and rested it against her chest. Kitty flushed, and millions of birds took flight in her stomach.

  “In silence, the senses are heightened. I hear your heartbeat…and mine; I hear and feel the gentle rushing of the wind, the fishes swimming below us in the water, your sweet, soft sighs. There is such beauty in silence before the breaking dawn, after the violence of a storm, in the snow that blankets the land in winter. There is peace, and in the presence of silence, we find the answers to difficult questions.”

  “Are you not lonely within the silence?”

  “Infinitely so, echoing, endless loneliness.”

  Kitty’s heart shattered at the icy acceptance in his voice.

  She leaned lightly into him, tilting her face to his. “Why do you stay in this remote place, Alexander? Why not come to London, be a part of the season?”

  “It is not the frivolity of the season, empty, aimless chatter, and hypocrisy that fills the void in me.”

  “What does?”

  An uncomfortable beat, then he said, “You.”

  She searched his face, her heart pounding. “Then, why have you been avoiding me since our day in the tree?”

  His expression stilled; he made no response. They stared at each other for a while, then Kitty said, “I can now hear your heartbeat, though I am not touching you. How it pounds…and that is because I am sitting so close to you, isn’t it? Do I dare think you are falling for me?” she taunted with a slow smile.

  “You impud—”

  “Impudent minx,” she finished for him with a low laugh.

  The beginning of a smile raised the corners of his mouth. “You must learn to swim, Miss Danvers.”

  The change in conversation startled her for a moment. “I daresay one day I shall. I’ve always thought sea-bathing such a risk—”

  Kitty barely had time to gasp when the duke released the oars, grabbed her, and tumbled with her over the side.

  “You beast!” she shrieked, spluttering and grabbing onto the side of the boat.

  “I thought you were adventurous, Katherine.”

  “You…you odious man,” she said with a choked cry.

  “You are not sinking,” he said, his voice low and reassuring behind her. “And I am right here.” He was pressing into her, and the feel of his hard body against her made something wicked and delightful stretch deep inside her. A light touch against her hip and it was as if the sun burned her so bright.

  The sensation was so electrifying. The chill of the water had no impact, for she was heated from the inside.

  “You dumped us in the water to distract me from my purpose,” she accused.

  “And what was your purpose?”

  Ignoring his low question, she asked, “You are afraid of what I make you feel… Why?”

  In reaction, he gripped her hips so tightly, she couldn’t breathe, but for a moment, she didn’t care, just savored the feeling of being surrounded by him.

  “Your mouth has no filter, does it?”

  A prickle of uncertainty moved down her spine. “Do you want me to be circumspect?”

  “No, I quite like when you are bold and fearless. I want you… I know that I shouldn’t, but how I do crave you, Miss Danvers.”

  She didn’t respond immediately. She couldn’t. All she could think of was the way he’d tormented her with pleasure in the cabin. A low throb moved through her abdomen, and an unbearably keen awareness scythed through her. Kitty touched him, gliding her fingers over his clenched fist, slowly straightening them so they were palm to palm, then she interlaced her fingers with his. Kitty felt her heartbeat, erratic and uncertain as his own under the tip of her fingers.

  She turned in the cage of his arms, her back pressed against the gently bobbing boat, but it was he who held her above water.

  “Wrap your legs around my waist; it will be easier to keep you afloat that way.”

  The wicked suggestion of such intimacy stole her breath. Kitty stared at him in mute shock, then glanced behind him at the castle and rolling lawns in the distance.

  “Most of our bodies are under the water… No one can see.”

  He took her by the waist, pulling her away from the boat. The only support she had now was his body, and she willingly wrapped her legs around his hips. They stood, practically in an embrace, with the raw power and vitality of him surrounding her. She could feel the grace and strength in the legs that kicked below the water keeping them from sinking into the murky depths.

  Strange bewilderment filled her, and she felt unmoored and conflicted. We will have to be wicked and improper to get the things we want. Since the night in the cabin, Kitty couldn’t stop her headlong slide into attraction to the duke any more than she could make water flow uphill. Her complicated feelings could little withstand the force of reason. “Have you ever felt like this before, Alexander? With anyone?”

  The brilliant blue of his gaze became suddenly intent, searching her face. His silence made her heart beat still more violently.

  He seemed exasperated, even a bit amused. Then he leaned in close, pressing his mouth against her temple. “No.”

  The admission disarmed her. She blew out a breath to dispel it, and immediate relief swelled through her body. She wanted to press her face into his throat and breathe in his scent. Instead, she turned her face so that her cheek rested against his. “Neither have I.” She heard herself laugh, all breathless, incredulous delight at her daring admission.

  Lightning streaked and forked above, followed by the ominous boom of thunder, yet neither moved. Her hands shifted of their own volition, sliding up along his back. “Do you fancy you could feel like this again?”

  At his silence, she leaned back so she could observe his expression. There was a peculiar look on his face.

  “No, I do not believe it to be possible.”

  “I dare not believe it to be possible, either.” A flush warmed her face. “Then, what are you going to do about it, Your Grace?”

  He shook his head, a rueful gleam in his eyes. “You are not at all like other ladies, are you?”

  Her heart gave a lonely throb. “Do you want me to be?”

  He brushed a thumb over her cheek. And that caress was a source of cold fire that burned everywhere that he had lingered on her body.

  “Never,” he murmured. And then he kissed her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The moment Alexander’s lips touched hers, Kitty was consumed—by fire, happiness, and an all-encompassing desire.

  He kissed her with a passionate urgency, and she responded with flaming wonder. A wild impulse unraveled in her, and with a sweet sigh of surrender, she parted her lips and allowed him to sweep his tongue along them. The taste of him spilled
through Kitty like sunshine, darkness, and temptation.

  This kiss was harsher, more delicious, and more ravishing than any before. Pleasure coursed through the heated nerve endings, and she shivered in his embrace. Then the sky opened, and with a gasp, they broke apart.

  “Come, we must return at once,” he said, drifting with her toward the gently rocking boat.

  He helped her in and then hauled himself into the boat. Alexander grabbed the oars and, with powerful moves, clawed through the water toward the shore. Kitty glanced behind her. “We are not heading to the main house?” she asked huskily, rubbing her arms to keep the invading chill at bay.

  “No.”

  “Well, that sounded appropriately ominous,” she said with a scowl.

  “I’m directing us to the southeast side of the estate, to the conservatory, which is much closer than the castle.”

  The sky rumbled, and the drops became more insistent. Thankfully, within a few minutes, they were able to disembark the boat and hurried along a cobbled path toward a large half-brick, half-glass enclosure that loomed in the distance.

  They entered the conservatory, and the lush, sultry scent of moisture and fragrant blooms beckoned her deeper into the room. A wide stone path led into the shadowed greenery deep inside the conservatory, and she could see that it opened into an extensive, lavish garden.

  “It is wonderfully warm,” she said on a pleased sigh.

  The boiler there was lit, the air redolent with the many blossoms. A wrought-iron bench was pushed against a corner, and a large oblong table was in the center of the room with pruning shears atop its surface.

  A soft noise had her turning around. He held up a blanket. “Will you permit me once again to be your lady’s maid?”

  There was that provoking humor in his eyes again, but there was something else there, too: need and an awakening hunger. An undeniable awareness filled Kitty, and a languorous feeling spread through her limbs. We must be wicked and improper…

  She moved closer to him, and he wrapped the blanket around her sodden clothes, warming her even more. Kitty spread her hands over his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin under her fingers. It was then she realized the duke closed his eyes whenever she touched him. A slight caress. A bold brush of her fingers along his chin. Each moment was as if he savored her.

  Kiss me again, Alexander. The words were so close to emerging that she could feel the desperate weight on her tongue. But the idea of voicing such a wanton thought mortified her.

  “I can feel your heart racing,” he murmured, his expression one of passionate need.

  She suddenly could not hold his eyes. Would you always look at me so? Please, God, her irrepressible heart prayed. Let Alexander look at me in this manner—with hunger, tender desire, and admiration—always.

  Her forehead fell to his shoulder, and he cupped the back of her neck firmly, as if encouraging her to stay there forever.

  “I am so tempted,” she whispered into the crook of his neck. “So very tempted.” The words emerged like a desperate sob, and she closed her eyes against the aching needs within them.

  A finger slipped under her chin and lifted her face to his. “To do what?” His gaze held hers, and his voice was tender and rough.

  “To be wicked…and free…and to take something for myself without worrying about consequences, and I want to do it with you.”

  Something hot and hungry flared in his expression. It tightened, his cheekbones becoming more pronounced as his lashes lowered over his eyes. Lifting his regard to her, he brushed a lock of damp hair gently behind her ears.

  “What consequences do you worry about?”

  She laughed lightly. “As indelicate as it seemed, my mother warned her girls about wicked, licentious rakes leaving unwanted babies in our bellies, and I assure you, we are suitably filled with fears of ruin and disgrace.”

  His eyes went dark with indefinable emotions. “I am impotent, Kitty.”

  Her heart lurched at his serious tone. “I know you said—”

  “I see you do not perceive its meaning. I am unable to make love with a woman properly. My licentious raking days are long gone. I am unable to father children. If I could…I believe I would make you my duchess.”

  The world fell away from beneath her feet, and it was only he who anchored her.

  “You’re mad,” she whispered. She felt shaken. Hopeful. Delighted. Aroused.

  “Perhaps. I want to strip you, lay your heart and mind bare before me, and make your secrets my own.”

  “A terrifying proposition,” she murmured, scanning the nuances of his expression. She pushed past the shocking revelation he would make her his duchess if he could. And… “Your impotence, this is the result of your fall?”

  “Yes.”

  “I am so sorry, Alexander.” An ache rose in her throat as she tried to imagine the desire of having children being taken away from her. What woman did not dream of a husband, children, a happy home?

  Even though Kitty had other dreams in her heart, there still lingered that plan that said at the end of it all, perhaps she would have to settle with a man who was only a companion, but she would be surrounded by smart and rowdy children until it was her time to leave the world.

  “There is no need to be sorry,” he said. “I’ve had ten long years to accept it. My heart does not ache for the loss of something I no longer have. Nor do I hunger for it.”

  She stared at him in mute shock. No hunger for a family or children. Could anyone truly ever be contented with being alone? “Do you not hunger for a family? A large one with much laughter?”

  “Why would I crave the nuisance of noise?”

  She narrowed her gaze on him, truly wondering if he were being honest with her. “And this is why you’ve made no plans to marry?”

  “A part of it.”

  Then silence.

  “Must you make me impolite enough to ask?”

  He chuckled, and the rough sound rolled through her like fire, warming her chilled skin.

  “I’ve not met a woman interesting enough to tempt me to the state.”

  Her breasts were swelling beneath his gaze as if he were stroking her. How exquisite were the sensations tightening around her heart. She felt weak, undone, hopeful, and afraid. “Until me?”

  “Do I find you interesting, Kitty Danvers?”

  There was an invitation in the brilliant depth of his gaze. “I suspect so,” she whispered, “or I would still be in London, you would be here, and we would have never met.”

  A smile curved his lips. “I might feel a touch of something unusual.” Then he sobered, his eyes serious. “I am addicted to you, Miss Danvers. And I know all about drugs.”

  “Do you?” she asked archly, though her heart was a quivering mess.

  “I do. For some time, opium was my best friend. Hashish my lover. Laudanum my brother, and we got together often in my despair.”

  Her heart gave a sudden, sharp thud. “And now…are they still your companions?”

  He smiled, barely. “Not for the last six years.”

  “Why not?”

  “Penny needed me…so I became present.”

  And that indomitable will peeked out from the brilliant beauty of his eyes once again. He dipped his head and leaned in close so their lips almost touched, their noses brushing. “I want just one small, infinitesimal piece of your affection to carry with me always. At first, I thought your smile would be enough. Then maybe your laughter. How wrong I’ve been, Miss Danvers. Foolishly…quite foolishly, I am desperate for more.”

  “I am falling for you,” she said softly, and with every honest emotion in her heart. “I want a piece of you as well. Memories that will live with me for this lifetime and the next.” But I would much prefer if you never let me go, Alexander.

  He captured her mouth in a searing ki
ss. She allowed the fire of lust to consume her world, willingly burning away the doubts. His embrace was fierce, unyielding, and she shivered at the sensations rioting through her. Each kiss went deeper, lingered longer. Everything in her yearned for this, craved him.

  It had been so long since she’d done something for herself.

  Passion blazed between them, sweeping the last remnants of cold from her body. Kitty burned everywhere, and her needs were so chaotic and terrible, she sobbed against his lips. And he swallowed it all, every moan, every inarticulate cry of wonder and desire.

  Kitty gasped when he lifted her and, in a few steps, had her seated atop the large table, the duke standing between her thighs, which she had instinctively widened to accommodate him. And through it all, he continued kissing her with ravishing tenderness.

  “I am going to be very wicked with you, Katherine,” he murmured against her lips, in a voice that had gone hoarse. “If you have any objections, please voice them now while I am still sensible.”

  His words set a path of fire down her throat and into her stomach. “Yes,” she said, unable to resist the needs in her heart and body for him.

  He made a murmur of approval and slid his hand around her nape, then kissed her lips with such tenderness, a lump formed in her throat. Rain muttered dimly against the roof of the conservatory, but the air within felt hushed and full, heavy with expectation. As his kisses gentled, the sensations within her body exploded with pulsing heat. Then he broke away to kiss her chin, her throat, the crook of her shoulder.

  Her nipples became so hard, so tight, they were a near-violent ache. “Alexander,” she moaned, low and husky.

  His thumb made a slow stroke across her inner elbow, a soothing, sensual caress. The high waist of her gown was tugged down, and his mouth brushed the top of her breasts; then his lips closed over a nipple.

  A wild cry tore from her throat as aching, desperate sensations began to pulse through her. “Alexander!”

  His mouth pulled, and the tug was felt low and hot in her belly. She held his head to her, her fingers gripping perhaps too tightly in his hair. The strokes of his tongue sent heated delight flushing through her.