Flat-Out Celeste
Page 26
Celeste took an empowering breath. “I’m submitting my acceptance to Barton.” Before he could say anything, she continued. “It’s where I want to be. Not because of you. Partially, of course. But truly, it’s because I’m choosing a more important path for myself. Matt helped me see that. Just because I assumed that I would go to an Ivy does not mean that is the right choice for me. It’s not what I want. Not anymore. In fact, I don’t think I’ve wanted that for a while. I refuse to be left behind in this world, so I need to catch up. This is a smart step for me.”
Justin’s hold on her tightened. “I’m so happy for you.”
“You have taught me, Justin…” She took some calming breaths. “You have taught me that I am allowed to like myself just as I am, at whatever stage I am in. I can change, I can stay the same, or I can be whoever it is that is right for me; but I can be satisfied. No, more than that. I can be proud. I can celebrate. That is what I am going to do.”
“And you are going to do that brilliantly. I have no doubt.”
“I have hope that you and I will continue this relationship, because I care so deeply for you, Justin. So much so that I withdrew. But I know that not every love is forever. That’s the practical side of me talking. I do not want you to feel a responsibility because I am going to Barton. I am, very sincerely, going for me.”
“And I want to you know that I get this, Celeste. I really do. Your choice comes from strength, not from dependence.”
“Yes.”
“And now I have a very important question for you,” he said. “Why do I have a backpack? Michelle made me take it and wouldn’t tell me anything. I thought maybe she was dropping me off for some sort of vile reality show survival game where I’d have to kill a pig in order to eat dinner.”
Celeste laughed. Oh, how she’d missed him. “I was hoping that you would lead me down the steep rocks and to the beach.”
He kissed her cheek. “You want to sleep down there?”
“She brought me appropriate shoes, and a blanket and… I don’t remember what else I asked for. I don’t care what we have. I just want to sleep on the beach with you.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“And I am considering something else.” She stepped from his arms and walked forward, closer to the edge of the rocky cliff. The view just before night hit was incomparable.
“What’s that, my brave girl?”
Celeste watched as the sun threw the last of its light across the water. “One day, when the color of the sky is perfect, when I have spent the night in your arms, and when I am fully back where I belong, I may just jump from the cliffs to the water below. Maybe. Maybe I will; maybe I won’t. But in either case, I will still be just fine.”
She could feel Justin studying her. “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” He clapped. “You are. That is the power of Celeste.”
Celeste smiled without reservation and peeked back at him. “Maybe,” she said coyly. She winked and raised both hands in the air, flashing the peace sign to the world before her. The world that used to terrify her and the world that now welcomed her.
“I am choosing a love that defies boundaries and a life that defies boundaries. That is the power of Celeste.”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
SYDNEY DELORES HERRING and Maddie Round are two very special young women. They wrote me in December 2013 and absolutely gushed over the Flat books and me, and they did so at a time when I was discouraged and utterly confused and uninspired to write. After messaging back and forth with them one evening, I fell asleep hearing Celeste in my head. It was borderline creepy how clearly she spoke to me, but it was then that I knew I could—and had to—write Flat-Out Celeste. How could I not? Sydney and Maddie call me “the author,” Flat-Out Love “the book,” and Matt “the character.” I’m humbled and curtsying like crazy over these girls.
This book would never have been possible without the endless help that Rebekah Crane gave Celeste and me. The hand holding, the yelling of, “Let it land!”, and the unwavering championing were the reason I could write. Without Rebekah, there could be no Flat-Out Celeste. Smart, brilliantly funny, and loyal, she is everything one could ask for in book advisor, and even more important, in a friend.
Liis McKinstry, Mo Mabie, Whitney McGregor, Aestas, Whitney McGregor, Rob Zimmerman, Marlana Grela, Maryse Coutier Black, Jen Halligan, Jamie McGuire, Tracy Crawford Hutchinson, Rebecca Donovan, Tammara Webber, and Tracey Garvis-Graves have extended themselves in so many ways. All have proven to be generous, loving, and supportive over the past few years, and I thank them with all of my heart for their dedication to me and to my books. They continue to cheerlead enthusiastically when I am discouraged and whiny and have certainly earned wild applause.
There is not enough praise to throw Autumn Hull’s way. What a stupendous job she’s done for me with Celeste’s promotion! As talented a publicist as she is, Autumn is equally kind and caring on a personal level, and I am very thankful to have her in my corner.
Antoinette Woodward pulled me from a ledge just before I jumped, and she has my eternal love.
Without Maria Milano, Justin would not have a last name. Also, she has a true knack for proofreading and can spot a missing word a mile away, and Celeste and I owe her dinner.
My friend Tom, while in the battle of a lifetime, still insisted on hearing about Celeste and giving me his time and creative input. I needed that hand-holding desperately, and he got me through a few huge struggles and desperate days. His patience for my babbling and thinking out loud cannot be underestimated.
Not a day goes by that Andrew Kaufman does not support me, challenge me, make me laugh, and offer me the most layered and remarkable friendship a girl could ask for. He knew what it meant to me to get this book written and published, and he never once gave up on me. Andrew manages to be the voice of reason and calm during my frequent hysterics, and he has the ability to talk me through even the most crazy of thinking. I would be, without question, lost without him.
Carmen Comeaux is so smart and fabulous that I was scared to send her my manuscript. Her sharp eye and immeasurable editing skills are much appreciated. College may be far behind, but friendship is not.
My longtime friend Alexa Lewis did a wonderful job line editing and included amusing comments, such as, “This line sounds like a Celine Dion song. Change? Unless you’re going for that.” So she caught typos and catastrophic word choices. I couldn’t ask for more.
Thank you to Dawn Abby Gil and Dallas Fryer for letting me borrow their names. I hope I did them justice.
John Vosseler talked me through Sunset Cliffs, and on my next trip to San Diego, I’m there!
I’ve got a core group of twenty women with whom I fight the good fight each day. The publishing world is not easy, and it means everything that I have them to catch me when I fall and celebrate with me when I climb. I’m throwing handfuls of glitter at them right now, and each one of them looks positively stunning.
And as always, gratitude to my ever-patient family for allowing me to disappear for days and picking up the slack during crunch time. Apologies to my son who continues to suggest that I “should really think about writing something else.” Perhaps one day I will write that epic science fiction book…
My readers and bloggers: Man, am I lucky. They give me more than I ever understood possible with their encouragement, and humor, and sending of unicorn paraphernalia and Wonder Woman pictures. They are the reason that I have a career, and I don’t forget that for a second. Special love out to my Facebook and Twitter followers who are the most wild and wonderful crowd imaginable. Clearly I cannot list you all here (although I’d love to!), but I know so many of your names from our frequent interactions, and you all rock my world hard. See you soon, my friends.
And finally, thank you to The Coffee People for making Black Tiger k-cups, to Amazon for delivering my fuel at near light speed, and for the baristas at my local Starbucks for knowing to add an extra espresso shot to ever
ything.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
What Was Best
The Slap Heard ‘Round the World
Coconuts
Hot Enough for You?
In Which We are Introduced to a Boy
The Snowy Owl
Don’t Flinch
One and the Same
Blur
Push
#itsnotadate
The Uprising
Clarity
Aftershocks
Quite Beguiled
Joy
Midnight
To The Future
Have a Drink on Me
Hey, Celeste?
Watching Perfection
The Shape of Us
Shifting Gears
Dreams and Truth
Erased
Hinges
Leveling Up
The Power of Celeste
Acknowledgements
Table of Contents
What Was Best
The Slap Heard ‘Round the World
Coconuts
Hot Enough for You?
In Which We are Introduced to a Boy
The Snowy Owl
Don’t Flinch
One and the Same
Blur
Push
#itsnotadate
The Uprising
Clarity
Aftershocks
Quite Beguiled
Joy
Midnight
To The Future
Have a Drink on Me
Hey, Celeste?
Watching Perfection
The Shape of Us
Shifting Gears
Dreams and Truth
Erased
Hinges
Leveling Up
The Power of Celeste
Acknowledgements