I grind my teeth. “Whatever, Sully.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he says, and then he grabs his jacket from the counter and heads for the garage.
***
I absently stab at the broccoli on my plate and drown out the sounds of the cafeteria. I’ve gotta give Robbie and Lucy props for trying to include me in their conversation. I nod and smile when I think I should, not hearing what they have to say. I keep thinking about what Sully said. He expected me to tell Arden. I don’t want to start drama, but I can’t keep going like this. If Ryan keeps fucking with me, I’m going to have to say something.
My phone vibrates with a message from Arden saying he’ll be home by four and wants to take us all out to dinner tonight. I shoot him a text saying I have plans and to have fun. “What’s going on after school today?” I ask Robbie.
Robbie’s brows pull together. “Shopping for clothes.”
“Great, can I come?”
Lucy laughs. “You already said you were coming.”
“Right. Riding with you after school?”
“You just said you’d ride with me,” Robbie says. “Remember?”
“That’s right.”
“You okay?” Lucy asks me.
The concern on her face makes me want to spill all my secrets. I can’t keep everything bottled up. I feel like I’m going to explode. “I haven’t been feeling like myself,” I mumble, glancing around the table to make sure nobody else heard me. Robbie’s completely focused on his food, Ben and Kara are in a political debate, and Ava and another girl are watching a video on Ava’s phone.
Lucy follows my gaze. “Let’s go to the quiet room.”
“What’s the quiet room?” I whisper.
“A place to talk and reflect,” she says with a smile. “Emma and I are going to the QR for a bit,” Lucy tells the table.
I feel my face flush with heat. I expect everyone to look at me funny, but they don’t. They wave and smile as we get up from the table.
“Nobody here is going to judge you,” Lucy says as we leave the lunchroom. “This isn’t public school.”
I let out a relieved breath. “Good to know, but don’t people go to the quiet room if they’re having a problem?”
“Not necessarily, and there’s nothing wrong with having a problem. Everyone has a problem eventually, and the quiet room can be used for any quiet activity.” She laughs. “Including naps.”
I giggle. “Really? Naps?”
“Yep. If you’re ever lacking sleep, feel free.”
Sage-colored walls, natural light, and bamboo floors give the quiet room a tranquil ambiance. Large pillows and beanbags are strewn around the room, and an overcrowded bookshelf is situated between floor-to-ceiling windows. Metal wind chimes hanging outside the windows chime softly in the breeze.
“Come sit with me,” Lucy says, pulling two beanbags into a corner of the room.
My butt connects with the hardwood floor as I sink into the worn bag. Lucy maneuvers her bag, sitting down directly in front of me.
“Hello, girls. Robbie told me you two came in here.”
A tall, willowy woman comes into the room. Her shirt is white and her long, flowing skirt is light blue. Her hair is black with pieces of gray mixed in and she’s wearing it high on her head in a bun.
“Mrs. Bean,” Lucy whispers to me. “She does a little bit of everything here.”
Lucy and I both say hello.
“Emma, Mrs. Kelly told me about your skills in the pottery room the other day. She doesn’t brag often so you must have impressed her.”
“It was a lot of fun.”
“It is one of the student’s favorite classes. Anyway, I just wanted to pop into to say a quick hello and welcome you to the school. If you need anything my office is in the first building. You can come directly to me or any of the staff. We are all here to help and guide the students.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Bean. Mrs. Kelly said the same thing. Everyone here has been awesome. It’s a great school.”
She smiles. “Good. It is a one of a kind school, isn’t it? I’ll let you two get back to it. It was nice meeting you, Emma. See you two later.” With a little wave, she strolls out.
“Mrs. Bean has been here since the school opened twenty years ago. She’s really nice.” Lucy gets to her feet and crosses the room, pulling a mirror from the wall. “Okay, so, I want to do an exercise with you.” She sits back down, holding the mirror up so I can see my reflection. “Tell me what you see.”
I shift uncomfortably. “Pale skin, dark circles under eyes that are too big, acne scars on my chin, eyebrows that don’t match my hair color.”
Lucy shakes her head. “Look deeper.” Leaning forward, she rests her hand on my chest. “Tell me what’s inside?”
“Sad, unhappy, scared.”
“What else?” Lucy asks.
I watch my blue eyes fill with tears. One escapes, trailing down my cheek, only to be caught by my lips. “Angry, alone.”
“Good,” Lucy says, setting the mirror to the side.
I laugh, wiping away another tear. “How can that be good?”
“Because if you can see it, you can fix it. Tell me when you first felt lonely?”
I think for a moment. “Probably when my parents divorced. My mom moved away.” Feeling vulnerable, I mess with a string at the bottom of my jeans to avoid eye contact. “I stayed with my dad because I didn’t want to leave my friends.”
“How’s the relationship with him?” Lucy asks.
“He doesn’t know how to be a dad. He was distant even before my mom left. After she left, he started drinking and doing drugs, or maybe he already was.” I shake my head. “I moved in with my grandma when I was fifteen. I’ve only talked to him once or twice since then.”
“What I’m hearing is that your dad wasn’t able to love you the way you needed to be loved. Humans are affectionate beings, so I can imagine how isolated you felt. When our needs are neglected, we reach out to others to fulfill what our caregivers should be providing. You need to make sure you’re looking in the right places, but first, you must do the inner work.”
“Inner work? How?”
“Books, talking to me, meditation. I’ll help you find yourself. Your inner self is buried deep, but she wants to be set free. Can you feel her trying to claw her way out?”
Confused, I say, “Maybe, but not really. How do you know all this?”
She smiles. “My mom’s a life coach. She calls herself a free-spirited healer. I’ve watched her work for years. We can meet a couple hours a day if you want. This week’s a little crazy. I’m helping some of the little kids with reading, volunteering in the office again, and on kitchen cleanup. Let’s start next week.”
“Next week’s fine,” I say, not sure what I’m agreeing to.
She grins. “I’m so excited! This will be fun, and it’ll help our friendship on a deeper level.” Lucy laughs, playfully rolling her eyes. “I can tell you’re not excited.”
“I can’t picture what we’re going to be doing. Sitting cross-legged with our eyes closed?”
Lucy laughs again. “No. You’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll be excited for both of us.” She glances at her phone. “I gotta be in the kitchen in a minute. Wanna walk with me?”
“Sure. I’m supposed to watch Robbie and the band practice.”
“They’re pretty good. Robbie’s been playing the guitar for years,” Lucy tells me as we walk down the hall.
“One of my friends back home was in a band. They weren’t very good.”
“Learning an instrument can be tricky. I never could get the hang of it.”
I say bye to Lucy and then head to the music room. Robbie and his three bandmates are jamming out, so I slip in quietly, taking a seat on a worn leather couch.
The loud music rattles my brain, helping me to stay in the present. When the clock hits two, Robbie and I call it a day and head toward his house to grab a snack before shopping.
“You can
bring your old clothes to this place and they give you cash,” Robbie says, keeping his eyes on the road.
“That’s cool.”
“They have nice stuff for half the price. We hit it up once a month.”
“Cool,” I mumble absently. I know I’m not being the best company right now, but I feel too emotionally exhausted to care about anything.
“Emma?”
“Sorry, what’d you say?” I turn away from the window to focus on him.
He pulls the truck into his driveway. “You sure you’re feeling okay? Do you want some coffee?”
“Coffee? Um… maybe. I guess.” Movement at the front of Robbie’s house catches my attention. My eyes widen, and I lean forward to get a closer look, bumping my forehead on the passenger window. “Ow.” I rub my forehead while watching a guy who looks like Sully spray something around the base of Robbie’s house.
Shit. It is Sully. His truck is parked in the driveway.
My door opens. Robbie’s on the other side, and I didn’t even see him get out of the truck. “I’ll wait here. Go ahead,” I say in a rush.
Robbie laughs. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Not really.”
He narrows his eyes. “You okay?”
I nod my head, looking past him to watch Sully. “I’m fine. I’ll wait.” Sully looks professional in his khakis, gray collared shirt, and black baseball cap.
“I’ll grab a few to-go snacks, and I’ll get you that coffee.” He gives me a questioning look. “Be right back.”
Robbie stops to talk to Sully, and I get to see a glimpse of the Sully I met at the mall. He throws his head back and laughs at whatever Robbie just said. He looks so happy and carefree right now. Robbie talks animatedly to a smiling Sully for several minutes before gesturing to me and heading inside.
I watch Sully’s gaze land on me, and his body turns rigid.
Oh, shit.
Here he comes.
I slam the door shut only for it to be yanked open.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Nothing,” I squeak.
“Why are you here,” Sully growls. “Are you spying on me?”
I swallow. “Robbie’s a friend from school. We’re hanging out.” I glance over Sully’s shoulder. “And he’ll be back any second. You should go.”
“And why’s that? Don’t want your new friend to know that we know each other?”
“Please, Sully. Just go,” I beg.
“You been kissing Robbie too?”
“What?” I ask, not expecting him to ask a question like that. Maybe Ryan, but not Sully.
“Hey, Sully. Do you know Emma?” Robbie asks, walking up behind him.
“I’m living at his house,” I say before Sully can answer.
Robbie frowns. “You live with him?” He gestures between us. “Are you two a couple?”
“No,” I blurt out.
“It’s temporary,” Sully says, turning his back to me and fully facing Robbie. “Once she finishes probation, she’s moving out.” With that, he walks away.
“Probation?” Robbie asks with an arched brow. “You don’t look like the type.” He hands me a cup of coffee and two muffins.
“It was a huge misunderstanding,” I say, searching his face.
He nods, closing my door and then walking around to the other side.
“You can take me home, or I can walk from here,” I say as he gets into the driver’s seat.
He frowns. “Why would I take you home?”
“Because I’m on probation, and I didn’t tell you guys.”
“I don’t care about that. You said it was a misunderstanding, but even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t judge you because you’re on probation.”
“Thanks, Robbie.”
He smiles. “Feel like sharing?”
I let out a breath, leaning my head against the seat. “It’s a long, messy story.”
“I’ve got time. We aren’t far from the store, but I can take the scenic route.”
I shake my head. “Maybe some other time.”
“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Is there anything I can do?”
“Hanging out with you guys after school is helping me more than you’ll ever understand.”
Sully pulls his phone from his pocket as Robbie’s backing out of the driveway. I bet he’s texting Ryan so they can plan more ways to mess with me.
Chapter 16
The rest of the week goes by in a blur. I spend school hours trying different classes to see which ones I like best, and I spend the evening hours with Robbie, Lucy, and Ben. By the time I get home each night, it’s late enough where I can head straight to bed. The monsters have been quiet, and I find myself waiting for their next stunt.
Robbie drops me off straight after school on Thursday so he can meet and audition a potential band member. I’m almost to my room when I get a text from Arden, asking me to meet him in his office. This will be the first time I’ve seen him face to face in almost a week. I tap on his door before pushing it open.
“Hey, Emma. Come have a seat.”
I sink onto the couch, crossing my legs.
“You’re a hard person to get ahold of.” His smile is tight.
I bite my lip. “Yeah, I’ve been busy at school and then after with my friends.”
Arden moves to lean against the front of his desk. “About that. I received a call from your teacher yesterday.” He scratches his temple. “I’m sure you know what we have to talk about since… you were the one who was caught.” Arden clears his throat. “I’m surprised you just received a warning,” he mutters, his gaze dropping to his desk. “Possibly because you’re an adult—”
“Arden, what are you talking about?” I ask. “My school called?”
“I was informed you were caught having sex in the library,” Arden says. “I’m told this was a warning, but next time, you could be expelled.”
My mouth drops open. “My school said that? I didn’t… They must have called the wrong person.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “I know it’s embarrassing, Emma. Just please be truthful with me. I don’t want you to get expelled. There are other private schools, but they might not accept you if”—he gestures toward me—“you’re doing that at school.”
“I’m not doing that at school.” I bury my face in my hands. “Oh my God.”
“Emma, is everything okay with you? I haven’t seen you all week. You’re not getting home until after dinner, and you’re skipping breakfast. Maybe you’d like to think more about seeing a counselor?”
“Let’s call the school,” I say, jumping to my feet.
“What? Why wo—”
A knock at the door cuts him off. “Hey, Dad, Michael’s here,” Ryan says from the doorway.
He’s dressed in gray sweats and a loose-fitting white shirt. His hair is damp, and his face is flushed like he just finished working out.
“Tell him I’ll be out in a minute, please, Ryan,” Arden says, not looking at him.
I catch Ryan’s gaze as he turns to walk away, and it hits me. This motherfucker. “He did it! He called pretending to be the school, or he had a friend call.” The words come shooting out of my mouth before I can stop them.
“What?” Ryan and Arden say in unison.
“I didn’t do that at school. Ryan’s setting me up,” I say, unable to stop myself. I’m so over him fucking with me.
“What’s going on, Dad?” Ryan asks, sounding like an innocent lamb.
Arden shakes his head. “Maybe it was a mix-up.”
I stomp my foot. “No! It was Ryan. He freaking hates me. He did this. I know it.”
Arden steps forward like he wants to hug me, but I back up. “Emma, nobody hates you.” He turns to Ryan. “Right, Son?”
“I don’t hate Emma, and I didn’t call pretending to be anyone.”
Arden smiles. “See, it must be a misunderstanding like you said.”
I grind my teeth. I want to te
ll him to make the call. He’d find out that nobody from the school called him.
Arden glances at his watch. “I really do need to go. My associate’s here. We’re heading to the airport for the trip I messaged you about the other day,” he says, eyes full of concern.
Ryan steps next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders. “No worries, Dad. Have a good trip.”
My body is vibrating with anger. Ryan is turning me into a monster because the thoughts running through my head right now are evil. Arden leaves the room, giving us a forced smile, and I shrug Ryan’s arm off.
“Had enough yet?” Ryan laughs. “My dad’s never going to believe I called.”
“Leave me alone, Ryan. Just go.”
Ryan glares down at me. “I’m never going to leave you alone. I won’t let you ruin my family. Ready for another weekend outside?”
I move to go around him, but he jumps in front of me. “You’re delusional,” I hiss.
“What’s going on?” Brent comes into the room, looking worried. Worried for me or his brother?
“I’m delusional? So, you’re not taking thousands of dollars from my dad? Who’s paying for your school? Hmm? How’d you get that brand-new wardrobe, phone, and computer? Why’s my dad so fucking tight-lipped about you?”
Don’t do it, my inner voice says. I can feel my anger on the verge of spilling over. He just keeps pushing me. “I didn’t ask for this!” I scream, shoving him back a step. “I would have left, but you put the drugs in the car!” I shove him again. “I don’t want to be here. This is your fault, Ryan!” Burning pain flashes across my sensitive skin. I touch my cheek where Ryan slapped me. The familiar pain brings back memories of my dad on one of his many drunken nights.
“Excuses!” Ryan screams in my face.
“Ryan!” Brent yells, grabbing Ryan’s arm and pulling him out the door.
Arden painted a pretty picture, and I ate it up like the little naive girl I am. No wonder I’m always getting fucked over, trying to see the good in people where none exists. I’m always giving second, third, fourth, and fifth chances when they don’t deserve one.
Bullies Love and Lies Page 11