I sink to the floor, my legs refusing to hold me up any longer. I slap my hand over my mouth and scream into it. I can’t live like this anymore.
Chapter 16.5
RYAN
“Holy shit, dude. That’s gonna leave a mark,” Brent says, flipping the light switch on.
I grab a beer from the fridge next to the pool table. “I know,” I grind out. I ball my hands into fists. She’s making me lose my fucking mind. The three-mile jog was supposed to help calm me down, not amp me up. “She needs to learn she can’t raise her voice to us. She’s getting braver. Soon she’ll be convincing Dad to kick us out.”
“Yeah,” Brent says flatly.
I think he’s beginning to doubt she’s going to fuck us over. Hell, looking at her makes me doubt it too. Fuck her innocent face. I down half the beer in one go.
“If Mr. A finds out you hit her, he’s going to be pissed. He might actually kick you out.”
“I know.” Grabbing the cue ball, I sling it forward on the pool table, and it cracks against the two.
Brent grabs his stash from under the couch cushion. “What are you gonna do? What if she tells him?”
“Lemme think.”
“You rolling one?” Sully asks, coming into the room. He grabs a beer and pauses. “What’s the matter with you two?”
I don’t need this right now. He’s been on my case since I locked her out of the house.
“Tell him, Ryan. He’s going to find out.”
I shoot Brent a look, telling him to shut the fuck up.
“He fucking hit her,” Brent says.
“I smacked her,” I correct.
Brent scoffs. “Across the face, and it was hard.”
“Da fuck, Ryan? I told you to back off,” Sully says, stepping up to me. He shoves me back. “You need to get ahold of your fucking mind, man.” He jabs his finger into his temple. “Monica fucked some shit up in there.”
“Fuck you!” I spit.
“Fuck me? Fuck me, Ryan? I’m your fucking brother.”
I ball my hands into fists. “He’s choosing her over us.”
“He wouldn’t do—”
“The fuck he wouldn’t!” I cut Brent off. “You weren’t here. You don’t know.”
Sully grabs my face between his hands. “Listen to me. I won’t let anything happen to this family.” His hands drop to my shoulders. “Dad cares about Emma because she needs someone to care for her. He’s doing the right thing, that’s all. I mean, it’s obvious she’s got issues. All the lying and then her trying to get with both of us—”
“What?” Brent says. “She didn’t try to get with Ryan.”
“Ryan showed me the picture you took,” Sully says.
I groan. “Fuck, Sully. That was fake. I thought she was brainwashing you. I—”
“What do you mean it was fake?”
I sigh. “I made her kiss me and had Brent take the picture.”
“Dammit,” Sully hisses. He steps back, looking disgusted. “You forced her to kiss you? What the fuck, man?” He jabs a finger in my direction. “Get ahold of yourself. I’m so fucking serious, Ryan.”
I watch him leave the room, knowing he’s right. Monica fucked me up more than I already was.
I turn to Brent. “What’s going on with you?” I don’t need to explain; he knows what I’m talking about.
“Arden’s a grown man, Ry. He can make his own choices.” Brent shrugs. “Him taking me in literally saved my life. If Emma’s shit was as bad as mine, then fuck that. I’m glad she’s here. At first, I might have thought she was some bitch trying to get money, but I don’t think so now. That’s why I’ve stepped back. I don’t want to be a part of it.”
I grind my jaw, hating to admit they might be right. She’s been blowing Dad off and avoiding the house. She didn’t even tell him I locked her out. “Fuck. Meet me outsider her door at ten. I’ll back off after tonight.”
Chapter 17
I’m frantically packing a bag when someone pounding on the door has a scream bubbling up my throat. I won’t live in constant fear, not again. I throw on a jacket.
Sully’s voice comes from the other side of the closed door, asking if he can come in.
“No!” I shout, still cramming things into my bag. I dash into the closet to slip my shoes on. I just need to grab my toothbrush now. Hurrying back into the room, I glare at the person standing next to my bed. “I told you not to come in.”
“The door was unlocked.”
I push past Sully. “The lock doesn’t keep people out,” I mumble, slipping my backpack over my shoulder and grabbing my purse.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” I choke out.
“Because of what Ryan did?”
I meet his eyes and nod. He said did, and not what Ryan’s done, so he must know that Ryan hit me.
With a clenched jaw, his gaze drops to the side of my face. “He’s not going to do that again.”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “That’s what they all say.”
He narrows his eyes. “Who says that?”
“You don’t know what Ryan’s going to do, and you can’t stop him from hitting me again. I know how this goes.” I shake my head in aggravation. “Once someone puts their hands on you, there is always a next time. The next time is usually worse than the first.”
“How would you know? Who’s put their hands on you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Sully.” I wipe my nose on my sleeve. “I have to go.”
He steps closer, anger pouring off him. “Who hit you before?”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter, but I’m not stupid enough to stay in a house full of angry boys who hate me.” I move to step around him, but he stops me by wrapping his arm around my waist.
He searches my face, and then his lips crash down on mine. It doesn’t take long for the shock of him kissing me to wear off, and then I’m running my fingers through his hair and kissing him back just as passionately as he’s kissing me.
It takes a few seconds for my rational brain to kick in. Breathing heavy, I pull away. “You can’t kiss me.” I step back. “You can’t kiss me and then be mean to me. I’m tired of the back and forth.”
“I wanted to apologize.”
I quirk a brow. “That’s how you apologize.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “No, I… That day he found us in the basement he showed me the picture of you and him kissing. He just now told me what he did.” He clenches his jaw. “When I first saw that picture… After we had…” He shakes his head.
“He showed you that?” I murmur more to myself than to him. The possibility of him showing Sully hadn’t crossed my mind.
“I thought you were playing me. I let that plus everything else get to my head.” He blows out a breath. “Ryan crossed a line, multiple lines. If he touches you again, I’m gonna beat the fuck outta him. He knows it too.”
“He’s not going to stop messing with me.”
Sully shakes his head. “He’s done fucking with you. It doesn’t mean he’s not going to be a grumpy asshole, but he’s backing off. Okay?”
“I hope so. This shit is too damn much.”
“Ryan has issues that you triggered. Monica was a manipulative bitch who gave him trust issues when it comes to women.”
“Monica? Who’s Monica?”
“Remember I told you my aunt was Ryan’s nanny?” I nod. “That’s Monica. She treated us like shit, and Arden didn’t believe us. Things got bad, and Ryan’s got it in his head that you’re like her.”
“Bad how?” I ask, thinking if I had some perspective, maybe I could see Ryan differently.
“It’s public knowledge. It was in all the papers. About a year after Monica and I moved in, Ryan and I started getting sick. Nobody could figure out why until Mary caught Monica poisoning our food. She was slowly trying to kill us so she could have Arden to herself.”
My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. “Holy shit.”<
br />
“Yeah, it was fucked up, and it’s not just Monica. We’ve seen every trick a gold digger has. I let my past and Ryan get in my head. I’m sorry.”
Silence falls between us. I want to jump at his apology and start over, but I’m scared of getting hurt by him again. We can’t go back to whatever we were. Deep in thought, I pinch my bottom lip between my fingers.
Looking concerned, he studies my face. “What are you thinking?”
I smile. “What if we start over as friends?”
“Friends?”
I grin. “Yeah, Sully. Do you want to be my friend?”
“I can do that.” He smirks. “I’ll be your friend.”
I raise my brow playfully. “Not friends with benefits, just friends.”
He chuckles. “I know what friends means, Emma.”
“Okay,” I say hesitantly, because he’s not looking at me like he’s just a friend.
“You gonna unpack your bag?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
He pulls the strap from my shoulder; his fingers brushing against my collarbone sends tingles down my spine. “Need help?”
I take the bag from him. “I got it, but thanks.”
“Okay. I’ve gotta head out soon anyway. Got a client who requests we spray his property at night.” He backs up to the door and winks. “See you tomorrow morning, friend.”
When he walks out, I fall back on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling. Lucy said I’d seek love in all the wrong places. How do I know the right places from the wrong?
I unpack, slips on pajamas, and click the lamp off, holding my breath until my eyes adjust to the dark. I watch the door until my eyes are too heavy to keep open.
The sound of my bedroom door unlocking and opening has my eyes popping open. Three shadows slip into my room. Besides fisting my blanket tightly, I can’t move. I’m frozen in fear.
“She’s asleep,” a voice hisses.
It takes my brain a minute to recognize Brent’s voice. Unexpected light invades my eyes. Sitting up, I blink rapidly, trying to adjust to the brightness. Brent, Ryan, and their friend with the white-blond hair are standing at the foot of my bed.
I wait silently for what’s going to happen. Arden isn’t home, so screaming will be useless. I glance at my phone on the nightstand. I could text Sully. He said he wouldn’t let Ryan fuck with me anymore.
“We’re not here to hurt you,” Brent says.
“Unfortunately,” their friend says with a roll of his eyes.
“Shut up, Silex. Why’d we even bring him?” Brent says.
“Because,” Ryan says, not answering the question. “Give me your phone, Brent.” Brent does, and Ryan swipes at the screen. “I’m here to call a truce. Just need a few pictures to ensure you stay in line.” Ryan lifts his chin to Silex, who looks too eager to do whatever Ryan’s secretly instructing.
“Come here,” Silex says, making eye contact and calling me over with his index finger.
I shake my head, my stare darting between the three of them and the closed door.
“Let’s make this quick so we can move on,” Ryan says to me.
My mind turns, coming up with horrible scenarios of why they might be in my room. My heart beats frantically against my chest, and my head swims with dizziness. They shouldn’t be in my room.
Does nobody understand a locked door? It was locked, meaning keep the fuck out. Bad things happen behind closed doors, my mind whispers. My throat feels constricted making it hard to breathe. Shit, I think I’m going to pass out. A blackness edges my vision. Yep, I’m going out any minute.
“Shit, Ryan. She’s freaking the fuck out,” Brent says. The edge of the bed dips, and Brent’s in my face. “Ryan isn’t going to hurt you. He just wants to take a few pictures.”
I take deep breaths, trying to stop myself from losing consciousness. “Pictures?”
“Pictures for insurance purposes,” Ryan says.
My heart rate slows. “What kind of pictures?”
“Pictures that make it look like we’re friends. Just friendly pictures,” Ryan says.
I don’t know why, but my gaze darts to Silex. He’s smiling at me, but there’s a hint of something in his eyes that tells me… I’m not sure what it tells me. I frown, not liking this situation. “I don’t think so,” I say.
“Just a few pictures, Emma,” Brent says. “It’s going to take two minutes, right, Ryan?”
Ryan’s aiming the phone at us. “If you’re as innocent as you claim, these friendly pictures won’t matter.”
Silex slinks to the other side of the bed, planting himself next to me as Brent scoots in closer. I feel trapped with a boy on either side of me and Ryan at the foot of the bed.
Click, click, click.
As Ryan snaps pictures with the phone, Brent drapes an arm around my shoulders, and Silex lays his hand on my thigh. The warmth of his hand against my cold skin causes goosebumps to rise.
“Emma, play along and smile,” Silex says, feathering his fingertips over my skin as he inches his hand higher.
“Friendly pictures,” Brent says, “Move your hand.”
“I’m just having some fun. You like fun, don’t you, Emma?” Silex asks, his fingertips slipping under my pajama shorts. “You’re going to have to use your words like a big girl, sweet Emma. Tell me what you like.”
Thump, thump, thump. My heart pounds loudly in my ears.
Click, click, click.
“That’s enough pictures.” I push Silex’s hand away.
Ryan’s glaring at the phone. “The fuck it is. I can’t use any of these. You look scared or sick.”
“I can’t trust you. You’ll use them against me,” I say through a clenched jaw.
“We’re using my phone,” Brent says. “I won’t give the pictures to Ryan unless there’s a reason to.”
“You have the pictures and get to determine when they’re used?” I say. “That gives you too much power.”
“Don’t try to manipulate or coerce my family and there won’t be any reason to use them,” Ryan says. “And if you don’t do this, I’ll know I’m right about you being a lying whore, and I will ruin your fucking life.”
“You’ve already done that,” I snap.
“If you don’t take these pictures, you’ll see that I haven’t even begun to ruin you yet.”
“What are the pictures going to prove? You’ve already got your school thinking I’m a whore.”
Ryan chuckles. “If these pictures start popping up over social media, I bet you’d lose your pretty little head.”
I spring forward, ready to grab the phone, but he backs up. “You can’t! You can’t post pictures of me online, Ryan. I’m serious.”
Ryan scoffs. “See, so superficial.” He snaps his fingers. “Emma, lean against Silex and smile. Brent, look happy.”
I feel anger building as I do what I’m told. I dig my nails into my palms as I force a smile on my face. Silex wraps his arm around my waist, and then Ryan snaps several pictures. Next, I pose with Brent’s arms around me. Pictures of us in my bed is damning evidence that we slept together.
Ryan instructs us to move by the window where he holds out a joint for me to take.
I shake my head. “I’m on probation. If anyone sees those pictures. If the judge—”
“As long as you’re innocent, nobody will see. And it’s just weed.”
I snatch the joint from him and hold it up while making a silly face as Ryan instructs. “Just a few with her and Silex now,” Ryan says, and Brent moves to sit on the bed. Ryan motions for Silex and me to get closer, and then he says, “Silex, kiss her.”
“Happily,” Silex says while I go wide-eyed and Brent says no.
“Chill, Brent. It’s just a kiss,” Ryan says.
Brent’s up and moving forward. “Not if it’s forced.”
“Fine,” Ryan barks. “Emma, kiss Silex or I’ll post these pictures and tell everyone at your new school you’re a prostitute.” Ryan gives Brent
a bored expression. “Happy? Now she wants to.”
“Fuck that, Ryan. That’s not a choice,” Brent growls, trying to snatch his phone, but Ryan blocks him.
“Emma?” Ryan says in a tone that dares me to say no.
I swallow. Fuck him for this. Ryan holds too much power over me.
“Fuck this. I’m out,” Brent says. “Sully’s going to murder you.”
“Shut up, Brent,” Ryan growls, but Brent’s already gone. “It’s just a kiss.”
I’m vacuuming the living room floor like Dad told me to do before he left to go to the gas station. Feeling eyes on me, I glance at the couch to see my dad’s friend Lenny staring at me, his mouth moving.
I click the vacuum off. “What’d you say?”
“I said, have you kissed yet?”
I feel my cheeks turning red. “No,” I mumble, turning the vacuum back on. It’s only on for a second before it turns off on its own. I look over my shoulder to see that Lenny has unplugged it.
“Why not?” he asks, leaning against the wall.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just haven’t.” I don’t tell him that the thought of kissing terrifies me. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. I’ve practiced on my hand, but I know it’s nothing like the real thing.
Lenny smirks, his brown eyes shining. “Are you scared?”
I shrug, and he laughs.
“You’re fourteen. You’ll be an adult before you’ve had your first kiss.” Lenny sets his beer on the table. “Come here. I’ll show you.”
I narrow my eyes. He’ll show me? Lenny grins, and I back toward my room. He looks ready to pounce, so I spin around and run. He grabs me around the waist, hauls me to my room, and drops me on the bed. He pins my hands above my head, straddling me as I thrash beneath him.
“Stop,” I squeak.
But Lenny doesn’t stop. He kisses me forcefully, his shoulder-length hair hanging in my face. His tongue moves around the inside of my mouth. It’s sloppy and wet. I don’t like this, and it feels like forever until he pulls away.
I’m angry and embarrassed, and he’s laughing at me. I can’t move because he’s still pinning me to the bed.
Bullies Love and Lies Page 12