Milton's Hero

by Drew Hunt

  “What?”

  “We’re crushing the comic.”

  JJ separated from Milton and looked down. Fortunately the cardboard behind the comic had kept the pages flat.

  “I’ll keep it in my locker until this afternoon. Then you and me’s going to talk about why you can’t use your own locker. We’ll go to the office and see if they can reassign you a new one. Maybe close to mine.”

  Milton sighed. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more awesome.”

  JJ shook his head. “Nope, I’m just a plain, ordinary cowboy.”

  Milton let out another breath. “I’m sorry.”

  Before JJ knew what was happening Milton stood on tiptoe, put a hand on the back of JJ’s neck and gave him a brief but firm kiss on the lips.

  * * * *

  “He did what?” Maggie asked.

  “I know, surprised the shit out of me.”

  JJ and Maggie were at her place, doing homework.

  JJ expected Maggie to be mad with him for leading Milton on, or maybe mad at Milton for kissing JJ. Instead she smiled.

  “Didn’t I say Milton has the hots for you?”

  JJ nodded, embarrassed.

  Maggie leaned over and kissed JJ’s cheek. “You’re a fag stag.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve heard of a fag hag?”

  “Yeah.”

  The lady across the hallway fit that bill. She was often throwing parties, to which JJ was never allowed because he was too young, but from what Calvin and his daddy had said, everyone who attended was gay.

  “Yeah, but—”

  “The male equivalent is a fag stag.” Maggie started to run her hands along his shoulders and down his chest. “You’re a magnet for gay men, and although you’re straight, you’re totally comfortable in their presence.”

  JJ thought about it. Sure, he had no problem with gays, heck, his daddy and his daddy’s lover were gay, and so was Milton.

  “Yeah.”

  Maggie was now petting his chest, causing a reaction to occur below his belt line.

  “Like you said, I’m straight, and I got, uh, certain needs, if you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  “If you need it, you know where the bathroom is.”

  “You gonna come with?”

  She smiled. “I’m sure you can handle things just fine by yourself.”

  JJ banged his head against the wall and let out a groan of frustration.

  * * * *

  “You thought any more about going out for a sport next semester?” JJ asked Milton during lunch on Monday.

  Milton shook his head no. “I don’t think I’d be any good.”

  JJ didn’t think it was a case of being good or bad; it would give Milton another outlet, maybe help build up some confidence and some muscles so he could better defend himself.

  “Competitive sports aren’t my thing.”

  “You could do weightlifting, that doesn’t have to be competitive.”

  Milton, who had just put a forkful of pasta into his mouth, coughed.

  JJ stood and moved to behind Milton’s chair. “You okay?”

  “I’m okay,” Milton said through his coughs.

  JJ resumed his seat. “What’s wrong with lifting weights?”

  Milton dropped his fork, held his arms out, and did a double biceps pose. “Puny, aren’t they?”

  “You’d start out with light weights.”

  “That’s me, a lightweight.”

  JJ determined to revisit the subject later, as Milton clearly wasn’t receptive at the moment. He was surprised Milton was still talking to him after Friday and the kiss.

  The conversation at the lunch table, such as it was, moved on to that weekend’s celebrations. “Me and Maggie went to the Halloween parade in The Village, then we went on to a party.”

  Milton nodded. “Nice.”

  “You do anything?” JJ asked when it seemed Milton wasn’t going to add anything else.

  Milton shook his head. “Just watched a couple of scary movies on TV.”

  JJ was about to ask if he’d invited some friends to watch with him, but realized in time that Milton probably didn’t have that many friends. “What did you watch?”

  “You’ll think I’m a loser,” Milton smiled, “but then you probably do anyway.”

  “Milton,” JJ sighed. They’d had this discussion more than once.

  “Okay, sorry. I watched a couple of British classic horror movies, you probably won’t have heard of them.”

  “Try me,” JJ said just before pushing a forkful of chicken salad into his mouth.

  “Well, first I watched The Creeping Experiment.”

  JJ chewed.

  “See, I knew you wouldn’t have heard of it.”

  JJ held up a hand, swallowed, then said, “Hold your horses, man. It was the first of the Hammer Horror movies, released in England as The Quatermass Xperiment and starred Brian Donlevy.”

  Milton’s face reflected his shock.

  “See, I’m not a dumb jock.”

  “That’s something I’ve never accused you of,” Milton gushed.

  Before Milton could embarrass him by singing his praises any further, JJ asked, “What other movie did you watch?”

  “X the Unknown.”

  “Sounds like my algebra homework.”

  “So you haven’t heard of that movie then,” Milton said, almost sounding triumphal.

  Back up came JJ’s hand and he spent the next five minutes describing the radioactive plot and asking Milton how believable he thought it was. Milton was impressed.

  “Maybe I should come clean. Calvin likes classic horror and sometimes we watch one together when my daddy’s asleep or working or something.”

  “Cool.” Then Milton’s face fell.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  JJ rolled his eyes. He hated when Milton closed up on him like that. “Come on, what?”

  Milton sighed. “You’re so lucky, having someone who’ll watch horror movies with you. My mom won’t. Heck, she even cries at Bambi.”

  JJ snickered but didn’t tell Milton how Calvin did the same thing. “You’ll have to come over to my place sometime and meet Calvin. You’ve got a lot in common.”

  “Yeah. Sounds good.” Milton nodded.

  JJ realized Milton thought it was an empty promise, so he was determined to prove otherwise.

  Taking out his phone, JJ called Calvin’s private line.

  “What’s up, bud?”

  JJ explained about Milton, and Calvin said he was welcome to come any time. JJ asked Milton if he was free that night, figuring the less time he gave the guy, the less chance he’d have to think up an excuse.

  Milton nodded to say he was free, so the arrangements were made and JJ hung up.

  “There, all set. Now all we gotta do is get you a new locker,” JJ said, remembering they hadn’t done that Friday.

  “It’s okay, you don’t have—”

  Up came JJ’s hand once again. “It isn’t negotiable.”

  Milton shook his head and let out a long breath.

  * * * *

  Milton was quiet on the elevator ride. JJ took this to be nerves, but didn’t know what the guy could be nervous about.

  The doors slid open and JJ stepped into the hallway, closely followed by Milton.

  “Wow.”

  JJ looked around, but couldn’t see what had Milton so awed. It was just a hallway.

  “This must be the original 1920’s molding,” Milton said, touching the wall.

  “Uh, I guess.” JJ hadn’t taken any notice of it before.

  Unlocking his front door, JJ explained that it’d be another hour before Calvin got home, then maybe another hour after that before his dad showed up.

  “Wow, it’s so big.”

  “Don’t start that again,” JJ smirked.

  “Huh? I was meaning your apartment. It looks pre-war. Just look at those high ceilings.” Milton craned his
neck upward. “You’re so lucky.”

  JJ told Milton to make himself comfortable before he went into his bedroom to change out of his school uniform. He knew how lucky he was. If it hadn’t been for Calvin, JJ thought, shuddering, he and his daddy would still be in Texas in that shitty house that was falling down around them.

  After pulling off his sweater and shirt, he saw Milton coming into the room.

  “You got a king-sized bed. Awesome.”

  “Uh, yeah.” JJ hoped Milton wasn’t getting any ideas. Just in case, JJ put his shirt back on. He’d change later, in the bathroom.

  “Those your baseball trophies? Wow, there’s a lot.”

  “No, almost all of them are my dad’s. He used to play in the minor leagues.”

  “Awesome! Can I have a closer look at them?”

  JJ shrugged. “Sure.”

  He lost count of the number of times Milton said, “Wow” or “Oh, God” as he was shown the medals, plaques, trophies, and press cuttings that charted John Brockwell’s career in the minor leagues.

  Milton paused on one press clipping that showed JJ’s daddy in full stretch just after pitching. “He’s hot!”

  JJ rolled his eyes.

  “Why isn’t he still playing?” Milton asked when JJ handed him the last scrapbook.

  “He injured his arm.” JJ turned to the pages that documented the injury. “And he’d be too old to be playing now anyway.”

  “He looks just like you, or I should say, you look just like him.”

  JJ smiled. “A lot of people say that. Guess it’s the blond hair.”

  “And the eyes, and the face, and the wide shoulders, and the…” Milton shook himself. “Sorry.”

  Just then they heard a key turn in the lock. Milton started and JJ placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

  “Come on and meet Calvin. You two’ve got a lot in common.”

  “Don’t think so,” Milton mumbled, “He’s got a hot jock for a boyfriend…and I haven’t.”

  But JJ’s prediction was proved correct—Calvin and Milton hit it off immediately. JJ had never seen Milton open up so much and so quickly.

  “So, you’re named after John Milton. I remember reading Paradise Lost in English class. The teacher, Miss Aldridge, you remember her, JJ, the old librarian back in Parish Creek?”

  JJ nodded.

  “She was a stern task master, uh, mistress.”

  Milton squirmed and lost much of his previous confidence. “No, uh, I’m named after my grandfather, who was named after Milton Berle. I know, dorky or what? I mean, I’ve seen pictures, the guy was pretty ugly.”

  Calvin laughed, which immediately put JJ on the defensive.

  “Sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you.” Calvin touched Milton’s hand. “I grant you Milton Berle wasn’t the most handsome of men, but legend has it that he, uh,” Calvin moved his palms apart, “was blessed in the dick department.”

  Milton laughed and started to relax. “I hadn’t heard that.”

  The conversation moved on to Calvin telling stories about his time in high school, Milton nodding in understanding and sharing a few experiences of his own. JJ had to concentrate on not getting angry at what had gone on, both in his own school and back in Texas twenty some years earlier.

  Calvin was able to get Milton to talk about why he hadn’t used his old locker. “It was next to a girl, and she would squirt stuff through the vents, first it was perfume, then paint. Once I think it was urine. How she got that in there I don’t know.”

  “You say a girl did this shit?” JJ asked.

  Milton nodded, looking ashamed. “A group of them. Pathetic, aren’t I?”

  Calvin reached over and gave Milton a hug. “Sometimes girls can be even crueler than boys.”

  “Why didn’t you report it?” JJ asked. “The school’s got a zero-tolerance policy about bullying.”

  Milton didn’t say anything.

  “Shame,” Calvin said on Milton’s behalf. “It isn’t easy, being a geek, not able to fight back, and when girls are doing the bullying, that’s even worse. And if you tell, then you’d get a reputation as a snitch, which only adds to the problem.”

  Milton nodded.

  Calvin tried to lighten the mood by telling them of the times when he’d had his head pushed down the toilet. “They were called Swirlies.”

  Milton nodded. “They still are.”

  “And if someone had taken a crap first, they were called Chunky Swirlies.”

  Both Milton and JJ grimaced.

  “Heavens, is that the time?” Calvin stood. “I better start supper. My man likes me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen when he gets home.”

  Milton’s eyes got big.

  Calvin laughed. “That was a joke.”

  Milton asked if he could help, At first Calvin declined, but Milton insisted. This surprised JJ, as he’d never seen his friend assert himself before.

  Calvin and Milton bonded further as they chopped and sliced, broiled and boiled.

  “You’ve got great culinary skills. Could be quite valuable—you know what they say about the way to a man’s heart,” Calvin said when Milton presented him with a board of chopped veggies.

  “Mom works two jobs, so I like to have a meal ready for her when she gets home.”

  They heard the front door close and Brock called out, “Something smells good.”

  “I had help,” Calvin shouted back.

  “Oh?” Then JJ realized his daddy probably wouldn’t know that he’d invited Milton over. “Just let me wash up and I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “No need, I like your man smell,” Calvin said, making for the hallway. Obviously he’d forgotten about Milton.

  The next few minutes were embarrassing. Despite having been a couple for over three years, Calvin and Brock behaved like love-starved teenagers whenever they met up after being apart for a few hours.

  JJ turned to Milton to apologize for the face sucking that was going on in the hallway, but he immediately realized apologies weren’t necessary. Milton was glued to the action, his mouth agape. JJ wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been a line of drool hanging off Milton’s chin.

  “So hot!” Milton whispered.

  Finally having had enough, JJ turned back to his dads and cleared his throat. “Knock it off you two. We have a visitor.”

  The men parted.

  JJ did the introductions. “This is Milton Katz, he’s in my grade, shares a couple of classes with Maggie. Milton, this is my dad.”

  “Howdy,” Brock said, touching the brim of the Stetson he hadn’t yet taken off.

  “Uh, hi,” Milton squeaked. “JJ showed me your baseball trophies. You’re awesome!”

  Oh brother. JJ rolled his eyes.

  “That old crap, I don’t know why he keeps it.”

  “It isn’t crap,” both JJ and Calvin said at the same time.

  Brock took off his hat and approached, holding out his hand. “Glad to finally meet you, uh…”

  “Milton,” Milton reminded.

  “Paradise Lost.” Brock shuddered. Turning to Calvin, he said, “Miss Aldridge, God she was a total bit—”

  “Milton Berle,” Calvin cut in. “You remember me mentioning him.” He repeated the gesture with his hands.

  “Jeez!” JJ moaned.

  Milton laughed.

  “Junior’s told us a lot about you.” Brock slapped Milton on the shoulder.

  “He has?” Milton was back to squeaking.

  “Yeah, says you can draw really well.”

  JJ was thankful his daddy didn’t elaborate. He’d told his dads a few days ago about what Maggie had said about the new projects the art class had started. Milton had decided to design a comic strip and, according to Maggie, Milton’s superhero bore a striking resemblance to JJ.

  “I enjoy drawing, but I don’t think I could make a career out of it, though.”

  “I don’t know,” Calvin said. “Good graphic artists are hard to find. Just li
ke good contractors.” He turned back to Brock and the two began kissing again.

  “Uh, excuse me, I need the bathroom,” Milton said, darting past the two men.

  JJ let out an exasperated breath. He had a fair idea what Milton was about to get up to.

  “Dads! Get a room!”

  They had the decency to look sheepish.

  “You’re only jealous that Maggie doesn’t let you get hot and heavy with her,” Calvin said.

  JJ closed his eyes, knowing there was more than a grain of truth in that.

  * * * *

  Dinner went well, although it was obvious to everyone except Brock that Milton was smitten with the elder Brockwell. In some ways JJ found it a relief that Milton’s attention had shifted away from him, but to have him focus on his daddy instead, that was all kinds of awkward.

  “How did you two meet?” Milton asked the older men once Calvin had served the apple pie and ice cream.

  JJ thought he’d told Milton the story, but obviously the guy wanted to hear it again.

  “It wasn’t exactly love at first sight.” Calvin laid down his spoon. “In fact, back in high school I thought he,” he pointed a thumb at Brock, “was a total asshole.”

  Brock laughed. “I can’t deny it. I was so deep in the closet I had wood splinters in my ass.”

  “Gross, dad,” JJ groaned.

  Milton snickered. “So when did you two fall in love?”

  JJ rolled his eyes. His friend was such a sap.

  The older men spent the next few minutes explaining how Calvin had gone back to Texas to sell his parents’ house because they’d retired to Florida, and how, after seeing the painted sign on the side of Brock’s truck he remembered that John Brockwell Sr. ran a construction business in the area, so called to get an estimate for fixing up the place.

  “But instead of John Brockwell, Senior,” Calvin explained, “a total stud dressed in fancy cowboy gear showed up on my folks’ front porch and I knew, whatever price he asked, I’d give him the job.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Brock admitted.

  “It was then,” Calvin looked from JJ’s daddy to Milton, “that I began to fall in love with him.”

  “I didn’t know that either,” Brock said.

  “So romantic, finding each other after so long apart,” Milton sighed.

  “Oh, brother.” JJ rolled his eyes. “Cue the violins.”

  “Shush, I think it’s wonderful,” Milton told him.