by Emilia Rose
“Maybe he isn’t…” Rachel’s cheek flushed. “...well-endowed and is embarrassed.”
My eyes widened. “Oh, no, he is definitely well-endowed.” My fingers grazed against my throat, remembering how big he felt inside of it when he was thrusting it down my throat, when all I wanted was more and more and more.
“Maybe he’s waiting until you turn eighteen,” Derek said, drawing his fingers over the calluses on his hand. “He might think it’s weird that you’re still underage.”
I furrowed my brows. “He sure didn’t think it was weird when he was shoving himself down my throat.”
Rachel’s cheek flushed a darker shade of red. “Oh, Moon Goddess, you’ve gone pretty far.” She grabbed my hands again. “Wait, you’re not eighteen yet? When’s your birthday?”
“In a few days.”
Her eyes widened. “We need to have a party! How are you celebrating?”
A party? I just planned on spending some time with Derek and my parents. I had never had a big birthday party before. I didn’t even know who I’d invite.
They started talking excitedly to each other. And I smiled sadly at them. Joining another pack for my birthday would be harder than I thought, and not just because of Roman. I would have to make new friends and try to stay in touch with the friends I had now.
My frown deepened when I gazed at Derek. I hoped that I could find some time to hang out with him.
Derek beamed at her, then at me. “I’m throwing her a party at my place.”
“Are you inviting Roman?” Rachel nudged me. “Maybe he’ll finally make his move.” She turned to Derek, bouncing up and down in her seat. “Wait, do you think her mate is in this pack?”
“Maybe her mate is that Lycan that she was talking to.”
“Mr. Beck would say differently.”
I shook my head. “Mr. Beck doesn’t know anything about my mate,” I said. He was always thinking the craziest things.
Later that night, I laid in my bed. Trying to convince myself that this was the right choice. Trying to convince myself that leaving Mom, Dad, Derek, Rachel, Dr. Jakkobs, and… Roman was the right choice. Leave them to achieve my dreams and goals.
Could I do it? Could I leave for at least an entire year? Surely, I wouldn’t see anyone that often once I left. Ryker had told me that Lycans were busy all the time. With training at night, sleeping during the day, and hunting the rogues in our spare time, I didn’t know if or when I’d find a moment to visit them. My heart sunk in my chest.
I opened my curtains and sat on the windowsill next to my Moonflowers, gazing out into the night. Roman sat, in his wolf form, in the forest and was watching me. I leaned against the window, my fingers grazing against the keychain from Luna Raya.
She thought I could be more, and I would be more. I had to let Roman go, no matter how hard it would be, to become everything that I was meant to be.
Isabella
“Tomorrow’s your big day!” Mom said, hopping onto my bed with a big grin on her face and pulling me into a hug. Her mate’s necklace felt warm against my skin, and I hoped that this was the right choice. “Fingers crossed that Derek’s your mate!”
I smiled and gazed at the Moonflowers on the windowsill, twinkling brighter than they had ever twinkled.
“I remember when you were just a little pup,” she said. “Now look at you, about to be a woman, about to find your mate, and about to settle down.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I can’t wait when you meet him—or her. When you lay your eyes on him for the first time, when you see his smile, when you smell his scent… you’ll never forget that moment. It’ll be the best moment of your life, Izzy.”
My wolf suddenly felt terrible. I wrapped my arms around myself, took a deep breath, and hoped that I wouldn’t cry. How could I leave this? Leave this support? Leave this love? “It’s okay, Mom,” I said.
But I didn’t know if it really was.
She crawled off of my bed, placed a kiss on my forehead, and left the room. About twenty minutes later, Dad’s snores drifted through my closed door. I tiptoed out of my room and gazed into theirs. They were smiling as they slept, Mom cuddled into Dad’s chest. I couldn’t wait to be that way with my mate soon. Smiling. Happy. Loved.
A tear slipped down my cheek. Though that guilt had continued to build and build until I was nearly drowning in it, becoming a Lycan was my goal. They had always supported my goals before. If I left, I was sure they would support that decision too.
I walked out of the house and through the woods, hoping that I wouldn’t attract the attention of any guards. The forest was quieter than the other night when I left pack property. No midnight howling. No wolves running. No Roman.
The packhouse came into my view, and I walked toward it like I was drawn to it. I lingered outside his bedroom window. Every moment that I had been here, every moment that I had been with him, saw him, crushed on him in high school flashed through my mind.
But one moment lingered the longest.
It was Roman’s eighteenth birthday. Fifteen-year-old me, lingered in these woods, in this exact spot, watching him lead practice like he had done for three years. Sweat dripped down his forehead, his brown hair was tousled on his head, his muscles were swollen under the early morning sun.
In the middle of a practice match against Cayden’s dad—our beta at the time—he gazed at me and stopped. His green eyes shimmered with golden streaks, and I swore that I could hear his heart racing. He walked right away from his match and toward me, scolding me for being here when I should’ve been in school.
Though tense, when he grabbed my arm and shoved me through the woods to the school, he relaxed. He didn’t let me go, even when he had brought me to the principal’s office. He remained close to me, and I wished that we could still be that close.
This decision would tear us apart. But he had torn us apart when he told me I wasn’t good enough to be a warrior.
Before I had second thoughts, I ran off of the property and found Ryker waiting for me about a hundred yards to the west. My life was about to change for the better. My life was about to change for the better. My life was about to change for the better.
During the hour run, I tried to convince myself.
Every one of the Lycans waited for me by the bonfire. “There are two traditions we have for every new member,” Ryker said, standing in front of the group and in front of me. The fire glowed off of his eyes, and I smiled. “They hunt to prove their abilities and then they get the Lycan symbol tattooed on themselves to commit to us.”
I bounced up and down on my toes. I never thought that I would be here. I never thought this opportunity would come to me so easily. Not after Roman.
“Are you ready?” Ryker asked me, his woodsy scent overwhelmingly strong.
After I nodded my head, Ryker told me to run to the east, where the rogues had been torturing some alphas by taking the pups in their packs. I had a goal. Kill one of them.
I placed my nose to the ground, picking up and tracking the scent of a rogue to a nearby pack. The Lycans followed me, their paws hitting the ground like a thunderous roar, purposefully making it more difficult for me.
At the edge of the property, a rogue stood and watched a couple guards who were oblivious to his scent. Then he leapt into the air, right under the moonlight, about to kill him. I sprinted forward, leapt up, and sunk my teeth right into the rogue’s neck before he could kill anyone.
We tumbled to the ground, somersaulting over and over until I landed on top of him. The rogue struggled under me, but I sunk my teeth deeper into his neck and ripped out his throat, letting the blood rain down on his hollow face and earning the respect of the Lycans behind me.
After we walked back to the Lycan’s property, Ryker gave me a spare change of clothes. I changed into them, without showering, and walked with him and the rest of the Lycans to their tattoo parlor.
My final task: to tattoo the Lycan symbol on my body. A permanent symbol of my allegiance t
o them.
I sat down in the chair, trying to still my trembling hands. I wasn’t nervous for the needle, but my wolf was whimpering, begging me to stop, forcing me to think about everyone’s reactions to this act of betrayal.
Ryker sat next to me as others chatted with each other, smiled at me, drank, and had a good time celebrating. He placed a hand on my hand, steadying it. “Are you sure about this? You can back out now. Nobody would judge you for it.”
No. Not now. I couldn’t back out.
“This is what I wanted for ages, Ryker.” I shook my head. “There is no going back now.” I gazed around the room, taking in the hundreds of pictures of previous Lycans who had been tattooed here and the rogue canines hanging from the ceiling as trophies from previous Lycan additions.
“Once you have the tattoo, it is final. You will have to train with us for at least a year,” Ryker said. Giving me every single opportunity to decline.
“This is what I want. I’ll be valued here. I will get to protect everyone that I care about and I will achieve my goals.” There was no better option. Luna Raya would be so proud of me. “Let’s do this.”
He paused for a moment, then nodded. “You may get the tattoo anywhere you’d like.” He pulled up his sleeve, letting me see the wolf tattoo on the back of his hand and the hundreds of Moonflowers crawling up the side of it. “And for each rogue you eliminate, you’re allowed to tattoo a Moonflower next to your wolf.”
I smiled down at his arm, getting butterflies in my stomach. I brushed my finger against his skin, getting chills. He had killed so many rogues and eliminated their evils from this earth. “How many do you have?”
“Moonflowers?” he asked, watching me and smiling. “240.”
My eyes widened. “Jeez.”
He chuckled lowly, and my heart raced. “You’ll be there soon, Bella. I know you will.”
“I want mine on my back,” I said, removing my shirt and my sports bra and leaning forward in the chair to cover my breasts. The tattoo artist placed a stencil on my upper back and drew the wolf.
When he started the tattoo gun, I grabbed Ryker’s hand. Not because it would hurt but because I was still trying to convince myself. But, as soon as the needle touched my skin, I sighed in relief. A wave of pride rolled through me, and I knew that this was the right choice.
The tattoo took almost an hour, and Ryker stayed by my side the whole time. He stared at me, not saying a word, and drew a finger down my forearm to sooth me. My wolf howled inside of me, not wanting him to touch us. It was after 12am, officially my 18th birthday, and she recognized that he wasn’t our mate. Nobody here was.
When the wolf tattoo was complete, the artist started on my first Moonflower. I watched him tattoo me in the mirror and smiled. This was everything I had been waiting for and more. Why had Roman overlooked me so easily?
This was the best birthday I ever had, and I hoped it would just get better, but I knew that it probably wouldn’t. I would have to tell everyone that I was leaving. Mom, Dad, Derek, Roman.
Once the artist wiped the blood off my back, Ryker smiled at me. “Welcome to the pack, Bella. Your tattoo will heal within the next few hours, thanks to your wolf’s quick healing abilities. I will let you spend your eighteenth birthday with your friends, family, and pack. But I expect you back tomorrow.” He handed me my shirt. “And don’t forget that you will need to tell Roman that you are leaving his pack to join the Lycans.”
I nodded my head and swallowed hard, not sure how I felt at that moment. This was real. There was no going back.
Isabella
Music blared through Derek’s parent’s windows for my birthday party. Mom and Dad stood behind me with a plate of meatloaf that smelled good for once. Dad ruffled my hair. “You ready to meet your mate?”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom has actually convinced you that Derek’s my mate?”
He gazed at her, then leaned toward me, smiling. “No, but we’ll keep that between me and you.”
Rachel opened the door, wearing a blue party hat. “Izzy! Happy birthday!” She pulled me into the room of sweaty bodies.
Nearly everyone in the pack was here, even Vanessa and Jane. Rachel swore that Derek didn’t invite either of them, and I was sure they just showed up without an invite anyway. That was kind of their thing.
Derek saw me from across the room, dancing his way around everyone. He handed me a drink and placed a big fat kiss on my cheek. “Eighteen never looked so good on you.”
Rachel hopped up in front of me. “Oh, I almost forgot! I have a surprise for you!” She disappeared into another room. “A special someone wanted to see you today!”
Roman.
A few moments later, she wheeled Mr. Beck into the room.
Oh.
“Hey, Hey, Hey! Happy birthday!” he yelled. He grabbed my hand, leaning in close, and nudged me. “I want to hear those details from the other night that you promised me.”
“I never promised you any details.”
“So, there are details!” He burst into a fit of laughter, his dentures nearly falling out again, and smacked his knee. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from him.”
Throughout the night, I waited in the corner of the room with my parents and with Derek for Roman to walk through the front door. I didn’t know what I would say or do when I saw him. But I needed to tell him tonight that I had joined the Lycans, so I hoped that he would show up.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell anyone until the end of the night. I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s day. It was a shitty thing to keep this to myself until the very last moment, but a part of me couldn’t admit it out loud. This day was supposed to be happy, especially for my family.
At 9pm, Jane and Vanessa walked up to me. “Have you mated yet?” Vanessa asked, voice tense over the music.
“We’re not mates, Vanessa,” I said.
Jane grabbed my hand, intertwining my fingers like she did the other day. “My brother said that he couldn’t make it tonight. Something came up.”
“Oh.”
My heart sunk. Roman wasn’t coming? He wasn’t going to wish me a happy birthday? I thought maybe he’d come for one or two moments. Hell, out of everyone who Derek invited, I wanted him to come the most. I wanted to see him on my special day to make sure we weren’t mates.
After Jane broke the news to me, I walked out onto Derek’s porch and sat on a stair, gazing up at the stars. People left the party, wishing me a goodbye on the way out. I smiled as widely as I could, saying goodbye to them for the last time.
At midnight, Derek peeked his head out of the house, asking me if I wanted him to bring me home. I tugged him into a hug, a tear slipping from my eye, but pushed it away before he could see it. “No, thanks, Derek.” I needed time to think to myself.
When he pulled away and I saw the abundance of love in his eyes, I wanted to blurt out everything that was happening. But it wouldn’t come out. I tried really hard to tell him, but I couldn’t admit to it.
Vanessa pulled him back into the room, and I smiled at the closed door. I walked down the porch stairs, starting for my house and just simmering in a heap of sadness, when I smelled it.
Mint.
So strong.
So good.
So intoxicating.
My wolf howled and pulled me in the opposite direction. I gazed around the woods, my heart racing as I tried to find the source of the smell. My mate was here.
The woods were so dark, the only light was coming from the full moon above it. I walked around the corner of the house, closing my eyes and breathing in my mate. A branch cracked in the forest, and I stopped.
Roman emerged from the woods, his chest bare and sweaty. And, as soon as I saw him, my heart stopped.
Mate!
He smiled when he saw me, his golden eyes devouring mine. “Mine,” he said, walking toward me. “Finally, mine.”
Isabella
My wolf did flips in my stomach. Mate. Mate. Mate. Ma
te.
I gazed at him, taking in every inch of his body. The way his abdomen flexed. The way his lip curled. The way his eyes glowed under the moon. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t real.
This was the best moment of my entire life, better than the way Mom described meeting Dad. This was so fucking exhilarating.
Staring at me like I was the only thing that ever mattered, he walked to me, snatched my chin in his hand, and smirked. This was real. His fingers ran gently down my neck, making me shiver. “Mine.”
“Yours?”
“Mine.”
Despite my wolf wanting me to never let him go, I pushed him away from me, my lips curling into a grin. “Prove it.”
In one moment, he had turned me around and pushed me against the nearest tree. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and brushed his canines up the side of my neck, lingering in the spot that he would mark me. “I could fuck you right here.”
“Could?” I mocked, pushing my hips back against his and feeling his hardness against my ass. “That doesn’t sound too promising.” He growled in my ear, and I immediately clenched. Forget being a brat. Forget trying to tease him. I couldn’t handle this anymore. He was what I wanted, and he was my mate. “Take what you want, Roman. Take me,” I whispered. We both knew we had waited way too long for this.
He grabbed my ass through my dress, squeezing it. “You’re tempting, Isabella, so fucking tempting.” He placed a kiss just below my ear. “I’m going to take you home and finally do everything I’ve been craving to do to you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
I turned toward him, pulling him closer. “I can’t wait that long.”
“If I could wait three fucking years for you, you can wait five minutes.”
My smile widened. “Make it three, and I’ll try not to yawn while you fuck me.”
He picked me up, his hands under my ass, and walked me toward the packhouse, his eyes darkening. Through the walk, my body buzzed with pure excitement. Roman’s minty scent drifted into my nostrils, and I sighed in delight. I couldn’t think about anything except him.