Ethereal: The Light in the Shadow

by Zoe Knights

  “Eden…” Sam murmured from the corner of his mouth, warning to his tone.

  But, Rae cut him off with a beautiful and enchanting laugh. “Let her speak, boy,” she said with interest piquing her tone. “What is it you think you know, girl, that I do not?”

  Eddie stood forward bravely. “I know that no one else seems willing to give him a chance,” she said angrily. “That everyone assumes something of him because of the circumstance of his birth,” she continued. “And I may not know about any of that…” she paused, holding the dark gaze of this mysterious woman. “But I know him. And he is good. And he deserves better than the way you are treating him right now.”

  “Is that so?” Rae moved closed to Eddie slowly, but the moment she was in arms reach, Sam stepped forward, holding his arm in front of Eddie defensively.

  “Stay away from her,” he warned lowly.

  Rae ignored him, tilting her head to the side as she merely inspected Eddie curiously. “What is your name, child?”

  Eddie swallowed, but she kept her gaze strong. “Eden,” she said firmly.

  “I wonder, Eden, garden of delight, if you would say the same after you knew of whom you truly speak.”

  “Of course I would,” Eddie said back without hesitation. “I don’t need to know that to know him.”

  Rae chuckled quietly. “Tell me then… what do you propose I do with him?”

  Eddie glanced hesitantly at Sam who had been staring at her with an unreadable frown this whole time. “Answer his questions,” she said quietly. “Is that what you would want, Sam?”

  Sam looked at her a moment longer before finally nodding slowly and turning his eyes on Rae.

  “Very well, boy…” Rae still sounded amused. “What questions burn on your tongue?”

  Sam clenched his jaw. “I want to know about my mother,” he said quietly. “I want to know what she was like. I want to know how she died and why and… and who you are. And why you are here.”

  “So many questions…” Rae mused. “Come with me then, sit down. We shall talk.”

  She turned away, leading them to a living room further into the small house.

  Eddie glanced at Sam before the two followed slowly, Louisa silently behind them.

  Rae was already sitting the table, her dark eyes watching them come to join her.

  “Why don’t you put some tea on, Louisa?” she said sweetly, her gaze not leaving Sam’s.

  Louisa nodded quickly before darting to the kitchen.

  “Louisa can tell you of your mother when she returns,” Rae said quietly. “I can tell you that she died because of you,” she added lowly. “And that the moment he could, your father took you and left her bloody and alone. He never loved her.”

  Eddie’s stomach churned, and she peered at Sam, but he was not looking at her. “My fault,” he repeated quietly. “You say that because it was my birth that killed her.”

  Rae nodded once. “Your existence. The moment you were to be her death was inevitable.”

  Sam clenched his jaw, his eyes tight. “Who are you?” he demanded. “You haven’t answered that. Nor explained why you are here.”

  Rae smiled slowly just as Louisa came back, setting a pot of tea on the table carefully, before hurrying off to bring back a few mugs. “Well I am family too, Samael,” Rae said quietly. “I am your father’s sister. My only difference is that I care. And that is why I am here. To protect the remainder of the Finley family from anyone tainted by my brother.”

  Eddie felt her breath catch in her throat. For if that were true, it was likely whatever this woman was… she was not human. What she could truly be chorused in the back of Eddie’s mind: Angel of God, Angel of God, Angel of God…

  Louisa sat down with them now, and she seemed nervous. “Tea, anyone?” she asked a little shakily. Both Sam and Eddie shook their heads, but Rae took a mug.

  “Louisa, tell the boy of your sister,” Rae instructed.

  Eddie turned to watch as Louisa looked at Sam, her own brown eyes very sad.

  “She was… beautiful,” she said softly. “Kind and generous of heart. I… warned her to stay away from your father. But she would never listen,” Louisa’s eyes flickered to Eddie and Eddie’s stomach churned uncomfortably. “She claimed she saw what others could not. She claimed she loved him. And she believed that he loved her.”

  Eddie looked to Sam, she noticed his eyes were incredibly tight, and they glistened under the lights.

  “Sounds a little familiar, does it not?” Rae murmured lowly, her eyes looking pointedly between Eddie and Sam.

  Sam swallowed thickly. “I’m not him,” he said in a voice that was rough and barely legible. “I am not the same as him.”

  Rae smiled just slightly, but it did not reach her eyes. “Perhaps not,” she mused. “That much was evidenced in the doorway. But your blood is, and always will be tainted with darkness. And you do not yet know within yourself which path you will choose,” her dark eyes glimmered, and even Sam seemed unable to look away. “Only after that day comes will I be able to help you.”

  Sam’s brow furrowed even further. “Who said I want your help?” he hissed lowly.

  Rae shook her head slowly. “You may not. Or you may. I do not yet know.”

  Sam stood up with such abruptness, his chair fell to the floor with noisy clutter. “I will never want your help,” he said lowly. “I didn’t come here to make any deals with your kind,” he continued, and behind the anger that was taking charge of his voice, Eddie was becoming better and better at hearing the underlying fear. He looked to her suddenly. “Come on,” he said gruffly. “We’re leaving.”

  Eddie hurried to follow, her chair scratching noisily across the floor and she glanced one last time at the two women at the table before darting after Sam.

  “You fear him…” Rae’s voice followed them out the doorway. “And that is wise… but one day soon you will have to make a choice.”

  Eddie looked at Sam, but he did not return her gaze. His eyes were hard, his fists clenched and he shoved the front door open, the cold wind from outside buffeting into them.

  Eddie jogged after him with a shiver.

  He continued to walk furiously down the street and alongside him from the shadow of the building Eddie saw Neeshka appear, dark and looming.

  “I know,” Sam growled lowly. “I realised that the moment I went in. She had wards,” he hissed. “I wasn’t trying to keep you out.”

  Neeshka growled lowly.

  “Do not tell him,” Sam’s eyes flashed, and Eddie saw it, her heart stopping momentarily as she watched warm brown turn to fiery embers. “I want nothing from her. I won’t return here again.”

  He looked at Eddie suddenly, his dark eyes not as fiery as before, but the brown was tinged with burgundy. “You should never have come here,” he hissed fiercely.

  Eddie swallowed, her stomach flipping with fear; but not of him, despite his anger. “I know,” she said quickly. “I know, Sam. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But… but if she said she could help, shouldn’t-”

  “I do not want her help!” Sam said viciously. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” his eyes flickered between hers, pain pinching his brow. “You don’t know me. Not really. And she… Rae… was right,” he continued lowly. “If you knew… if you really knew you wouldn’t have said the things you did. I know that. And I can’t… I can’t take you down with me so just…” he broke off, shaking his head and looking away. “Just leave me alone…” he muttered before turning around and continuing away from her down the street.

  “She was not right,” Eddie growled, anger entering her tone now as she ran after him. “Whatever you are Sam – it doesn’t change who you are!” she urged angrily. “Not…” her voice softened this time. “Not to me.”

  Sam hung his head, stopping in his tracks while a ragged, but angry huff spilled from his lips. “That doesn’t mean anything when you don’t know what you’re saying,” he said stiffly through hi
s teeth, coming to a halt, but not meeting her gaze.

  “I do know what I’m saying,” Eddie said lowly, her brow furrowed as she waited for Sam to look at her.

  Sam growled in frustration before hissing something to Neeshka in a language Eddie did not understand. The hound slinked away into the shadows, disappearing after her glowing red eyes surveyed Eddie one last time.

  “Eden, we can’t do this,” Sam hissed, turning his angry eyes back on her. “No matter what you think, you don’t truly know-”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Sam. Do you think I’m an idiot?!” Eddie cut in suddenly, her outburst making Sam’s eyes widen in shock. “I know what you are!”

  Sam froze, his gaze unreadable and he stared at her.

  Eddie breathed carefully. “I… I know who you are…” she continued softly.

  “You can’t,” the words fell from Sam’s mouth. “You can’t know. Otherwise I… he said if… if anyone knew then they… they could – you… well, you can’t know!”

  “Well he must have been lying or wrong,” Eddie said firmly. “Or… or maybe it’s because you didn’t reveal it. I don’t know… honestly, I didn’t fully believe it until… about ten minutes ago…” Eddie’s voice shook slightly as she said this, for her mind was imploding behind her anger and her fear. She felt entirely overwhelmed, and panic was seeping through her skin. “I mean, everyone’s heard of a devil’s trap…” she continued finally, watching Sam stiffen, his reaction enough to give Eddie affirmation. “It… makes sense if you’re willing to believe it,” she added quietly, her voice shaking obviously now as for some reason part of her wanted to cry.

  Sam still had not spoken, but the anger had faded from his eyes, at least Eddie thought it had. To be honest, she could not read a single emotion swimming within those dark irises.

  “Please… please say something,” she almost begged.

  Sam finally moved, darting forward to grasp Eddie by the arm. “We can’t talk here,” he murmured suddenly, pulling her quickly, but his grip was gentle as he took them down the street.

  He did not stop walking till they reached a small park and he took her to the centre away from all trees and shadow of any kind.

  He dropped her arm quickly, turning to face her, his eyes wild. “What are you saying?” he demanded lowly, almost desperately. “Tell me… exactly…”

  Eddie breathed quickly, her eyes flickering between his drowning gaze. “God’s real,” she whispered back.

  Sam seemed lost for words again for a moment, his brow puckering seriously. “How… how long have you thought this?” he murmured.

  Eddie swallowed. “I… I don’t know. A few weeks?”

  Sam exhaled slowly, and Eddie desperately tried to read what he was thinking. “Are you ok?” he asked her earnestly, his voice very tender this time, taking Eddie by surprise. She nodded hesitantly, shakily, not dropping Sam’s gaze. His eyes tightened at the edges. “Then…” he continued quietly. “Then, tell me you know who my father is.”

  Eddie breathed in quickly, her heart thundering anxiously. “He’s… an angel-”

  “No,” Sam cut her off instantly, his dark eyes impenetrable.

  “Fallen angel,” Eddie corrected quickly, the words coming out of her mouth sounding impossible to her own ears and yet she knew now with utter certainty that they were the truth.

  “Who…” Sam urged lowly, an almost manic edge to his tone.

  Eddie hesitated, panic settling in her stomach while her breath picked up too quickly, her heart beginning to pound out of her chest. “Lucifer…” she barely whispered the name, but Sam heard it.

  Their eyes remained locked, several heartbeats passing between them.

  “Aren’t you scared?” Sam whispered, his brow puckering to shadow his eyes.

  Eddie swallowed with difficulty, unable to look away from his gaze if she wanted to. “Not… of you,” she murmured back, but her every reaction in her body said differently.

  Sam closed his eyes, breathing out very slowly before locking her within another stare. “You should be…” he told her lowly. “I am.”

  But, Eddie was shaking her head, her eyes wide and earnest. “I’m not and I… I meant what I said back there,” she said as firmly as she could manage.

  Sam was staring at her like she was mad. “How?” he demanded lowly. “I don’t… understand. You’ve known… what I could be this whole time and you… what, you just don’t care?”

  Eddie tried to steady herself. “I care,” she said, but her voice still wavered. “It just doesn’t change… who you are to me.”

  “Well, it should!” Sam growled, anger colouring his tone again. “I mean, are you insane?!” he demanded wildly. “My dad is the devil!” he hissed quietly, but with such ferocity, Eddie nearly felt the words hitting her. “I spent half my childhood in Hell! And this just… just doesn’t bother you?!”

  Eddie took a frightened step backward, the fear in her heart palpable in the air that she breathed too quickly. “I… I don’t know,” she stuttered, her head beginning to feel dizzy. “I told you I… I wasn’t sure that I believed it until… until just before, and… and…” she was struggling to breathe, she couldn’t even feel her fingers properly, and she took another step back, her legs shaking as she needed to sit down, close her eyes and just stop! She tripped over her own feet, falling to the frosty grass, a numb hand coming up to grasp at her head that spun her world overwhelmingly before her eyes. “I can’t…” she gasped. “I can’t breathe!”

  Sam was on the ground before her, his warm and worried brown eyes blurring in her vision. She felt his hands grasping her arms, and vaguely his voice echoed down her ears. “Eddie? Eddie? It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got you…just… just calm down, take a breath…”

  Eddie grasped one of his hands that held her forearm, trying to focus on his face. “You’re still you…” she heard herself say, her own voice sounding strangely distant. She was taking slower breaths now, deep and shaky. “You’re… you’re still you,” she said this almost to herself, trying to reaffirm herself with reality. As much theorising as she may have done… nothing could have prepared herself to truly believe what she’d been thinking. To know what she was involved in. To know the real truth that was Sam.

  “It’s me, just me,” Sam’s voice was soft and tender in her ear. “Take some deep breaths, I’ll get you home. Ok?”

  Eddie nodded jerkily, still trying to get her vision back. “I meant what I said…” she found herself muttering. “What you are doesn’t… doesn’t change who you are…”

  “Stop thinking about that for a minute,” Sam urged quite gently. “You just need to relax, your heart’s going a hundred miles an hour.”

  She tried to, taking several moments to focus on her breathing, then she felt Sam slowly lift her to her feet. She felt disconnected from her body, and soon he had an arm wrapped around her waist as he led her from the park. “I’m sorry…” he murmured to her quietly. “I should never have… have let us be friends. You were never meant to know this… it… it was selfish of me… but I didn’t want to stop even though I knew it was wrong.”

  But, Eddie was shaking her head, a frown pinching her brow. “It’s not wrong,” she mumbled blearily. “Don’t say that…”

  She felt Sam exhale slowly. “It is…” he muttered so quietly Eddie nearly missed it. “I am. There’s no good that can come from me.”

  Eddie felt anger trickling back into her veins, helping her head to begin bringing her back to reality. “Stop it,” she said abruptly. “Stop saying that. It’s not true,” her words were getting firmer, and she turned her head to meet his gaze with a sharp one of her own. “I know you,” she urged firmly. “I got to know you like none of them have. I already told you I don’t care what they say because I know that you’re good.”

  Sam stiffened beside her, bringing them both slowly to a halt.

  Eddie looked at him, but he couldn’t seem to meet her gaze, his brow pinched and unsure.
When he finally did turn his dark eyes on her, they sent a jolt scorching through her body. “You really mean that don’t you…” he murmured quietly, his arm slipping from her waist now that she was standing steadily on her own.

  Eddie managed to nod firmly, despite the unsteady beating of her heart.

  Sam took a step closer to her, and she didn’t move away, his head tilted to the side as he observed her, his dark eyes flickering over her face. He lifted a hand, taking her immensely by surprise, his finger reaching her cheek sending a cascade of sensations fluttering over her skin as he gently caressed the side of her face. “How…” his words were so quiet Eddie was leaning closer just to hear them, “are you real…” he finished before pulling back away, his eyes shadowed by his confused brow.

  Eddie breathed in shakily, her green eyes darting between his as she attempted to understand what he was thinking.

  But, he spoke again before she could remember her words. “Eddie…” he began, in that same uncertain, quiet voice. “I…” he paused, his eyes tight in the corners, earnest in the centre. But then, he exhaled roughly, looking away. “You should stay away from me…” he muttered roughly. “I… I can’t ever be good for you.”

  Eddie’s brow furrowed, her stomach tying knots. “That’s not… for you to decide,” she said lowly. “That’s my choice.”

  “Well, you’re not thinking clearly,” Sam snapped abruptly.

  Eddie stared at him in shock. “Excuse me?” she demanded quietly.

  “You heard what I said,” Sam continued roughly. “Maybe you’re more ‘charmed’ by me than you thought,” he continued lowly. “Otherwise someone as clever as you wouldn’t be making such stupid decisions.”

  Eddie felt a fresh spark of anger surge inside her. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that!” she hissed furiously. “You are the one making stupid decisions! I’m the one who still cares about you despite your stupid ‘charm’! Even when you’re being an asshole!”

  “Don’t you see?!” Sam growled. “That doesn’t even make any sense! Why would you care about me when I’m a jerk?! Why?!”