Ethereal: The Light in the Shadow

by Zoe Knights

  Eddie looked at him for a long moment, tracing his face with her eyes. “What about you?” she whispered finally.

  Sam’s eyes flickered briefly to hers before looking away once more. “What about me?”

  “Well… you… you seem very human to me,” Eddie said nervously, her cheeks flushing royally.

  Sam surprised her by laughing slightly, but there was no mirth to his tone. “You seem to bring it out in me…” he murmured softly. “How disappointed he would be…”

  Eddie didn’t need to ask who he was referring to.

  She swallowed thickly. But, before she could say anything else, Sam looked at her abruptly, his dark gaze instantly engulfing.

  “Your friends are looking at us,” he said lowly. “I imagine they’re concerned by your company…”

  Eddie looked quickly to the entrance of the school, her stomach flipping for Sam was right. Millie was waving excitedly to her from the main doors, Quinn beside her who looked less enthusiastic, but she waved too.

  “Agh…” she murmured lowly, coming to a halt. “Yeah… that’s going to be fun,” she sighed.

  “You should go talk to them,” Sam murmured lowly. “Assure them you’ve not sold your soul to the devil…”

  Eddie frowned. “Is that… actually a thing?”

  Sam smiled wryly, finally meeting her gaze. “That’s complicated,” he inclined his head. Then he held out her duffle bag for her. “This is very light, by the way,” he told her mildly. “You’re a sensible packer.”

  Eddie raised her eyebrows. “Uh…” she laughed slightly. “Okay… thanks, I guess?”

  Again, Sam just smiled.

  Eddie shook her head, “Alright well… I’ll see you later…” she murmured, now turning away.

  But then, Sam stopped her, his hand darting out to lightly grasp her arm.

  She turned to look at him over her shoulder, a bolt scorching through her skin from his touch, instantly sending her heartbeat into a frenzy.

  “I’m not like my father…” he told her quietly, and Eddie could not have looked away from his dark gaze if she wanted to. “I like my humanity. I don’t ever wish to lose it…”

  Eddie blinked, breathing in quickly as she did not know what to say.

  “But I need you to understand… he is a part of me. There is darkness inside me…” Sam continued in that same low and quiet voice. “The Devil is real, and his blood runs through my veins. Don’t forget that.”

  Eddie stared, swallowing with difficulty, her green eyes darting between Sam’s dark irises. A chill tickled her spine. Sam let go of her arm, but his gaze remained, and Eddie finally replied. “I know, Sam…” she said softly. “But there is light too…”

  She looked at him one last time, watching his brow pucker before she turned away. “See you later…” she murmured softly, her feet crunching over the gravel as she continued toward the school, feeling Sam’s gaze burned into her back as she went.

  Millie waved enthusiastically, beckoning her over and Eddie quickly worked on a smile.

  “Hey,” smiled Quinn when she got there.

  “How was your Christmas?!” Millie gushed excitedly before Eddie had even said hello. “Mine was magic! We went skiing in Switzerland and Quinn and I got to meet up in Andermatt!”

  “Oh, that’s awesome,” Eddie smiled, aiming to sound as enthusiastic as she could. She waggled her eyebrows at Quinn. “Any more dancing?”

  Millie flushed scarlet. “Huh? What? There was… we went on a toboggan,” she veered off flustered.

  Quinn shot Eddie a look. “How was yours, Eddie?” she pushed, eyeing her narrowly. “Couldn’t help but notice Sam walking you in…”

  Eddie sighed internally. “Mm, we met on the train. And my Christmas was…” she thought for a moment. “Just me and my brother. It was quiet. But nice.”

  “Any more goss on the Sam front?” Millie couldn’t seem to help herself, the words falling from her mouth as they all walked into the school, heading for the dorms.

  “Same as it ever was, Millie…” Eddie said mildly.

  Quinn quirked an eyebrow. “Did he explain his run off at the dance?”

  Eddie shrugged vaguely. “We haven’t really talked about it…”

  Quinn’s eyes suddenly narrowed in on her neck. “What’s that?!” she demanded abruptly.

  “Ooh… that’s lovely, isn’t it!” Millie followed her line of sight, and before Eddie could do anything, the red head had promptly pulled her necklace from cover, letting it fall atop her jumper.

  Quinn raised her eyebrows. “Well, that’s very pretty and expensive looking…”

  Eddie gave them both a disgruntled look, tucking her necklace safely back away, the instant warmth of the pendant against her skin a welcome comfort. “It was a gift,” she said simply.

  “From Sam?” Millie grinned instantly.

  Eddie sighed, her cheeks tinged with rouge. “Yes,” she muttered. “But… it was a friendly gift. That’s all.”

  Quin exchanged a glance with Millie. “Really…” she mused. “Because Mill and I have a theory.”

  Eddie raised a wry eyebrow. “A-huh…”

  “And as much as it bothers me to say it…” Quinn continued vaguely.

  “We think Sam fancies you!” Millie piped in, unable to withhold herself.

  Eddie’s stomach did several somersaults.

  Quinn rolled her eyes at Millie. “Yes,” she agreed simply. “I mean… even I can admit his dance with you was… well, tender. And now he’s giving you jewellery. And he’s not sleeping with anyone. I mean-”

  “He doesn’t fancy me,” Eddie cut in very firmly, though her heart beat hard against her ribs. “It’s… not how you think. And… definitely way more complicated than that…” she added in a mutter; for if only it were as simple as a high school crush.

  Millie was chewing a smile on her lips. “But how do you feel?” she probed further.

  Eddie looked at her friend and sighed slightly. “I feel lost in a complicated mess…” she muttered vaguely.

  She saw Quinn exchange another glance with Millie.

  “Well,” Quinn said bracingly. “We’re here for you. You don’t have to be afraid to tell us what’s going on,” she smiled genuinely.

  Eddie smiled back, though it was small. “Thanks,” she said quietly, absently tracing the outline of her pendant under her jumper. “I… I’ll remember that.”

  “Good,” Millie nodded sincerely before grinning once more. “Now hurry up! Let’s get those bags away so we can catch up with the others! I can’t wait to see everyone!”

  Eddie shook her head, still smiling slightly as she saw Quinn’s fond look of amusement at Millie’s antics as the redhead skipped off excitedly ahead. But, just as earlier on the train, Eddie felt detached from her friends. There was a void that could not be filled or broken that lay between them. Secrets she could never spill keeping them apart.

  The warmth of Sam’s feather protecting her was all that brought her peace. Realisation dawned on her that this feeling of isolation might have been Sam’s reality before she had come along. To be the only one knowing about this world… to be so lost and alone…

  She wondered if she brought the same sense of peace and comfort to him as he did to her.

  Won’t Stand for This

  22

  When Eddie awoke on Monday morning her heart was speeding in her chest, her palms a little clammy and her mouth dry. Sam’s eyes, voice and lips teased her dreams.

  Don’t tempt me, Eden…

  His touch was soft, warm and somehow lingering even after she had awoken.

  She kicked her covers off her, sitting up and feeling rather hot and bothered.

  “Morning,” Quinn yawned from her bed. “You alright? You look like you just ran a mile.”

  Eddie glanced over at her friend. “Huh?” she muttered. This is how I should have said goodnight… Eddie swallowed again. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just… a dream.”

  Qu
inn raised an eyebrow. “Like a… good dream?” she asked teasingly.

  Eddie gave her a look but did not reply, instead, she got up to begin searching for her toiletries bag.

  “Well that’s a yes…” chuckled Quinn who was also stretching now as she got out of bed.

  Eddie huffed slightly, tucking a strand of her messy hair behind her ear. It was a dream that was certainly going to make her day difficult.

  She bit her lip, still not replying. But, something was tugging at her subconsciousness. She was desperate to have a friend with whom she could talk to about this.

  Quite suddenly, she spun on the spot, her cheeks flushing red and said, “Sam kissed me.”

  And it was amazing… she neglected to mention.

  Quinn’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at Eddie in surprise. “Wait… what? Are you joking?!”

  Eddie clamped her mouth shut and shook her head vigorously.

  “Oh…my god,” Quinn said slowly, still slack-jawed as she clearly was trying to come to terms with this. “I think I need more of an explanation…like when?! Where?! Did you want him to?!”

  Eddie sighed lowly, and she fell back on her bum on her bed, putting her head in her hands and taking a deep breath. “The night of the dance,” she admitted, tensing for Quinn’s expected scolding.

  “I knew something happened!” Quinn exclaimed. At least she did not sound angry. “You were acting so weirdly,” she paused, frowning. “So… what happened next?”

  Eddie looked up. “Well…” she exhaled slowly. “Then… see, I’d invited him to have Christmas with me and my brother. He said he’d come,” she paused for breath, glancing up hesitantly at Quinn as it felt strange, yet so relieving to finally share this. “But he didn’t show up. He ran off after kissing me and that was the last I saw him.”

  “Are you kidding?!” Quinn sounded utterly pissed on her behalf. “What a jerk!”

  “Yeah, well that’s not all,” Eddie sighed. “I ended up seeing him when I was in London. I was somewhere I… shouldn’t’ have gone,” she muttered vaguely. “Anyway. We had a fight. He told me the kiss didn’t mean anything, it was stupid, and he shouldn’t have done it.”

  “Far out…” Quinn frowned seriously. “I told you he is a complete A-hole-”

  “That’s not all…” Eddie moaned. “Then he came and saw me again… apologised for everything. Gave me this necklace and then… then kissed my forehead before he left.”

  Quinn looked utterly perplexed. “Well… did you talk about the kiss again?”

  Eddie shook her head. “No…”

  “You didn’t think you should maybe bring up that he can’t just treat you like that?!” Quinn spluttered in disbelief.

  Eddie sighed, “It’s not how you think… there was a lot going on. And he could have said something! Why do I have to?!”

  Quinn rolled her eyes. “So much for avoiding all forms of drama, Eddie,” she teased her. “He sounds like a hot mess.”

  Eddie breathed out slowly through her nose, resting her chin in her hands and her elbows on her knees. “He’s confused. And he’s confusing. I don’t know what goes on in his head.”

  Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Is he really worth all this?” she asked slowly. “I mean… you know what I think of him. I’d be staying away from him.”

  Eddie exhaled roughly, sitting up only to fall back against the mattress and stare at the ceiling. “It’s too late for that…” she muttered, feeling blood burning in her cheeks. “I…like him…” she continued, rubbing her palms over her face. “I know you think I’m an idiot. But, it’s the truth. And I don’t want to stay away from him…”

  She heard Quinn breath out a low sigh. “Wow, well… I don’t know what to say…”

  Eddie sat up very quickly. “Don’t tell Millie,” she said with earnest. “Please. I love her, but she can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

  Quinn raised her eyebrows, but a small smile tweaked her lips. “Alright… calm down, I won’t,” she peered at Eddie curiously. “Thanks for… telling me though. It’s nice that you trust me.”

  Eddie smiled wryly. “Thanks for listening…”

  Quinn then stood up, stretching one last time. “Well… I just hope I’m wrong about him. And that he’s worth all… this,” she added seriously, frowning slightly as she looked at Eddie.

  “You are wrong about him Quinn…” Eddie said quietly. “He’s a good person. He’s just had a… a hard life.”

  “Well…” Quinn sighed, picking up her toiletries. “I’ll admit I’m amazed you even got close to him. Never seen it happen. He’s normally such a shallow… want for one thing type of guy.”

  Eddie shook her head, also hopping up again to gather her own things. “Why do you think he kissed my forehead?” she asked abruptly. “Was it… a friendly gesture? Or… or something more?”

  Quinn raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know,” she sounded perplexed. “He’s… stringing you along and doesn’t want to commit?”

  Eddie sighed heavily. “That’s not it…” she muttered lowly. “Just… get rid of your previous notions of him, pretend he’s someone you actually like, and then tell me.”

  Quinn rolled her eyes, now heading to the door. “I dunno, Eddie…” she shrugged. “It’s definitely affectionate. Maybe don’t overthink it. Anyway. What are you going to do now?” she added, pausing by the door. “With him, I mean?”

  Eddie huffed in disappointment, her fingers finding her necklace again and tracing it without thinking. “I’ve no idea…” she sighed. “Try and figure out the inner workings of his mind?”

  Quinn snorted, turning away to open the door. “Right…” she said with a laugh. “Well… look. You can talk to me. I promise I’ll try not to be a bitch about it.”

  Eddie laughed slightly. “Yeah, alright…” she said, watching as Quinn threw her a last smile before leaving the room.

  When Eddie finally finished getting herself ready, Quinn had already headed down to breakfast. Eddie felt strange to be back in her uniform, but something about the familiarity of it was nice.

  She’d braided her hair in vain to try and control her bushy curls. Alas, as much as she tucked away, those two strands at the front continued to stick out like uncontrollable little wires.

  When she left her room, her heart did a jump to her throat, and she stopped mid-step.

  For Sam was outside, leaning against the wall, Tash and Devna giggling beside him.

  His eyes met hers instantly and relief washed over his features.

  Eddie had to hide a smile, coming over to them.

  “Well, this explains his hovering…” Devna crooned, winking at Eddie.

  “Hey guys…” Eddie looked between the two girls before meeting Sam’s burning gaze. “What’s going on?”

  “We were talking to Sam,” Tash cut in. “He was just about to tell us about his holiday. Go on, Sam,” she added, flicking her hair over her shoulder and fluttering her eyelashes at him. “You were saying?”

  Sam leant off the wall, his eyes only for Eddie. “Eventful…” he murmured vaguely. “Excuse me ladies, but it was Eddie I was waiting for.”

  Devna bit her lip, unable to hide her smirk. “Come on, Tash…” she pulled the girl’s sleeve. “Isn’t Kai waiting for you in the main hall?”

  Tash huffed in indignation. “Yes, but he can wait-”

  Devna pulled her harder, forcing her away. “See you later, Eddie,” she gave her a sly smirk. “Can’t wait to catch up! Oh and… pretty necklace,” she added, glancing briefly to Eddie’s chest where her angel wing pendant hung over the top of her school jumper.

  Eddie looked down, touching the pendant before glancing back up with a slight flush in her cheeks. “Oh… thanks,” she muttered, but Devna was already halfway down the hall, still dragging Tash with her.

  When Eddie looked back to Sam, he was already eyeing her curiously, and her heart skipped a beat. She looked away again, unable to hold his gaze, her cheeks feeling a lit
tle warmer than usual, for her dream was still all too fresh in her mind.

  “So, what are you doing out here, then?” she asked quickly.

  “Waiting for you, of course,” Sam replied smoothly, and Eddie could hear his smile in his voice. “What are you going to tell your friends when you ‘catch up’?”

  “Nothing,” Eddie mumbled. “There’s nothing to tell them.”

  Sam remained silent for a moment. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “You seem…” he paused for a moment. “Flustered,” he finished, smiling again.

  Eddie frowned at him. “I’m not flustered,” she said stickily. “And we should start heading to English,” she added, turning away from him to begin walking down the corridor.

  She felt Sam close behind her as he hurried to keep up.

  “Careful…” he murmured into her ear. “You’ve knocked a curl loose by storming off in a fluster.”

  Eddie huffed in indignation. “I am not flustered!” she repeated, turning to glare at Sam only to have him immediately reach out and gently grasp her escaped strand of hair, softly tucking it back into her braid.

  Her heart nearly stopped.

  “You have such pretty hair…” Sam mused softly, his eyes flickering back to meet hers when he took his hand away.

  Eddie blinked several times, her heart falling out of rhythm. Confusion found her thoughts once more, and a frown pinched her brow. She looked away, quickly continuing to walk toward their class in silence.

  Sam, apparently, was not bothered by her strange lack of words. “Would you like to sit with me in English today?” he asked her casually.

  Eddie’s brow furrowed further. “Why?” she demanded abruptly, glancing at him just to see a raised eyebrow pointed in her direction.

  “Because… I want…you to?” he said back slowly.

  “Um…” Eddie looked down to her old, scuffed school shoes as she walked. “Well… I can’t leave Millie. She’d be sitting all by herself. But, you could… sit with us.”

  Sam sighed slightly. “Well, it’s less appealing, but alright.”

  Eddie threw him another glance, finding herself once again wishing she knew what he was thinking. Sam met her gaze with pondering eyes.