The Empty Nesters

by Brown, Carolyn

  It wasn’t difficult to listen to her mind—or was that bit of advice coming from her heart?—and not fight it. It actually felt really good to be close to him and not feel like she should step away.

  Aunt Mary Lou’s eyes started at Diana’s shoes and traveled slowly up past her flowing skirt to the green blouse that was topped with a matching cardigan. She had to raise her head to see Diana’s face and red hair.

  “A good Irishwoman, I see.” Mary Lou nodded. “I’m pleased to meet you.”

  “My pleasure,” Diana said. “But I’m really Scottish, not Irish.”

  “That’s even better.” Mary Lou shifted her focus back to Luke. “Hang on to this one. Y’all will make pretty babies.”

  Diana’s cheeks burned so hot that she was sure if she looked in a mirror, they’d be scarlet. “Well, thank you, ma’am. I hope that any babies we might have get his blue eyes.” They’d never have children, but saying that had come out so easy that she felt herself falling right into the role of his girlfriend.

  “And Diana’s gorgeous hair.” Luke brushed a sweet kiss on Diana’s forehead. “We’ll talk more later, Aunt Mary Lou. I want to introduce Diana to Uncle Clarence before he gets to telling his war stories to the other guys.”

  “You better hurry if you intend to do that.” Mary Lou flipped her walker around and headed off toward the group of women surrounding Tootsie.

  “You did good. So you want our kids to have my blue eyes?” Luke whispered.

  “Of course I do.” She smiled up at him.

  He brushed a soft kiss across her lips. “That’s to make sure they believe that I can really get a woman like you.” He removed his arm from her shoulders and laced his fingers in hers.

  Clarence met them halfway across the room. A tall, stocky man with bulldog cheeks and deep-set eyes, he reminded Diana of Smokey.

  “This is the oldest living Colbert brother since Uncle Smokey passed away,” Luke said. “He spent some time in the army during the Vietnam era.”

  “Yes, I was, and, honey, I can tell you some stories.” His deep voice brought Smokey right back to life.

  “I bet you can.” Diana smiled.

  Luke gently squeezed her hand. “We’ll have to hear them later. We’ve got to make the rounds.”

  “Well, darlin’, if you get tired of Luke, I’ve got an unmarried son still left that I’d love to introduce you to.” Clarence winked.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of him, but if I was to ever throw him over the fence, I just might give you a call,” Diana teased.

  “And she’s got a sense of humor, too,” Clarence said. “Smokey talked about you girls so much that I feel like I know you. Is that Carmen and Joanie over there with Tootsie?”

  Diana nodded.

  “Well, I got to go meet them. Maybe one of them will be interested in my bachelor son.” Clarence left them standing there and shuffled over to the other side of the room.

  “Do I get an Emmy?” Diana asked.

  “Well, darlin’, I had a mind to name our red-haired daughter Fiona to keep in line with your Scottish blood, but if you like the name Emmy better, then I won’t fight you over it,” he joked as he pulled her toward another group of relatives.

  “I like Fiona just fine. When’s the baby due? Why wasn’t I invited to the wedding?” A lady tapped Luke on the shoulder.

  “No wedding yet, Linda June,” Luke said. “And I would never leave you off the guest list unless we decide to elope to Paris—that’s France, not Texas—or have an Elvis wedding in Las Vegas.” He turned to bring Diana in closer. “Honey, I want you to meet my cousin Linda June. And this is my girlfriend, Diana McTavish.”

  Long gray braids hung down the sides of Linda June’s body. She wore bell-bottom jeans and a tie-dyed T-shirt. Several strands of multicolored beads hung around her neck, and she sported a peace-sign tattoo on one arm and a butterfly on the other.

  “Well, darlin’,” Linda June whispered, “if y’all ever want to forget about what society thinks and join my commune, I can make room for you.”

  The woman had best not make that offer to Carmen. To get away from having to go home to an empty nest, she just might take her up on it. Come to think of it, Diana might throw her laptop in the trash and run away herself.

  And leave Tootsie? There was that voice again.

  No, she’d never do that, and neither would Carmen. Tootsie had been too good to them to desert her. But it was tempting.

  “Thanks for the offer, but we’re pretty happy where we are. See you later.” Luke pulled Diana in the opposite direction. They went through a door and a hallway and wound up in the church sanctuary.

  “Break time. We’ll go back for act two in a little bit. That’ll involve sitting beside me at the dinner table, but you’re doin’ good.” He let go of her hand and sat down on the back pew.

  She melted into the place right beside him. “Linda June is a trip, but I’ve got to admit, her offer to run away to a commune sounded kind of good.”

  “Takes all kinds.” He brushed a strand of hair from her face. “I hadn’t considered a commune.” He rubbed a hand across his chin. “But I’ll go if you will.”

  Diana giggled. “I could never do that. Tell me about her. Seems like she kind of got stuck in the hippie days.”

  “You are so right.” He nodded. “She’s Aunt Mary Lou’s only child. Mary Lou is the oldest child in the Colbert family, and she had Linda June when she was about sixteen or seventeen. So Linda June is probably close to seventy, but she never got past her bell-bottom jeans and all that went with them.”

  Heat from his touch raised the temperature in the sanctuary at least ten degrees. “Does she have children?” Diana asked.

  “About ten or maybe eleven, but only the last five belong to the man she’s still with now. From what I understand, they all live in the commune with her. She’s the queen bee of the place,” he said. “After meeting her and Aunt Mary Lou, you’ll break up with me at five after four for sure, and I had my hopes set on this being the foundation of an amazing relationship.”

  Diana poked him in the ribs. “If I was in love with you, it would take more than a few crazy relatives for me to throw you over the pasture fence. And besides, you haven’t met my family. They’d probably put this one to shame.”

  “Oh!” He raised an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation to meet your cousins?”

  “No, sir. My cousins would try to seduce you,” she teased.

  “Does one of them have red hair? I’m a sucker for redheads.” His eyes glittered.

  “Yes, Molly does, and she has six kids. I think two of them have the same father, but that’s only because they’re twins. She believes in free will. It would be like dating Linda June, only younger. I’ll have to warn you that most of her walls are painted with ketchup or mustard. Or whatever was in the diaper that day. But you go ahead and flirt with her when you come to my family reunion.” She patted him on the cheek.

  “Let’s invite them all to our wedding, darlin’. Molly’s kids can smear cake icing on the floor, and Linda June can offer to take them all to her commune.” He picked up her hand, brought it to his lips, and whispered, “Aunt Mary Lou has opened the door enough to peek through.”

  Diana smiled up at him when he kissed her knuckles and then wrapped her arms around his neck, twined her fingers into his hair, and brought his face to hers for a long, lingering kiss. When it ended, she moved over to sit in his lap and whispered in his ear, “Now there’s three sets of eyes on us. Man, they really do want to see you settled down, don’t they?”

  This was turning out to be a hell of a lot more fun than she’d ever imagined. It was like being a sophomore in high school and making out in the back seat of a car, plus the excitement of being just a little devious in tricking folks into believing that she and Luke were a couple.

  “I’m the baby of all the grandkids,” he told her. “My dad was the youngest child, coming along when my grandmother was past forty. An
d then he died before any of them, and they think they owe it to the family to see me married. I’m going to kiss you again. Pretend like you like it.”

  “I’ll do my best,” she said, just before his hand moved to the back of her head and his lips closed over hers again. She definitely didn’t have to pretend that she liked it—not one bit. Chest to chest, their hearts were both beating so fast that they were out of breath when a loud clanging noise ended the kiss. It startled Diana so badly that she jumped up out of his lap in fight-or-flight mode.

  “Dinner bell.” Luke stood up and took her hand in his. “Everyone gathers round the oldest child in the Colbert family, Aunt Mary Lou, to say grace, and then the feasting begins.”

  He led her back through the door into the kitchen area, where everyone already had their heads bowed. Mary Lou had pushed her walker to the middle of the circle and waited until Luke and Diana had taken a place beside Tootsie.

  “Let us pray,” Mary Lou said as she bowed her head. “Father in heaven, thank you for bringing us together one more time for this reunion. Bless our time together, and go with us as we all travel home for another year. Thank you for the hands that prepared this food and for giving our Luke a girlfriend. Amen.”

  Now she felt horrible for tricking these good folks. It’s a wonder God didn’t send a lightning bolt right down from heaven to strike her graveyard-dead for what she was doing. But she couldn’t say a word, not when it would make Luke look like a fool. She cared too much for him to do that.

  When the short prayer ended and everyone raised their heads, all eyes were on her and Luke. He just grinned, raised his and Diana’s clasped hands, and said, “Amen!”

  Everyone joined in with a hearty “Amen!” and then Mary Lou shuffled to start the buffet line.

  “Does it work from the oldest to the youngest for dinner, too?” Diana asked.

  “Linda June will help Aunt Mary Lou get her food first, but after that, it’s every man for himself. You want to go back to the sanctuary and make out some more, or do you want to eat?”

  Diana almost said that she’d rather make out just to wipe that devilish grin off Luke’s face. But instead she said, “Oh, darlin’, we used up so much energy with those hot kisses that we probably should eat hearty for the next session.”

  “Smart girl,” Uncle Clarence said right behind them.

  Diana fought the heat creeping up from her neck to her cheeks. She’d blushed more that morning than she had in her entire lifetime. These poor people were going to be so disappointed next year when Luke showed up again without a girlfriend. Or maybe he would have found a real someone by then.

  How does that make you feel? Her mother’s voice popped into her head again.

  Just a little jealous after those kisses, Diana admitted.

  Did you think about the age difference when you were sitting on his lap?

  Diana shook her head.

  Has anyone in this room asked you if you were older than Luke?

  No, but I know, Diana argued.

  “Are you okay?” Luke asked. “You’re a little pale.”

  “Just hungry.” Diana wasn’t going to admit that she had voices in her head, not with so many of his relatives hanging on every word and watching every move she and Luke made.

  “We can fix that, sweetheart,” Uncle Clarence said. “Y’all just come with me.” He took Diana by the arm and led her right to the front of the line. “This pretty lady and Luke need to be next,” he said loudly. “She’s our guest of honor, after all.”

  Diana was so embarrassed that she wanted to crawl under a table. When she had agreed to be Luke’s girlfriend for the reunion, she wasn’t thinking it would be such a big deal, and she felt horrible for duping all his relatives. But she was far too invested in the charade now to back out. It would break their hearts and make Luke look like an idiot.

  “Thank you, sir,” she said.

  “That’s Uncle Clarence to you, darlin’,” he drawled.

  She smiled and nodded. “Then thank you, Uncle Clarence.”

  She focused on all the food to keep from thinking about the pretense and loaded up her plate with little bits of everything until she scurried out of room. Then she carried her plate to a table on the other side of the room from Aunt Mary Lou. Luke sat down beside her with his food, and pretty soon Tootsie, Carmen, and Joanie joined them.

  Joanie nudged her with an elbow the moment she sat down. “Where’d you two disappear to?”

  “We checked out the church,” Diana answered.

  “The lady with the walker was peeking in the door, too. What’s on the other side?”

  Diana said, “Let’s talk later.”

  “Hey, this is the best ham I’ve ever eaten,” Carmen said from across the table.

  “Dr Pepper,” Tootsie said.

  “What?”

  “It’s Linda June’s recipe. All she does is pour a bottle of Dr Pepper on it and bake it slowly,” Tootsie answered. “She brings it every year. She and her husband raise their own hogs and chickens and a steer or two every year. She does her own sugar curing and always brings a ham to the reunion, but the secret is the soda pop.”

  Diana was glad to talk recipes and food instead of what had gone on in the sanctuary. Her mother was right—when she was making out with Luke, she hadn’t thought one second about the age difference between them, and she needed some time to sort all that out before she talked about it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Diana changed into her pajama pants and a tank top and was busy rubbing lotion on her feet when her door opened. Both Carmen and Joanie came in uninvited and crawled up in the middle of her bed.

  “It’s later now, so talk,” Joanie said.

  “About?” Diana played dumb.

  “We’ve been patient and didn’t say a word about your date, but now we want to hear how you felt about being his girlfriend,” Carmen said.

  “Don’t you dare start without me.” Tootsie came into the room huffing and puffing. “I forgot how much energy it takes to get up those stairs.”

  “Start what?” Diana asked.

  “Y’all may be empty nesters because your daughters all left, but I’m one because my husband is gone, so we’re in the same boat. That means I get to listen to Diana’s side of the story. Mary Lou told me that y’all were in the sanctuary making out like teenagers and that she prayed to God that He’d close his eyes and look the other way. She said losing Smokey was enough for one year, and she didn’t have the energy to go to another funeral, so God was to look the other way for a little while.” Tootsie kicked off her slippers and got on the bed with the others.

  “You’ve heard it all, then, so there’s no reason for me to say anything,” Diana said.

  “I want to know how it felt to kiss another man,” Carmen said. “I can’t imagine being even that intimate with anyone other than Eli, and yet, the thought of kissing him right now makes me nauseated.”

  “Then how could you ever want to stay married to him?” Tootsie asked.

  “I hate change so much,” Carmen answered. “I’ve lived with this routine so long that I’m used to him coming and going. But never having that moment when he comes home again, that time when everything is right in my world—it’s scary. And thinking about a job is terrifying, too. I can manage money, but what if I screw up at work? I haven’t worked at anything other than being a waitress before I married Eli.”

  “You’ll be fine. Have you called the lady at the base?” Diana was so glad that the conversation had turned to Carmen’s drama that she fought the urge to wipe imaginary sweat from her forehead.

  But then Joanie tapped her on the shoulder and said, “So tell us what it felt like.”

  “He’s not the first man I’ve kissed or even the first one I’ve been to bed with since Gerald,” Diana answered. “I had a couple of dates, remember?”

  “Oh, yeah”—Carmen nodded—“but it’s been so long that, by now, I bet you needed to check out videos on YouTube t
o figure out how to do it.”

  Diana shoved her backward onto the pillows. “It’s like riding a bicycle.”

  “Have you been wasting Luke’s gizmo on YouTube videos?” Joanie teased.

  “What’s YouTube?” Tootsie asked.

  Carmen jerked her phone from the hip pocket of her jeans and pulled up a video of Travis Tritt singing “Here’s a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares).”

  “Well, would you look at that,” Tootsie said. “Me and Smokey missed out on that thing. Why didn’t you girls tell us?”

  Again, Diana hoped the spotlight was off her, but Tootsie looked up and asked, “And they have tutorials about kissing on this thing?”

  “I have no idea,” Diana answered. “But they have them for putting on makeup, knitting, cooking, and all kinds of other things. Rebecca used to watch those makeup ones for hours on end.”

  “And I can get this on my laptop when I get home?” Tootsie asked.

  “Or your television. I can set it up for you,” Carmen said. “Now, back to Diana.”

  “Okay,” Diana sighed. “I forgot all about the difference in our ages and just enjoyed the moment. And it was fun being in a relationship for a day. Truth is, I didn’t pretend so much. It was kind of like it was real. But now that it’s all over, I keep thinking about how tough it will be to tell Rebecca about him.”

  Tootsie listened to the song all the way to the end and handed the phone back to Carmen. “Rebecca is going to be elated.”

  “What makes you think that?” Diana extended a hand and pulled Carmen back up to a sitting position.

  “Because she came to give me one more goodbye hug the night before she left. She was sad to be leaving you all alone and told me that she wished you’d find someone to make you happy,” Tootsie answered.

  “Did she really?” Diana was so touched that she got misty-eyed. Her daughter had thrown a pure old hissy fit the first time that Diana went out after the divorce.

  “For real,” Tootsie answered. “You don’t have to make a decision now, but give Luke a chance. Let Rebecca meet him before you throw him out.”