As Winter Spawns

by Jason Hamilton

  But she stopped herself. She couldn’t really blame Skellig after all, given the circumstances. There had been a time when she thought all conflict could simply be resolved with patience and love. But sometimes love required conflict when one side would not budge. If Vander remained hostile, they had no choice but to fight him, to give up lives in the hope that it would ultimately save more.

  And she didn’t even have much of a plan with her theory about the portals. Even if she were to get through one, what would that accomplish? If Cain was creating the portals, she would probably end up right where he was, and then what would she do? Without her brands, she couldn’t fight him. He would likely kill her on the spot.

  In the end, she nodded her head. “I’ll try to find a way to make my theory work, but you do whatever you feel is necessary, Skellig. Though I don’t want this, I trust you. You’ll do the best that you can, I know it.”

  Skellig gave her an appreciative nod and smile. “Thank you, Jak. You know, you don’t have to take this all on yourself. You’re essentially a normal human now. Maybe you should take a break and spend time with Seph. We can handle the hard business.”

  Jak began walking to the front of the tent. It was time to leave. “I appreciate that, Skellig. But I’ll have to decline. I think it would be even more of a weight on my mind if I wasn’t doing all I could to help. I realize I don’t have the same physical strength as before, but that does not mean I can’t make a difference.”

  With that, she stepped outside to the open air.

  And froze.

  In the split second after leaving the tent, she’d spied a puff of darkness just to one side. The moment she turned her head to look, it was gone. But she recognized what had just happened. She bent down to survey the ground and felt her heart freeze with realization. There were footprints in the snow, light ones, extremely light. But it was unmistakable.

  A Shadow Elf had been spying on them.

  Based on the footprints, the elf had already left, probably just now. But perhaps it had just gone a short distance away and would be back soon. She had to warn Skellig.

  She immediately retreated back through the tent flap. Skellig looked at her confused. “Did you…” she began, but stopped as Jak put a finger to her lips.

  Jak glanced around the tent. The others that gathered here to share warmth could not know what she had just seen. But that would not stop them from wondering what she was doing, telling Skellig to be quiet. They would speculate. Well there was nothing that could be done about that now.

  Silently, she approached Skellig till she was right next to the major. Then she leaned in close, with Skellig bending down to hear better. “There was a Shadow Elf spy outside the tent,” she whispered just loud enough so that only Skellig could hear.

  Skellig leaned away and looked at Jak sharply. “You’re sure?”

  Jak nodded.

  Skellig swore and ran a hand through her short hair. But she too realized that making this known to their listeners would incite a panic. She calmed herself down in a rush. “Thank you for telling me, Jak. If there’s nothing else?”

  Jak shook her head. “No, major. I’ll be going now.”

  She retreated back out the tent flap. They would have to assume that the Shadow Elf had overheard everything about their plans to withhold the rations from the Fae, and ambush them when they came to steal it. That changed everything.

  Jak made her way to where her own tent lay. Seph was sitting there waiting, doing some physical exercises to keep himself warm. If Jak hadn’t been so preoccupied with her discovery of the Shadow Elf, she would have allowed herself to watch him work. He looked good when he was doing pushups.

  Instead, she walked right into her tent and found the small patch of ground that was hers. Her tent wasn’t really her tent anymore. It was the largest besides Skellig’s, which meant that they could fit over a dozen people in it, when lying right next to each other. She couldn’t count how long it had been since she’d had some privacy.

  She slipped into the blankets of her own, small space. It wasn’t exactly time to sleep, but she needed to conserve warmth. Not to mention have a quiet moment to think. Well, as quiet as possible under the circumstances. There were several others in their blankets after all. She wouldn’t get time alone. Not without leaving the camp entirely.

  Seph, who must have noticed her entering the tent, wandered next to her and followed suit, sitting and then pulling his own covers over him so that he lay immediately to her right. She could feel the warmth coming from his body.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey,” she responded, not sure what else to say.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “You came in looking like a spooked panther.”

  “Is that one of those cat-like things in the east?”

  “You’ve heard of them?”

  “Got attacked by one actually.” she said. “In my second vision on Mt. Knot. Long story. But yeah, things aren’t exactly the best right now.”

  In a hushed tone so as not to alert the others, she filled him in on everything that had happened. He listened without interrupting, waiting until she had completely finished explaining how she’d found out about the eavesdropper and what that could mean.

  “Well I suppose Skellig will have to change her tactics now,” he said when she finished.

  “Yes, probably,” Jak let out a groan of frustration. “I wish I knew how all of this was going to end. Not knowing is killing me.”

  “Just as long as it’s not frost exposure that’s killing you,” he said with a wink. “I’m not sure what I’d think if you turned all gray and blue like your friends.”

  Despite herself, Jak let out a short laugh. “I’m not sure I would change into a Fae. With all my exposure to various Relics you’d think it would have happened by this point.”

  “Well I haven’t changed into anything either,” he replied. “But we both know that the Book of Illadar prophecies even more races. Even after these Ice Fae.”

  Jak rolled over on one side so she was facing him, and leaned her head against one arm. “Tell me more of those prophecies.” Perhaps hearing of what was supposed to happen might help calm her nerves, even if prophecy was more of a guessing game. It was easier to see in hindsight, to recognize a prophecy fulfilled. But it was less easy to accurately anticipate the future.

  “Well, we recently witnessed the birth of the Ice Fae,” he said. “Those that will come in the greatest hour of need, a time of contention.” he said. “I would think that now pretty much counts as such an event.”

  “Does it say if they will be able to help with that contention?” Jak asked.

  “It doesn’t,” he said. “In fact, very few races have anything more substantial attached to their prophecy. There are only three more to come. Two that represent life of some kind.”

  Jak nodded. “That would make sense why the planet has no life on it besides us. Those two Fae were not there when we linked and created Illadar.”

  Seph returned her nod. “That was my thought as well.”

  “It’s too bad one of them didn’t show up before the Ice Fae. We could really use some vegetation at least, something we could grow and eat. Apart from the mushrooms at least. We don’t have enough space to grow more of those.”

  “Perhaps, though I get the feeling that we are meant to solve our own problems before the answers will be provided for us.”

  “You mean we need to create our own food before we can have some type of Fae do it for us? The gnomes were already successful at growing mushrooms.”

  “I don’t mean anything so specific. Just that...you know how at each step of the way, we’ve met opposition. Well I have a gut feeling that we’re supposed to have that. Like it’s a test to build us up, and prove ourselves worthy of possessing this planet.”

  “You make it sound like all we have to do is get through the hardship and there won’t be any more problems.”

  “Well, no. We can still fail.” �
�And what happens if we do?”

  “Then others will rise to take our place.”

  Jak paused to take in his beautiful face for a moment. “You really believe in Illadar, don’t you. Even after coming here and realizing it wasn’t the paradise we thought it would be.”

  He nodded, “I do. I just don’t assume I will live to see that day. Perhaps we will fail, and Cain will triumph for a time. Perhaps he will even destroy this entire planet. But someone will rise up again, someone more capable. And they will rebuild. But it will happen eventually, of that I’m certain.”

  “You don’t exactly inspire confidence in our current chances.”

  “Perhaps only because I am content with the life I have. Despite all this, I’m with you. And that’s all I could ask for. It is more than I thought I deserved.”

  He looked at her with such warmth as he said it that she almost had to fight back tears. “I love you, Seph,” she said, after making sure she was composed.

  He smiled, “I love you too, Jak.”

  Jak reached over to grab his face and pulled him into a hard kiss. They held it for a while. Probably long enough that anyone else in the tent was growing uncomfortable. But eventually they let each other go. Seph smiled and brushed the red streak of her hair away from her face. Relics, she loved this man. She was going to find a way for them all to survive if for no other reason than to be with him.

  The tent flap opened and a head poked in. It was Bretton, his white hair shimmering in the light. His eyes quickly located Jak. “I’m sorry to intrude, but they wanted you to come quick.”

  “Skellig?” Jak asked. What did the woman want from her? She had only just left.

  “No, not Skellig,” said Bretton. “They want you where they’re tending to the sick.”

  A chill ran up Jak’s spine. Gabriel.

  14

  Both she and Seph hurried until they reached the tent where they were keeping the sick. There were more bodies here than before, packed in as closely as possible. Any more and they would have to use another tent.

  It didn’t take Jak long to find Gabriel buried under as many blankets as they could spare. Which unfortunately wasn’t many. She rushed to the man, with Seph and Bretton following close behind.

  “How is he?” she said to the nearest healer, a woman bent over a nearby patient, spoon feeding him some soup. The woman turned to see who had spoken. Jak was not surprised to see it was Li. She did not look much better than those who were sick in bed, but she was still on her feet.

  The woman gave a slight nod of acknowledgment to Jak, but answered her question straight away. “He will not live out the night. We have done all we can do.”

  Jak’s eyes widened. Gabriel couldn’t die. He was the only one left. He was...well he was Gabriel. Her teacher, her guide, the only family she had now that her blood family was gone.

  “Talk to him,” said Seph, softly from behind. There was an air of resolution in Seph’s voice, a soberness. He had already accepted it. No. Gabriel couldn’t die. She could save him, she could…

  “Gabriel,” she said, her voice shaking. She knelt next to the man’s side, trying to avoid treading on the bodies of others that lay next to him.

  “Jak,” he barely managed to croak out the word. “I’m glad you could be here.”

  “Gabriel, you have to tell me how to get rid of this Void brand. Then I could save you. Please, there has to be something, anything that you know of.”

  “There…” Gabriel broke off as a fit of coughing racked his body. When it subsided, his lips were stained with blood. “That is beyond my knowledge. You must remember what I told you. You must believe in yourself.”

  “How will that help me bring you back?”

  “I am already gone. But it is my time. I do not regret it. I lived to see the day when Illadar became a reality. When the Pillars of Eternity, the Worldbringers, were wielded by a person of legend, and one of my students no less. I could not be prouder.”

  His face was paler, and Jak could feel her own visage growing colder. “No, Gabriel. You have to hold on. Just a little longer. We’ll get you some help, we only need time. Other Fae will come, you’ll see. Or we’ll find shelter.”

  “Jak,” he said, and the tone of his voice silenced what she was about to say. The raspiness of his voice was gone, temporarily. He spoke in a clear tone. “You can’t save everyone. But just remember, there are more out there you have yet to save. Do not give up. You are not done.”

  He held her gaze for a moment before his eyes fluttered closed and his body relaxed. Jak’s eyes widened. “Gabriel,” she cried. “Gabriel!”

  Her teacher’s jaw went slack, and his eyes stared upward. His face was ashen, devoid of all color.

  Jak reached for him, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking his limp body, she felt hands gently coax her away. They were Seph’s hands. Li stepped into Jak’s field of vision, reaching a palm forward to close Gabriel’s eyes. This wasn’t happening. Gabriel couldn’t die!

  She found herself in Seph’s arms, her face and hands pressed against his chest, his arms surrounding her. Huge sobs shook her body, and tears streamed down her face. She barely noticed as he led her out of the tent and away through the camp. And through it all, she cried and cried.

  Never before, not even at the death of her mother, had she reacted this way. It was as if all of her emotions that had been bottled up for years suddenly came flooding out of her. All she could do was weep. But she wasn’t just weeping for Gabriel. She was weeping for all of them. Her mother, her father, her friends, even those that had died by her hand. All who had been caught up in the treachery of Cain, or the deceit of the queen. All that had died from following her.

  Every soul weighed against her, and found her wanting.

  “I cannot keep doing this,” she choked through her sobs. Her voice was strained.

  “You can,” said Seph, holding her even tighter. “You heard Gabriel’s last words. You are not done yet.”

  She shook her head violently. “I can’t. People will just keep dying. Because of me.”

  Seph very wisely did not answer that. Perhaps he knew that it would do no good. Not like this. So he merely held her close, leading them to the edge of camp where they could be free of spying eyes. What did the others think, seeing their former leader break down like this? Would they too finally realize that there was no hope?

  Seph continued holding her until they were some short distance away from the camp. Bless him. He knew exactly what she needed. And right now that was being away from the prying eyes. They sat against the side of a foothill, away from everyone except one of the trolls who stood as still as a statue, ignoring the snow. Seph gave her the silence she needed.

  “I shouldn’t have listened to him before we came. He didn’t want any brands, but I should have given him Healing at least.”

  Seph let that sink in a bit before responding. “I also have no brands. I am still here. He was old, he lived a good life.”

  “I don’t want to hear any of that,” she said, a little more forcefully than she intended. “There is more I could have done.”

  “Perhaps, but that’s not what happened, was it?” She faced him, her cheeks flushed with tears and anger. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “We can’t mourn over what could have been, because that does nothing to advance the present. We can, we must, learn from our mistakes but move on.”

  Jak wiped her nose and sniffed. “How am I supposed to do that? I thought I was making some progress in helping the gnomes expand the caves, but turns out that was not enough. I can’t do anything without the brands.”

  “You know that’s not true.”

  Jak hung her head and another bout of sobs wracked her body. She did know. She was just saying things, trying to justify the moment in her mind, to blame something, even if that blame lay on herself.

  “You’re not done, Jak.” Seph said, his voice still that calm, smooth softness. How could he keep i
t together like that?

  “I don’t even know what that means,” she responded. “Done with what? I can’t exactly change anything anymore. Vander won’t even listen to me, and Skellig only does so when it’s convenient.”

  Seph pointed at her Gifter brand, then moved his hand up to point at her Flamedancer brand, then one by one he pointed to the others. “Because of these. You may not have those abilities anymore, but you are still the first person in centuries to have them at all. You will forever be a beacon of hope.”

  “For all the good it will do me.” She mumbled bitterly.

  “You are still the same person that did all those amazing things, Jak. You may have lost your brand powers, you may have lost your friends and family, but you have not lost what makes you, you.”

  Her face was still hot with grief and rage. But her body relaxed just a bit at hearing him talk. She leaned in so that she was hugging him close, as close as it was possible to do.

  A rumble from one side sounded as the troll moved for the first time. It took two enormous steps in their direction and placed one hand lightly on Jak’s head. She almost laughed despite herself. Now that the troll was closer, and its movements had shaken off the snow that had accumulated on itself, she recognized it as Rael, the troll she had named after her father.

  “Thank you, Rael,” she said. For some reason, the huge Fae’s attempt at comfort helped more than anything that could have been said with words. Seph was staring up at the troll, smiling as if thanking the troll with his eyes.

  They sat there for a while, Jak wiping the tears out of her eyes, the troll simply standing there, as if guarding them from further grief.

  But it was short lived. The troll’s head swung to one side to stare back at the camp. In that same instant, a sound of shouting reached Jak’s ears. Something was happening back at the camp.

  She and Seph stood and peered around the troll to see what it was. There were people there, crowding around the entrance to the caves. She couldn’t see much from this distance, but the light glinted off of something. The people were carrying weapons.