And then I felt him reach across the table and squeeze my hand gently, just for a moment. ‘I didn’t think you’d need to ask that.’
I looked up then, wishing he hadn’t let go so quickly, but also glad that he had. ‘Thank you. And for all your advice.’
‘What are friends for?’ he said then with a smile.
I nodded, my stomach sinking a little even though I knew that was all that we could be.
Chapter Forty-Six
Heather and Rory invited me, Beth, Drew and Izzy over to their farm for dinner on my last night, and I was excited to see it. We drove down the bumpy, gravel track towards the pretty red-brick farmhouse, passing fields of sheep and pens with pigs in, and on the other side, a paddock with two horses in, nibbling at the grass.
‘This place is so rustic,’ I said with a smile.
‘They’ve been doing a lot of work on it, much needed work,’ Drew said, pointing out a new barn that was being built off to the side of the house.
‘I can’t wait for them to get the goats,’ Izzy said. ‘They will be so cute!’
‘Although they eat anything they can get their hands on,’ her father replied.
The farmhouse door opened with a flourish as we pulled up outside and out spilled Heather and Rory, waving madly. Heather held baby Harry in her arms, beaming at us. ‘So glad you could make it,’ she called as we climbed out of the car. She was definitely an advertisement for Scottish air; her skin glowed and the smile was wide on her face as she gave me and Beth a kiss on the cheek, and wrapped her arms around Izzy.
‘Who wants to top up the chicken feed?’ Rory asked, taking Harry from Heather and putting him in his pram. Izzy waved her arm in the air.
‘I’ll come too,’ I volunteered. It had been a long time since I had set foot on a farm. I followed them, the other three opting to head inside to the kitchen to help finish dinner. The sun hadn’t dipped a lot yet; it had been a long, hot summer’s day, which showed no signs of wanting to end. It reminded me of summers when I was young in Scotland, when I was Izzy’s age, running around Glendale village, my feet bare, my arms tanned, hoping that I’d never have to go back to school. The summer back then seemed to last for eternity. What was it about time that as you grew, it seemed to keep on shrinking? This summer already felt like it was hurtling past me with so much going on, I hadn’t had much time just to enjoy it. And I knew I should. It would be my first, and possibly only, summer pregnant. And that was something that would forever mark it as special.
‘Here we go,’ Rory said as we walked around the farmhouse to the field behind, where a dozen or so chickens roamed. He put the brake on the pram and then picked up a bucket of pellets and gave a handful to each of us. ‘You can scatter this for them, they like to forage, and I’ll top up their feeders,’ he said, walking over to the coop.
‘They’re hungry,’ Izzy said with a giggle as two chickens came right up to us. She scattered some pellets, and they dived straight in.
A chicken approached me and I bent down, holding open my hand. He started pecking at the food.
‘That’s so cool,’ Izzy said, looking over.
‘They’re a friendly bunch,’ I said with a laugh as I started to get a little swarm around me. I stood up and threw the rest on the grass for them. I looked at Harry’s eyes widen in the pram as he watched what was going on around him. It would be wonderful for him to grow up on the farm. It got me thinking about my own baby, of course. Plenty of families were raised in cities, but there was a lure out here in the countryside that made me remember how much I had loved my own childhood, and how I would love my own child to have such an upbringing too. I hadn’t gone to London until I was fourteen and by then the shops and the abundance of things to do were more important to me than fresh air and countryside but I had missed both and being back once again in Glendale now was reminding me just how much.
‘Let me show you my favourite horse,’ Izzy said as we strolled back towards the farmhouse. She took my arm and pulled me towards the paddock. I laughed at her excitement. She jumped up on the fence, standing one of the slats, and pointed to the silver pony. She clucked her tongue and it lifted his head.
‘Here,’ Rory said, behind us. He gave her an apple. She held it out and the pony trotted over immediately. ‘Mind your fingers,’ he warned and she held out her hand further away. The horse took the apple in one swipe, crunching on it happily.
‘I really want my own pony,’ Izzy said, reaching out to pat him. ‘Mum said I can have riding lessons and then we’ll see.’
I smiled. What was it about girls and the allure of ponies? I was pretty sure I’d had a pony dream once myself too. But it was soon replaced by my love of baking.
‘Come on, you lot!’ Heather yelled then from the doorway. ‘Dinner’s up!’
We pulled a reluctant Izzy away and headed into the farmhouse, lining up to wash our hands in the kitchen.
‘I bet Harry will love living here,’ I said to Heather as I picked up a bowl of salad for her.
‘It really is lovely seeing him watch the animals – they always make him smile,’ Heather said. ‘I’ve never been an outdoors kind of person but it really has grown on me. Not the early starts in winter though, I refuse to help Rory with those, but summer evenings outside are really beautiful. I’ve been thinking actually that I might need to leave the library. It’s so busy here, and with our shop in the High Street, I really feel like I should focus on the family business. I’ll miss the books though,’ she said as we went outside where everyone was waiting at the picnic table. We faced the rolling fields of the farm, the sun finally starting to dip in the sky, lending a pretty glow to dinner.
I nodded. ‘The shop is doing well then?’
‘Really well. It’s taken a while to build the business back up, you know? But the community is strong, and we have been getting lots of press lately encouraging tourists too. It’s going from strength to strength.’ She looked at me as she placed the basket of fresh bread down. ‘All we need now is a place for coffee and cake,’ she added with a wink.
I smiled. ‘I think you’re right,’ I agreed, sitting down next to Beth. It was hard not to look around me at the happy group of friends I was eating with, and not feel like I wanted to join them. It wasn’t of course a perfect life, no life is, and Heather herself had just said how hard it could be, but I could see how happy they all were, and I did feel like I could be happy here as well.
‘Are you okay?’ Beth asked then, noticing that I hadn’t tucked into the food like they all had.
‘Just thinking,’ I said, leaning over to pick up the bowl of potatoes and scoop some onto my plate.
‘As long as it’s about how you’re going to move to Glendale then I’ll leave you be,’ she said with a laugh.
I shook my head. She really was relentless. My phone rang then. ‘I’d better take this, it’s my mum,’ I said, climbing out from the bench. I answered as I walked towards the field. ‘Hello?’
‘Hi, darling. Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine. What’s up?’ I leaned against the fence, looking up to the pink sky above me.
‘I have some news – some good news. A couple have made an offer on your house, and it’s for the full asking price!’
‘Oh my God,’ I said, slowly, letting that sink in.
‘They are desperate for somewhere. I think she’s pregnant too actually, and they’d like to move in as soon as possible. No chain, of course. They’re asking how quickly you can come down to sign all the paperwork, and discuss a moving date.’
‘Wow, okay.’ I glanced back at the others. ‘I can be back by midday tomorrow.’
‘Great. We’ll come with you, of course. Soon all your debts will be cleared, and you can put all of this behind you.’
‘I hope so. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I said goodbye and hung up, looking back up at the sunset. I was pleased the house had sold so quickly although I really didn’t relish the prospect of having to go back to London aga
in at all, which seemed to be a sign. Perhaps the sign I had been waiting for.
With a sigh, I pulled myself from the fence and went back to the others to tell them the news, hoping with all my heart that I would be back here again soon.
Part Three
Chapter Forty-Seven
My house was a hive of activity.
Mum and Dad were helping me to pack up the last of my things. After completing all the paperwork, the couple who had bought my house begged me to rent it to them until the sale officially went through. They had nowhere to go after their landlord had found new tenants, and she was heavily pregnant, and the extra money was too much of an incentive for me to turn down. There was an added bonus – they wanted to keep as much furniture as I was prepared to offer them. As I was planning to store everything at my parent’s house until I made a final decision on my future, it was fine with me to let them buy what they wanted, and leave with just my belongings. Greg’s parents checked it was okay with him through his therapist at rehab, and they were coming over later to pick up the things he wanted to keep.
Now the house was sold, I just wanted for it to be over, to get everything done that needed to be done, and then I could make a fresh start.
‘I’ll carry that,’ my dad said quickly, grabbing a box from my hands as he passed me. ‘I keep telling you not to carry anything heavy today,’ he added with a stern look.
‘I’m fine, Dad,’ I told him with a roll of my eyes.
‘You need to take care of yourself,’ he said, walking through with the box.
I sighed. I preferred to be keeping busy but I was getting a little tired, not that I would admit it to him, so I headed for the kitchen for a well-earned tea break.
‘Oh, good idea,’ Mum said, following me in. ‘Have we got any biscuits left?’
‘Definitely,’ I replied bringing the tin over to the table. We sat down with two mugs of tea. ‘Isn’t it weird how you can just pack up your life like this?’
‘These are just things,’ she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. ‘Not your life.’
I nodded but it did feel as if my old life was being put away in a box. I just needed to decide what my new one was going to look like. I was planning to see Molly the next day – it was time for me to make my final decision. ‘Greg’s parents will be here soon,’ I said after taking a sip of tea. I was hoping to both get an update on how his treatment was going, and to also talk to them about Scotland. I knew I couldn’t just skip off to Glendale without seeing what they thought about it. I certainly didn’t want to do or say anything that might set back Greg’s treatment – he was allowed to make phone calls soon, and I had to plan what I would say when he called me.
‘Do you want us to stay while you talk to them?’
I shook my head. ‘No, you guys have done so much today already. I really appreciate it, I couldn’t have done all this on my own. I didn't realise that I had so much stuff.’
‘Well, at least it’s been a good excuse to have a clear out. You wait until you have to deal with baby stuff as well…’
The doorbell rang, and we looked at one another.
‘Greg’s parents are here,’ Dad called from the hallway. We hastily got up and went out to greet them. Greg’s parents were older than mine, and both retired. They lived out in Kent, and we had always got on but it felt a little awkward under the circumstances. There was a round of hand-shaking and cheek-kissing as everyone said hello.
‘Right, we’ll take everything back to ours now then,’ Dad said, turning to me.
‘That would be great, thanks. Do you want to go into the living room?’ I suggested to Sue and Tom, gesturing behind me. I stepped outside to see Mum and Dad off, their car packed up with my things. ‘I’ll see you soon,’ I said. I would be staying at their house for the time being. I glanced back at the house. It was pretty much ready for the new owners. The end of an era.
Mum patted my arm. ‘Onward to bigger and better things, I promise.’ She gave me a quick, tight hug, and then Dad gave me a kiss. I watched them drive off, lifting my hand in a wave before taking a deep breath and going back in to talk to Sue and Tom.
After I made a fresh round of tea, I sat down on the opposite sofa to them. ‘So, how is Greg doing?’ I asked. I had phoned the treatment centre a couple of times but all they had said was that things were progressing well.
‘We spoke to his therapist this morning,’ Tom said. He looked like Greg, albeit with less muscles and more grey hair. He had been a police officer and I knew he was proud his son had followed him into the emergency services. ‘She said Greg has been finding it tough, but that is to be expected. They are happy with how it’s going but they did mention that Greg has been asking about the possibility of staying longer.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, really?’
‘She said that he’s nervous about how he will cope when he leaves. She asked us to think about whether we might want to keep him there for another month. Obviously, it’s a lot of money but if that’s what he needs…’ He glanced at his wife.
‘They said that Greg has particularly been focused on the baby, and how he will cope being a father if he can’t get a hold of his addictions,’ Sue continued, smiling kindly at me. ‘If he needs to stay in longer, we’ll find the money.’
‘Of course,’ I replied. ‘I think you’ve been so supportive… he’s lucky to have you both. Obviously, I want Greg to be as strong as he can be for when the baby comes. And if he is going to be there longer then I need to talk to you both about something.’ I told them about Molly’s offer and the fact that my friend Beth had a shop that I could use for my bakery. ‘It’s in Glendale, where I grew up, and I don’t want to do anything that will set Greg's progress back but obviously I need to think about the future, and what’s best for me and the baby too,’ I finished up, honestly.
They exchanged a wary look.
‘So, you’re thinking of moving up to Scotland?’ Sue asked, a frown creasing her face. ‘Before the baby comes?’
‘It would need to be as soon as possible if I have any hope of opening it before the baby arrives. I have always wanted my own bakery and this is such an incredible opportunity,’ I found myself babbling a little with nerves at seeing the horrified looks on their faces. ‘Not only is Molly giving me such a wonderful leg-up but my friend runs the shops as a profit-share scheme so until I make money, I won’t need to pay rent. Plus the rent is far cheaper up there than anything I could find down here. And Glendale is a wonderful place – there’s countryside, and fresh air, and such a wonderful community. A lovely place to raise a baby.’ As I spoke the words, I realised how much I believed in them. How much I really did want this now.
‘But it’s so far away,’ Sue said. ‘This is our first grandchild! When would we see it? And Greg… he’ll be heartbroken.’
‘I would never stop Greg from seeing our child, or you,’ I said, firmly. ‘I want you all to be involved. I mean, as long as Greg is capable of being involved. And you both could come up too, whenever you wanted.’
Tom patted his wife’s knee. ‘It is a good opportunity for you, we can see that, but have you really thought about how Greg will feel?’
‘Did he think about my feelings when he gambled away all our money and forced us to sell this house? I know he’s getting help but he’s put me through a lot,’ I said, feeling the tears rising up in my eyes. ‘And I’m all alone trying to think about what I can do next. What if he can’t get his job back? I’ll have to support our baby alone. I need to think about our future. And if that’s selfish of me then I deserve to be a bit selfish right now I think!’ I sat back, wiping my eyes, my heart beating furiously inside my chest.
‘I didn’t mean to upset you,’ Tom said, gently. ‘I know our son has put you through a lot these past few weeks. He hasn’t been a good partner to you, we know that. He has a lot of issues to work through, and he needs to focus on that, but you’re right that you should focus on our grandchild.’
&nb
sp; ‘Do you promise that we can see the baby whenever we want?’ Sue asked then, biting her lip.
‘I promise,’ I assured her. ‘And I’ll be moving away from my parents too but this is my one chance to have my own business, to build something for me and my child. I really can’t turn this down,’ I said. And I knew that was true. It would be hard. I was terrified! But I owed it to my baby to try this. And to myself, too. I wanted to do this. ‘You know how you feel about Greg. After all he’s put you through, you love him and want to protect him, don’t you? He’s your son. Well, this is my child, and I have to do the same.’ I added, touching my slowly growing bump.
They looked at one another again. ‘We understand,’ Sue said, finally, even as her tears welled up.
Relief washed over me. ‘Thank you. Should I… should I say anything to Greg about it?’
‘No,’ Tom said, quickly. ‘Not yet. It’s such early days and it sounds as if he’s already concerned about the future. We can talk to his therapist about it and get her advice.’
‘Thank you. For everything. I mean that,’ I said, fiercely. It felt as if a huge weight had gone. I’d made my decision. It wasn’t going to be easy but I was going to make my dream come true.
For both me and my baby.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Molly made us both lunch at her house, and we sat in the bright kitchen, the French doors flung open to her long, narrow garden letting in a gentle breeze. ‘My supplier recommended these guys,’ Molly said, sliding a business card across the table to me. ‘They won’t rip you off when it comes to the oven you’ll need to install.’
I nodded. ‘The kitchen is the top priority. It was a café but obviously not a bakery, so we need a much larger oven.’
‘And a new counter, I assume, from the photos you sent me.’
‘Definitely, so people can see what’s on offer, and shelves behind for the bread,’ I said, picking up a piece of crusty bread and buttering it. ‘I need to find tables and chairs too but Beth knows a place in Inverness we can try. And the whole place needs decorating. I might try to do that myself to save on costs.’
New Beginnings At Glendale Hall Page 23